swilkinson

We have just come back from having lunch at a cafe on the seashore at one of our local beaches. It was my birthday treat from my next door neighbour. It is my last present but I did so enjoy it. It is so good to watch the toddlers building sand castles while their mums sit and chat and drink lattes. It was about 68 degrees so pretty mild for six days into winter! Thanks every one for your greetings for my birthday, it certainly does make it special. I am so glad I found this site and all of you. (((Hugs ))) from Sue.

Stu, thank you for the insight on what happened when you stroked. Everyone has a story and a lot of them are recorded here or in the bios. They are stories of courage and strength as people document their struggles back to whatever the "new normal" is. Welcome to the blog society. Come back often and share your experiences with us. Sue.

Ruth, I went back and read a lot of your posts and it seems to me you are a very competent woman. While sometimes that is little comfort when you want to be taken care of it is also a thing to be proud of. A woman who can look after her man, turn her hand to a lot of skills like renovations, painting etc and still think of herself last and others first is a mighty strong woman! Your "knight in shining armour" may have left that role when he had the stroke but he is still the lovely, loving man you married. Just as I know for me Ray is still my one and only. Now it is our turn to be the strong ones for a while. Remember you are not alone in this, there are a lot of us out here, we may be isolated by distance but we are brought close by a common need - to be understood. Welcome to the blog society, hope you find release in putting down your thoughts, longings, dreams etc. Sue. :chat:

Make that Kristina the Caring, Kristina the Cheerful, Kristina the Companion.... etc Maybe Kristina the crazy too...lol. You will be missed...believe me. Sue. :chat: the chatterbox

For a while now I have been trying to make some changes in my life. One of them is to calm life down. Now I can be a bit of a drama queen (hey! I am a woman!) and I know that stress is not good for me and worse for Ray so I am trying to de-stress us both. As Ray ages he certainly appreciates the quiet life. And if he is stressed the result shows up in his sugar readings, they sky rocket, so it is in his interest too that we live a quieter life. This resulted in me having a very quiet birthday. But it was good because that was my choice. I wondered how to make the day special and came up with a plan. I sent Ray off to Daycare as usual. Then I went down to our small shopping village and bought two large iced and filled cakes. I took them down to Mum's Dementia lodge and had them cut up for morning tea. That way I shared them with Mum and all her companions. And it was worth it to see how much they all appreciated the cream and jam filled treats! The expressions on the faces as they licked their lips was amazing! It is so much better to give than to receive when you can receive so much from giving! The rest of the day was the usual shopping and I visited a girlfriend for the last hour before Ray came home. I did have a lot of greetings on the phone and by email (thank you, thank you) and a few cards in my letter box so it was a good day. And a friend who used to be a florist left a beautifully boxed flower arrangement on my doorstep! I finished the day by taking Ray out to dinner. I have posted a new caregiver's hint too as I have found a way of making dining out easier for Ray. It is hard when he has so many issues to enjoy a meal out. BUT we have actually had three meals out recently and all have gone well. We had Steve and Pam and the two little ones over on Sunday night and just had takeout (Asha's suggestion) and so not a lot of tidying up afterwards. Alex's new party trick is to stand and smile. He actually stood for over a minute at one stage so it will not be long before he is walking now. Which is good as Pam is expecting the next baby mid-August. He is a beautiful boy now, big cheeky grin and a little gurgly laugh. Tori is a great BIG SISTER and plays with him nicely when asked to do so. She is still Granma's best girl too. We are going out to craft this afternoon and Lions Club dinner tonight so I should get some more greetings, then our next door neighbour is taking us out to coffee after I finish here with you all on chat so the blessings continue. It is good to have friends, in real time and in cyberspace and I do give thanks for all of you. Thanks to all who sent me greetings and personal messages. You are the BEST!

Lisa, I waited over six months from the time when I joined the site to start a blog. I loved reading other peoples and realised in the end I had nothing to lose by revealing more about my life and struggles. Thank you for journalling the first days of Rachel's stroke, it must have been unimaginable to you all that she actually DID stroke at so young an age. I know since then you have done so much to make her recovery meaningful and her life worth while. Welcome to the addictive world of blogging. I'm sure others will greet you too. I am sure you will get much joy from documenting Rachel's progress here and your own growth as a caregiver too. (((Hugs)) from Sue.

I like the idea of a party at home but it is just not practical. I have one daughter and her family in Queensland who won't be coming down, one son working over the weekend, the other son and his family are busy, after all they both work and Pamela is expecting a baby in August. Not that they are selfish, I guess they still think of Mum being the person who does it all. It has always been me who has thrown the family parties and done all the organising etc. I assumed that the suggestion was so that I would get the party organised and they would take part, not that they would organise it for me. It is difficult to do that and look after Ray as well. Thanks for all your suggestions. And for the birthday greetings. I will have other birthdays Asha. I know life can be over in a flash, don't we all? But I want as much of my life to come as possible to be filled with happy memories, and better no party than a failed attempt. Sue.

