HostAsha

Tracy :

that is tough news though I know two family members who are going through lung cancer treatments & giving brave fight & doing amazing recovry both of them had signed up for some research program where chemo treatment is not as harsh & one can still have qualty of life with the treatments, both of them I meet at various functions & seems to be doing great. I will keep your dad in my prayers, Also oinstead of getting all tensed about it, try doing research & you may find some good alternative treatment for him.

Asha

Sue:

I see big shifts in your blogs, you are more flowing with life than trying to control it & then feel unhappy about it.

Asha

hi :

I am glad you are recognizing bad choices you are making. I am true believer in our thoughts & choices we make in life creates our destiny & I believe happiness is a choice

we are responsible for our own life & I know its hard to do but whatever choice you are making in current situation just remind yourself that are you are okay with consequences of those choices, poor choices leads to poor quality of life & if you are ok with results of those choices then go ahead make those choices without feeling bad about it. This is what I have learnt from my own life experiences. Would like to know your name, cause I  you are somebody not nobody. "as long as we re alive there is more right in us than wrong. like I told you before for me having routine in life helped & that included doing my exercise.

Asha

Tracy :

All strokes are so different & being stroke survivor still I can't fully comprehend why you feel certain way about certain things, hope I did not offend you by my honest opinions about certain things. you are strong woman.

Asha

Tracy :

don't let small things bothher you, its all small stuff, in big scheme of things having bird poop on car & car getting dirty does it matter, as long as car drives well thats what matters. Don't feel badly about it,  be grateful for whatever help they are doing based on their circumstances. If someone is helping we can't expect more, just have to be thankful that we still have people in our life who cares about us.

Asha

Tracy:

I am glad you had informative enlightening seminar. all these statistics & cures doesn't mean much to me, I used to get upset initially they could have done something to reverse damage of the a stroke, now this is my life & I need to learn how to play cards dealt to me with maximum joy so that people sharing journey  with me not regret having me around is my motto.

everybody is different & we all deal life differently.

Asha

Pam :

Its so hard to find one doctor who will take in-charge of a patient & make sure all meds r prescribed correctly & not causing other side effects. I hate doctors here, every doctor will prescribe medicines to treat what is ailing patient according to their speciality with no regards  to side effects or bad interaction with other meds can cause. you some time feel like lab rat. Though you will find one good doctor out of 100s you have been seeing. persistence & patience is a key in all these matters. I pray for good solution for you soon. I know its so hard t walk on when I have that tingling sensation in my feet.

Asha

Tracy :

your yard looks looks so beautiful with that red mulch. yard work is hard work I can't do so that is assigned job of hubby, I try to do what I can do inside home.

beingnobody:

I remember how I felt right after my stroke  for first 9 months, I did not see reason to get out of bed if I am not supposed to go to work, & do things at home, since hubby hired full time help at our home to take care of our young child, & that added more to my depression I felt I got replaced by paid nanny, my recovery started once I started driving only local, & found this support group & got rid of help & started taking care of things at home, which included preparing lunchbox for our son so getting up early & once I started having routine in my life, my whole outlook on life changed, so I realized happiness is a choice. & I choose happiness over all negative thoughts.

Asha

hi there :

would like to know your first name, I believe biggest part of stroke recovery in physical & mental is  to start doing  small steps in this stroke marathon.  1st step to start having routine in life, it  does not matter getting up for your tv show & having breakfast while having it,  wake up on certain time & go to bed on certain time, add our afternoon chat also on your calendar.

2. make sure to do 30 mins of exercise, be it  is walking, cycling anything you can do. it will add up making you feel good about life in general.

3. try to learn something new

4. join support group, I have found blogging here & chatting with other survivors very therapeutic for my soul. We do have scheduled chats here every day afternoon from 3-4EST & evening 8-9EST M,W & F. On Fridays our chats are usually in coffeeshop

5. for me reading spiritual books opens up my world for example I loved when bad things happens to good people , heros journey by joseph campbell. here's wikipedia link which explains bit about whats heros journey. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hero's_journey

hope to see you around often. I have seen in my own life finding this site was my biggest blessing in life, it made me feel less alone in my post stroke journey. I always found my inner strength from reading others blogs & their heroic journey back.

Asha

hey Pam :

I was listening to oprah's super soul sunday today where Elizabeth Gilbert was talking about Heros journey, It is journey where we are so scared of future & everything, still rise up to challenge & make best out of the day that is given to us. like Gilbert & Oprah was saying don't waste pain in our suffering, It is trying to teach us some valuable lessons of life which makes us wiser & stronger. If we don't learn valuable lessons from our suffering it's all gone to waste.

Asha

Jay :

to be able to laugh on ourselves is great tool for happy life & home.

Asha

Thank you all of you, I had  to write down my worries to get wonderful support from  you guys, when sometime I feel so shaky, when he does his own way & not listen to me. but back in my  mind I know he will be fine, but as a parent I worry & pray for him.

