mrsamymichelle

Stroke Survivor - male
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    382

  • Joined

  • Last visited

 Content Type 

Blog Entries posted by mrsamymichelle

  1. mrsamymichelle
    since i have blogged. I have been battling post stroke pain and trying new meds. Some days i think i am getting worse! I know i have been depressed. 2nd grade and my daughter is keeping me very busy! I have tutored at the local school and i swear i have caught all of the virus' and germs. Anyway... just was reading up and checking up on the SN bloggers.
    Cheers-
    ~Amy
  2. mrsamymichelle
    June 20th my family (husband, daughter and myself) went to the Bahama's (South Andros) to visit some of my family. WE had a wonderful time, and I experienced things that i thought i would never be able to experience being a survivor. I went snorkleing on the coral reef. I could do it!!! Now, I did snorkle holding onto a flotation device, but the things i saw while snorkling were amazing! Fish of every color, sea fans, coral, blue holes,yes...a shark!
     
    I did have fatigue while on vacation, but it was managable.
     
    I hope next summer we might get to revisit South Andros. I have the fever to visit Bimini island and Great Exuma!!!!!!! I want to explore the world some more. I have a travel bug! Who wants to come along??
    p.s.
    My baby turned 7 yesterday!!!(bittersweet)
    ~Amy
  3. mrsamymichelle

    The concert

    By mrsamymichelle,

    I'm just home from the Evanescence concert. It was fabulous and I was very nervous about driving and parking, and keeping up with my daughter... who went with me. WE did fine. WE arrived plenty early enough to give ourselves plenty of time to park, potty, and find our seats. I really love this band. The bands songs gave me great strength to me after my stroke, and it was a very emotional concert for me. Yes, I cried happy tears at it. That is just how I do at concerts.... pre-stroke I went to see Ozzy Osbourne twice and..yup, I cried at his too. I have always gotten emotional at concerts.(??????) I guess it is just the way I roll.
    ~Amy
  4. mrsamymichelle
    Today I ordered some raw coffee beans to try roasting myself :big_grin: . I plan on using the oven and it will be an experience, and smoky I'm told....
     
    I'm excited about trying it. I'm in search of the perfect cup of coffee. I didn't become much of a coffee drinker until after my stroke-I use to make a noon pot of coffee just to stay awake until 8:00 p.m. Now I only make a half pot of coffee in the a.m.
     
    My daughter and I have a big weekend this weekend. The end of school today will start her spring break and Sunday we are going to the Evanescence concert. :cheer: I love Amy Lee!! Native Arkansan too. That reminds me I need to get ear plugs for us tomorrow.
  5. mrsamymichelle
    I have started, AHEM, "started" to try to jog some when I walk. The walking path is divided into 1/10 of a mile marks, and I walk one then I TRY to jog one. It is hard, I have to stop when my foot starts to drop, but today I have noticed my jog stride is getting longer and my left leg is getting stronger. I started out jogging holding onto my hubby's arm. Then I tried it by myself with tiny tiny steps(It was oh-so-scary). I am trying to focus on putting my weak foot down heel toe, heel toe, b/c right now I do not do that.
     
    I have started chasing a hair color bottle again. UGh, I told myself I was going to grow old gracefully, Ha,Ha,Ha!! Today out in the sun I noticed all my grays. I had my hair in a ponytail and all the gray were too short to put in a pony tail, so they were standing up crazy looking. I ran to Wal-Mart and picked up two bottles of #72 Revlon-came home and slapped it on. I am naturally a redhead, but over the years my hair has turned brown auburn. Now my hair is glowing like a new penny :blush: . I need to get my face in the sun to pop my freckles out on my face....maybe I can tomorrow ..the forecast says it will be 70 degrees and partly cloudy. Hopefully not too cloudy for freckle popping.
    ~Amy
  6. mrsamymichelle
    The doctor's office called and everything looked great. I'm so releived. Why do I do this to myself? I make myself age years, in just days from worrying. Also I have a bad habit of trying to read the echo techs body language when doing the test. Then I go home and replay the body language and wonder what it "might have meant." Does anyone else do this, or is it me and my mental disorders??
    ~Amy
  7. mrsamymichelle
    Yes, I am scared, I am about to go see my cardiologist and hopefully get a good check up. I have no symptoms-(shortness of breath) but my fear is that they will hear something "funny." This also is the first time I am going solo without my hubby with me. I know I can do this-I'm just nervous. I have already gotten sick to my stomach from my nerves. My inpatient rehab gym is in the same building as my cardiologist and the smell of the building brings me PTSD. I like to pretend I guess my stroke was a big nightmare. Denial??? I don't know.
    I'm a big girl, I can do this...
    ~Amy
    I'll check back in later!
  8. mrsamymichelle

