HostAsha

Pat: congratulations on your anniversary. attitude of yours will take you to great altitudes. Asha

I usually like to blog only good things in my life & don't like to do why me blogs, but I don't want blogreaders to think that nothing goes wrong in my life. I guess being human none of us are spared from disappointments & inconviences in life. I guess as long as I can differentiate inconviences from disasters I should do well. now that I am writing about my yesterday's event I am realizing that thank god it wasn't disaster. yesterday while driving our son to his orthodentist's appointment I got into car accident. I rear ended car infront of me. bad thing is that I just found out that I basically totaled our car so might have to buy new car once we come from our vacation. so as they say life is full of good, bad & ugly moments. I guess I should now know something good always comes out if you keep your head above water & keep on treading water something good will eventually come out, maybe nice shiny new car lol. problem is I don't like changes I love my old car & would love to get it repaired so that I can still use it. I was so mad at myself yesterday & felt hubby & kido deserves better wife and mom. I am glad hubby don't share my thoughts, he is kind of guy who always solves problems head on instead of procastinating. harder problem is he gets more determined. I guess God knew what kind of husband is best suited for me. I guess his training as accountant comes handy when dealing with financial things. I guess in long marriages people adapt to cover each others weakness, someday I feel he deserves better wife than me Asha

Sue: you are very right, but I feel sometime in life you need to take risk & step out of your comfort zone & then I believe work hard to succeed in it, though I feel one has that kind of drive during their 20-40, & that drive decrease after 50 when you start thinking of retirement. Asha

yesterday I was talking with friend of ours and she was telling me story of their life like every immigrant how hard they worked in this country and how well they are doing now made me realize harder you work luckier you get in life. from her story & lot of my family members stories I have seen that with willing to go outside your comfort zone & not afraid to work hard to achieve your goals, one can get quite lucky in life. I feel strongly we are responsible for our own life, our choices in life decides our destiny. Yes I agree we don't have control over disease, but lot of other things we do have control over, and I have choice to make good choice every day in my life. This is lesson I recite to our son there are no shortcuts in life, work hard & good things will happen. Asha

Sue: you and Ray will be in my thoughts & prayers. please remember not to have any expectation on wedding day. just be there to enjoy the ceremony. I have realized when I have expectations from day or anybody & if it does not go as I hoped I feel unhappy. so trick I have learnt is just enjoy the moment & be really there without any expectations of any kind. I am sure Trev & Eddie will have great wedding day surrounded by their loved ones even if not everything goes as planned. Asha

Leah: you and jerry will be in my thoughts and prayers for easy journey & remission ahead. Asha

hey Debbie: I am srry to hear Bruce's fall, but glad he did not break any bones & new lessons learnt. in my mind as long as we are learning from our experiences, no experience has gone waste. hopefully with therapy & baclofan Bruce will soon adjust to his new leg feeling till then keep eye on him. Asha

Sheryl: :congrats: on your driving, the more you wil do easier it will get & it will do wonders on your self confidence. I agree once you start driving you feel like life is still great just little different. It took me couple of years to convince hubby to allow me to drive, once he was ok & I started driving life is so great, I feel my worth as a person also increased in my mind since I am able to contribute in our household Asha

Lynn: thanks for update. I am glad you are busy with life with family members. hope your son finds good doctor to sort out his medical issues. Asha

I know I am very lucky to be married to the great guy who has amazing inner strength to remain calm in the middle of storm. I am really glad that it was me who suffered stroke & he needed to be strong for me. just yesterday found out something new from him about my stroke survivor journey. I was telling him stories I read here where doctors won't give hope of recovery to patient or their family. I was telling him I was so lucky to have great doctors who never took away that hope from me. he was like you were shielded by us in your hospital stay cause doctors never gave any hopes of great recovery to my family members, I guess that's the reason mom was crying all the time while she was there & I hated her for that. but my family chose not to believe doctors & pass that information to me, I am so greatful for that, in the begining my family always told me I will be normal again. My hubby told me he had dream of me doing dance just like old times with him & ofcourse I believed him. I guess thats the difference between east & west where in east patient is shielded from all medical information so that he can have hope & able to live life to fullest in coming months & years. where as in west patient is made aware of its prognosis however dire & sad it is & take away that last bit of hope from him so that patient gives up & don't fight for his life. looking at my journey I feel what my family did for me was the best thing cause at that time in my life just having my old life back was the only thing I wanted, I was not ready for my new life & new normal. It took time, but slowly I accepted my post stroke life. I have realized my life post stroke is just different not good or bad, its just different. and being different does not mean I am not happy as before, actually I feel I am more happy &being able to stay in present & enjoy my life with things I deeply cared about. I care about my family & close friends & I am lucky to be still surrounded by them & enjoying & appreciating my time with them. had they told me my bleak prognosis would I have had strength to fight on at that time, I don't think so, I m glad they kept my hope alive at the time to hang on to realize later on that my different new normal is still great & more meaningful than ever before even after 20 years of marriage I learn something new about him & love him all the more for that. Asha

