swilkinson

With Ray in full-time care now I face a lot of events that are beyond my control owing to policies of the facility in which he lives. For me as a former full-time caregiver and now a supervisor of his in-residence care I am having to learn a whole lot of new diplomatic skills to deal with new situations. I have laid down a policy for them to follow on all sorts of circumstances, what to do if he has a bad virus, what to do if he stops breathing (yes, do send him to hospital) what to do to bring him out of seizures, when to notify me, when to use the head nurse's discretion etc. There doesn't seem to be a support group for people in my situation so I still rely on this site and a couple of others dealing with dementia where some people have put their loved ones into full-time care. I have had to learn not to feel out of control when Ray gets sick or something goes wrong in his life. It is very hard to do sometimes. At present the NH is "closed" due to an epidemic of gastric virus and I haven't seen him for a week so I have to rely on phone calls to staff. It is very frustrating. The staff of course are focused on preventing the disease from spreading so visitors are locked out until the epidemic is conquered in this facility. I understand that but desperately want to see Ray, I miss him so. Gastric viruses have hit most local nursing homes. Ray's has been in lock down since last Monday, Mum's since last Wednesday. I haven't been to see either of them as I don't want to spread it unnecessarily...sigh. My daughter Shirley came up on Tuesday with her two children and I was so happy to have them with me. Because of the rain we had to spend a lot of time inside and I was glad she was able to take her coffee out on the verandah with a book and have some quiet time while the grandchildren and I danced and played noisy games on the Wii. As a Salvation Army officer her life is a busy one and I do want her to have some down time. Those who do not take care of their own needs cannot take care of the needs of others. They stayed for three nights but she had to go home without seeing Ray or her Grandmother. It was very frustrating for her. I enjoyed her and the two grandchildren being here and we made the most of our time together,including a fifteen minute visit to the beach between showers. She was able to visit with both her brothers so the little cousins caught up with each other too. During that time I was unable to use the internet at all as we had three days of heavy rain so my internet link has been down again, back up again now thank goodness. Oh the joys of modern technology! That meant she had only Saturday to prepare for her church meeting today and tonight so she forfeited her usual Saturday off. I know it is a sacrifice she makes to come here and I do appreciate that. I've just replied to a message that included the fact that adult children in a family do not step up to the plate when we need them. I have written on this subject a lot during my blog writing here and I don't have the answer, just that wistful question - why? In my times when I needed my children to visit I have screamed and yelled, cajoled and threatened, begged and cried and sometimes it has worked out and my children have visited and most of the time it hasn't. I know with my sister not seeing Mum that it is a sad, sad thing but it is part of human nature that we feel we have the right to make our own decisions, mine is to visit Mum, hers is not to. I still see my sister, I don't make two wrongs into a right as my Dad used to say. It is another case of being diplomatic. I leave her to her own conscience. I just wish she had visited Mum in the facility the 10 years and more that Mum has been there. Just as I now wish my own children would see their Dad more often. As the saying goes "wishing won't make it so". Asha, I am trying once more to "go with the flow" I hope one day it seems the right thing to do.

Glad you did go out and yes, that "just Lydi now" is a good place to be. Sue.

