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Leah: :congrats: on your 5 year anniversary. I truly believe you survived for a reason & not as punishment. Its always good to see how far we have come then how much we lost. I have realized that if you keep tab on your thoughts you can control your happiness. Asha

hey Lynn: happy Anniversary. June 2nd is special day at our house too we celebrated hubby's Birthday on that day too. I am glad your tooth held on till you enjoy your dinner & hopefully teeth will get fixed. 39 years together is great milestone. Asha

Katrina: I was so overjoyed reading your this blog. you are growing up nicely. I feel the same way about my hand. we can't wait to be happy & do things we love to do when our hand decides to come back. life & time does not stop for anyone. So have to start enjoying & living life to fullest with whatever deficits you have right now. I was depressed & sad for first 2 years till I realized how it affected our son & my hubby who has chose to ride in this rollercoaster ride with me. I realized that's disservice to people I love the most, so I decided to go on with this life's journey with happy outlook. I feel happiness is a choice & I m glad I made that choice few years. our life is so much richer due to that choice, yes my left hand still does not work, but I have had countless wonderful moments with my family that my left hand does not matter as much. I am glad I am able to do so many things with just 1 hand. Asha

Sue: I am so sorry to hear that you ar again going through this difficult time in your life, one sometimes wonder why you or any of us. I pray for strength & lot of help to get through this new hurdle in your life. I am Sure Ray might be very unhappy about this too. you both are in my thoughts and prayers for speedy recovery & good workable solution. Asha

right after my stroke I struggled for long time thinking why did I survive this seeming horrible tragedy like stroke in my life. I was trying to find what's purpose of my life. Finally I got great comforting answer for my question from Dalai lama by reading his book. he simply says & I quote I believe that very purpose of our life is to seek happiness. That is clear. Whether one believes in religion or not, whether one believes in this religion or that religion, we all are seeking something better in life. So I think, the very motion of our life is towards happiness. after reading this I feel we can all train our mind to find happiness in our daily life. I know I am learning to train my thoughts towards positive aspects of my life. by watching my thoughts I am able to enjoy life to fullest. Sometimes when something starts frustrating me I realize its not the situation, but thoughts which are portraying those situation as hopeless is what making me unhappy & not the situation itself. Just that shift in thought itself makes things more clear. With those things clear I am happy that all of us are enjoying & doing what we all like to do in our free time, like kido is out to play with his friends, hubby is out on hammock with his newspapers & me enjoying my me time blogging after our fulfilling lunch. Asha

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Lydia: retirement is big step, & I am happy you are doing it on your term. I am pretty sure you will do well in your retirement since you have other things planned in your retirement. I felt quite at loss after my retirement since I wasn't ready. I never knew I had my so much selfworth was associated with what I did prestroke & how much money I made. I learnt hard way some tough lessons. but after struggling for couple of years I have found my new normal & enjoying my life of retirement to fullest. you have paid your dues in society, now enjoy the life. Asha

Kelly: I am so happy for you that you had heart to heart talk with your husband. at our house I am the touchy feely person, hubby believes in showing his love through his actions & not words. It took me almost 20 years & stroke to understand how much he loves me. I hope you find way to involve your older son back in your life. Asha

Ruth: I am so glad it was just a mistake but better learn from our mistakes, its better to keep windows rolled down & take keys with you than give opportunity to someone to steal the car, but I agree he will return William & car back after few days of caregiving lol glad you all are safe. Sometimes when kido does not want to come inside the store & want his radio on, we lock the car & go finish our errand in the store, but ofcourse have done it very rarely & drag his behind in the store. Asha

Sue: I am so sorry to hear this new hurdle in you & Ray's life. you both are in my thoughts and prayers. I understand that accidents can happen to anyone & anytime. I wish & pray for your strength & courage to get through this new challenge in your life. please update us when you can. hugs, Asha

hey Julie: I am surprised to read about your hubby's noncooperation & lack of motivation. is he on any antidepressants? after my stroke n the morning I used to feel like why get up since I don't have any place to go to anyways, and had inhome help. Once I felt better & decided to take over duties of our household, I felt much better about myself & my life. having routine in life helps big time. Asha

Daf: what I learnt from my stroke journey is that nobody else cares about how you are doing except your wife & son, so don't worry about what others think & say since no one else does so why waste your energy & happiness about thinking what others think. few things helped me deal with new reality sooner than later. 1. blogging & chatting with other survivors helped me deal with new me. 2. writing 5 things I am greatful for in my gratitude journal 3. focusing on what I can still do 4. reading lot of spiritual books also helped. things will get better Daf give a time, things has to improve & change for good. I believe you survived for a reason & not as a punishment. so enjoy this second chance to fullest. Asha

