HostAsha

kelli : I am glad you are fine & like I told you before looking good pinkish too. whole story you were describing & hospital you went in was where our son got in his first medical school acceptance though later he chose upitt medical college since it is one of the top 15 medical college. but resident,doctors, nurses running around to take care of patients reminded me my own hospital visit 16 years ago & ofcourse now i visualize our handsome son will be working as resident doctor in few years. BTW after all this melodrama did they finally realign your jaw so that you don't feel vertigo ever again lol. welcome back we all miss you including your boyfriend at home . Asha

you are forewarned with my blog heading, in this blog I am going toot my own horn. all my life there is voice inside my head told me oh how you are not good enough in anything. but I have lived 50 years of life & as people say hindsight is 2020, I see one of the remarkable quality about me which actually brought to my attention by Sue & I have started noticing it too now & realizing to pat my back for that quality., so thanks Sue, & now I feel like great human being who has ability to go with the flow when things don't go according to plan. I noticed this amazing quality in me that not only I go with flow but have amazing time in it too, of course some of the initial period is ridden with sadness & that depends on what kind of adversity is thrown in my life. & mind you this were all life changing events at the time & I had thought my world as I know ended but I managed to find joy in it & guess what new world I was thrown into turned out to be better & I had amazing rich experiences while going through it. for example 1. break up with best friends in college - after month of feeling sorry for myself found another great set of friends & had amazing great time at rest of the years in the university 2. meeting & marrying my hubby after meeting just few times, I thought I had done compromise & married guy who was way more mature & older & serious kind not as fun loving as me, and guess what it turned out to be one of the my best decision. I had great time living away from him for few months & having such a good time with my in laws, even there while waiting for my visa to come I had so much fun with all my nieces & nephews, sister in laws, mother in law father in law. 3. even after coming to US realized we didn't have money to spend on unnecessary things & had to rebuild our life from scratch. Though I never remembered it ever felt like chore, it was all so exciting building this new life in this new country with this new guy who later after my stroke realized is my biggest enabler & cheerleader. I worked full time had our first baby & also did my graduate studies while pregnant with our son. 4. after my stroke life came to standstill & I never thought i will find joy in living again, but guess what my going with flow personality & make the best lemonade possible allowed me to even enjoy my post stroke disabled life, I gave my 100% to raising our son who was just 7 at the time & from time to time we would clash when I tried to micromanage him to make sure I don't mess up in raising him which I felt was my only shot since he is our only child, I didn't want to mess this up, I want to be best mom. point I am trying to make here is looking back on my own's journey I do feel I have this great quality of surrendering & going with flow & enjoying the ride while I am in it, of-course there were some moments, days or weeks of feeling sorry for myself was there, but that has made me the person I am very happy & proud of it. I am realizing even kido also share that trait of mine along with my sense of humor, so I know he will thrive in his life too. Asha

Kelli : I believe in all religions & believe all paths are finally leading to God whatever you call him. I believe people believe & follow whatever gives them comfort in life. I feel I am more spiritual person than religious person. I believe in doing right things. I believe we all spiritual being having human experience. Asha

your garden looks amazing & your travel pictures with your wife looks so pretty Arizona has one of the most beautiful landscape in USA Asha

congratulations jay, time to celebrate everyday with family like you do Asha

OMG Ryder looks so cute & big now time flies still remembered him as baby,now looking like toddler enjoy him & be sweetest & coolest mimi that you are Asha

Sue : welcome to wonderful therapeutic world of blogging. my world, I love it I love your new year resolutions, pretty good, love it, I should try to incorporate some of those in my life too Asha

I love it Sue & plan on copying you. enjoy life while we are still here. Asha

Kevin : wow big crowd, you are braver than you know & think, wow I am scared even looking at the crowd. you rock & great champion for the cause amazing. Asha Chandra

wow kevin : great job on your first blog all goals accomplished, it will be easier if you create new blog for your every new entry instead of adding into same blog, since we don't realize if somone just adds the comment, but new blog gets publishes & people get to read it. Asha