When I went into the Nursing Home today I heard a voice say: "Hello Susie Q" and I took no notice. then an arm came around my shoulders and I turned around to see an old friend of Ray's from his early days in Lions. It was good to get a hug from an old friend. When Ray joined our Lions Club he was the second Ray so the two Rays were known as Ray W and Ray T. Then a third Ray joined and he was also Ray T, so they called him R T2. The three of them then got known as R1, R2, and Ray became R3. Often the three Rays would work on the same projects so they all became good friends. R1 got kidney failure and moved closer to his children in Sydney as he needed dialysis, R2 went into another worthy club and dropped out of Lions and the history of R3 you know. R2 was visiting a veteran as he is the welfare officer of the local Returned Soldiers league branch. He was in Vietnam himself in the late '60s and acts now as hospital visitor, welfare officer and liaison officer between older veterans and government departments who may be confusing them. Although it is a voluntary job it is almost full-time for him now which is why he dropped out of Lions. He said he thought he had seen my Ray on a previous visit but he had disappeared before he could verify that it really was him. Together we went to the dining room so he could have a short visit. I am not sure my Ray knew who R2 was, he had the usual watchful look on his face and watched each of us as we talked of old times. R2 said he will come and visit again when he has more time. I escorted him back to the front door and he talked about our older son who rarely visits his Dad, he often sees Steve at funerals. R2 said maybe he doesn't have a lot of time (true) or maybe it could be because he doesn't want to get to know people he may one day have to carry out in a body bag. That could be one explanation I suppose - a kind of squeamishness. At least he has a good opinion of our son - he sees him as a "good bloke, doing a hard job". My visit to Ray wasn't really a success today, maybe because of the visit from R2 who he didn't recognise, who seemed a bit familiar with his wife (he gave me a hug and kiss at the door), he wasn't really talking to me. It will be better tomorrow. I have gone past the stage of analyzing each visit, some are good, some are bad, some have no real impact on either of us, they are just a few hours spent together. In a lifetime it doesn't make a lot of difference. Ray is changing slowly. I asked one of the nurses about the shaky way Ray is now at his evening meal. The first time I saw him shakily trying to get his spoon full of food to his mouth I had to walk outside to stop myself from crying. The shakiness is the side effect of the drug used to stop the seizures. There can be no change in the medication nor in its dosage if ray is to not have seizures. So it is a Catch 22, damned if you take it, damned if you don't. When I asked the head nurse about Ray's condition she slowly lowered her hand level by level and said: "we can't stop the downward progress now." I understand that. I want to ask for a timeline but the answer is always the same: "How long is a piece of string?". I get the same sort of answer when I ask about Mum: "Who knows? Every case of Alzheimer's is different, there are so many different factors to take into account". Of course, i understand both answers, there is no telling when any of us will die. I just want to be there for them both for as long as I can. I am trying to contact some of my friends from the past and catch up a bit. Of course many of my 1999 friends have moved on, changed jobs, changed phone numbers, in the case of older ones gone into care or died but I am having some success. If I keep the story of Ray's decline simple I don't get stunned silence and can ask: "And what has been happening to you?" and they are still there. It doesn't do to strongly state how hard it has been, just that it has been a while now. All this is to make sure I don't neglect myself to the stage of collapsing when Ray or Mum goes. I need to have some things I can move forward into rather than go into a decline and remain attached to the past. I know there is no real way of lessening the impact but I want to know that there are people from my old life I can contact later if i want to, old friendships stiil there to renew. We all need to plan ahead if it is possible. For now as always life is a holding pattern. I get up, have breakfast, go to see Mum, go to see Ray, come home, do housework etc. Some days I shop or visit a friend or go for a drive and sit and stare at the ocean for a while. Sometimes,like last Friday night I have to go back to the Nursing Home again because Ray has had another bad seizure, fortunately not that often. I know if I am needed they will call me as I've said "call me anytime". It is not the ideal life, it is just life as I lived it today.

Lynn, so sad for your neighbour and her family, I hope she comes through it all. I know life can hand us such trials sometimes. Your son and his separation will be ongoing for some time, so courage, love and prayers are needed to pass through this grieving process. I understand your husband's frustration that the operation didn't make him instantly better. It takes a while for the body to adjust and of course also to get over the effects of the operation itself. I guess all he needs is your TLC in the meantime. Sue.

Ruth, I think all the work you have done on yourself is starting to bear fruit and you are seeing life in a different way. I smiled when you described Dick in his moment of high awareness as I had that with Mum a few years ago. Suddenly she saw life clearly, sadly it did not last but it still remains a special memory for me. Once April starts still go on thinking and act only when you are totally sure in your mind that it is what you want to do. (((hugs))) from Sue.

The out-of-routine stuff sometimes causes problems but because if was all for Bruce he seemed to get through it well this time. Good on both of you for the effort you both put in to make it all a success. Yes I agree, if someone offers to come, let them. You can always work the schedule around them. Enjoy your Debbie time. Sue.

Sorry to hear of Lauren's setback, as you know Ray has seizures too. I think we cn come to terms with it but will never like the changes that come after the seizures. A "new normal" can change every day, it is indeed chaos, but out of chaos comes a new strength and creativity and a determination to enjoy life, such as it is, for as long as we can. Prayers coming your way. Sue.

