mrsamymichelle

I have had one busy week and it isn't even Wednesday yet. My daughter is home sick with high, high fever, the flu is going around at her school, we have both had our annual shots, so today while I was out grocery shopping I stocked piled nighttime and daytime bottles for hubby and I to have if/when the sickness hits us. I take her to the doctor tomorrow to hopefully get a diagnoses. She has had the fever since Sat. night. Fever ranging from 102.2-104.0. I had a mother from her class call me tonight b/c her daughter has high fever and knew my daughter did too, and wanted to know what the doctor diagnosis was. Well, I had planned on taking her today to the doctor but magically she was fever free until around 5:00 p.m. right when her doctors lock the doors for the day, so tom. I am taking her fever or no fever. I asked hubby to bring home some beer tonight b/c I had my coumadin test and it was a little low, and a drink wouldn't hurt much. plus I needed it after my busy week. WE were enjoying our Miller Lites, when we got a phone call about my hubby's Aunt passing away. Tom. will be the wake, and funeral Friday. Dang, this week has been crazy, we are on no kind of schedule what so ever. My kiddo has missed 3 days of school this week. A death really shakes me up, just when I had my beer buzz going the death news cut my carefree spirit short. Death isn't very fun to explain to a 5 year old especially when her parents are having a religious mid- life crisis. okay enough blogging for me, my beer is getting warm :cocktail: -Night, Amy

I was a public school teacher for 5 years and I didn't teach the ages of 13/11. I could never see that happening with me or any of my students. Maybe there are a lot of low self esteem teachers out there who have some sick problem. All I know for a fact is the normal teachers, hate these gross ones giving us all a bad name. In college, yes we all had to take and pass an ethics class on bizarre situations like these. AS well as a background search, criminal record clearance, finger printed on so on. It disgust me to no end. -Amy

I think I have come to a place in my recovery that I thought I would never get to. I think I am happy with where I am in occupational therapy recovery. I don't care if my left hand ever paints/writes again. I can make do with my right hand. I have grieved my left hand's death. My left hand is functional for gross motor. It makes a good paper weight. I am tired of working to make it perfect again, when I know it will probably never be 100% again. That is okay by me. Is it okay to settle where you are in recovery? Is it fair to do that? Maybe I need to talk it over with my OT? Has anyone else gotten to this stagnant area of recovery? Or am I an Olympic drop-out? -Amy

It is Friday!! My hubby's truck is fixed, and I will get the car back. :big_grin: I just went 2 days without and walked to take and PU my daughter to school Thursday. I shouldn't complain, I can walk, but my gait isn't correct and it makes my foot painful. :head_hurts: I have withstood all the pain my left foot can take for almost 3 years. My left toes(except the big toe gets tired easily and can't do their job, so I end up walking on top of my baby toes. It didn't bother me when I couldn't feel them, but having feeling back, makes it painful. Today I knew I couldn't do both, walk in the a.m. and p.m. to school to PU my daughter. :nuhuh: My husband asked his mom to pick me up to take me to PU daughter today it made my legs day, so much brighter. I came close to falling 3 times this morning walking home. I am getting good at catching myself now. My weekend plans you ask? I don't know, to tell you the truth. Sleep late, rent a movie, visit in-town relatives, family time, the fun things. I don't have to cook 2night and we are going out to eat. I get real excited about not cooking and eating outside of my home. Hope you all have a great weekend. -Amy

I don't want to freak you out, but I was also on my period when I stroked, and I am now as I type. I take blood thinners which make me go anemic every month and feel like I am hemmorging(sp?) to death. I have never heard about menstruation being linked to stroke though. Smiles, Amy

Yesterday was an expensive day. Hubby's truck had it's brakes worked on $250ish. The heating sensor stopped working, on our house gas heating. Repair man to come to our house to dust it off cost, $100.00 (And we were told we would probably have to replace it soon.) Today? Hum, my tooth started to hurt as I type. My husband's truck goes back to the dealership to get 'something' checked out requested by our mechanic. Let's give life a hand, and watch money flutterby that the IRS hasn't given us back yet. GO TEAM!!! *I'm in a SA mood sorry. -Amy

Vix, Congrats on your baby finger moving! That is how my finger movement first started. Now I can move all 5.(With lots of concentration.) That is some very exciting news!! Keep us posted. -Amy

