swilkinson

Oh dear!! Spots are no fun and so close to the wedding.

Hope you come out really healthy after this Vicky. I've ordered a 2006 that will exceed all our best and finest years. For you too.

Sue.

Hi Pam

Had a similar day myself yesterday but persevered and finished up getting a lot done. Use you energy to clean out cupboards or some other task you hate doing. Throwing things on the ground always helps me...lol

I think this is just post Christmas blues. Nothing much to excite us in life.

You can always say: Bah!! Humbug!!

Sue.

And we are different kinds of people from all around the world, with different experiences. We come here to share a small part of our lives with each other.

The problem we have in common is strokes and the effects and deficits.So that is what we all can share. How we deal with that. It is good to feel supported by people who know what you are on about.

Happy days, myworld, and good health too throughout the year.

Sue.

Ray went into chat for the first time today. Thanks to Bonnie for coming in specially and to Sudz and Gary Gray who also interacted with Ray.

He as so nervous, he hasn't yet visualised that he is chatting to people so far apart from each other and so far removed from us.

I hope he will get the hang of it and enjoy the expereince. So thanks to all who will help him in this way.

Sue.

Thanks friends for the posts. I do try to accept but sometimes it is a battle to come to terms with changes and challenges and I do feel angry, upset, uncomfortable and just plain MAD with life. Not necessarily with Ray but with him sometimes too.

For carers like me whose loved one has had multiple strokes it seems as if you just reach acceptance and the ground opens up under your feet once more. I want to be able to plan ahead just a little way, do some more travelling, dine out with friends, have some 50+ FUN!!! But it isn't easy to do given Ray's limitations.

I guess I'll just see what life brings.

Cheers, Sue.

Pam

It's good the bill paying days are the exception not the rule!!

We have these marathons too, but it is good to go home, put the feet up, sip the cup of coffee and say:"I achieved something today."

And yes, you are better off now.

Sue.

Hope "having the whole family together" was al you hoped it would be.

We did too and it was a wonderful day.

Sue.

Susan

Ray's emotions are "locked in" so he doesn't cry and he hardly ever laughs, all he manages is a smile. Maybe Rolly's tears were the equivalent of Ray's angry outburst just before Christmas and just signified that he was tired, stressed and overwhelmed by all the rush and excitement.

Hang in there my friend.

Sue.

Vix

There are so many memories attached to Christmas, a word can trigger an emotional response for me, a mention of past friends, family, or even the future. It may be a happy memory, even a funny one but at the end of a long day can bring me to tears.

Glad you have Greg and will think of you planning that lovely wedding you are going to have.

Yes Phyllis I know a nursing home is not the answer. I may get more help around February when my social worker gets her act together.

The problem of Ray's deteriorating mind is that his uncertainty is making him more irratable, less co-operative so slows everything down. He also like to be my number one priority.

I think I'll have to change my signature to:

Not retired, just tired.

Phyllis

I guess us older folk are a pain to buy for. Ray was surprised to get a set of towels (I think they were meant for me) but appreciated a DVD of old comedy movies.

Packing away all but the decorations today, they come down on 6th January (Twelfth Night) in our household, if they haven't fallen down by then LOL.

Ask for what you want next year, give out the list and see how your nearest and dearest react to that.

Sue.

Nice grievance.

Sue.

I think Chritsmas is hard for a lot of us because we have a "Brady Bunch" outlook on it. Our first Christmas after Ray's strokes in 1999 was a difficult one Dad had cancer, Mum had dementia, Ray was only just starting to be mobile. But it turned out to be the last one for my Dad so I was glad I made the effort.

Just enjoy the day for what it is. It can be a time when we give way to the memories of the past, but we need to enjoy the present too. None of us know just what is around the corner, good or bad so I try to do my best with each new day.

Sue.

What wonderful news that all is well with Joe and with you. Will be thinking of you and your family over the next few days and hope you find pleasure in each others company.

May 2006 be all you wish it to be.