Me too. I have been so helped by the loving support I have received here and so I need to give back where I can. As Ruth said even in the nursing home other caregivers come, as green as grass, and ask "how do you do this, what happens when they do that?" Some people have come straight from a short stay in hospital and so their spouses haven't been a hands on caregiver as I have so are not handling the change and the paperwork that goes with it. Debbie, you are in an ideal position to help out and yes, do gie them this site to help them as it has helped us. Look forward to more people participating in chat. Sue.

Ruth you have done some epic thinking in the two months you set aside for it. I am sure whatever decision you make it will be the best one for you. Thank you for all the insights you share with us. I too have wanted the "old Ray back" but as i see him now, day by day, in the grip of dementia and with so many health problems I realise that we are a long way from where we were in the "good old days". (((hugs))) from Sue.

Congratulations from me too. Each year you get together as a couple is precious. Enjoy your life together, it isn't perfect but it is unique. I'm glad the family are rallying round too, got to love the family that sticks through thick and thin. Enjoy your weekend. Sue..

Wow, colour me green with envy. Travelling was what ray and i had planned to do but alas strokes no 3,4,5,6 etc intervened. I am glad we did do some travelling in the good times so have those happy memories. I love the update on your lives, i think of your Lesley as my fellow Antipodean and a kind of cousin. (((hugs))) to you both, Sue.

You sound as if you really ARE seeing things as they really are for the first time in a while. Yes, you are strong and as the song says it is "wisdom born of pain". So continue on the path you are walking, it seems the right one to me. Sue.

My computer closes down every twenty minutes, everyone says it is a virus but that doesn't help. I switched it off for a couple of days, I simply couldn't deal with it. I need it as a lifeline to the outside world, to my friends here, to my email pals, just to stay sane!. I am frustrated when it does not work. After three weeks without a seizure Ray has had two seizure days in a row. Last night the aides dealt with it, the night before they called me in and I was there for two hours working on him, talking to him, crying over him before he roused. It is breaking my heart. In a way it is like Ray is dying inch by inch. Ray goes into the semi coma state, then comes back out again hours later, quieter, more locked in, then gradually he comes good again and I can deceive myself by denying that it ever happened. I want life to be normal so I pretend it is. I will go in and we will spend time in the courtyard and maybe he will talk to me and we will have some laughs and.... I know, it is just a dream. I tiptoed into the facility today hoping that Ray will be in the lounge room or the courtyard only to find him in bed - "resting" the nurses say. I can see it from their point of view. Ray has a seizure, he is finally out of it, he is tired but does not have a good night's sleep, therefore he needs bedrest. But bedrest means no time in the sun, no meal in the dining room where there is company and some socialising takes place. Bedrest is isolating, for him and for me. Today I stayed two hours, on Friday I stayed two hours in the noontime and another two hours at night trying to get him out of the semi consciousness after the seizure. I massaged his feet, that seems to stimulate something in him and he rises to consciousness, then i sit him up in the bed and if there is food or drink close by I give him slow mouthfuls until he is fully conscious and capable of interacting again. So then the nurses can give him his medication. I asked if the nurses could massage his feet but apparently they cannot, only physiotherapists can use massage! In between worrying about Ray I do live a life of sorts. Last night I went to a lovely house a bit further up the coast and joined our Apex40 club for a seafood night. I just adore prawns and oysters and don't mind smoked salmon so i was in semi Paradise. It was the first night of its kind I had attended since 2006, the year when Ray could no longer climb stairs. I thought how much he used to enjoy "Seafood Night" and felt sad that he was not there with me. I had a really good visit with Ray on Saturday, as I called to see how he was earlier in the morning he was out in his chair waiting for me, I went with him to the dining room, he had lunch and then we went out into the grounds. I was feeling energetic so took him for a long walk down to the lake. Probably a bit ambitious as I then pushed him along to the next street and had to push him up a long hill to get back to the nursing home grounds. Still it was a good feeling, to be doing something normal, enjoying the sun for a change. When we finally got back, about half an hour or so later Trev had been looking for us everywhere as he had come to visit his Dad. He said next time he will drive around the neighbourhood looking for us! What a problem wandering parents are! He took Ray over to the pharmacy to buy his ice cream cup and we went down under the trees and spent a pleasant half an hour there before Ray decided he had had enough time in the sun and we went back to his room. I am so glad Trevor came, it makes such a difference to the mood when other visitors come and it is not just me. I pray fervently that Ray, in his present condition, will be spared a few more days, weeks, months...it is what we all do as caregivers, partners, spouses and children of stroke survivors. We love our special people and want to be close to them, to have a good relationship, to help and support and care for them. It is so frustrating when the time we spend with them is so limited by their condition that it is not possible to sustain that so special relationship we once shared.