Happy New year everyone.hope you all had wonderful year. For our family 2019 year was filled with lot of joy. most importantly our son got into one of the top medical college in the USA making all of us so happy & proud of him. & he already finished his first semester there & enjoying himself, he has great set of friends & amazing professors who all are all great doctors who want to make a difference in people's life, & according to him none of his professors have any big air around them, they treat their students as if these kids will be their future collaborators, so every one is treated with lot of respect, I guess I need to start treating him like adult & not child & micromanage whenever he comes home for holidays. lesson for mom to learn. now change of subject, I am not a person ever to make resolution for new year, but this year after reading my favorite blogger's blog I have decided to do two important things for year 2020. I have decided to do good things jar for 2020. its kind of gratitude jar where you put good things that happened during week & you open it on next year end & relive those memories, which felt as a great exercise to try, so I am going to try this year. Also planning to do one word mantra for this new year 2020. lot of time when I am trying something new I freeze with fear and with all useless thoughts of how I am not good enough or smart enough or I will mess up big time. so this year I am making my new year mantra to be "just Do it". Nike slogan. I know taking that one step in right direction & you can always finish your project on time, so I am going to recite my that one line mantra for year 2020 when I freeze. wishing you all happy, healthy & prosperous new year. hope some of you join me in this bandwagon of doing this good resoluion. I am happy kevin from our chat group is going to give it a try. Asha

kevin : welcome to wonderful & therapeutic world of blogging. you will see huge benefits of logging like I discovered for myself which has made me blog junkie. I feel this site & blogging played huge role in my life in getting rid of my depression. Happy New year & I am planning to do good things jar this year, it will be my to do list task every sunday along with my watching supersoul sunday series. keep on blogging. Asha

Sue : I am glad you were able to create new memories for Christmas. As we get older things change, routines change & the way we celebrate our holidays change. Only change in life is permanent. Asha

Pam : I am so sorry you had to go through this, but I am glad your son was with you & you got your treatment right away. Its not your time yet. I never thought about heart attack is more stressful than stroke, & you are so right about it, stroke was so peaceful there was no fear of anything. hope you feel better soon & find your new normal soon, prayers & hugs Asha

Nancy : sending you prayers & hugs Asha

like I have been telling you guys & writing in my this online journal so that I go back & take a look at it again & find those wise words again when I am wavering when encountering some negative events in life, I have been attending this discussion format classes in our temple nearby where they are discussing bhagwad Gita sacred& ancient book of Hindu religion. It is teachings of God to prince on the battlefield where he is all torn apart & questioning these basic question that arises in his mind & God answers them beautifully, background of the story is there 5 brothers (pandava)who are righteous & by cunning method of their cousins kaurava who took away their kingdom by cheating them in game of chess, & after long years staying away from their kingdom since they lost it in game of chess when pandava came back to claim back their kingdom as per their agreement & cousins would not give it, so they had to fight their own cousins , Arjuna head prince of pandavas who was bravest & expert warrior looking right in-front of him his own cousins, teachers from he had learned all his skills from on the battlefield, he gert all discouraged & started questioning what he is about to do on the battle field to his charioteer, who happens to be Lord Krishna himself. bhagwad Geeta is beautiful questions, answers series of dialogue between Arjuna & Krishna. lot of questions Arjuna asks to God are very relevant & we all human beings also face similar question from time to time. like why should I fight my illness or my family for anything I know I had faced them & was all confuse about what I should do when things got hard in my own life & I had to make decisions, & I feel lucky to have resources like these & made my decisions based on them. basic teachings of Geeta is following 1, do your duties(Karma) based on your dharma like role you are playing in life,(wife,mother,employee,warrior, whatever role you are playing) 2. don't get attach to results( this was my AHA moment of the class last weekend, you do your part expecting results, but don't get attach to results, results can go wither in your favor or against you. your job is to do your job without having any expectations, say results don't go your way, so what you don't know whole story, how things will unfold. Only control we have in life is doing our job. I find I can so relate to Geeta) when things got hard in my life giving up felt so easy, but I held on tight on strength of my hubby & my family & friends who decided to stay by my side & ofcourse our son was just 7 at the time, I could not do that injustice to him by giving up, I decided at that time he deserves better mom I will fight tooth & nail & never allow this stupid stroke to take away joy from my life, Anyway my latest AHA moment was do your duties but don't get attach to results, my job in this battlefield of life is doing right things let God worry about results on which I don't have any control over. Asha