    a feeling of loss

    By mrsamymichelle,

    Last week, we buried my grandfather. I now have one grandparent left. I guess I thought things would always stay "the same". What happens when my parents are gone too?? I will no longer have someone to go "visit" and no need to go back to my childhood town. I do not enjoy going back now, but knowing that one day I will not need to go back-makes me sad.
     
    I did not recognize my grandfather at the visitation and I had gone to visit him a week b4 his death. I wouldn't have been able to pick him out, out of a casket line up. He was probably under 100 pounds, he died just like Terri Shavio, it was a hard thing to watch, but I am glad it is over now.
    Nothing really to blog, this is just what has been on my mind.
    ~Amy
  9. mrsamymichelle
    My hubby has helped me get to the point where I am not wearing makeup daily and it feels so liberating, what are women hiding behind that stuff anyway? It feels so good to be able to wipe/rub an eye without "oh I may smear my makeup"
    There was a time in my life where I wouldn't go to the grocery store without a full face of make-up on. It's still nice to wear make up occasionally, but it is also nice to be able to feel great without it.
  10. mrsamymichelle
    Tomorrow I tread into the unknown waters of selling G.S. cookies, we have a parent troop meeting and will be getting all of the cookie information. I despise fundraisers, but we will try this one year and if isn't too much of a headache.. we may participate next year.
     
    Hubby has been on vacation this week and has been doing one house project after the other. Our garage lanterns have been broken for some time and he bought new and replaced them this morning, and repainted our LR (I picked out the color of course and supervised the work) I picked out a light yellow color...Looks great!!!
    All of this was done without any hints or nudging from "old wifey"
  11. mrsamymichelle
    Okay, so I tried to not need them, but I have came to realize I do need the help of science with antidepressants. Now...the hunt begins, which one will work with minimal side effects and covered by my Rx insurance??
     
    I prefer to go back to a shrink for this instead of my PCP. I was off of them for about 3 years, but my mood swings are starting to affect my personal life so back on I will go.....
    ~Amy
  12. mrsamymichelle

    Facing my fears

    By mrsamymichelle,

    I called my cardiologist today to see when my next appointment would be. Yes, that is a fear of mine-going to the Cardiologist. I have been waiting to get an appointment card in the mail from him, and hadn't.
     
    Last week when I was chatting with my PCP, he asked when I go back to see him. I told him I didn't know. So my PCP asked me to call him to see when my next appointment will be.
     
    I called today, and he had no notes written down on when I come back-so I left a voicemail for his nurse.
     
    Maybe I will have graduated from yearly to every 5 or something great like that?? I don't know, except for when I think about going to the cardiologist I get extreme anxiety.
     
    I asked my PCP if he heard a "Murmur" or anything and my PCP said "No." But my PCP also knows that I can freak out good-maybe he just didn't want me to freak???
     
    My worst fear is the valve I had repaired will deteriorate and I will have to under go open heart surgery again, or the angioplasty band around my valve will "slip off", or my sewn cleft mitral valve will unthread itself.
     
    Okay-so maybe I need to self medicate???
     
    Looking around room-Where's my purse???
    ~Amy
  13. mrsamymichelle
    The delivery ppl delivered our new dryer today. Our old one bit the dust Saturday. I must admit, I had given up hope it would die. It had been fixed and refixed and this time it broke and we didn't want to try to fix it. WE booted it out the door and replaced him. My new one isn't anything fancy, but the dials all work and that is fancy to me!! Did I mention how quiet it is? Or is it that I don't have 5 pairs of little girl jeans clinging and clanging in there??
     
    It came with this attachment that is new to me -never heard of it- a drying rack. You can put shoes or anything that says"no tumble dry" on it. It's crazy how long have these been around?? Maybe I've just been in the dark for so long on dryer advancements??
     
    WOO HOO, no more laundry mat for me until next time, although I liked the fact that I was able to get multiple loads of laundry all done in the time it took to do one load of laundry. I also liked being around "people" although I didn't know anybody. I didn't like feeling vulnerable with my undies out and shining. I didn't fold them though until I got home.
     