Lenny, you seem to always be able to find a better way of doing things. Make the most of Spring, be out and about as much as you can. Sue.

Life certainly changes for all of us with strokes. I said we suddenly changed decades and got ten years older, leaving ll our younger friends behind. Sure feel like that some days. I am glad you joined the party and enjoyed most of it. I know Larry would have found it difficult but he needed to do it for BOTH your sakes and for the sake of the rest of the family. Well done both of you. Sue.

Ruth you are amazing. I agree with Debbie, time you had a "Ruth" day. Sue.

Ray has not had a seizure for over three weeks, hopefully because the medication has reached the therapeutic level. He did have two days in bed last week due to a bladder infection. I think that was down to the catheter though as they finished up taking it out. Today when I visited him he had that spaced out look which is more frequently his expression now. I note the changes in him and try to keep optimistic, I know I can still enjoy the day and not think about tomorrow. The not so good news is that he is back on pureed foods as he has had to have three lots of antibiotics in the past two months and the doctor is trying to prevent further episodes of aspirational pneumonia as none of us want him to build up resistance to the usual medication. I am afraid this will make him lose speech as well. That can happen because chewing is what exercises the jaw and keep the muscles used for speech going. Of course he manages the spoon better now as he has only to scoop up softened food. I go through days of feeling hopeful that he will plateau and we can go on at the present level for a while. Maybe this is just living in a fool's paradise but as usual I just want him to be healthy and stable. I think that is all that is possible now. He appears to be okay, so why do I feel I am still living on a knife edge and that any moment something bad will happen? Is it the number of years I have been listening, waiting for him to breathe, waiting for him to moan, waiting for him to call for help that makes me still lay awake at night? I wish i could "just get over it" as a good friend sugested. After a few days of fine warm weather it is raining again, with rain predicted as likely for most days next week. A wet summer is being followed by a wet autumn. I, like so many others, were hopeful of a warm, dry season so we could catch up on the house and yard work before winter sets in. There are still floods north and west of us and tumultuous cyclones perched off the coasts of both the north and north west coasts of Australia so nowhere has perfect weather. I guess I will just have to stop my whining and make the most of the fine days left to us. I went to a Caregivers lunch today with my women friends from the stroke recovery group I belong to. I am starting to notice that some have moved away from me now we no longer have the 24/7 caregiving in common. Maybe they are afraid that they too will one day have to put their loved one into care as I have done with Ray. I find now that the ones who sit with me are the newbies, people looking for some support and advice and an outlet for venting. Maybe that is a good thing as I no longer have an urgent need to offload my own troubles so I have more time to listen to others. I did my first home commnuions yesterday. I have been licenced in several parishes in the past to be a Eucharistic minister so it was good to have to opportunity to do that again. I love to think I am taking something people really need, that my presence means that the church still cares for them and about them, that they are still part of the church community. Eventually I will get four people to look after and that will be good, for now I am just following Kathy around as she ministers to them. It is good to be back in harness again. One of Ray's female cousins died last week. Although we used to see a lot of that family they moved away a few years ago and I never had a new address. I didn't open Wednesday's paper till Thursday and there was the notice, a funeral locally at 10.30am Wednesday. It is such a pity that the busyness of our lives keeps us out of contact with others. Once it was not so as other family members would have passed news along, but now all the first cousins are scattered and isolated and we don't have the family contact we used to before the uncles and aunts died. I did tell Ray but not sure he understood who I was speaking of. ​Trevor called in this afternoon, he had been up to visit my Dad's grave at the cemetery as it was the 100th anniversary of my Dad's birth today. Truly it was yesterday but his father was an Irishman so of course his son was born on St Patrick's Day! My Dad was 27 before he found out his birthday was really 16th of March and as had been the tradition we continued to give him his party on St Paddy's Day. Trevor is the one in our family who cares the most about family traditions, said he misses Dad and misses celebrating St Patrick's Day with him. I am glad someone in the family will always think about Dad on St Patrick's Day even when I am gone. Thank you to all the people who continue to read this, who comment and share their own thoughts on what I have written. Which means I am not just typing this onto a computer screen I am communicating with good people who care about us. That means a lot to me.