Sue.

I think it was Emerson ho wrote it down but he must have read it in much older material. It is one of my favourites too.

I never thought of success as even achievable, wasn't brought up that way. Dad always said:"Just do your best and be satisfied with that." So that feeling that what you have done is your best work is my mark of success I guess.

Sue.

Hey Fred

It's not the number of bulbs that counts, it's what lights up your life.

You got the Spirit, never forget that.

Sue.

My son said to tell you it's not lost, it's just on a back-up disc somewhere.

Hope you find it again.

Sue.

Fred, good on you for being an active advocate. Ray and I never go to the theater as he can't sit that long, we hire an occassional movie and watch it at home, but he really isn't interested.

Now he is in a wheelchair a lot of the time I avoid places that don't have disabled parking. Got myself wedged in the one and only tiny space available at the radiography place on Wednesday and had to back all the way out, ooh! It's a wonder Ray didn't go gray overnight as reversing is not my best thing.

Add my advice for Christmas shopping. If you are sitting with shopping bags in front of you watch them all, it's easy for soomeone to sit next to you and pck up the one closest to them without you noticing. A friend of mine lost a bag full of presents that way one year.

Sue.

Ray's favourite part of shopping is our stop at Cookieman for his hot chocolate and two cookies (we call them biscuits). He makes that chocolate last a long time and really enjoys it. We grocery shopped today, will finish Christmas purchases early next week. School will be out, visitors up in their thousands to enjoy the beautiful Central Coast and the place will be packed to the rafters. Roll on February.

Sue.

By the power granted to me as "Deputy Wish Fairy" you hereby are given a new look at life, a 2nd chance at a happy, happy life.Just get on with it as best you can, fake it till you make it.

Go girl go.

Hope that works, I'm a bit rusty at this.

Sue.

Ray and I were married 38years last July. So I know some of what you feel. Where you arewith Rolly's health is not a good place but things get better or you get used to them and they become the "new normal".

Ray and I love our grandchildren, haven't seen muh of the two Sydney ones this year but that may change. It is harder when you have some-one who finds it hard to stay in a strange place and they are two storey. Still, we have had a good life together and hope it continues that way.

Congratulations to you both for this feat of endurance!!

Sue.

Fred, these youth are Australian born, many have hard working parents but are often brought up in the "old ways" including it seems despising their fellow Australians, the ones who had made the country the way it was when their parents and grandparents came here.

We seem to have become so "multinational" and "politically correct" these days that we have forgotten what it means to be Austrlian. I think each country has the right to retain its own "flavour" and what political correctness is doing is trying to destroy that. I went to my last Scripture classes in school today and there is very little there to show Christmas is coming. In past years there were decorations, maybe a tree in the corner, signs, posters all kinds of glitz and glitter. Ths year there is nothing. It looks like a government building, not a happy place for kids.

I think all this controversy is stealing something from us that we have always held dear, the right to celebrate our festivals in our own way.

Sue.

Riots on the beach in OZ, youths with too much time on their hands and new settlers bringing the grievances of the past to their new land, bad combination. The police have let the situation get out of hand and are now trying to rein it in, luckily no fatalities.

Sue, near the beaches, 90kms north of Sydney.

Funny Pam LOL.

But seriously, with the mental health question I was thinking that tonight as my grand daughter and her kindy class graduated, of the 31 how many would be mentally ill, have strokes, heart attacks etc. I think it is so well known now that the odds are against us going from the cradle to the grave WELL that we look and say "Who will be the lucky ones?"

Ahhh! Pam your list reminded me of studying Ethics in the early 90's. I said to my lecturerer: "I don't understand this." He answered: "My dear girl, just understand enough to answer an exam question on them if you need to." Very sound advice.

Now I don't read anything more highbrow than I need to, I prefer non-fiction, biographies and an occassional murder mystery. If I want wisdom I can come here and read Jean's blogs.

Take it easy shopping. Never spend all you have on the one day.

Sue.