    Hopefully this dryer will last us 10 years, until our daughter is 16, wow, that's a thought!
    ~Amy
  14. mrsamymichelle
    Today as I was peeling potatoes for our soup tonight, I challenged myself to try, one time to put the potato peeler in my left hand, and swipe the potato with it.
     
    The evil Amy said,"You can't silly you had a stroke, don't try..."
     
    My challenge was only one time, after I realized I needed to readjust my thumb to steady my hand, My left hand got carried away, I must admit, my tongue was probably sticking out I was concentrating so hard, and potato peelings were landing on the floor and who knows where else.. I was just so happy to be "sloppy peeling" the poatoes left handed. At the last potato it did seem to get easier or I was telling myself that since I was on the last potato?? I skipped to the phone and called hubby...."GUESS WHAT I JUST DID???????" I was like a little kid who just learned how to ride a bike.
     
    Now, I must challenge myself to do something every day I don't normally do with my left hand-I just started using it when I talk again.*big grin*
     
    That OT session was free!! I need to do this more often. Who wants some potato soup?
    ~:)Amy
  15. mrsamymichelle
    Today as I was peeling potatoes for our soup tonight, I challenged myself to try, one time to put the potato peeler in my left hand, and swipe the potato with it.
     
    The evil Amy said,"You can't silly you had a stroke, don't try..."
     
    My challenge was only one time, after I realized I needed to readjust my thumb to steady my hand, My left hand got carried away, I must admit, my tongue was probably sticking out I was concentrating so hard, and potato peelings were landing on the floor and who knows where else.. I was just so happy to be "sloppy peeling" the poatoes left handed. At the last potato it did seem to get easier or I was telling myself that since I was on the last potato?? I skipped to the phone and called hubby...."GUESS WHAT I JUST DID???????" I was like a little kid who just learned how to ride a bike.
     
    Now, I must challenge myself to do something every day I don't normally do with my left hand-I just started using it when I talk again.*big grin*
     
    That OT session was free!! I need to do this more often. Who wants some potato soup?
    ~:)Amy
  16. mrsamymichelle

    Spring cleaning??

    By mrsamymichelle,

    Yes, here it is the day after Thanksgiving and my daughter and I have done some "Spring Cleaning" The temp reached mid 70's today, so we had the windows open and found ourselves in a toy tossing mood- we shed toys out of her playroom, we gave some away on freecycle, and threw away the not good enough to give away.
     
    We had a good Thanksgiving at my parents-bought the car. WE are looking for the cars radio code, can't find it and the radio will not work until the code is entered. It looks like hubby will have to take the radio out to get the VIN # on the radio to get the radio code. It is a big hassle but nothing that can't be fixed.
     
    Before Thanksgiving. I peeled 10 pounds of potatoes. This is something new post stroke. My stroke hand held the potato while my good hand used the potato peeler. It was a slow process, but I did it!! All by myself!! It created lots of tone in my stroke hand, but it was worth it. The only bad thing is my hubby knows I can really peel potatoes :blush:
    ~Amy
  17. mrsamymichelle

    New "Used car"

    By mrsamymichelle,

    My Grandma that died left behind a used car. None of her kids wanted it, and my Dad asked me if I was interested in buying it. I talked it over with hubby and we have made the decision to buy it.
     
    1. It has 17,000 less miles than my car now
    2. It is only 1 year older than my current vehicle.
    3. It is the top of the line model, so it will be a step up from my car now.
    4. My parents are selling it for under the blue book value to us.
     
    So I am giving my car back to my hubby (he is commuting in his standard transmission) and is welcoming the idea of driving an automatic again.
     
    It is real exciting. I am not like my other friends who have a new car payment as big as their house payment.
     
    I am happy with a 10 y.o. car that will have no payment!!
     
    I am kinda excited that my Grandma's DNA will be in the car. Wouldn't that be bitter sweet if I found a white hair of hers in there??
     
    I am tickled pink to have automatic door locks!!!! :giggle:
    ~Amy
  18. mrsamymichelle

    Grandma died

    By mrsamymichelle,

    My lovely Grandma passed away Friday. I was able to make it down to "see her" in the hospital before she died and spent a day in her hospital room. She lived a very good life and lived to see 90 y.o., she didn't even live long enough to be 90 a month.
    The funeral is Tuesday. My daughter and I are leaving to go tomorrow. I am sad, just kind of numb to the fact she is gone.
     
