swilkinson

Just since May this year when Ray had another slight stroke he has had more swallowing difficulties. I find now that when we are eating out we really had to think about what he likes that can be chopped up small enough for him to eat and enjoy.

Aspiration is such a problem if you choke that it takes more effort to eat out when you know that is always a possiblitlty. Good on you both for your fortitude in achieving yet another milestone.

Yes, I'd give the waitress a big tip too!!

Sue.

Had a scorcher yesterday, it hit 40 degrees celcius, 105 fahrenheit. Just survived that one, very hard to get the cooler air into the house last night though. So found it hard to get to sleep.

Then today it was a bit cooler and so we were able to do a bit more. This afternoon took Ray and our grand daughter to a friend's pool and she had a lovely time splashing me and we spent about forty minutes in the water.

No pool here at home but a few friends with one so this summer they will see a lot of us.

Glad you can make this summer a summer of fun.

Sue.

WW2 started in 1939, America came in in 1941. The Brits went into the war to defend Poland and stop Germany taking over the rest of Europe. I guess the reasons for going to war are usually good ones at the time. The reasons for staying in not so good. I feel sorry now for those whose sons and daughters are killed because of war, both the few soldiers and the many civilians.

When we pray for peace at Christmas we pray against those who think violence is the answer. But we also pray for those who defend our freedom by using violence.

Life is an enigma.

Sue.

Happy Yuletide, y'all.

Hope your Xmas is bonzer, beaut and brings you heaps of pressies.

Hope 2007 is the best ever.

All who celebrate some other holiday, YEEEAAA to that too.

Bit hard to get impressed with drifting snow while we have temps over 100F but I'm doing my best here. Some Aussies even put artificial frosting on their windows. I guess that is because their ancestors came from England and Europe and there is a kind of nostalgia for the Christmases from that part of the world.

There wasn't a celebration among Aboriginal tribes for a festive season, only community gatherings, secret women's/men's business etc.

So everything Christmas celebrated here came with the settlers.

Of course now we are so multinational there are people who don't want us celebrating Christmas but to be fair what did they come here for if we were so contra to their culture?

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year.

Sue.

Me too. Sometimes some of the comments I make are leftovers from my Susie Sunshine days.

Life is a bitch sometimes for all carers and I'd be the last to deny that. I can scream, yell and wave my arms in the air with the best of them when I am having a "why is this happening to me and Ray day"

And sometimes I do "blame" Ray for what after all was not his fault, but a combination of factors beyond his control.

Hang in there Butch.

Sue.

I had trouble with the respite carer I had for Mum when she was here. It was ony three hours but she actually left Mum alone! I rang the agency siting personal differences, she was replaced by a lady who still stops and says hello when she sees us.

Personal dignity is important to the surivor and if it was Ray I would be setting a video trap if just asking for someone else doesn't work.

Sue.

And I've just been outside bringing in the clothes off the line and comlaining about the heat!

Sue.

Ray and I moved around a bit with his job and it takes time for people to do more than say "hi" whether you are disabled or not. One small town we lived in I made a couple of good friends but just as we were leaving a neighbour came and said:"If I'd known you were going to stay this long I would have been more friendly!" Could not believe that one!

Anyway, if anyone shows the slightest interest, follow it up. Join some charity fund-raising group, help out at the school or hospital, anywhere there are people who care about others they are likely to care for you. Some people care about money, promotion, possessions , they don't have time for the disabled.

I have some lovely friends built up over many years, some moved away from us, some we moved away from, but thanks to email we still can keep in touch.

Good luck with your job and your decision making.

Sue.

Storms blow over. Stroke survivors get better. Not fully recovered, but better, something we can cope with. We just have to live through the time.

Sue.

Hospital dieticians are sometimes a good source of information on this subject. Osteoporosis is a result of sudden weight loss so a real concern for people like your husband and my Ray who lost his appetite for a while, reasons unknown.

I've tried a soft diet with Ray, casseroles, soups with bread or croutons added, all fairly mild.

A friend whos husband had cancer tried having a few of his favourite dishes pre-prepared and in the freezer waiting in case he fancied something. Her DIL berated her for feeding him pizza but it was what he requested.

Good luck with this new phase, we are all thinking of you.

Sue.