I love Sunday nights t.v. line up on ABC. I seem to really enjoy watching Extreme Makeover Home Edition. It shows a real life family/person going through their own struggles. Watching it makes me realize that other situations could be worse than my own."Misery loves company." Then my favorite no brainer t.v. watching after that show, Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy. Nothing to blog. Our snow/ice is melting!!!!!! Yea! *Amy

It has been a slow last 2 days around here in camp 'Shut-In.' Hubby our entertainer is out working, the snow/ice comes and kiddo and I are here at camp'Shut-In.' Mommy is too scared of falling to be a fun parent outside. I try to play with my kiddo but there is only so much'pretending' I can do. Especially when my kiddo is changing the rules every second. I dug out some expired bird seed from the my classroom graveyard in the garage. I teach a mini lesson to my kiddo, to build up the excitement of birds eating our food, then we sprinkle it out on the patio,(forget about it). Then I see flocks and flocks of birds, outside our back door. She got so excited standing there with her nose pressed up against the glass window. I got filled with joy, I had to fight back a few happy smushy tears. It hit me today, that I could see myself liking watching/feeding the birds. *Shudder* A good stagnant hobby to have. Actually today I have had my nose in this "Square Foot Gardening book" I caught the ol' Spring fever Monday when it was 70 degrees here. I am really good at starting projects, but not good at finishing. I think it would be fun to try to harvest a few veggies this summer with my daughter.Dunno? Just throwing the idea around. I would say that our excitement of today is feeding our feathered friends. *Amy

*Warning blog has nothing to do with stroke. My new vacuum cleaner is the best present ever. I would never use anything else besides a D**** now. My sister knew how much a wanted a XXX vacuum. I couldn't really see the need to get one with my own $$, since I know happiness cannot be given to me through a vacuum. I was wrong. Any who, I feel very rejected at how my old vacuumb/c it pretended to do its job, when really I was wasting my survivor energy pushing around a fake. My new vacuum has a weird handle that my stroke hand can clutch and push it around. I have been neglecting my other B-day presents and I have been vacuuming the past 3 days. It is very addictive, I can see me getting OCD with this baby. If/when this one breaks I would beg,steal, or borrow, 4 a new one. I owe this present to my sister who put the bug in my mom's ear to buy it for me. I faithfully changed my old vacuum bags and belts constantly. It just couldn't pick up the dog hair I guess. I got so much gross s*** out of my new vacuum canister I dry heaved when I saw it. TG, I never borrowed my sisters, inlaws or mom's XXX vacuum, b/c I couldn't of slept good knowing what my old vacuum didn't pick up.

TY guys for the B-day wishes! WE had a good dinner and made it home okay. No wait at the restaurant. Very nice! -Amy

Okay, so 30 is no big deal. I thought I'd never see 30, 2 tell U the truth. My 20's were okay, but a lot of tragic things happened:heart surgery/stroke. One blessed thing did happen, my daughter was born. When I am 40 will I still feel 30? I still feel like I am 25 somedays when the pain is gone. Being born on Valentine's day isn't very fun. #1 I was born with a congenital heart defect #2 I have to share it with my B-day. Yes, my hubby has to do both presents. The first year we were married. I got really sad for him combining presents. I guess Christmas babies or right around Christmas feel the same way. In high school I had no BF, so I used to put a bug in my hubbies ear to send flowers 2 my work. Now that I am home all day, I do not have anyone to show them off to, so I didn't prompt him this year. WE are celebrating my birthday dinner with the rest of couples who decide to go out to eat 2night. I dread the crowd and hope we can get a good seat to sit on while we wait. TTYL, Amy

Today was an out-of-the-ordinary day today. My old college roomie moved back from spending 3+years in Costa Rica. She moved back with her dog, who is bilingual. Yes, he understands English and Spanish. It was so weird to hear her speak to her dog in a different language, and I had no idea what she said, when the dog did. I got out of my 'routine' so my tone increased a bit, and I felt more damaged than other days. It was fun taking a trip down memory lane of our care-free college days and looking at old pictures. I so enjoyed my college days, but I really like my new life now as well. Gonna take nippy nap, Amy