    I was very close to her as a child, but as an adult I didn't see /visit with her as much as I would have liked( I got married, had a baby,she moved to an assisted living center) ...life just got busy.
     
    Since her death, I have really been thinking about death, after life or lack of.
     
    I didn't write this blog for sympathy, I just told Asha I would try to blog once a week, and this is my weekly blog:)
    ~Amy
  19. mrsamymichelle

    show cancelled

    By mrsamymichelle,

    The show cancelled(due to unforeseen circumstances), we showed up to an empty parking lot. So then all us 5 girl's went out to a country western bar/club , got a table and talked the night away. Some danced, but I sat and watched laughing.
     
    The country /western bar is really not my cup of tea, but it was nice to get out and "do something" I did get tired of all the depressing country songs. They played 3 songs that I liked, that were not country. Other ppl commented on how the DJ was not playing good songs like they usually do.
    I am not missing anything by being home on a Friday night with my family, in my "usual rut."
    ~Amy
  20. mrsamymichelle
    Okay, I have been wrapped up in this website Myspace. Anyone else have a page?? *blush* They have Stroke survivor groups on there, but nothing good like Strokenetwork.
     
    This blog has nothing to do with stroke.
     
    Tonight I am going with a group of friends to see the Chippendale's dance. I am more excited about the music, then seeing the dancing.
     
    I have lost excitement about losing weight. I still eat less, but I have stopped working out:( I should get myself back into it, b4 I gain the weight back.
     
    WE had our first Parent Teacher Conference and our daughter is doing wonderful. She is in speech Therapy at the school for disfluencies, and doing better.
     
    Our show doesn't start until 8:00p.m.tonight, my bedtime. I hope I can stay awake. Maybe I should go to Starbucks before.
    ~Amy
  23. mrsamymichelle
    Last night I awoke from a deep sleep hearing my name: "Mommy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" being screamed out by my 6 y.o. daughter. I made it to her room the fastest I could, talked to her about her nightmare, and told her to come to bed with Mommy and patted her bottom until she went back to sleep again.
     
    She dreamed I was a vampire:(. My hubby let her watch a scary vampire show on Sunday, and I didn't buck up enough as a parent and make him change it. WE have some friction with parenting when it comes to things he lets her watch on t.v.
     
    I usually am not the parent to wake up at night when she screams my name. Daddy is usually going to her rescue.
     
    My hubby was out of it b/c he took some allergy/sinus medicine.(he is very sensitive to meds.)The medicine also made him set his alarm clock wrong, so when I went to bed last night I looked at the clock and it said 5:15?? He set the real time to the time he was going to get up at, LOL. I am glad I caught it b/c he would of been late for work this morning.
     
    (Yes we have 2 different alarms... I use my cell phone as an alarm, and he uses the old fashioned alarm clock)
    ~Amy
  24. mrsamymichelle

    My fears

    By mrsamymichelle,

    Hello all, watching the 9-11 tribute for the 5 yr. anniversary has had me in tears for those ppl who lost loved ones, and it has also stirred up raw emotion in me. I have fears. I fear the death of my daughter and husband. I honestly don't know if I could do it by myself, I get so much strength from them. Then I play a video in my mind of being a widow who is "disabled" and how well I could survive on my little Disability check.
     
    Okay, I know I would put one foot in front of the other just like I did after my stroke, and have support from family and friends.
     
    Is it silly to have an outline in your mind on what you might do in a situation like that? I'd pay off our house and any other debt we might have then. Live more frugally than we are now. My hubby keeps all our books in our house since he is the best one for that job. I could always relearn.
     
    I shouldn't be concerned with something that hasn't happened, but the news has my brain going down that track with the 9-11 memorials.
     
    I can't worry about things out of my control. I think I will go to the grocery store and pick up something to make tonight for dinner. And I am not buying any comfort foods.(even though I want too:)
    ~Amy
  25. mrsamymichelle
    Earlier this week when I was driving my daughter to school she told me that last year in kindergarten she had to stand by the wall for throwing rocks at recess.
     
    I didn't know what to say. I guess the statue of limitations had expired from kindergarten days. I told her I hope to never hear of that again, b/c she knows what are good choices and what are bad choices.
     
    She has also been chosen to be the classroom's girl Ambassador!!! I am so proud, lol.
    First grade is going well, I haven't bonded with her teacher yet.. I guess it will take some time.
    ~Amy