Asha

Pam :

when I say being kind & nice to other, sometimes just saying thank you and appreciating some one did something special for us & went out of their way is good enough. I guess thats my personality, I feel loved when I get appreciated by others that's my love language, some people show their appreciation or love by act of service. I feel validated about my job or work when someone appreciates me & says, thank you  that makes me feel good.

Asha

Thank you so much tracy & Sue , I was getting worried about him, & sometime blame  him, instead of showing empathy for his shortcomings I was getting mad at me, not very nice thing to do as a parent I was failing to show my own child unconditional love. Now willl be more csreful & treat him with tender gloves.

Asha

Pam :

I so understand your plight. It has to be so  difficult when you are dependent on others  for our basic needs, if one asks for his or her rights than they are bossy & if one doesn't then they don't get their rightful services. you did not ask for this, but this are cards you are dealt with, how about asking for things nicely & appreciating all the work those nurses are doing for every one in the facility. It is not easy being caregiver & who knows their personal life, every one is going through some troubles in their life, so being kind to people also gets the job done. Personally when I work at home or in office if people are nice to me, I won't mind going extra mile for these people, so being kind to others will help too. at home also if hubby says u need to do certain things this way, then I m  like "ok u think u can do better than go ahead & do it

Asha

Jay :

congratulations, will check it out.I am glad you are having so much fun in doing what you love to do.

Asha

George :

wow amazing trip, I have never done motorhome traveling, can you take me along, If you can't then keep on posting your travel blogs along with pictures. life seems good when you are having fun. I was feeling bit down earlier, your blog lifted my spirits.

have lots of fun

Asha

OMG sarah such a beautiful gift on mothers day, now I feel my story of mothers day quite lame lol.  your  Dan & you guys as a parent made huge difference in someones life even when going through your own grief.

Asha

Tracy :

I  just wondered have you hired disability insurance lawyer who can fight on your behalf & get your SSDI approved, I have heard from people having those lawyers did help them in getting those benefits, ye there might be some flat fee but at-least you get your benefits. I am sorry you are encountering some setbacks in life, but just dust themselves off you are strong woman can get through this challenge too

Asha

Sue :

I so know change is very hard like being in wheelchair at 34 or need to use cane now due to meniscus tear, but remember this is card we are dealt with & have to play hand we r given to best of our ability, so right now you have to wear compression socks, but you can still walk dont worry about what others think no one has time to think about others but themselves. people can say & whisper things, we have to do what is right for us. I know it feels like death of how we viewed ourselves growing old, so grieving for it is normal, like everything else in our life change happens in our life whether we like it or resist it, but what I have noticed when I go with flow without resistance life feels like joy than punishment.

Asha

kelli :

In Bhagvad Gita (Indian spritual book), it teaches us we have to do our duties whatever role (Mom,wife,daughter,girlfriend)we are playing in life without any expectation or  attachment to results, just believe in doing right things, & believe God will make sure good things will happen in our life, I know I struggled lot after my stroke when it forced me to retire from the job & made me stay at home mom I realized I feel my self woth if I get appreciated for my work & being wife & mother is kinda thankless job, Only time gets gets pointed out to you when something  did not go right. I had my AHA moment  when I expressed my feelings of not feeling appreciated  by family members  for hard work I was putting in raising our son. our friend  told us, "do whatever you are doing as your offering to God without any thanks in return, your thank you will come when you see your children on right path & doing right things in life. I used to worry about  results before now I have realized as long as I do my job with good intention behind it, things will work out based on Gods plan for his life. & We all are here to learn & grow from this human experience.  Anyway in short do right things for your son & don't worry about how hetakes it or don't appreciate you.

Asha

Pam :

I know acceptance is not easy, but once you make peace with it,  & start playing cards you are dealt with best of your abilities, life becomes very enjoyable.

Asha

Nancy :

I feel taking him to work & giving him simple jobs to do is brilliant idea, I know volunteering at work worked brilliantly for me. It makes you feel great for many reasons, 1. people appreciating your work makes one feel useful in life, helps rebuild your self esteem which hits rock bottom after job loss & you feel worthless. So let Dan keep coming to your work place, your boss might find something useful for him to do at work. & one more thing interacting with people smarter than you makes survivor also learn new things which r all great positives.

Asha

Sarah :

you are one strong woman & caregiver, taking care of severely disabled person is not easy,   when person is suffering they are not very happy or grateful person  to be around.  wish you lot of blessings in life

Asha

Tracy :

Since I don't have vertigo issues like you & kelli have, I can't even imagine what are your daily struggles. No two strokes are alike , so r symptoms or recovery. All we can do is play cards we are dealt with best of our ability, So I am sorry if I can't give better support I can only give you virtual hugs & spiritual pep talk. BTW I understand why you visited Adrian, but I think its time to move on & start building your new life, you never know  something will better come out of this new window of opportunity, no need to go backward, its time march on forward with new you" best is yet to come"

Asha