I'll put in my 2 cents worth. I'm a pro-God person and when I say I'll pray for you I do mean I'll send you my positive thought for your healing, I wish you all the good things in life etc.

Keep positive about life and it makes all the difference.

My faith in a higher power who I refer to as God certainly keeps me centered. Like it does your grandmother.

Don't sweat the small things.

Sue.

Hi Virginie

Don't you just hate those long medical days? We have them too. You don't have to like it, just DO IT!!

Sue.

Got a new prayer for you Pam:

"Lord, give me the strength to put up with the people who are going to p**s me off today."

This is not original thought. It is the slogan on a Tshirt I am giving my youngest for his birthday, I bought it today. He too gets impatient with people who seem to have thoughts which are mostly about themselves.

Please stay and give us the benefit of your wisdom. And sometimes your more stringent answers to life's "little problems" allow us to see life more in perspective.

Sue.

Butch

It is an attitude thing with Ray. We have been married 36 years so we know each other pretty well. I've been cheerleader here for six years and it does get tiring. But it is 'move it or lose it ' so exercise has to be done.He is unmotivated since strokes in 1999 but if I say:"Come on mate, it has to be done, let's do it now and get it over with, then a nice cuppa, right?" a sort of pragmatic approach, he does the exercise.

For me the tiredness is now part of life. It regulates my day because of Ray's need to sleep all afternoon we are now morning people. I get tired toward the end of the day too because I do all the house and yard work so I space out for half an hour around 5pm.

BUT there are a lot of good things in our life, it isn't the life we want, it is the life we have chosen. Well I have chosen to stay and look after Ray. Ray, like Lisa, didn't have the choice!!!

MM, we need to look at our kids/grandkids enjoying life and be more like them, make a bit of mess, have a bit more fun. How can we say we are preparing for "holidays" it we make them seem drab, dreary and just plain hard-work?

I too make blessings into burdens and then complain that I am Soooo busy. And that doesn't leave a lot of time to just love life.

I'm with Bonnie, I think your life has a lot of worthwhile stuff in it, so relax and enjoy it more.

Sue.

Mary

You forgot to mention you are a most talented artist!

And an amazing woman too.

Sue.

Hi Phyllis

Our church has just gone into the season of Advent so our current colour is purple!

Prayers for you building program coming your way.

Sue.

Ray and I bumped into old girlfriends of his sometimes, I was good friends with the sister of one of them and didn't know.

I guess all you can do is smile and be gracious. And try not to be jealous if you are going to be seeing a lot of her and her kiddo.

Like Asha I always enjoy your blogs about family.

Sue.

Phyllis, sometimes we are blessed to be one of the witnesses and not the main participant in a drama. I just keep praying that the person will have good care and be restored to good health.

Glad you enjoyed your dinner, even though you ate too much.

Sue.

No Thanksgiving Day in Australia , due to our history, but I do wish you all the best on your special day. Funny how special holidays often have attachment , like your memory of your son's death. Mine is St Patricks Day which was also my late beloved Dad's birthday.

Bonnie, there sure is a lot to be thankful for and we'd be more cheerful if we sat down more often to remember our blessings.

Sue.

Hi Jan

We all get bitter and twisted sometimes.

I can be the soul of patience with Ray up to a point and then one ounce more trouble and the volcano blows!! And I haven't had a stroke. Frustration just builds up without my even noticing. There should be a red light coming on to warn people.

Loved your blog. It could be mine some days.

Sue.

We don't have Thanksgiving Day is Australia, having a different history but it's nice to share in a "virtual" one with friends here.

Acceptance leads to peace with yourself that makes life much easier.

Congratulations Linda on how far you have come with your recovery.

Sue.

Strokes, for survivor and caregiver, do sharpen the ability to rejoice at the small things.

Amy, hope what you put in the dishes brings joy to others too.

Asha, I love your blogs about your kido.

Perry playing with dolls, or any other games small children allow you to join them in, is very therapeutic.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all.

I am just so thankful for this site, and all of you.

Too much on your mind. SLOW down!

I'm smiling, Ray has gone to Camp Breakaway till Friday morning, it is expensive at $200 for three days but it is like one big party, lots of entertainment and great food and he loves it. And I have a couple of days free of worrying about him.

Hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

Sue.