Lydia: :congrats: I am so happy for you. I agree with you 100% on all accounts. one should celebrate every small change, its good when you notice improvement, its so easy to take it for granted & not celebrate all achievements. all these gains add up togreat post stroke life. I believe in goodness of God, & believe 100% when god closes door he does open up small window, but we waste time by looking at closed door & not look at the window. I also believe life can be still great post stroke its just little different than before. We don't have to be afraid of change, change does not mean bad it just means bit different. I know you will do great in this post stroke life since you have great attitude towards life. Asha

Ruth: I think william needs some extracurricular activity which can give him pleasure without lot of efforts like reading book, playing on computer or indoor gardening, something he will enjoy & will keep him busy while you are away at work. I think you working outside is best therapy for you too, or you will get burnt with 24X7 caregiving.Maybe encourage william to have routine for his weekdays so that it keeps him busy. because of my routine I look forward to my exercise days & chores too. Asha

Jeannie: I was so happy to read your blog. I am glad you are feeling so good & someone once told me there are 3 side of personality to every body, physical,emotional & spiritual personality. I am glad you are falling in love carl's spritual side. I also feel same way about my husband. Asha

Fred: your blog always uplifts me, you write from your heart, and I love message of God & hope in your blog. when you trust in goodness of God life does become easier, I am glad that God is in control of my life, so I don't have to worry about anything just do your duties & Gd will take care of rest. Asha

Katrina: only dead people can be inspiration to everyone 24X7. you are human being with emotions, so can't be inspiration to everybody 24X7. you are allowed to have down day, and just because you asked for help does not make you slacker. even healthy human being also needs help, so asking for help does not make you weak person. you are inspiration to lot of people with so much you have achieved even after stroke. you persisted even after such a uphill battle & that's major achievement. So enjoy the journey katrina without added pressure of being person to look upto. be yourself. you are great the way you are. Asha

hey Tammy: welcome back. I love blogging since it has allowed me to love newme. As I go on this life's journey I realized I am still me just little different on how I achieve certain things, that does not mean I m less of a person anymore. so life is still great just little different. acceptance is biggest struggle for all of us accepting who you have become. Asha

hey oldman: welcome to our wonderful world of blogging. I have found blogging very therupetic for me. sharing my joys & sorrows with others have made me appreciate good things in my life & also get support of my friends here who understand what I am going through. Stroke affects whole family & I feel dealing with affects of stroke is not for sissies. now I understand fully what does not kill you does make you stronger. Asha

Lydia: reading your blog made me realize I was so not type A personality pre stroke so flowing with life has become much easier for me post stroke, but then I feel sometimes people take advantage of my niceness don't want to argue with kido about things. though luckily hubby got good debating skillls so kido don't have any chance. Asha

Orianna: thanks for sharing your tv interview with us, now I can imagine your face with your blog. hey don't forget to send me more info on reserach at NJIT for hand the one you are participating in. so that I can sign up for it too & get benifit too. Thanks, Asha

hey Ruth: I am glad William was not hurt just hurt his confidence well that could be rebuild by practicing how to get up from floor from PT. falling is part of growing up after stroke. Asha

Jeannie: thanks for update on your life. It feels like you guys have found great community. volunteering is great thing to do. I feel you receive more than you give when you are volunteering at the temple or church. Asha

Finally got chance to sit with my feet up after small party & I am thinking is this what acceptance feels like. I still remember right after my stroke for first few years every time when I wanted to use my left hand & I wasn't able to use it the way I always did for past 34 years, it used to frustrate me,make me depressed, sad about how I was such a useless person or not normal person since I can't use my left hand anymore. now after 7 years in my post stroke life's journey I have adapted to doing things around the house single handedly. agreed it takes me longer time, but important thing is that things get done and our home life runs smoothly. Yes sometimes hubby has to help me in some things, but he always helped before too, so its not a major issue at our house. Though what I notice that now it doesn't bother me at all not having left hand. so I wonder is that how acceptance feels like. if it is. I love it.I don't feel pity for me or anything, I am actually proud of our family & myself the way we handled this adversity in life & came out stronger than ever before. Asha

Lydia: wow that is so sweet. during your bad day just remember this that even though lot of things are not right in your life, but giving you this wonderful hubby in your life's journey is best thing god has done for you. hugs, Asha