swilkinson

Are we there yet? That used to be a familiar cry from the back seat of the car when the children were little. I wish we had some sort of road map with this Covid-19 so we could see where we are going. More cases in Victoria so they are going into stage 4 restrictions. Doesn't seem as if the general population are taking the virus precautions seriously and so it is spreading again. I guess with less than 200 deaths in Australua it doesn't seem much of a threat but I do wonder when we are over this if the stories of who died, who sustained permanent disabilities, who will never work again etc will come out or whether we will just "move on with our lives"? Today I had a Telehealth call from my doctor, I had paperwork to fill in so I dropped it at the medical practice. I want to help out with our charity shop at church but need a medical clearance to do so. Got a phone call late this afternoon to say he can't make the decision as it is up to my specialist. This is the thyroid specialist. I dont see him till mid September so will have to put off the decision till then. I'm guessing it is about my immune system and meeting a lot of people whose medical conditions are unknown could be a problem. And I thought I would be in perfect health by now so why is that suddenly a problem? Everything seems like such a hassle! We are told what to do, how to do it and when to do it. Of course if we are sensible we know this is to protect ourselves and others. I deal with a lot of people in their 80s and 90s with pastoral care and know that their health depends on who they meet, who they talk to, who has time to look after them. The lady I take to church who is legally blind has been told that her daughter, who works in one of the Sydney hot spots, cannot visit her or her Carers, who come in daily to help her dress etc cannot come to her house as they may be exposed to danger. Of course she is upset about that and I can't blame her as her daughter is a great support to her especially emotionally. I also belong to a site for widows and widowers and a lot of people on that site are in a similar situation to me with family a long way away and no-one close to help out when we need help. So far I have managed to do most things I need to do with the exception of running repairs. Trev does a bit when he comes down but there is always something that breaks down as soon as he leaves. I am reluctant to have strangers in to do jobs so unless I can get a personal recommendation generally find a way around the problem. This is not always doable but so far I have managed to keep my independence. A friend pointed out that "at my age" I need to look to the future. Bah humbug! Easy to say until you're in the same position yourself. In a way I am in the same position I was in when I looked after Ray but the person with the problem is me! But there is no nice caregiver here to look after me, which is the dilemma of every ex-caregiver. I am at least blessed with friends of a similar age so now and again it is my turn to let off steam and complain about what I am going through. I have several groups of friends I meet up with on a regular basis and I know we are all missing our meet ups. As a lot of Covid-19 cases seem to be connected to cafes and Clubs we are not eating out much and that is part of the loss we are feeling. And the lack of simple human contact the handshakes, the hugs, the air kisses are all taking a toll. We are humans and need contact with other humans. I do go to church on Sunday's but we socially distance, sit on the "pink stars" the spots elected to be the appropriate spacing from each other, no singing, no talking, no handshakes and moving out of the building and straight into our cars after church. It is nothing like we had formerly. I personally am missing the fellowship we enjoyed, the talking in groups catching up on all the news, the morning teas etc. That feeling of being part of an informal family comes from that form of bonding. And it is the same with Lions,we go in, eat dinner, listen to a couple of voices standing the recommended distance away and home we go. No fellowship.I hope at the end of this we are able to recapture that feeling again. So where is the roadmap? Where does it say "head this way"? Where is Superman to the rescue? Back to the one-day-at-a-time thinking. We are here but there is no magic X to show where here is. And I think our leaders are as lost as we are so we are truly all in this (mess) together.

Janelle I am sorry your brother can't come for a visit. This Covid-19 is dividing families, we still don't know if my grandkids in Adelaide will be able to come up for the school holidays, we hope so as their mother and I haven't seen them since January.

Mike, life is uncertain these days and now you have this to cope with as well. No advice except to take each day as it comes. If you are close enough see your brother as often as you can, make new memories, find something that makes you both laugh. If the worst happens you will remember the happy memories. The dream of going fishing may still come true, none of us knows what the future holds.

