mrsamymichelle

since i have blogged. I have been battling post stroke pain and trying new meds. Some days i think i am getting worse! I know i have been depressed. 2nd grade and my daughter is keeping me very busy! I have tutored at the local school and i swear i have caught all of the virus' and germs. Anyway... just was reading up and checking up on the SN bloggers. Cheers- ~Amy

June 20th my family (husband, daughter and myself) went to the Bahama's (South Andros) to visit some of my family. WE had a wonderful time, and I experienced things that i thought i would never be able to experience being a survivor. I went snorkleing on the coral reef. I could do it!!! Now, I did snorkle holding onto a flotation device, but the things i saw while snorkling were amazing! Fish of every color, sea fans, coral, blue holes,yes...a shark! I did have fatigue while on vacation, but it was managable. I hope next summer we might get to revisit South Andros. I have the fever to visit Bimini island and Great Exuma!!!!!!! I want to explore the world some more. I have a travel bug! Who wants to come along?? p.s. My baby turned 7 yesterday!!!(bittersweet) ~Amy

I'm just home from the Evanescence concert. It was fabulous and I was very nervous about driving and parking, and keeping up with my daughter... who went with me. WE did fine. WE arrived plenty early enough to give ourselves plenty of time to park, potty, and find our seats. I really love this band. The bands songs gave me great strength to me after my stroke, and it was a very emotional concert for me. Yes, I cried happy tears at it. That is just how I do at concerts.... pre-stroke I went to see Ozzy Osbourne twice and..yup, I cried at his too. I have always gotten emotional at concerts.(??????) I guess it is just the way I roll. ~Amy

Today I ordered some raw coffee beans to try roasting myself :big_grin: . I plan on using the oven and it will be an experience, and smoky I'm told.... I'm excited about trying it. I'm in search of the perfect cup of coffee. I didn't become much of a coffee drinker until after my stroke-I use to make a noon pot of coffee just to stay awake until 8:00 p.m. Now I only make a half pot of coffee in the a.m. My daughter and I have a big weekend this weekend. The end of school today will start her spring break and Sunday we are going to the Evanescence concert. :cheer: I love Amy Lee!! Native Arkansan too. That reminds me I need to get ear plugs for us tomorrow.

I have started, AHEM, "started" to try to jog some when I walk. The walking path is divided into 1/10 of a mile marks, and I walk one then I TRY to jog one. It is hard, I have to stop when my foot starts to drop, but today I have noticed my jog stride is getting longer and my left leg is getting stronger. I started out jogging holding onto my hubby's arm. Then I tried it by myself with tiny tiny steps(It was oh-so-scary). I am trying to focus on putting my weak foot down heel toe, heel toe, b/c right now I do not do that. I have started chasing a hair color bottle again. UGh, I told myself I was going to grow old gracefully, Ha,Ha,Ha!! Today out in the sun I noticed all my grays. I had my hair in a ponytail and all the gray were too short to put in a pony tail, so they were standing up crazy looking. I ran to Wal-Mart and picked up two bottles of #72 Revlon-came home and slapped it on. I am naturally a redhead, but over the years my hair has turned brown auburn. Now my hair is glowing like a new penny :blush: . I need to get my face in the sun to pop my freckles out on my face....maybe I can tomorrow ..the forecast says it will be 70 degrees and partly cloudy. Hopefully not too cloudy for freckle popping. ~Amy

The doctor's office called and everything looked great. I'm so releived. Why do I do this to myself? I make myself age years, in just days from worrying. Also I have a bad habit of trying to read the echo techs body language when doing the test. Then I go home and replay the body language and wonder what it "might have meant." Does anyone else do this, or is it me and my mental disorders?? ~Amy

Well, I really didn't find anything out except "You seem to be doing well" and I have gained weight (I already knew that :blush: ) They went ahead and did an echocardiogram-I'll find out in a few days...) I did however come to think....you know I could do open heart surgery again if need be. I don't know the life of my valve repair but one day it may have to be re-repaired. It is just a releif to have the appointment over, and hopefully not another one for a while. After my appt I called hubby-he was about to leave for his lunch break and I was in the town he worked in so we met at Subway and had a sandwhich together-that was nice! Time to go pick up my baby from school. ~Amy

Yes, I am scared, I am about to go see my cardiologist and hopefully get a good check up. I have no symptoms-(shortness of breath) but my fear is that they will hear something "funny." This also is the first time I am going solo without my hubby with me. I know I can do this-I'm just nervous. I have already gotten sick to my stomach from my nerves. My inpatient rehab gym is in the same building as my cardiologist and the smell of the building brings me PTSD. I like to pretend I guess my stroke was a big nightmare. Denial??? I don't know. I'm a big girl, I can do this... ~Amy I'll check back in later!

