HostAsha

Kelli :

you nailed it. That's why I feel stroke was valuable teacher for me or us, which allowed us look beyond petty things. & grow spiritually & mentally how cool is that.

Asha

Pam :

don't project too far in future with your fears & create yourself unnecessary anxiety, sometimes written words can be mis interpreted, he loves you & won't act that way because of misunderstanding. Would you have done to your own children? He must be hurt thats why not communicating & taking break, don't read too much into it & create yourself anxiety. Family fight with each other & then comes around for each other in their hour of need.  Pain is no fun, I pray for your strength & relief for you. Also I know when I am hurting or frustrated I take out my anger on person who are closet to me, so usually my hubby gets my frustration. then I feel bad that poor guy if he gives up on us I will be screwed fpr life so better be nice to him lol. We have to be kind to every one who comes in our life

Asha

Kelli :

I am glad you just got warning. I  think you should try to get all morning shifts. With your eyesight driving during daylight is better.

Asha

Sue :

I am so sorry for your loss. you have to be like doctor & not get attached to any of their patient, I know its hard thing to do. I am so glad you had great friendship with Lyn., after Ray passed away. We all need some good friend we can hang out & can tell each other all of our emotions, fears everything. I am still searching for that in someone. I think I am looking for good girlfriend I can talk to & get guidance from without any judgement  & honest feedback on how to improve my life so that it feels more meaningful.

Asha

Tracy :

I also think I talk about my stroke & my recovery story to every one. I also feel I should stop. Its been 14 years this is my life with my challenges no one has to care about it & give any allowances for it. World does not revolve around my problems.Every one has gne through some issues in their life.  your step mom has issues but  since you are living with them, only thing you can do is to help out in cleaning without judgement. there has to be give & take in every  relationship.

Asha

Ruth :

I am so sorry for your loss, you both have been through lot together, & what I have seen from my blog window perspective you have done your best & you are amazing caregiver. Not every one is that lucky, so many marriages break apart when going gets tough. I am glad your bond strengthen, and you had enough supportive friends to get you through difficult phase of your life. I am so happy William got closure with his children. Knowing you & your journey was great privilege. Hope days ahead You create lot of happy memories for you.

Asha

hey kelli :

good luck on your new job adventure, it will be hard in the beginning, but never give up or quit, once you stick it out, things will start to get easier. God always help out in many different forms. So give it a shot, you never know what you are capable of until you try.

Asha

Ruth :

you & William are in my thoughts & prayers, I am so glad you have friends & hospice to help you out in this difficult time. please know you have done amazing job as a caregiver. We all have been witness to your journey with William. you have tried your best. I know Death is never easy & loosing your loved ones is never ever easy.  Ruth just heard dr.JB Millar on oprah's supersoul where he talked about create flower-petal moment, when person finally leaves his human body decorate with flowers surround him & share stories of him with your loved ones, it will create beautiful memories which will last you life time.  I know you must be going through difficult time right now, but be strong & be present in now with will.

hugs,

Asha

Tracy :

exercise is good suggestion. try to do every day atleast 10,000 steps, go out for walk two times for 30 mins & you will end up with 10,000 steps. I noticed when you do exercise it makes your body also tired so sleeping comes easy, & also wake up in the morning by 8 & start your day, have a routine  in life, that will help. These are steps I took accidentals  which all helped me, hope you try too & see power of it.

Asha

Sue:

so sorry to hear about your aneurysm , you are taking it right way, none of us like bad news but I m glad its not cancer, just take one day at a time. glad you had good time with your daughter to these doctors appointment. I feel even though all disease are bad, but with cancer & some of other disease you get chance to say proper goodbyes & tie loose ends so that when you are gone no one fights over anything & there are written instructions for everything

Asha

Tracy :

I am glad your dad is doing well & you found some medication which might help in your emotional liability & anxiety issues. Try meditation & cognitive therapy which might also help.

Asha

Kelli :

I am glad you got to bottom of that smell you used to complain about. we have worry free contract from PSEG for all of our appliances, its big peace of mind for us when none of us are handyman. Think aout abundance in life & you will attract abundance in your life

Asha

Ruth :

I am so sorry you have come to this part of your journey with William, glad you have your paperwork ready, life with us survivors is not easy one for sure

Asha

Nancy:

I think right now you are looking with different angle & thinking of taking care of him at home, you forgot how taxing it was on your mental health when you tried to do it all by yourself. Caregiving is not easy job. If you decide to bring him home, think about hiring full time help at home, so that you don't get overburdened

Asha

OMG Tracy :

you guys are going through some really difficult period will be praying for you & your family. Hang in there, & lookout for few things to be grateful for every day.