Nancy I thought it was a brave move when you brought Dan home but it has worked out for you. I am so pleased some of your family will be closer , I'd love that to happen but doesn't look like it will. Another grand baby is welcome news too. Not sure about the moving away while renovations are happening but you would know best how that will work out for you. Thanks for a blog filled with good news when the media is so full of bad news. (((hugs))) from Sue.

Weeks come and go for me, roughly the same routine each week but there are variables and as you say meals are one of them. I have been in my garden this morning, no vegetable apart from salad greens this time of the year but plenty of shrub pruning to do. Out in the winter sun is good while it lasts. You are doing just fine, I can relate to the imbalance as Ray had so many falls over the years, broken shoulders, pelvis, ribs etc. He would be fine for a while and when he got to feeling well would simply forget he had had a stroke and do something that caused a fall. Can't say I would have been different as an ageing brain does the same for me. Of course I can still do that. Nope!

Sorry you had an accident, not that hard to do. Hopefully you will have your full strength back by next week. Having your full stride back will be an advantage in many ways.

I also think it is lovely to get up early in summer to enjoy the morning activities but then I find I am tired by late afternoon. Morning oversleeping is one of my winter problems though as I wake up and decide just a few minutes more ...zzz... and wake up an hour later! But if I go down for a nap too late in the afternoon I wake up after dark and wonder what day it is! Done that a few times this winter. Thank goodness my phone has the time and date on it, pity it can't cook dinner as well.

My condolences too George and Lesley. She will be miss by you and family in New Zealand. Be glad she didn't suffer towards the end and finished her life as she lived it. One day you will be able to return to New Zealand with be ashes Lesley and complete her journey. Blessings to you and your family.

Asha, you get the award for stickability, good for you. I understand kiddo running out of goodwill, when Trevor lived with us I would have a list of things I needed help with. He would do some of them and he would say: " Last job for a while Mum." And that was fine. Your family will admire you for being resourceful and even if they don't actually say it will revere you for it.

I think I have reached an age where I can justify an afternoon nap. Because of the reconfigured muscle behind my left leg due to the melanoma operation I get tired if I stand too much so I take an afternoon nap fairly regularly. This is ideal in winter when snuggling under a rug feels good and the bleak wind blowing outside makes having a nap under a rug seem like a good use of time. Today is Friday so housework, catching up on phone calls, maybe a bit of gardening and an afternoon nap to top it off seems like a good idea. In summer I always feel I should be doing something with all that lovely daylight but in winter I just do what I can. We are in another Covid-19 period. States are closing down again. The State of Victoria and my own State of New South Wales are particularly affected at the moment. Nowhere close to me thank goodness. But with people moving around in the last days if the school holidays that could change. Our lovely Central Coast has always been a draw card for visitors escaping from Sydney. I don't blame them because in the late 50s we came to the Coast following friends who had settled here. I guess there are waves of settlers from the city who deserve to come here but the peace and tranquility seems to have been replaced by modernisation with all its problems. I enjoyed having Alice and Trevor here for a week, the first week of the winter school holidays. Of course it was not beach weather but Trevor took Alice to her favourite beach and of course Alice still went in the water, provisionally to get a bucket of water to fill her sand castle moat of course. There was a small carnival at The Entrance and we spent an afternoon there, watching her enjoy the rides. My grandchildren from South Australia weren't allowed interstate but we had Shirley and kids down on Sunday and went to lunch with Aunty Pamela on Wednesday. That is about as exciting as it got but they enjoyed the break from the stark red soil of Broken Hill. For Trevor meeting up with a couple of his friends with their wives and children after six years was the highlight of his stay. Some of our grey nomads managed to go to Queensland while the border was briefly open so I expect some of my friends will be posting their blue sky photos on their Facebook pages to the envy of those of us that don't have the opportunity to do the same. I feel very earth bound at the moment. I had won a trip down to Canberra for two in a slogan contest last year, three days at the end of September and was to take my grand daughter Naomi with me. I got notified on Monday that due to Covid etc the trip has been cancelled. I admit for a couple of days I was in low spirits, I had been so looking forward to that trip particularly the Tulip Festival in the Commonwealth Gardens which is a wonderful sight. Just being away from home with the end of the shut down maybe in sight was something worthy of my thoughts. Now that is at an end. So where does dreaming come in? I remember a Bible verse from my Sunday school days : " Your young men will see visions and your old men will dream dreams." And I think this applies to my life now. It may seem as if that last good chapter of life as we know it has closed and there is nothing good in our foreseeable future, but that is never true. Life will go on. Mundane for now but there may still be good times ahead. I had a dream last night that I was out in a boat skimming along a river, I often did that when we lived in Karuah as Ray would take me out when he went to speak to his oyster farmers. I felt the sun on my face and the wind in my hair. It was a good feeling and one I would like to have again one day. We must go on planning and dreaming and one day maybe some of those dreams will come true. But we have been here before haven't we? Misfortune comes in so many forms and somehow those of us who are older manage to muddle through. My mother used to tell us kids her tales of deprivation during the Second World War, she was in an outer suburb of London during the Blitz. She lived with her mother-in-law as her flat had been confiscated. She worked in a munitions factory by day and rolled bandages for the Red Cross at night. Some of her stories of bombing raids killing friends or distant family were sad but she always said: " It could have been worse. We survived didn't we?". And we will survive this too. So keep cheerful. Keep going. And if all else fails have a nap.