Congrats!! I was very excited when I finally got my wheels back. Nothing can beat the independence of being able to "go and do" when you want.....sounds like a nice car too. :Clap-Hands: :cheer: ~Amy :Clap-Hands:

Last week, we buried my grandfather. I now have one grandparent left. I guess I thought things would always stay "the same". What happens when my parents are gone too?? I will no longer have someone to go "visit" and no need to go back to my childhood town. I do not enjoy going back now, but knowing that one day I will not need to go back-makes me sad. I did not recognize my grandfather at the visitation and I had gone to visit him a week b4 his death. I wouldn't have been able to pick him out, out of a casket line up. He was probably under 100 pounds, he died just like Terri Shavio, it was a hard thing to watch, but I am glad it is over now. Nothing really to blog, this is just what has been on my mind. ~Amy

My hubby has helped me get to the point where I am not wearing makeup daily and it feels so liberating, what are women hiding behind that stuff anyway? It feels so good to be able to wipe/rub an eye without "oh I may smear my makeup" There was a time in my life where I wouldn't go to the grocery store without a full face of make-up on. It's still nice to wear make up occasionally, but it is also nice to be able to feel great without it.

Tomorrow I tread into the unknown waters of selling G.S. cookies, we have a parent troop meeting and will be getting all of the cookie information. I despise fundraisers, but we will try this one year and if isn't too much of a headache.. we may participate next year. Hubby has been on vacation this week and has been doing one house project after the other. Our garage lanterns have been broken for some time and he bought new and replaced them this morning, and repainted our LR (I picked out the color of course and supervised the work) I picked out a light yellow color...Looks great!!! All of this was done without any hints or nudging from "old wifey"

Okay, so I tried to not need them, but I have came to realize I do need the help of science with antidepressants. Now...the hunt begins, which one will work with minimal side effects and covered by my Rx insurance?? I prefer to go back to a shrink for this instead of my PCP. I was off of them for about 3 years, but my mood swings are starting to affect my personal life so back on I will go..... ~Amy

I called my cardiologist today to see when my next appointment would be. Yes, that is a fear of mine-going to the Cardiologist. I have been waiting to get an appointment card in the mail from him, and hadn't. Last week when I was chatting with my PCP, he asked when I go back to see him. I told him I didn't know. So my PCP asked me to call him to see when my next appointment will be. I called today, and he had no notes written down on when I come back-so I left a voicemail for his nurse. Maybe I will have graduated from yearly to every 5 or something great like that?? I don't know, except for when I think about going to the cardiologist I get extreme anxiety. I asked my PCP if he heard a "Murmur" or anything and my PCP said "No." But my PCP also knows that I can freak out good-maybe he just didn't want me to freak??? My worst fear is the valve I had repaired will deteriorate and I will have to under go open heart surgery again, or the angioplasty band around my valve will "slip off", or my sewn cleft mitral valve will unthread itself. Okay-so maybe I need to self medicate??? Looking around room-Where's my purse??? ~Amy

Good luck on your doctor's appointments! Whew, I'd be zapped after 4 in one day. ~Amy

The delivery ppl delivered our new dryer today. Our old one bit the dust Saturday. I must admit, I had given up hope it would die. It had been fixed and refixed and this time it broke and we didn't want to try to fix it. WE booted it out the door and replaced him. My new one isn't anything fancy, but the dials all work and that is fancy to me!! Did I mention how quiet it is? Or is it that I don't have 5 pairs of little girl jeans clinging and clanging in there?? It came with this attachment that is new to me -never heard of it- a drying rack. You can put shoes or anything that says"no tumble dry" on it. It's crazy how long have these been around?? Maybe I've just been in the dark for so long on dryer advancements?? WOO HOO, no more laundry mat for me until next time, although I liked the fact that I was able to get multiple loads of laundry all done in the time it took to do one load of laundry. I also liked being around "people" although I didn't know anybody. I didn't like feeling vulnerable with my undies out and shining. I didn't fold them though until I got home. Hopefully this dryer will last us 10 years, until our daughter is 16, wow, that's a thought! ~Amy