Jillian: I am happy for your clean bill of health, now sky is limit, life will be what you do with it. With my depression I realized after couple of hard years how my attitude & anxiety affected my family. Once I realize every day I have choice on my attitude on how I will react to any circumstances, just choosing to be happy every day has made huge difference in my life & my family's life. hope you make wise choices every day. Asha

hey Lenny: thank you for writing such a wonderful blog. I feel I am also blessed like you & when we are blessed like that we don't have anything to complain about. Asha

Mike: you & kitty will be in my thoughts and prayers. Asha

julia: thanks for updating us, I like your analogu with waves. Its so very true, hang in there, sun always comes out. Asha

Katrina please take Maria's advice. I agree with her 100%. you will do yourself injustice if you blame all your growing pains onto stroke. yes with stroke it becomes that much harder, but once you accept your stroke as part of what it made you, other growing pain you will be able to handle just any adult handles in their life. not every day is going to be perfect day, bad & good things happen to everybody every day. but with your stroke survivorship under your belt, you know you have that strength within you to get through whatever comes your way in life. Asha

yesterday we celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary. I still remember how I felt awkward & scared on our wedding day since I had just met my hubby 2 times before saying yes to marriage. we both said yes with leap of faith based on our parents decision. for me at that time only two things were important that he has to be more educated than me & has to be self-made man & not dependent on his parents for any of his financial needs. & from things I learnt from my parents he met those criterias. so off we started our married life together with huge leap of faith. Looking back I realized we have been lot together in last 20 years & our love & respect has grown for each other during this time. As in any relationship we have gone through our ups & downs but it has brought us closer & happier together. Its great that with all our experiences together we are learning great deal about each other even after 20 years, I am still learning things about him. I just pray & wish that our relationship gets better like old wine. thought would share my blessings with you since when I share my blessings with all of you, my joy doubles. so ofcourse I am greedy want more joy in my life. Asha

Christian: I am glad you are back to living life again without those hustles & bustles of therapy. staying in your own home will feel bit scary at first, but more you do, you will find way to compensate & please read my comment to your previous blog. Asha

Christian: bad & good things happens with everyone, and as a human none of us are spared from it, but realizing your attitude towards circumstances will define your life. pity parties are part of post stroke journey but realizing its just negative thoughts & that can't rule on your life. Stroke already took lot from your life, so don't allow it to take more from your life. For me when I am feeling down focusing on things which I am still greatful for gets me out of my funk mood. For me I stroked at age 34 which left me paralysed on my left side & retired me from the job I loved. first few years were the hardest, but realizing how it affected my family who I loved the most I decided to pick up pieces of my life & go on. In my 7 year post stroke journey I realized happiness is a choice & some days are harder than others but atleast you have control over that choice. yes life is unfair sometimes & we don't have control over lot of things in life, but you defintely have control over how you will react to situation is your choice. So choose wisely & choose happiness. for me blogging & chatting with other survivors turned out to be very therupetic. It made me feel less alone in my journey. BTW having routine in life helps a lot. & yes its frustrating to not able to use both of your hands, but your hands are not you, there is more to you than just hands. having 2 hand is good, but I know you can still achieve almost everything with one hand. I know this since I have been doing it for past 7 years. In the begining it used to frustrate me not able to use both hands, & now I am proud to be able to accomplish almost everything with just one hand & right attitude. hope you are feeling better today. hugs, Asha

Lydia: you have been sorely missed in our chats & in our blogworld. you are in my thoughts & prayers for this eye problem to get under control so that you start enjoying things you like to do. BTW in the meantime think about books on tape to keep you busy & content in NOW. hugs, Asha

Karen: thanks for updating us & we will take whatever format you are able to write in. You & Bill are in my thoughts & prayers. Asha

Katrina: accidents happens & they are part of driving, thats why we buy car insurance. accidents happens to everybody even able bodied people. It is great that you are not hurt, that's most important part. material things can be & will be fixed. so don't worry about it, let insurance company take care of this. BTW you write like novel. I have to reread to understand the plot lol. I guess I will blame it on my damaged brain lol. Asha

once a scientist always scientist or should I say nerd:) I feel anything you can do with your affected body part is good therapy. Asha

Christine: it does not matter what doctor say or others say about your left hand. whether you get your hand back or not you are still you & your worth as a human being does not depend whether you can use your left hand or not. I did the same mistake & spent valuble time crying & feel depressed. as long as you accomplish all needs to be done with 2 hands with 1 hand, life can be still good. yes you achieve things differently but who to say being different is bad thing. I guess thats part of acceptance journey, but sooner you accept your present the way it is better it will be for your own state of mind. I wasted first 2 years crying about my left hand but after realizing how it affected my loved ones, changed my attitude completely. now I know happiness is a choice. I am glad you are considering going back to your social work. I strongly believe out of adversity something good always comes out & your new friend sounds like that.BTW first few years are hardest when you are so used to doing things 2 handedly & you have to use 1 hand, its quite frustrating & annoying. I know I have cursed those boxes many times, but as time goes on, it will become easier & you will stop missing your hand. Just want t assure you there is still great life post stroke, & you have to give that chance to you. you are worth it & deserve that chance. Asha

hi shireley: thanks for updating us about your life. I was wondering about you, I am glad you are going through driver eval program. I am sure by the time you go for your test. you will be pro in spinner knob. best of luck for your quilt & your exam. please let us know results of both activity. Asha