swilkinson

So true Nancy, so true.

Sarah, it is really hard when you want to do something but can't because you are a caregiver. I have been in those circumstances too. Just keep in touch and support them both as much as you can from a distance.

Prayers coming your way.

Nice to see you are still active in the kitchen. As we get older we can get less active so keep up as much activity as you can despite the back pain. The blog community is a great place to get support and share ideas.

Sarah, as you and I know we cannot always be there to help our kids. The priority is  different when you are a caregiver. You want to be the one they can rely on but your circumstances make it impossible. I hope you can come to terms with that. You are a good wife and mother and a good friend to many. (((hugs))).

Nancy, our lives fall into patterns, I am never sure what is worthwhile and what is workable but it all blends in somehow. I had that kind of life with Ray in the nursing home though taking him outside somewhere we could walk with me pushing him in the wheelchair was the go not bringing him home. I missed that when he died. Now my pattern is driven by my various ailments. But on the way we influence other lives and for me that is where the life well lived comes from. (((hugs)))

Looks like my operation date might be mid-July. About five weeks after the Pre-admission Clinic. Fingers toes and eyes crossed...lol.

Sarah, you are a champion caregiver. Maybe a special brunch out at a casino? Whatever you feel is a way of marking this milestone. Ray and I did 13 years from the stroke that forced our retirement, me to look after him but his first stroke was in 1990 so 22 years prior to his passing. I have happy and sad memories of those years. But is is half of our married life so worthy of remembrance.

Nancy, once you get over the embarrassment of seeing and hearing your person in a demented state, and being expected to take responsibility for that everything else becomes easier. I especially learned that with Mum and her weird behaviour. So hold your head up high, plaster a smile on your face and visit as often as you can. Really Dan is their problem now. It is all care, no responsibility. Here we call the situation you are in and I was in "separated due to ill health" and that is exactly what it. is, without the dementia you would be living a different life. So smile girlfriend, you got this.

May be having the brain operation soon. I am scared stiff but it has to happen. Just hope I become through it okay. Can I do this?  I've been through a lot in my life and somehow have managed to come through okay.

Ray used to do the same, just lose control of his body.  Often in the bathroom but sometimes on the way which  was a much bigger cleanup. I cleaned him up first and got him back to bed before I had my cry, more out of exhaustion than sadness. Once we had the twin beds it made life so much easier when an "accident"happened as I could roll him onto mine while I fixed up his. Well done in picking him up while retaining his dignity.

Your son sounds like he will grow up to be a fine man. Maybe his wife should be the one to get him organized in the future. Getting little jobs done around the house by one of my sons always makes me a happy mother too. Happy Mother's Day. 

Pam, whatever it takes to get you better. Sleep apnea is so common in folks with breathing problems so I hope your new routine helps. You certainly went through a lot in April! I know you must feel terribly alone sometimes. But although I am over the other side of the world I want you to remember  I am thinking of you, and hoping things will get better for you.

Pam, I just had five days in hospital with cellulitis, got it in my melanoma affected leg. It was very painful. I hate being in hospital but in order to get the right antibiotics I had to stay there.  I hope things work out better for you soon. I wish you pain free days.

Tracy, I am more than happy to read your blog. Good news, bad news it is all your reality. So... congratulations on your good news,the ability to live independently will be great, you and Kitty will love it.  Thankfully you will still have both your parents as back ups, and that gives you a safety net. Hope the panic attacks go back to manageable once you settle into your own place. You will be able to color your world the way you want to at last.

Thanks Heather, not something I am looking forward to but we do what we have to do.

Just discovered something new, a surgeon asks for you to be put on either a 30 day or a 90 day waiting list for an operation in a public hospital. It will be interesting to find out which one I'm put on for the aneurysm. They are sending me a heap of paperwork which I should get one day next week. I made the decision to have the  brain aneurysm operation because everyone I spoke to seems to have someone who didn't have the operation and had the stroke. I can't plan ahead now but have always lived day by day so will manage okay.

As long as one of the feelings is happy, that is what counts.

George, great to have an update from you. I am having some health woes too but hope that once I am over them I will go back to leading a more interesting life. It is wonderful you are finding Lesley's Mum a good addition to the household, I am sure she values her time with you and Lesley too.

Thank you for your kind words Pam. I am just waiting now for the three specialists to work out what the most necessary operation is and where it needs to be done. Waiting is hard but I simply fill in the days with my usual routine. Life can be good whatever your circumstances.

For me colour is a big deal. If the wall colours are neutral find some cushions, curtains, bedcovers etc to give you colour. Flowers are a great idea but if you don't have a lot of time and energy pots are the go. I admit to having a hundred or more but a small group of pots with colourful flowers and greenery work well and are easy to deconstruct for winter. I hope you make a happy home for yourself wherever you go.

I have a feeling this is a time to time thing, based on the end of Winter and the coming of Spring, a late version of SAD, I get it in September each year.Then I question who I am, what I do, how effective I am at that. I question why I am alone, if anyone "out there" cares about me even. In the end I do what ASHA suggests and just let time pass and somehow I find myself enjoying life again. I hope you find the same Kelli (((Hugs))).

Me too, prayers for your Dad and you too. Being on  a list can be frustrating because they seem to move slowly but at least you have hope now. I am glad to hear you are enjoying chat. Keep up the good work.

Welcome back Sarah, as I said  in my message I worry when people disappear from the Blog community. Glad you finally got the shower in too, much easier on your back and with summer coming a shower will be quicker and easier from now on.

Thanks everyone, I am just going on every day in my usual way until a decision can be made. Lovely autumn weather now so all is right in my world.