I'm impressed by the tomatoes, I only plant two or three plants and I am thrilled if I get six or more. Do you make your tomatoes into sauces, chutneys, jams etc? We have Italian friends who put away enough in the freezer to make dishes with pasta all winter. Glad you are noticing the improvements now and finding most tasks doable. Don't worry about the tiredness that may lessen as you get stronger.

Wow Sue that is incredible! To paint as well as you do now, to have new ambitions, new ways of thinking. You certainly have come a long way from as you put it: "laying on the ground with dirt all around me". I am glad you enjoy the chat it has been wonderful for so many people especially in the sense of finding they are not alone. My Mum painted for many years but dementia took that from her. Looking back I wish I had encouraged her to go on whatever the results had been. Thank you for this blog, you never know who will take inspiration from it and it may change their life too.

I am glad that you had the celebration for Gary and it was great that so many could be graveside with you. Carmen and RED were special to make that effort and that shows you how much they appreciated Gary and you. Stay cool in that hot weather, we had those temperatures when we lived at Narrandera and a night swim in our above ground pool was a real blessing.

Kev, nice to see an Aussie style wind powered water pumping windmill in your photo. Does it make a scraping noise like the ones out west of here? Love the rustic look of your garden.

How very sad suicide is. It is why I did Lifeline telephone counselling as one of my dear friends committed suicide over a debt he owed. Lifeline as a suicide prevention line probably saved a lot of people at the "just thinking about it" stage. We on this site have learned so much through our encounter with stroke as a survivor or caregiver and it has toughened us up and taught us to appreciate life just as it is. We have support here and that counts for a lot.

Nothing lasts forever, this embargo on moving state to state or country to country will pass too. Congratulations on your stroke anniversary.

We have cane toads in some parts of Australia but not here. I used to hear frogs in the swamp down the road but they covered the swamp with houses so no more frogs. They call that progress! You have had a busy week doing your odd jobs, keep up the good work.

ASHA, so💖 those unexpected visits from family.You have raised a thoughtful young man. Hope your husband had a good weekend. And that you enjoyed some mother and son time too. Good time for building those precious memories for when he is away from home and you are thinking of him.

Talking to a couple of older friends today and it seems going out is quite a strain on people of my age or older, particularly those who live alone. Why are we suddenly so timid? These are not weak or ill people but people I think of as still in the prime of life. It seems the Covid-19 virus has scared us into a kind of agraphobia. Not something I thought about as a consequence of a plague-like illness. So how do we get our confidence back?

I have been out twice this week, today to a morning tea that was supposed to last two hours and actually lasted four! This was the Stroke Recivery group and I think we have all missed each other's company so much we were reluctant to leave without saying what we wanted to say to each other. It was a great event for me as I recognised other people needs are different from mine. Reminding me I do need to be less selfish and be there for others.

