swilkinson

Ruth, you always put your time to good use, I am amazed by what you do. I once met an old man who had trained some amazing wrestlers, some Olympic champions among them. He told me carbs before exercise and protein afterwards so the burger was a good choice on Williams part. We all do the best we can to make the time we have with our survivor useful time. Keep up the good work. Sue.

Welcome back Wes, good to know you consider you have gone back to what you considered normal prior to the stroke 2 1/2 years ago. I think Ray would have said that two years out from his first stroke, back to work, doing a lot of what he did before. Make an effort to keep your health in check and you will have many happy and successful years ahead of you. Sue.

Jeannie, it is difficult when you are taking so many medications for so many different conditions to make the figures come out right so I am glad you have a good doctor looking after you. Plan a little relaxation time, maybe sitting comfortable with music playing softly and some aromatherapy and those BP numbers will come down without tweaking your medication. :cloud9: Keep on smiling as that helps too.And laugh, because laughter is the best medicine. Sue.

Hey, a girl's night in sounds really good. I don't have that but my sister occasionally invites herself to either breakfast or dinner so I like that. Ray doesn't travel far at the moment ( diabetic blister on stroke-affected heel) so I am grateful for anyone who rings, calls or emails to help cope with the feeling of isolation. Keep on blogging, it is lovely to get to know you this way. Sue.

Leah, you are one brave lady, always trying to get back to the exercises. I'll pray that the operation goes on as planned on January 13th ( my daughter's birthday)and you really benefit from it. I 'd like you to feel these couple of nice warm hugs I am sending you (((hugs))). Sue.

Debbie, now it is my turn to worry. Where was the mention of the things you are going to do for YOU this year. It is not all about Bruce, it is all about Bruce AND Debbie. You are so efficient and I really admire you for that. You have made certain choices and are now working on your plan, that is good but please factor in some fun time for you as well. This is a hard period when you are trying to increase your workload. In the early stages of the second year was when I had a mighty reality check when I got quite ill myself. Of course I had Mum and Ray at that stage. I was fortunate I also had a friend who was a social worker and someone notified her that I was going under and that is how I got some help. So please, some "me time" for Debbie is an essential part of the plan for long term care. Sue.

I understand what you are saying but in Ray's case the comprehension just wasn't there and in the end they agreed he would walk the way he COULD instead of SHOULD. For those survivors without cognitive defects you are 100% right and this will be a real break through. Thanks for sharing it with us Dean. Sue.

I always blog when I have thought about an event and the impact has lessened. It is horrible to start a blog with: Ray might lose his leg. But that was the bottom line of our appointment with the podiatrist yesterday. The podiatrist did a lot of tests; we were with him for an hour and twenty minutes. He started off saying he could lance the diabetic blister on Ray’s left heel and finished up saying he couldn’t. Ray’s circulation is weak in both feet, a result of the diabetes not the strokes. But the strokes have contributed as his mobility is so poor and he doesn’t exercise enough to make a difference. We had an appointment to see the orthoptist, the man who actually makes the AFO (ankle-knee orthoptic or leg brace for those who don’t know). He talked to us and said the situation was bad he kept repeating this until I wanted to scream. I do know poor circulation plus leg ulcers or an infected diabetic blister equals amputation. Then he got the podiatrist to come in and they said they will form a team to oversee Ray’s care and I could see the podiatrist in two weeks time and the orthoptist if I needed to. The podiatrist gave me a dressing to put on the blister if it bursts and said to ring and ask for him rather than just going to Accident and Emergency. We talked briefly about seeing a vascular surgeon if we needed to and it was over for this visit. I was devastated, Ray was unaware of what we had discussed as usual. I know there are some things in life you can’t control but I am in the habit of banging my head against the current brick wall. It is my Irish bravado and my Scottish stubbornness. I can never give up without a fight. It is the only way I can handle things. I emailed Debbie and she sent me a “wait and see “ answer. That is the right thing to do. I need to just let nature take it’s course and things might work out okay. So I am confined to barracks more or less for another six weeks. For Ray that is okay while the sun is shining and he can go out on his verandah in the morning and do his word puzzles. It is me that will miss going out, our plans for the beach and the picnics by the lake etc all out the window now. But whatever will be will be. I have tentatively booked some respite for Ray in February, I figure by then I will be climbing walls. It is only the usual two weeks but by then I might be needing a time in an asylum, if there is still one of those around. I could quite easily go mad with just Ray and me and nowhere to go. All the respite places he goes to are booked up till then and I didn’t want to put him in somewhere he hasn’t previously been. I have been worried about Ray and so haven’t really been paying attention here as much as I usually do. I apologize to anyone whose blog I haven’t commented on, or whose post I have failed to answer in my usual way. I do love you and pray for you but my mind has been trapped here for a while. I have told our three children, I told them of the possibility and the present reality. It is all I can do and then “wait and see”. I will mourn my lost summer when all of this is over

Jillian I have replied on your thread. Just wanted to say you will go on my prayer list. Always room for one more. Sue.

