swilkinson

Lynn, with our younger son, he works part-time, with set hours, she works full-time swinging shifts, the two Grannies make up the child minding hours for Lucas. Sometimes that kind of arrangement is much better for small families. Sue.

MaryJo, you are one strong clever woman. :forgive_me?: A housewarming gift...lol. Nice to have you back in chat :chat: sixteen people in all. I did 2hours 20 minutes of hosting, every minute worth it. Sue.

Hey! being a 24 hour a day caregiver is no walk in the park either. Sue,

Karen, about the best advice I can give you is to make the most of every minute you have to spend with Bill.Don't think about the future, an hour is too far ahead sometimes, just live in the present.Don't think about tomorrow just intensify how you love him today. Think about breakfast, make it special. Think about sitting beside Bill, burn it on your mind. Never think further ahead than you have to, time is precious now. One of my uncles had two wives who died with cancer, he said with his second wife Mary, who died when he was in his '70s he finally had learned to make the most of every moment. You need to do the same. Praying for you both as usual. Sue.

I finally got a full night’s sleep. Since Ray has had the heel problem he has been sleeping on his back with his foot over a bolster. This means that he snores more and his funny breathing is back. I don’t know if it is actually sleep apnea but it certainly is one of those snoring episodes that goes silent and then a cross between a snort and a shout signals he is breathing again. Last night he slept on his side and all was quiet. What bliss! I have been really, really tired the past few days, in fact by three o’clock I feel as if I am walking in treacle. So I have been having a nanna nap. But as it is also very humid here I find even that has not made a difference. On Thursday we went out to lunch in an air-conditioned restaurant. Both Ray and I had a sleep as soon as we got back and I found I slept more peacefully. Yesterday we spent some time in the shopping centre, again in air-conditioning and again I slept better. I have a very old air-conditioner that we rarely use but may have to re-activate that if the hot and humid weather continues. I went to my dementia support meeting yesterday. Unfortunately it was very crowded and their air-conditioning wasn’t working so it was rather a hot box in there. A lot of the information is repeated in a cycle of teachings and so I have heard it all before but yesterday a couple of things stood out. The first was something I guess we should all as caregivers know. He said: “If I go to a house and it is immaculate I know the care recipient is being neglected. You can’t dust and give adequate care too.” Hmmm…. The other discussion was along the lines of the emergency care plan that we talk about from time to time. I know Debbie has blogged about this too. He was asked who needed to know about our financials? This was from a daughter caring for her father. He said she needed to contact the bank, insurance company etc and get a list of her father’s financial dealings. He advised her to also contact any other organisation he had dealings with. This might be simply to list herself as an alternate contact or to arrange to direct debit bills or to establish her right to update details. It is a little thing but better done before there is an emergency. She could do this as his Power of Attorney. Here you need to list all assets before going into full-time care so if she does it now she will not have to worry if his condition suddenly deteriorates and full time care is necessary. It is another worry off her mind if a real emergency arises and she is inclined to panic. I don’t have a spotless house; I find chores pile up when I have to do the extra care thing as I have been doing the past five weeks. I am so glad that the podiatrist was able to scrape off the last of the blister skin on Wednesday and Ray is back walking on his foot again. It has been such an extra burden on me. I know it sounds wussy to whine about such a small thing as wheelchairing Ray around the house but it is cumulative. It also meant more fetching and carrying as Ray wouldn’t wheel over to his table and pick up a pencil, it was: “Sue, I haven’t got a pencil, could you get one for me?”. Ray is not allowed to put shoes on for another two weeks as the “baby skin” on his foot needs to harden before it takes any pressure. There is to be a temporary soft brace and then eventually another custom made AFO. It is all to ensure that there will not be a repeat episode. I hope not as I certainly wouldn’t want to do this often. I was so scared that it would result in gangrene and an amputation. I think the fall I had on Sunday has also been a contributing factor in my not sleeping as my old relaxation method didn’t seem to work. I am usually able to relax my body but this past week still had so many aches and pains in shoulders and hips caused by the bruising etc. The good thing was I had plenty of time to work my way down my prayer list…lol. I know…that woman always has something to complain about….

Mike, I am complaining that it is too hot and humid and I can't get a good night's rest. I guess we humans are never happy about the temperature eh? Sue.

Sheryl, good for you for expressing what you need to do to feel as if you are part of the team again. I am sure that what you are able to do will increase as you become accustomed to the kitchen chores again. :Good-Post: Sue.