Lenny, your words are so heart felt here, I hope you also are able to tell him how proud you are of him. I so enjoy your blogs. I know you go to a lot of trouble to write them and they are all worth reading. Sue.

Hope you got that sleep-in Debbie, it is well deserved. I don't know where you get your energy, all you fit into one week would take most of us three weeks to do. Just keep an eye out for your old enemy "burnout" though. What a high maintenance cat Kira is - her own personal endocrinologist! As you say she has often saved your sanity so I guess she is worth it. See if you can get the next one with a money back guarantee or good insurance...lol. Sue.

It has been ten days without a seizure for Ray but he just had two days in bed because of a bladder infection caused by the catheter. It seems as if he goes from one type of illness to another. I guess his immune system is compromised. Wish there was a simple treatment that would fix all this. I now spend three hours and sometimes more a week with Mum. Sometimes the visits are short, sometimes longer. I just sit with her, engage her as much as I can. To me she is who she always has been and as I watch the expressions on her face I see her as she was at various stages in her life. I have my memories and cruel as Alzheimer's is they can never be taken away. She is either in her bed or in her water chair when I get there and either place I can simply be with her. She is beyond responding now but often I catch her looking at me and although she is almost blind I wonder if she can see and hear me.I know if I were in her position I would want to have love expressed and so I often say: "You are beautiful Mum and always will be" and "I love you Mum." It is the very least I can do now. I feel as if we are getting close to the end for her now so want to spend more time with her. I now go three times a week, every Thursday and Friday mornings and either Monday or Tuesday morning. I try to do this without losing any time with Ray. So far it is working out okay. I guess I have accepted her being in care in a way I am struggling to come to terms with with Ray. Maybe that is because she is so old, 93 is a good age. But also because as she has been in care for so long I have long since lost that feeling of being responsible for her that I still feel with Ray. A friend from church came to the nursing home this week. She is Ray's pew mate from last year. Sadly she has had a fall and damaged a knee which because of her other illnesses can't be operated on so she has lost her mobility. She formerly lived with her only daughter who finds it all too much now. Thus lovely lady has been close to suicide so I hope she will be accept the decision and not get too depressed. Once she is up and in a wheelchair I can take her wherever Ray and I are so she has company. I just love the guys Ray shares his room with. They are good to him and to me. The man in the next bed gets a Sydney daily paper and shares that with us. It has given me something to read on the rainy days and days like the last two when Ray has been confined to his bed. They also have a sense of humour so we always seem to end up laughing at something one of them has said. I have found the biography of one of Ray's favourite TV presenters in the library and have started reading that to him, one of the cleaners came in to do his room today and said: "Go on reading, I love to hear you read." I think it is things like that that give me a reason to go on. I am praying that the weather improves and we have that lovely Indian summer we can sometimes have in late March and April. I want to be able to get outside and do some gardening. I want those walks I promised myself some time ago. I feel as if I have gained weight and lost muscle tone. Too much sitting by Ray's bed does nothing for my energy levels. I really need to go for a walk and come back later to check on him some days. There is some reasonably flat walking from where he is down to the Lake so i should be able to get walks in in cooler, dryer weather. It is motivation I lack. I have been reading a book about forgiveness and how harboring unforgiveness can raise barriers in your life. I know i carry a lot of resentment about the strokes and what they have done to our lives. I somehow have to overcome that bad attitude and concentrate on our lives as they are and make the most of the time we have. I still love Ray, he is my husband and I want the best for him. If that means making the most of where he is now so be it. So pray for me and help me keep true to what I am trying to do. I know Asha will do that, she is my example for living in the moment and making life's lemons into lemonade.

Hurray for any new development that makes life easier for you. Lenny you are a good reminder that improvement can come all the way through your life. I hope others reading this will get that point too. Long may it continue. Sue.

I must say that is better than most doctor's visits I've had. Maybe we need a new kind of medical center closer to the day spa treatment Kira received. So glad she is still bringing joy to Bruce's heart. I'm glad you were able to be in chat today, you bring a special kind of wisdom to bear on the topics discussed. Thank you. Sue.

Six days of the week are ours to do what we like with them, one belongs to God - the way I was told it anyway. So if you celebrate Saturday or Sunday as God's Sabbath, on that day forget your penance (whatever you are giving up) and just celebrate being God's child! Sue.

lynn..I hope the next stage is "and they all lived happily ever after", or as close as we humans get to that. (((hugs))) from Sue.

