swilkinson

Isn't it great to get away, even for a couple of days. Ray and I used to love a weekend of driving ( he was our driver) and doing the tourist thing. I need to try to do that once in a while.

Sue.

A message in a bottle with a treasure map, a mermaid with a sore tail, a box of pirate gold. The possibilities for walking on a beach after a big storm are endless.

Get a pile of books in, Phyllis and a stack of candles and you'll say: "What storm?"

Pam, I am one of those people who are happier doing something, I guess it makes me feel useful. I like to be prepared for most eventualities. I know I am not good at relaxing and letting it all flow although I do tell myself I should.

We are who we are. Thank goodness some people still love us that way!

Sue.

It's always good to make a new friend or re-acquaint yourself with an old one. At the worst you'll just re-hash old times. But sometimes it can be a great experience and somehow connect you back to the girl you once were.

Sue

Bonnie, sometimes us "strong" women do too much and the pressure crushes us. I too would like a quieter life. It sometimes starts with the word "NO".

Susan, Ray sleeps more when he is overwhelmed. I find if I say 'nothing much doing today so you can relax' he'll stay up later.

We all need some time to daydream and reformulate. Taking it shouldn't make you fell guilty.

The crying room is a great idea, we had a man in a wheelchair who used the crying room at one of the churches I used to go to. His wife even left a thermos of coffee in with him. She sat with her friends in the congregation but went in to him if he needed her.

Great you went visiting, isn't it good to do something you used to do every now and again.? And good friends do understand and appreciate short visits.

Hope Hans continues to improve and the sun shines on your lives once again.

Sue.n

Now you need to master the wok, heat some oil, throw in thinly sliced meat and stir for a while, throw in sliced vegetables,chopped up herbs etc, stir a few minutes more. Serve, hot, fresh, seasoned to perfection. My youngest son has it down to a fine art. He taught himself from illustrated step-by-step books.

Marvellous what you can do when you put your mind and enthusiasm together.

Sue.

Ray's diagnosis was the result of a series of tests including MRI and MRA, cognitive, brainwave (forgot the initials), and a discussion with a psychologist. I think I would say he has seriously slipped cognitively in the last six months by my observation. It is noticeable now that he answers most questions: "I don't know." whether he later talks about the same issue or not.

It is no good glossing over his defects, from time to time I honestly now that he is losing his memory both short and long term.

There is no question of him going into care, he is only 63 and most is funded for the over 65's so I have a couple of years grace (I hope) but I may have a look at a couple of weeks respite early next year and see what that does. My GP is against respite but he is like that.

Right now I am exhausted at the thought of what lies ahead but Jean, like a rubber ball I just keep bouncing back.

Don't worry, all will eventually make sense, or we will make it into nonsense for our own amusement.

Sue.

Also widens your vocabulary and language skills.

I never got past the sentence:"But me no buts and and me no ands."

It's fascinating stuff isn't it?

Sue.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, remember? As 99.5% of the people looking at you don't really see you anyway that's not a lot who do to bother about.

You probably look a lot more awkward to yourself, you know what you used to look like but if you sit down for a coffee and study the rest of humanity walking by some of them look different too.

Sue.

I'm the picky one in our family now and sometimes I just hate myself for it. When the home truths start to get too much, just walk away. I think mine stems from frustration and from the "if only" feeling. If only they would just do as I say life would be perfect, or alterantely NOT.

Breathe in slowly, turn, walk away.

Sue.

Throwing a TT from time to time is like laughing or shouting, it's good for you. It also is good for those around you, it shames them into helping you as they should have in the first place.

Sue.

Just an echo of what Pam said. We grew up poor and different (English accents in Australia, were called Poms and immigrants) none of it harmed me, in fact it made me more compassionate.

Give your kids some credit and some choices. Make some wish lists. Dreams can come true.

The face in the mirror is not the 'real' you.

Sue.

Hugs and prayers for you both.