Asha

Sue :

very thoughtful blog, you seems to be handling all your lows quite head on now, seems like you are going with flow now instead of resisting it.

Asha

wow Kelli :

Its amazing what these doctors can fix, looks so complicated, glad all went well & you are home resting. hope to see you soon grandma lol

Asha

Tracy :

sending you hugs & prayers, just keep your head above water, nothing lasts forever, this shall pass. Usually things are never under our control, its how we will respond to events, make them dreary or good. I know it is easy to get frustrated over toilet seat never put right back down, I know I yell at my son all the time about it & tell him one day he will have to pull me out of toilet with me being stuck in toilet lol & it won't be pretty sight. but does he listen? no, but does it matter? no. I put toilet seat down & move on. my condolences  for you, life & death none of us have any control over it, how we lived each day is only control we have. praying for happy days for you.

Asha

Kelli :

don't be afraid to try because of failure of trying. mind is beautiful thing, you will never know what you could accomplish because of fear.  once you try, you realize  you are much more capable of credit you are giving yourself. you are survivor after all. This is yet another boulder to push it to top, and you can do it. I am betting on it.

Asha

Sue:

I have same issues with my husband, I know he loves me dearly  & shows his love through his actions, of-course not all actions shows that, but that applies to me as well none of us are perfect human being, We all can do our best & need to accept each other the way we are instead of trying to change one another. So from time to time my discontent shows up, I just wanted to write it  & get some wisdom that this is all normal & get over with it.

Thanks for thoughtful comment, it helps me settle down

Asha

Tracy :

you & your dad will be in my thoughts & prayers. Hope & pray everything goes well for your dad. keep on being strong for him.

Asha

you write quite well, it does provide good window to your life. I feel We all go through period of ups & downs in life. I love online courses too keeps your brain cells quite stimulated. In Yale university they have required course happiness, which has become quite popular with all college freshman kids & professors alike, professor who teaches course was on CNN today. What she says & I believe fully having routine in life is must which brings happiness in life. I know that is true statement for fact. Right after my stroke when I was highly depressed & with  no routine in life, I did not see any point of getting out of bed. once I forced myself to have routine it made huge difference in my mental outlook  on life. So I feel few things are must do

1.  have routine

2. exercise for 30 mins a day

3. try to be self sufficient do whatever you can do so that it is one less thing for your family member to do & you don't feel like burden on any one.

Belated happy birthday,life is too short enjoy every day to fullest.

Asha

On 7/21/2018 at 10:20 PM, tmciriani said:

I hope you are right Pam. I hear how sometimes you are caught off guard ambushed and have to be big. I totally understand that. It will affect me one of two ways: I'll freeze and cry or I'll shoot back with a sharp bite. Or your dreams, waking, sleeping and how sometimes they all mesh together. I have super vivid lifelike dreams and I sometimes have to be awake for a bit to comprehend that I'm not in the dream or what I might think is reality. I can let things go Asha that is good advice. I try not to hold on to things for later. So I said what I said and that was that. I don't want to upset my sick father...I don't want to feel threatened or need to be protective either (about my father). I really like the saying people in glass houses should not throw stones. I see it as regards to both he and I. The biggest thanks is that I can let these feelings out when I am here. It doesn't always mean it's helpful for another so my blog I feel is a safe place...where I can let it out and y'all can read it or not. Thanks!

Tracy :

you can post all your feelings here, but also keep open mind & ready to ignore people's comments, if some you don't like, rather getting upset  about commentspeople  post. I don't believe any one have bad intention of hurting any one, they just give feedback based on their life experience, as a blogger you take it or ignore. So Just saying because I know how I operate when giving comments to bloggers here. So If I offended any one in my comments then please forgive me

Asha

hey George :

Welcome back, wow what a trip, I saw pictures of your trip its so beautiful. We have done Alaska by cruise 10 years ago & it was beautiful, but I don't think we covered all of it. Its amazing you saw wild life from so close. Hope Mum feels better soon.

you guys are making some amazing memories

Asha

hey Tracy :

Pam nailed it. I think sometimes it is good to remember every one is fighting tough battles in their life & give concessions to them because they are our own family.  your Dad is going through his own struggle right now so might be at the edge & took out his frustrations on your cat & you. Things wouln't have mattered to you, but our unconscious mind weaves some weird stories based on our own uncertainties & feelings at the time, & we end up making mountain out of molehill. I feel right now is the time to be at your dads side & not add any more stress by fights & arguing about small things. At the end of the day in big scheme of things these are all small things. So don't get stressed by these things acknowledge feelings & move on.

Asha