Bill, glad you found your blog and dusted the spiders off it. Always great to catch up on your news again. Take it slow with your new lady and learn to laugh at the same things and things should go well. Sue.

Katrina, your post is so positive. You are really motivated and that is so good to hear. I'll pray you get some more use of your left side with all you are doing to make it so. Sue.

Hi mlp, welcome to blogworld, part of the cybernet global village. We will be happy to get to know you through your blogs and share your ups and down. Sounds as if the kindle was just what you needed for Christmas, reading has so many advantages, I love to read and call January reading month as most appointments etc don't start up until the end of January and that gives me so much more time to do the things I want to do. Be glad you've joined a wonderful community where people happily give so much support and share their lives together. Sue.

What is a New Year without Resolutions? Here it is the 2nd of January and I am sitting down to make mine. Well okay, these aren’t mine. I was talking to a friend at church today and they are his: healthy, wealthy and wise. I asked him why he had chosen these three words and he said he had had a suspected heart attack so had a few specialists appointments to get a general health check and had also made an appointment with a dietician to get some idea of what he should and should not be eating. He said he wants to live a few more healthy retirement years. I asked him about wealthy and he said he had made a few wrong decisions and found himself without money just before Christmas. He said for that reason he had volunteered to go to a local charity event and feed the homeless as that meant he didn’t have to cook a Christmas dinner he really couldn’t afford. Wow, for someone relatively well off that really got to me. It is so easy to spend more than you really should around Christmas so it is his plan that this year he will not make big purchases in the later quarter of the year so he will have more money available for Christmas. And wise I asked? Yes he said: “I’ve stopped talking to God and those around me about what I am doing. I didn’t seek advice and get some tips, so I bought a more expensive entertainment set-up than I could afford, not the best value for money.” From my point of view healthy is important. I am always posting little snippets of advice for others, I also have to listen to them myself. So when I tell one of the caregivers to take more “me time” I have to do the same. When I tell them to “get a good night’s sleep” that counts for me too. I need to let others know my needs and make sure I get some of them met – even if I have to take some of my “free time” to get a massage, go to the pool and exercise, or go for a walk on the beach. My health is important. It is important to me and important to Ray. If I am not in good health it is harder to look after Ray. If I can’t look after Ray we will suffer financially. I am already wealthy. Not in financial terms although we have enough to meet the majority of our needs. I am wealthy in friends, support and care. I do have access to subsidized care for Ray, only five hours a week but that is better than nothing. I do have access to other services through the package for pensioners the government provides. I know we have better access to health care here than in a lot of other countries, So we are wealthy in having what we need to live a comfortable life. And I wise? Yes I am and the more I listen to others and seek answers among those who have been through what I am going through, the wiser I get. So thank you to all who contribute to my posts, comment on my blogs, post information I need or simply share their own experiences here. Your wisdom contributes to my wisdom and indeed makes me wise. Because I am healthy,wealthy and wise I am able to direct my energies where they are most needed. I should be better able to adjust to different circumstances. It is hard when something like the diabetic blister on Ray’s heel necessitates him having to be in the wheelchair even in the house but I should be able to adjust to that. It is not forever, just 6-8 weeks. And if I ask for extra support during that time I should not get to feel like a prisoner in my own home. I should manage to get out enough to combat that. We who are on the stroke journey as survivor or caregiver have a harder road than most of follow. But we are overcomers not losers. We have had the opportunity to stretch ourselves and grow that we wouldn’t otherwise have had if we had had work dominate our waking hours. And here we have companions on the journey so we are not alone. So if you have not made resolutions why not take mine and see yourself as healthy, wealthy and wise?

MaryJo welcome to blogworld, a place to get to know others in a more deep and meaningful way. As you say New Years Day is a great time to start out on a new enterprise. I pray for you that the move goes snoothly. A house that the wheelchair goes through is what I need right now too as Ray's has difficulty negotiating from the kitchen to the back area where the toilet is located so he can get so far through and then calls me. There are many adventures ahead of us in 2011 so we look forward to sharing them with you here. :You-Rock: Sue.

Happy New Year Fred, may 2011 be all you want it to be. (((hugs))) from Sue.

:hug: Yes we did. Just farewelled the last two in chat. Kimmie was the host for the whole night. Goodnight America and God Bless you all. Sue.