Sue.

Big number of guests for the weekend are a mixed blessing. When we lived in the country we used to greet guests with:"What did you bring?" If it was beer or cold food it needed refrigerating on hot days. If it was a pot of soup or pies it might need to be heated. No-one came empty handed and expected meals served to them, they all got up and helped.

It is a good idea to ask guests to bring a contribution if not the whole meal, fresh cookies and cake make afternoon tea, fresh eggs and bacon make breakfast (sorry Sandy!!) .Some do need to be asked but they fade away after a while.

Take Jeans suggestion, order take out, sit down and enjoy!

Sue.

If you are amused by Australia being on the other side of the seasons you should be here for Christmas! Some years it is a HOT summer day, long cool drinks, wilting salads, seafood and cold meats are what our family prefers but some folk still try for the full European hot baked dinner and all the veggies. Pure madness in our heat.

Feel sorry for Santa still in the big red suit!

Will try to cheer up. And thanks for reading my woeful blogs.

Hi Bonnie

Adverse medical reports send us into a tail spin too. You are doing so well in your own life that what your body is doing seems irrelevant until the doctor points out the realities. Sometimes I know where the saying "ignorance is bliss" comes from!

I am so glad you have support from John when you need it. Thanks for what you do here. I look forward to you posts and blogs and when I am feeling blue just have to think of others whose load is so much heavier than mine and it helps me make that extra effort.Hope your rest day has the effect of giving you the boost you need.

Sue.

I think manopause hits when you finally slow down enough for it to catch up. Here we call it "mid-life crisis" so somewhere between 35 and 45 you get to the spot where you say those things like "Is this all there is to life" and "Where do I go from here?".

It's not a bad thing to look at your life and see how you can make it better. We all have room for improvement.

Sue.

Sandy, funny you should mention your Mum and using the phone to keep friends. I was talking to a slight acquaintance today whose husband has had quite a severe stroke. She says they never go to Sydney any more and that is where the majority of her friends are. Instead she has scheduled them to ring her and chat on designated nights of the week. One woman at either end, each with a glass of wine, two hours later, two tired but contented women.

I can't see that working for me but it might for some people.

Sue.

Yep, that's the spirit. Get your own camera, make your own career.

Go Janice!!!

Friend of a friend started her own business with a camera. She photographs flowers, grasses etc, mainly in friends gardens and prints her own cards and business cards using her own copyrighted designs.

She is as much an artist as she is a photographer but says she can do it at her own pace (she has health problems) and that's what she likes about the new business.

Can't help you about when you get out of the whiner stage, I climb out of the black hole for a while and then fall in again.

Sue.

Ray and I both worked prior to his stroke. At first having the Disability Pension and Carers Pension as they are called here seemed demeaning. Now six years post-stroke we think of ourselves as retired. It is no big deal. Our retirement is working out well, not what we planned but what happened is the reality.

Sue.

Phyllis, I think it is aloneness rather than loneliness that a lot of people suffer from, the fact that they can call out and no-one will answer.

When Ray was in hospital for 41/2 months I would be with him most days and then come home exhausted but by 9pm that alone feeling would settle on me. I hadn't found this site of course, didn't think of the internet in those days.

I am glad you find plenty to fill in your time. If you get lonely I am sure you know how to reach out to others who would enjoy a chat too.

Sue.

Joy, does Hans have swallowing difficulties? I have to notify my doctor if Ray has a low fever as it can be lung infections from aspiration. An antibiotic usually fixes it and his appetite returns. I am heading towards thickened liquids now for him.

Selling your house is a big thing isn't it? My yard and the garage full of junk are two of the things stopping me selling but down the track it may have to happen.

We can't move close to relatives as ours live all over the place.

Sue.

Mary, you seem to be iiving life to the full, that's what we all aim for.

Have a great week. My "me" time is things like making the chutney, I really enjoy cooking.

Sue.