Man, since my hubby started working days, I am so tired at the end of the day. I have been busy so much I barely notice I am home alone. My afternoons are spent making the evening menu, and getting it ready, then it is time to pick up daughter from school, walk and Daddy's home. M y husband is having to switch working night to day's. It is so nice to go to bed together at night. I feed him a big dinner when he comes home, and then he lays down and goes right to sleep. I really like being home by myself. I have been acting aloof like a teenager and playing my music loud/singing (while cleaning). My dog watches me like I am crazy. My musical artist of the week is Evanescence. I love Amy Lee's voice. Tonight we had Chicken salad sandwiches with Apples/pickles/eggs in it, and my very first homemade Banana Pudding-It didn't turn out very puddingly, but it still tasted good. I have better watch my waistline( I think cooking for my hubby while we were newlyweds helped me put on the weight) plus pregnancy. Tomorrow I think we will have steamed veggies and a grilled lean meat-no dessert. Good night. -Amy

Mary, I fought with the mean man 'fatigue' for a year. I had several, several, expensive test to see why, I was so tired all the time. All strokes are different, but my fatigue is not so bad as it was. I think some of my meds were contributing to it also. I now have learned how to pace myself, nap inbetween tasks, ect. Good luck, it is hard to get over.(It really seems like I slept the first soild year post stroke.) -Amy

This blog comes from one deep inside my brain, that I have never taken the time to think about until now.. I will have to jump down memory lane for you. Remember I am only 29 years old,so college/high school wasn't to terribly long ago. High School Amy: "I'll be happy When..." 1. I'll be happy when, I can drive. 2. I'll be happy when, I have a boyfriend. 3. I'll be happy when I wear a size 3. 4. I'll be happy when I get out of this cowboy town College Amy: "I'll be happy when..." 1. I will be happy when I have a healthy relationship with food. 2. I will be happy when I finally graduate from college. 3. I will be happy when I get married. 4. I will be happy when I start my career. Career Amy: "I'll be happy when.." 1. I'll be happy when I transfer schools. 2. I'll be happy when I have a baby. 3. I'll be happy when I have this heart surgery behind me. 4. I'll be happy when I make more money. 5. I'll be happy when I lose this baby weight. Who knew my happiness would start after my stroke? I had to have basically almost everything taken away for me to realize happiness comes from within. I always had heard that, but never understood it. I can truly say,"I am happy to be a survivor. I enjoy the simplicity of life. I enjoy being out of the rat-race of working society. I now understand why the elderly drive slow" They are enjoying every moment of life. Current Amy: 1. I am happy being a hemipalegic.(with one fully functioning arm.) 2. I am happy earning a minimum wage income. 3. I am happy being a stay-at-home wife/mommy. 4. I enjoy the little things of life. 5. I wish I could of found this knowledge earlier in life. Stroke does teach some hard lessons. 6. I am happy living frugally.

I have a cute Kindergarten story to share, if you promise not to tell my daughter I told you. They were playing the rhyming game at school, since they are learning rhyming words. The teacher so happen to ask my baby, "What rhymes with Bell?" She replied with"Hell." Bless her little heart, she came home and told us, and hid her face thinking Daddy and I would get mad, but you almost had to pick us up off the floor. She doesn't want to talk about it, she says. So here I am broadcasting it into cyberspace. (Not a very respectful thing to do, huh?) All I have to say is this.......thank goodness she didn't get the word "Duck."

I cheat and use an online brand, that does all the calculations for you, so there is not a lot of brain work to do, just steps and entering numbers..

Ding, Dong, our taxes are done. I did them, this year w/ out my husbands help. Last year I messed up our filing kind of bad, but this year, no "Could you help me where I got stuck?" I am sure my neuro psych in rehab would shudder at the fact my damaged brain was filing taxes. Oh well..Another one of my therapies,I call it. -Amy

When my left eye had no peripheral vision I really had no clue. You can't miss something you don't see. My daughter was standing in my left peripheral vision this morning. I said "Hi, baby." "How could you see me,Mommy??" (totally shocked at the fact I could see her.) When my vision was giving me problems, she could run in the room I was in and out, and not get seen by me. She thought it was the funniest thing, when her little game was found out with me seeing her. When I am typing on the computer I crack a single blind open to stimulate my left peripheral vision. My blind cracking has become my husband's pet peeve of mine, along with all the others. My vision isn't back to normal I would say, but I try to do things to help. Like my made up therapy"cracking the bind." I can catch a car going down he street sometimes, and it is a good feeling. I have a lot of other 'therapies' I say are therapy, when maybe they are not really. -Amy

Lin and Scooterman, Good examples, thank you very much. I think I may be too shy to ask for a manager. I wish I had some more 'female' dog in me:) -Amy