I haven't thought of that!!! Were you left handed b4 stroke, also? ~Amy

Today as I was peeling potatoes for our soup tonight, I challenged myself to try, one time to put the potato peeler in my left hand, and swipe the potato with it. The evil Amy said,"You can't silly you had a stroke, don't try..." My challenge was only one time, after I realized I needed to readjust my thumb to steady my hand, My left hand got carried away, I must admit, my tongue was probably sticking out I was concentrating so hard, and potato peelings were landing on the floor and who knows where else.. I was just so happy to be "sloppy peeling" the poatoes left handed. At the last potato it did seem to get easier or I was telling myself that since I was on the last potato?? I skipped to the phone and called hubby...."GUESS WHAT I JUST DID???????" I was like a little kid who just learned how to ride a bike. Now, I must challenge myself to do something every day I don't normally do with my left hand-I just started using it when I talk again.*big grin* That OT session was free!! I need to do this more often. Who wants some potato soup? ~:)Amy

Today as I was peeling potatoes for our soup tonight, I challenged myself to try, one time to put the potato peeler in my left hand, and swipe the potato with it. The evil Amy said,"You can't silly you had a stroke, don't try..." My challenge was only one time, after I realized I needed to readjust my thumb to steady my hand, My left hand got carried away, I must admit, my tongue was probably sticking out I was concentrating so hard, and potato peelings were landing on the floor and who knows where else.. I was just so happy to be "sloppy peeling" the poatoes left handed. At the last potato it did seem to get easier or I was telling myself that since I was on the last potato?? I skipped to the phone and called hubby...."GUESS WHAT I JUST DID???????" I was like a little kid who just learned how to ride a bike. Now, I must challenge myself to do something every day I don't normally do with my left hand-I just started using it when I talk again.*big grin* That OT session was free!! I need to do this more often. Who wants some potato soup? ~:)Amy

Mouth open...what a great first blog!! You express yourself very well. ~Amy

Every day, I drive to pick my daughter up from school, and wait in the car line of other parents. I usually throw my car into park, and do my favorite pastime: people watch (not in the stalker kind of way) just observing other ppl in one activity of their day too. Today, I saw, and see many times... (and guilty of)....this one parent was trying to backout of a tight parking lot, she was creeping very slow not to hit another car, but alas, here comes the handy pedestrian stranger, who acts as parking lot director and motions her to inch back a little bit more. Why do we trust these strangers, that we will not hit another car??? oH, maybe you guys don't??? Today I was imagining-then started to laugh-if one day, someone kept motioning to back up a little bit more, until it bumped another car. That would be so funny!!!! I can't imagine shock and horrified look of the trusting driver. Thinking of driving.. my ADD brain is going another direction. I am driving my late Grandma's car. I love it, but after I adjusted the height of the seat belt, I have been catching a whiff of her smell. The last time I smelled her, I was giving her a hug on her 90th birthday. There is a certain spot on her seatbelt that must have captured her perfume, because I smell Grandma on it. It's a bitter sweet extra that came with the car :big_grin: ~Amy

Bill- Yes, 10 pounds is a lot. Still have some in the fridge if you want some. I'm throwing them out tomorow- well I am running them down the disposal.

Yes, here it is the day after Thanksgiving and my daughter and I have done some "Spring Cleaning" The temp reached mid 70's today, so we had the windows open and found ourselves in a toy tossing mood- we shed toys out of her playroom, we gave some away on freecycle, and threw away the not good enough to give away. We had a good Thanksgiving at my parents-bought the car. WE are looking for the cars radio code, can't find it and the radio will not work until the code is entered. It looks like hubby will have to take the radio out to get the VIN # on the radio to get the radio code. It is a big hassle but nothing that can't be fixed. Before Thanksgiving. I peeled 10 pounds of potatoes. This is something new post stroke. My stroke hand held the potato while my good hand used the potato peeler. It was a slow process, but I did it!! All by myself!! It created lots of tone in my stroke hand, but it was worth it. The only bad thing is my hubby knows I can really peel potatoes :blush: ~Amy