I hope you don't mind if I moan about the weather. It is raining again. It has rained most of the week. Today is Saturday and it is wet and cold and most unsummery. Oh wait, we did have two hot, humid and awful days, with thunderstorms and I complained about that too. Roll on autumn, a season where the nights are cool, the days shorter but pleasant...or is global warming going to interfere with that too? The last couple of all day seizures have made a difference to Ray's alertness. Since the last one Ray has been much less aware and less able to hold any kind of conversation, sometimes even answering a simple question seems beyond him. I know there is no telling if they are causing more brain damage but certainly his ability to do even simple things has gone down. He is on heavier doses of the seizure medication to try and stop the seizures and often sits now with his head down, drooling, with his mouth open. Ray also seems not to be able to eat more than half a meal by himself. He will take a few dessertspoonfuls and put his spoon down. Up till now he has been a good eater so this is a worrying development. I wonder if it is the new medication or new damage? It also worries me that I am not there every day at lunchtime to make sure he eats at least one good meal a day. What happens when I am not there? How much does he eat? I had the three grandchildren from close by today as their Dad was on call as the "pick up person" for the funeral home he works for and their Mum had a full day shift starting at 6am. We had fun. The two little boys are 4 1/2 and 5 1/2 now so able to settle longer to do a puzzle or play a game and are more biddable. Alex, the older of the two boys is in his first year at school Oliver at preschool. Tori is a delight and I would have liked to keep her today but she hadn't brought her bag with her so we put it off to another weekend. Now she is older I can't just wash her clothes overnight like I used to, she wants a different outfit for the next day. I had to do a family history project for my oldest grandson Christopher, we do these projects in upper primary school now. He had to chose someone from his parents generation, someone from his grandparents or great-grandparents gneration. He chose my Dad so I had a trip down memory lane (and shed a few tears ) as I prepared him a few pages of information. I am sure his other grandmother did too as she prepared information on her father. Both were immigrants, my Dad from England, her Dad from Germany. Both families produced children and grandchildren they could be proud of. I realised a few days go how obsessed I still am with Ray and his health problems. How often I lay awake at night still thinking: "if we do this he will get better", it is not good, it is as if I am still trying to control what is happening to him and worrying will fix it. Will it? of course not. It is so hard to accept that really nothing we do apart from seeing he has the right food, is kept warm/cool and has enough rest is going to make much difference now. How sad is it that statins, which Ray has been on for over twenty years are now being cited as one of the contributing factors to dementia? I also realised that in focussing so much on Ray I am also neglecting my children and grandchildren, which is why I said "yes" to having the three little ones today and foregoing my visit to Ray. I need to give them some time, some attention, before they grow older and do not need Granma's attention anymore. I know that will come soon enough. Tori only has one year of primary school to go and High School kids really do not want to be seem with Granmas and Granpas. We are definitely not cool with that generation. I took them with me to the Church Fair and although the weather was wet and few people there, those who were there were cheerful and happy to see us. Little old ladies remarked on what pretty hair Tori has or how "lively" the boys are. I always buy them a whole heap of interesting stuff, I guess it is appreciated by the kids, not so much by their parents...lol. I can afford to buy trinkets for Tori, second hand trucks and toys for the boys. There were three pot plants that didn't get to go home, neither parent is a gardener so I have to take them and plant them myself on my next visit to them. I have so appreciated the positive attitude of so many of the church folk as we have gone through the drama which seems to be life for us now. A couple on one of the stalls today I often see as they regularly visit an old neighbour of theirs at the nursing home. They always come looking for Ray and me and say g'day. It is sometimes better sometimes to be happy with these considerate well-wishers than to yearn after the friends who have disappeared from our lives of late. And so life goes on, visiting Ray, catching up on housework, and I would have done yardwork except for the rain, rain and more rain this week. I want a refund on the summer that never was, I've missed out on the swimming, the walks along the beach, the picnics and BBQs, the many sunny days of enjoying the great outdoors. I know there may be a lovely autumn (fall) ahead so maybe I will be able to spent time in the garden then. Global warming seems to have become global raining...grrr! So much rain that we have so many areas flooded, 75% of New South Wales is flood affected as of this morning. Luckily we are one of the district to have more moderate falls. Life certainly could be worse.