Leah, I am sure you will find the appropriate exercises. I think make a start and just build on it. You have such a good outlook on life. I admire you for that. :You-Rock: Sue.

Ken thank you for being my "new blogger of the week" in my next report. Welcome to my blogworld, hope it becomes one of your favourite places too. You've done very well with your first blog and I can see how hard the transition from being a caring kind of person to being someone who needed taking care of can be. But that caring attitude never goes so I am sure it will always be a part of your way of thinking. Looking forward to getting to know you better. Sue.

I have Ray with Left side neglect so know that saying well Mike! Ray had two falls Tuesday, one at Daycare one at home after not having a fall for weeks. What can you say? Out of the blue they come down splat! Thankfully Bernie's improvement will continue and like all of us you will cope somehow. (((hugs))) from Sue.

Fred, you have a generous heart. I don't do lotteries or gambling of any kind as we have that addiction in our family and I don't want it to touch me or mine. My Mum always hoped to win the lottery and give her kids and grandkids a good time. All we wanted was her love. I hope she knew that we loved her heaps and beneath her Alzheimers knows it still. Sue.

Prayers continuing, hopeful of a good outcome for you both. Sue.

You are so funny...lol. Sue.

Kelli, stay strong. Sue.

Karen, picture us all holding up colorful umbrellas as our prayers cover you. Sue.

:happybday: Happy birthday for tomorrow ( well today here actually). I hope it turns out to be a day to remember, in a nice way of course...lol. I don't know how you cope with so many changes in your life and yet remain as serene as you do. :happybday: (((hugs))) from Sue.

A new beginning for 2011 with a blog from you. Thanks! Look forward to learning more about you through your blogs here. (((Hugs))) from Sue.

So...that is who the Abominable Snowman is!Dean! Sue (laughing). PS Denny, next time you are down there make some snow angels. Glad you didn't get "wrecked" yourself. And we learned that Peggy had yet anther talent. Spectacle mender.

Thanks for the catch-up. Sorry you had a fall too, doing too much too fast is something that does it. I'm glad Andre was there to give you help if you needed it. Thank you phone calls don't happen much in this family either. Sad but we didn't bring them up as courteous as our parents did us. Sue.

I had a fall on Sunday afternoon. I had climbed a step-ladder to put away the last of the Christmas decorations. I had a box in my arms to put up and for some reason I looked back on the bed and fell into space. Came to with a lot of pain down my legs, a bump on my head and completely winded. I thought of yelling for help but knew my next door neighbours were out, Ray was sound asleep two rooms away and couldn’t help me anyway. So I managed to get to my hands and knees and crawled out of there. Thank you to all who saw my message on Facebook and replied. I did have a phone call from a dear friend who said: “Ring me. I will come!” and reminders from others that I should keep a cell phone with me or some means of getting help if it happens again. I fall very rarely, so I get complacent and think it never happens. Today I can feel that it did as I feel like one of those stick figures in kid’s drawings, as if my arms and legs are sticking out at odd angles. I guess I will have some bruising show up in the next few days but am so grateful it was not a heap worse. Imaging broken bones, like hips or legs or even an arm and trying to push Ray in the wheelchair – I shudder to think about it. I did attempt a quiet day and it mostly worked. I did have Lucas this afternoon, with Trev working late in the afternoon and Edie working various shifts there are going to be times when they are both away so I will help out where I can and Edie’s Mum will do the same. We want them to be able to save money for their wedding next October and this is one way we can help out. I enjoy having Lucas here. He is full of young ideas. I enjoy supervising him jumping on the trampoline, watching old kids videos, even his endless questions, at least it is some bright conversation. It makes a change from the quieter life Ray and I seem to live now. He isn't a lot of trouble, always eats his meals etc, he has a sweet tooth but what kid doesn't? Of course he does try and cajole sugary treats out of me but years of curbing Ray’s sugar intake have made me strong and I can stand up to him…lol. It has been a fairly good day today. I am stiff and sore from the fall but the pain is bearable, it could have been so much worse. I must work on my emergency care plan again. I will have to look for the old post and maybe do another post using the information on it. We all need to have a workable plan for the “what ifs” in our lives. I’ve just done the blog report and was reading Asha’s blog on how she reacts to appreciation and criticism and realise I am the same. If someone says something nice to me I think: “they are just saying that to be nice, they don’t really mean it” but if they criticize me right away I think: “how dare they. Look at how much I do for Ray, how can they be so cruel…so inconsiderate.” And that plays on my mind for days. I need to learn to just acknowledge and move on. I am always touched just by the fact that people comment on the blogs. It means they actually read them and then sit down and write something appropriate, encouraging, praising, appreciative, giving out wise words and useful information. Sometimes some small comment will lighten the load and uplift the spirit of the blogger. It is a most beneficial and generous act on their part. So thank you, thank you, thank you to all who post a comment. It is so good to be among friends. I am sorry that some of the people who searched for their blog and finally updated us on their happenings then let them lapse and forget about blogging for a while. It means we miss out on the next exciting episode. I guess some of us are more garrulous and out-going than others. Or maybe writing a blog is a way of reflecting on your life once you have been space walking…lol.