George : I love your zeal for the life & willing to try different things, I love your idea of knowing when something is not working out then stop it & try something else. good lesson. it feels so great to see you enjoying leslie's mom so much. Merry christmas to you, leslie & Mum Asha

when we went on our vacation to India got great news of one of the family member which filled our heart with so much joy that I still smile thinking about that great news, & while coming home from India we got worst news on our whatsapp message which rattled both hubby & me no end & it tears me up every time i think about it I still can't believe death of our spiritual teacher with whom our paths crossed right when I felt like I was drowning in grief of my stroke & disability & changes that brought in our life. he was our guiding light to get us through that dark tunnel journey. you know meeting him & bumping into right books at the right time has made me believer of statement teachers will always appears when student is ready. I know for me he was my teacher who helped me navigate those dangerous water of my life's journey. we have known him for last 15 years, so his death news was totally unexpected, he is renowned teacher of our spiritual books with whom you can discuss things you are trying to understand in life & he will explain in layman's terms without any arrogance of his knowledge or anything. right after my stroke when I was struggling with my self worth issues & my constant struggles with kido in trying to make him try new things & his fights & not getting any thanks in return for trying my best but rather how I was such a pain mom was making me one very frustrated mom & I had asked our teacher how do you find joy in thankless job of parenting or being wife whose husband will only comment or talk if things have not gone wrong in my dish. his response to my self centered query was brilliant, he just said do your duties as offering to God & you will never expect thank yous in return. It was one of the light bulb going in my head at that time. I should do my duty as wife & mom with full integrity & good intention without any returns, & I will get my returns when I see my son & family happy & successful in his life. today I know that's the case, so I feel hugely indebted to our spiritual teacher & feeling loss of his life immensely, I still can't believe I will never see him again :(, but I know he has left legacy of 100s of people whose life he has touched in past. he was instrumental in staring summer camp in temple near our home & starting all these hinduisim classes where adults can meet & discuss all our old scriptures. I know 100s of kids & adults have taken advantage of these great things in our temple in last decade. I was there volunteering till my kido was there in the system, & thanks to that we have been associated with very like minded people in our neighborhood. Even today hubby & I both go & attend one of the classes offered by temple in our neighborhood. something I look forward to every weekend. I had to write this to get off my chest & mind this news. Asha

Geroge : you continue to amaze me with your all can do attitude towards life & refuse to sit by sidelines & not enjoy the life to fullest. I find you so inspiring. keep on rocking with leslie Asha

wow Doreen : our paths might have crossed in singapore & since we haven't seen each other in person must have missed each other. I liked Singapore though did not like hot & humid weather there Asha

We just returned home from our month long vacation to India, Singapore & Malaysia. It was fun filled trip. We had planned to do sight seeing with hubby's side of family in small AC Mini bus, trip was planned by hubby's older brother & we had lot of fun together. I get along well with every one so traveling together is always fun, though because of my unsteadiness on getting up & down tall steps & places if there is no railing, hubby was always by my side & my sister in laws, so I always felt safe though I did tumble at one place but no major damage. This trip we had planned to visit hubby's childhood friend in Singpore, he has been inviting us for ages, finally we made it happen & had great time with them, attended wedding in India with family & reached home just in time for kiddo's thanksgiving vacation. Kido is enjoying his college & getting mature day by day & don't seem to hate me any more & do love me. today we decided to go for frozen 2 movie luckily he sat next to me instead of dad & was ok with me holding his hand, one of the highlight for me. my heart filled with joy & gratitude. one of the song in movie which hit the chord with me, when you are in darkness just take one step at a time & do the next right thing, don't think about future, just take one step at a time & do the next right thing, & soon you will be out of tunnel. That song is so true, I am here living proof , & lived to tell it while siting at the movie theater with love of my life & holding his hand and feeling grateful & happy to be alive & surrounded by so much love & happiness. kido & I both loved the movie, hubby was dozing on & off while both of us were having fun in our own way lol. Asha

Pam : prayers & condolences for your loss, & I am so delighted you are united with your daughter, hopefully soon your children will too. even in low phase in life there is always something to be grateful about. Asha

Like I have mentioned before, weekend I usually spend in my spiritual learning, Saturday evening usually reserved for learning of our hindu scripture Bhagwad Geeta, whose teachings I find it very relevant for all human beings, & my Sunday mornings I love to spend in Oprah's super soul Sunday series where she brings in guest who can depart great teachings through their book by sharing their experiences in life. It was surprising these both days teaching were about same thing like Sun is always out there shining which is eternal truth, just because right now it is hiding behind cloud does not mean Sunlight or sun never existed before, its that cloud aka our faulty understanding which got blocked by cloud needs to disappear to see that eternal truth, that was my own AHA moment, so we need to work towards our understanding to realize what is eternal truth & what is cloud which alters your reality about situation like our ego,anger,jealousy, all those bad vices we all human have, which clouds our reality. So knowing to identify these clouds & understand the eternal truth is goal of our human experience. I was like wow I get it now, but I am sure I will forget as soon as something won't go according to how I want it to go, that's why I keep on gravitating towards this timeless teaching to clear cloud which sometimes block my vision about my own life experiences & experience pain, suffering & other useless emotions. Asha