Ray and I went to a warm pool for about 18 months,although he was enthusiastic at first in the end he complained more and more until I said we would stop going. I think the contrast with the humid air inside and the cold air outside was too much for him. And he got so tired. I was able to do some exercises as I helped him do his exercises. Just try to keep moving if it is only jogging on the spot. If Larry stays motivated it will make such a difference. Sue.

Thank you so much for your kind wishes Stessie. I too wish for good health and happiness for all of us here at Strokenet. You are such a joy to know, your attitude is wonderful and I hope that as Ray's troubles increase I too can bounce back like you. (((hugs))) from Sue.

MC, things can change for the better, all the signs are there. I am so glad you son Dan was gallant enough to stay and look after the women in his family. That is a sign of a good man, that he is kind to women. Yes, I am sure 2011 will be a great year for you all. Sue.

Yes, Karen my friend as always you and Bill are in my prayers. Sue.

Wow Lenny, you are a marathon party man for sure. I am so glad it is a good few days for you and yep, after January 2nd you are on a diet and have a lot of extra exercise to do to get rid of that Santa tummy! I have had so many lovely blogs since I asked for them as my secret Christmas gift. So thank you for adding to my joy. Sue.

Fred, God with a Father's heart always cares. So glad you and your household follow in God's ways. I am so glad you blogged this, you have a preacher's heart. (((Hugs))) from Sue.

Jeannie, what an absolutely marvellous blog. I could have been sitting right next to you sharing that hot toddy with you. Thank you so much. I was born in England and lived there till aged seven when we came Down Under to our summer Christmas. So I do have memories of those winter Christmases too. (((hugs))) from Sue.

The season of good will is over for another year. We had two close encounters with cars on our way to my sisters around noon today, both cars forcing their way into traffic where they should have waited. The season of summer selfishness has begun. We did have a good Christmas Day though. We went to church at our usual time and then off to see Mum. She was mostly asleep so we only stayed a short time and then came home as planned. We had some morning tea and I got us a great lunch, seafood done as a Mornay with fresh salads, followed by fresh fruit salad and Ray had ice cream. Ray had an afternoon nap and I watched an old Christmas movie as you do Christmas afternoon. Trevor came over with the pork roast about 4.30pm. By then I had cooked caramelized vegetables to go with the roast beef and chicken I had cooked earlier. We were just sitting around chatting and I heard a familiar baritone singing Christmas carols out the front. Our son-in-law, daughter and family had surprised us, arriving at 5.30pm after having done a Christmas service in the citadel at Shell Harbour and had lunch with his mother and brother in Sydney. We had a lovely evening meal, nibbles first and when Edie arrived back from work at about 8pm we had an evening meal. The kids who had been eating all day, only had to have some meat and then were allowed dessert as Christmas brings special privileges. It was lovely to find out Shirley and family planned to stay overnight. They left to go south again after going to church with us this morning. We all have good days and bad days, I have to admit to that too. Because of Ray’s health worries I feel as if life is getting me down again. It isn't as good as I'd like it to be right now. Ray has the bad heel, he is likely to continue to have vascular problems caused by diabetes, the doctor says there is nothing we can do about it. He might not heal; he might lose his leg etc. I get so tired of supporting him in all of this. I really just want to walk away from it but that is not fair to him. We said for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. After church we went to my sister's place, a lovely five bedroom home set on an acreage. We went with our younger son and his family, our older son was also there. He hardly spoke to us. He and his family didn't come to see us yesterday for Christmas Day. He seems to want to separate himself and family from us. Both our sons were raised with love. I wonder what happens to that love, does it fade and die in some people? My sister and her family gather on Boxing Day each year to celebrate together. There is always lots of food and laughter. Our nieces and nephews and their families all treat us kindly. I guess they have their own lives and don't think of us much but always seem glad when we appear among them. Surprisingly they are all church going families. They have interests like music and community building. I would say on the whole that theirs is not as devoted a generation as we were to values and family etc. But I guess they are the exception as is Shirley and family. I think Trevor and Edie have the same potential. I have been brooding about the apparent lack of interest in us of our older son and his family. I love all my grandchildren but I can’t mind the little boys. I’ve blogged about that before. So of course we are not useful to them now. I have to get over all of this as I can't afford to carry a load of bitterness as I need to use all my energies on Ray's health issues. The family problems will have to resolve themselves. Sometimes I wish there was more I could do to solve the problems of the rest of the world but I can't even manage my own. My sister gave me a nice surprise. A picture of the two of us aged 15 and 18 ready to go to a ball. Of course the photo was black and white but she remembered her dress was blue background, white polka dots with a blue satin sash and mine she thought was pink but I remembered it was apple green, Empire line with a tiny train as it had formerly been a bridesmaid's frock, a friend gave it to me. Those memories of happier times sustain us when the going gets tough. We are lucky to have someone share them with us to remind us that we were once much different to what we are today.