Julie, the first year is hard, everyone says so. You and Larry have coped well so far and I am sure you will into the future. Though it is one day at a time. In 1995 we moved all three of our children, twice! Funny how you think of things like that. See you in chat. Sue.

:pokerface: I read the cards: there will be :stretcher: ah hospital in your future if you do not :coldb: keep warm, :nurse: keep a life balance ( and blood sugar too). :stuff: Eat healthy, sleep well :cloud9: :roflmao: laugh a lot. And most of all remember :cocktail: you have friends. :Beer-Chug: So that should make you :Dance: feel like dancing whatever the weather. :Help: Sue. :Hi:

I'm sure that with your determination things will happen the way you want them too. Yes, you will have to take things real slow but we know here that slow and steady wins the race. Wish I was there to start a snowball fight and have some fun. Sue.

Today was a busy day, as we had our six month's visit to the neurologist this morning. I wish I was not so tired. I am not sleeping well and am more tired than usual, probably the humidity. I shouldn't complain, with all the vision of the dreadful Queensland floods and the death and destruction there streaming onto the TV news on all channels this morning I feel as if my troubles are small. Compared with those folk I have it easy. After we saw the neurologist this morning, he had the nerve conductivity test done on Ray. Ray does not have peripheral neuropathy although that was thought to be one of the causes of the diabetic blister. So why does he have the blister? In the neurologist's opinion it is the diabetes of course. But he did point out that the blister does seem to be reabsorbing nicely. And he will give Ray a referral to a vascular surgeon so the arteries in his legs can be checked to see if there can be some improvement made there. The bad news is this morning the shower nurse left before I got back from my walk. I stopped at my son's house to tell him my sister broke the toilet window, one of the bottom louvers. So when I rang his boss, the Case Manager, she was "upset" Ray had been left on his own. Oh really???? Well me too. Of course there were lots of promises that this will never happen again. I broke down and cried in the neurologist’s office this morning when he asked Ray if he was depressed and he answered: "think so". He then asked if he sometimes thought life was no longer worth while and he answered: "a lot of the time". I'm guessing he will recommend that our doctor starts Ray on an antidepressant. He probably thinks that I need antidepressants as well. I don't really, I am fine most of the time. But when people finally "get it" then the tears tend to come to the surface. Particularly as he then asked how our family deal with all of this and that is a sore point with me at the moment with the presents still under the tree for our older son to come and pick up. His kids missed out on the family time and what can I do about that? Am I dealing with this well? I think I was doing well before Christmas but since having to use the wheelchair in the house and having so little time to myself because of the Daycare team etc being on holidays and time off in short supply, maybe the answer is "no". Luckily it is only one more week and they are back again. The neurologist said I should have Ray in Daycare two days a week now. I said I was considering another option and he said to keep Ray where he is familiar with the surroundings, and where the staff are familiar with his needs. I guess that is good advice so I will see if Daycare can give him a second day at this stage. The neurologist also suggested I use one day for visiting Mum etc and make a list of things I might like to do on the other day and suggested a massage, a trip to the movies and maybe some other treats I may have been putting off for a while. I wouldn’t mind a lunch with a girlfriend from time to time as I know how that can cheer me up. I just have to put it into place. It is strange but someone giving you “permission” to do something for yourself does help. It is almost as if he wrote me out a prescription for “me time”. Tomorrow is an easier day, some housework and then Caregiver Chat and minding Lucas some of the afternoon. Trev has a small part-time job, four hours a day relieving a cleaner for the month of January but of course Edie is a shift worker and is doing evenings this week. It never meshes well doing two jobs in a family and having an 8 year old too. GrannySue to the rescue.

Good for you Dean, you always find a way of exercising. I think it is good if you can use a machine at home rather than at the gym as you can use it any time you want to. I like the way you set goals and will be waiting to hear if you do get to the 2500 metres in a week or two. Sue.