Yesterday I set out for the big Wal-Mart to do the weekly grocery shopping, and get a new watch battery. The lady working at Wal-Mart in the jewelry department, gave me a knife like object and asked me to take the plate off the back of my watch. I told her a short version of why I couldn't. I said "This arm is paralyzed, and I have only one arm to use. I cannot do it." She seemed miffed at the fact she was the one who had to take the watch plate off. Isn't that what her job is for? Taking care of customers? I am taking my watch battery business elsewhere now. (Like $6.00 for a battery is going to hurt the business.) -Amy

Scooterman, Shame on you for your comment. Actually, to give you too much information: The doctors took that problem away from me, after my daughter was born, by taking my fallopian tubes. I can say, that the procedure is still working fine, though. Since our daughter has started kindergarten we have been on 2nd Honeymoon ever since. *smiles* -Amy

I saw the most wonderful sign of spring, while checking my mail this week. The daffodils have sprouted out by my mailbox. It also brought back a bitter sweet memory of my grandfather planting the bulbs before Parkinson's disease ate his personality and functions away. I know stroke and Parkinson's disease are not the same, but I wonder, how my Granny may of felt being a full-time caregiver to a non-verbal almost non mobile spouse? Changes are coming our way soon. Hubby, got a job promotion and will no longer work nights! Another step up on the 'ol corporate ladder. It will be an adjustment for our only child to have to share both parents at once. AS well as for myself, I will have to share daughter with my spouse also. *No longer the girls sticking together. I am looking forward for the changes that will happen. WE will get to spend more time together as a family. :happydance: I will have to adjust to cosleeping with my spouse again. Being one-sided makes it difficult to snuggle. We have not shared a bed simutaneously for two years. WE may be ready to trade our bed in for 2 twins. Just teasing. I have already been preparing daughter at night for our big 'lifestyle' change. WE have coslept together for 5 years and I have cut another apron string. She is sleeping in her own bed for the first time in her life with no problems. :yikes: She has actually stated she likes it better, b/c Mommy doesn't hog the covers. She knows our bed is open anytime if she is scared or needs us. It will be nice to have Husband home at night to defend the family if need be. :bop: Must go attend a metting at daughter's school. Have a good one. -Amy

I could blame it on my damaged brain, carelessness, but something funny happened the other night at the grocery store. My daughter and I set out to make a quick run to the local Wal-Mart. WE usually never go at night/dusk, but for some reason we needed to go. I always make a mental not to remember what # row we parked, b/c I have lost my car in the parking lot before. It was dark, so I had to make a mental map note. We did our business and came out the door. I spotted our car fast, but swore I had parked 2 more rows over to the right. I was tired and just glad to see my old trusty car waiting patiently for us. The car magnet should of been a giant red flag, b/c my car doesn't sport any magnets of any kind. This is bad... I tell my kiddo to go ahead and get in the car, I am still putting everything in my purse perfect... Kiddo jumps in, then jumps out with a terrified look on her face. "Mommy, our car smells funny!!!" "Mommy there is a purple jacket in the back seat too. Mommy, our steering wheel looks funny also." I wasn't listening well, and then I got it... This is the wrong car!!!! Of course we walked 2 rows over to the right and there is where our car sat. My kiddo was never so glad to get in the backseat of the car. For all I know, she may think all X colors of X brand cars have the same universal key, b/c she was very shaken up. It was cute/funny. I can laugh at myself and the mistakes. I am just glad, that there was no warm body in the car waiting on a friend/family member, b/c that really would of spooked her. When a situation like that happens, I think it makes her doubt my competency of a Mommy, b/c she tends to put on her parental ballcap. I did however, put her faith/trust back in me last night TG. I was in a wild/silly mood. She was standing on the bed. I backed my rump up next to the bed, and said "Get on cowgirl!" patting my back. She nervously climbed her 40 pound body on my back, with her arms gently around my neck. We trotted off to her bedroom, while my tongue/mouth made hoof sounds. My stroke hand was even pretending to help hold her under her rump. I got the best compliment of the year after that.."Mommy you are sooo strong." If she could only of heard my silent prayers that I was sending up..."Please don't fall, ankle support us.." If I didn't have my kiddo sometimes I wonder if I would have the will to live to get better?? Having a young child sure does help with the pushing. It is very hard too, b/c my brian hasn't relearned patience.