Sarah, the Covid virus has put so much of our lives on hold. I think for me it has been a break from an over busy life but I have been feeling VERY lonely not all the time but sometimes for a few days at a time. I understand your needs and returning to Colorado to honour Gary, even if with so few people present will put your mind at rest. Sending you a hug and all my love. Sue.

I don't know about you but I am a bit scared about venturing out again. After 13 weeks my thoughts about being out in the community have changed so my question to anyone wanting me to go anywhere is : "Is it safe? And is it necessary?" Not that I am unwilling to go anywhere but I also want what I do to be for a purpose. I think before Covid-19 struck I just went out, anywhere, everywhere, filling in time, now I don't want to do that anymore. I have actually grown used to being home and going out now takes more of an effort. I was like that many years ago when Ray was with me and getting him ready to go out was such a big deal. The criteria for going out was: "Is it necessary, does it have to be done today?" I think most caregivers would relate to that and a lot of survivors who know the cost of getting ready to go out in terms of energy and effort. I am back to that now. Is going somewhere worth the effort? Okay I am an extrovert and a social butterfly by nature but I have had the taste of another kind of life and I am not sure I want to give that up. So what has changed for you since the self isolating effect of the Pandemic took hold? Were there good things about that period of time or only bad things? I know some of my friends took up baking in a big way, some decluttered, some found new friends by contacting old friends on Zoom or some other social media platform. Some of the older widows have found it hard, loneliness and sometimes depression have been the result of too much isolation. We as a church have been maintaining contact as best we can, mostly by phone and I have done that with my own friends too. Some people have actually found new ways of keeping in touch with family. Thanks to Trevor I benefitted from Kid's Messenger visits with Alice. I also have been going to Zoom church not with my own church but the church I go to in Armidale when I visit friends there. By attending their Zoom services I have got to know more about the 20 or so people involved. I know when I opened up the Zoom meeting site for the first time it was scary but within a couple of weeks it was routine. Sadly last week I had to say goodbye to them as my church started up services this past Sunday and that is where my loyalties lie. Our community is opening up again. We are allowed to go to a lot of venues now to dine, to meet up for coffee etc. Again some people choose to do so, some do not. I must say it is still not something I want to do a lot of. For one reason the prices of meals have risen considerably and the quality has not. I hope that form of profit taking gradually stops, after all no business can expect people to come out for meals if it is beyond the price they budgeted for. If they wish to have customers that go away satisfied there has to be value for money. Maybe that is my Scottish ancestors speaking...lol. Our Lions Club had a picnic in the park last Saturday to finalise the 2019/2020 Board. I will go on again as I do the Lions Club of Killarney-Bateau Facebook page. Our Club usually gives away a lot of money to various community organisations but this year we will give out some but wait and see how future fund raising efforts can be worked out. We have not raised any money in the last three months and don't know what we will be able to do in the near future. With our Christmas raffle money going to various appeals for fire and drought relief we know we have to raise more before we can give it away. All the other organisations I belong to still have meetings on hold. All venies have to be cleaned thoroughly after use and small groups cannot satisfy the requirements so it is either meet in public venues or not meet at all. In most cases where what is said at meetings is confidential meeting in a public place is not suitable. So there is a wait and see attitude. As I am not in a hurry to return to a busy life this is not a problem but on the other hand that means less charity money raised and less service to the needy available. It is a dilemma when so many of our dedicated fundraisers are over 70 now. So for me it is still making cat mats, knitting scarfs, hopefully for those who need them when our welfare giving starts again, gardening and reading, the things that I use to fill in time until the next stage of lessening restrictions start. I missed the hand shakes and hugs at church on Sunday. I missed the singing and the fellowship we enjoy at morning tea after the service. With all the social distancing rules still in place so much has changed. I wonder if this will take away the fellowship we so enjoy there? Hopefully our natural inclination to be friendly will still show through. Anyway we have survived this far, despite our seeming timidity and apprehension.

I used to really kick out at changes in my life as you know but now as I age I tend to think okay I have coped with worse and wait to see what will happen. It is wisdom born of pain as the song says. So maybe we do waste a lot of time being anxious and worried and angry but we are human and frail and often uncertain both about life and our own ability to deal with it. We do learn but it is a slow process.