Kakii, I am so sorry for the stage you are going through at the moment. I will assure you that the light IS on at the end of the tunnel, you just keep on walking towards it. (((Hugs))) from Sue.

Another week ended and a calm, quiet one at that. Nothing much to tell you. The weather is fine, the nights colder, the washing dried today. Life is very mundane but I would be delighted to keep it that way for a few weeks. That way I can build up my strength for the next "critical incident". I wish there would never be one but life has a habit of not letting me rest for long. Today I went to the Dementia support group which meets first and third Fridays. We had two short films, the first of a woman's struggle with early dementia, very well done but it was not what was said but the husband's expression as he fought NOT to say what he felt that fascinated me. The second film was of a daughter's struggle to accept her mother's dementia, so good, different in parts to what I went through with Mum but so much of it I could relate to. Both films were shot over a period of time so you could see a gradual progress in the disease. These insights do help me in coping with Mum and with Ray. Ray and I went to Apex40 dinner at a nice restaurant at The Entrance last night. They are so supportive of him, not all of course but a core group, so it is relaxing to have dinner and a chat afterwards.I wish we had more friends who were free to go out to dinner with us. It makes life seem normal for a change. Today I also had lunch out, just a sandwich and coffee at a local Bakery with a friend who we supported through her husband's journey through strokes and dementia and now she is helping me to cope. I guess that is what life is about for me at present, giving support and learning to deal with life as it happens. Our mentor at Dementia group urges us to stay in the present moment and at last I am becoming comfortable with that. Monday is my birthday, I will be 60. The kids wanted me to arrange for a few friends to come to have a bit of a celebration but I asked that there not be a dinner or a party, I am not comfortable dining with Ray in a setting I can't control at present. Going out with the Lions or Apex40 group we sit in a corner, close to where I can get Ray to the toilet etc if I need to quickly. He does have some swallowing and coughing issues and is occassionally sick, not the kind of thing I want to happen if I am the feted birthday girl so :"thanks, but no thanks" has to be the reply for this year. Hopefully there will be other birthdays ahead. Doesn't stop you all from sending me greetings though. So that is it, the news of the week. The calm quiet week. (((Hugs))) to all from Sue This is the weekly email I send out to a list of friends. I usually get three or four replies so I know some people care enough to sit down and write back. Of the others some reply once a month, once in three months etc. I know, life is busy and it is not "all about me" and I do need well-wishers out here in the real world. And of course some of the recipients do have troubles of their own that I am aware of. So I send them a private email or letter as well. It is good to count our blessings, but it is also good to look at our lives in a truthful and honest way. Part of staying with the moment has to be about that too. I can't cope with something I am not admitting is happening to me. Or to Ray. It is good to have a place to write this down so I can read it and see if it all makes sense. Or if it is just the ravings of a person with a strange view of the world.

Fred, I am in favour of calm waters, an ordered life, law and order etc, but I know God often works the best when he makes something of the chaos in my life. He certainly has had to work through a lot of it in the time since Ray's major strokes. Maybe the pygmy goby, which lives fast and dies young does so in some of the most beautiful waters in the world and that is the point. We don't seem to get more than 56 days in paradise in a lifetime ourselves. Count your best days and you will see what I mean. I too think that God has put us here for a purpose and it isn't revealed to us to know what impact we have on the lives of others. Just be and do your best Fred. It is all any of us can do. Sue.

Ken, glad you have been for your annual tune-up. Now all you need is a little panel beating and you will be "as new". Enjoy the warm and cosy inside aspect of winter. I get out my old CDs, favourite movies, craft and hobby box etc and wait for those dull, wintry days to start. It is a wonderful excuse for not having to go out. I can stay at home and semi-hibernate. Of course a couple of weeks later I am stir-crazy! Rain is predicted for the end of the week, but unless the forecaster has a crystal ball who knows if we will get rain or not? Sue.

Betty Jean, first things first: HAPPY BIRTHDAY Now to answer your question. I think I would spend it with my Mum, my husband Ray and as many of my kids and grandkids as I could get here for the day. Mum would be a bit of a problem as she has severe dementia now but I guess we would find some way around that, like maybe asking the dementia lodge if we could pay one of their workers to come with her for the day. I would have the day catered for, like a party, lots to eat and drink, and just talk and laugh and enjoy each ones company as much as I was able. Having said that, you go see the specialist, do what you have to do to keep going and I wish you a long and happy life. (((HUGS))) from Sue.

Fred, I have a good friend going to Iraq too. He is going as a chaplain to our troops. I will be praying for him as I always do, and for those who serve with him. Our equivalent of Memorial Day is Anzac Day which is the 25th April so we have done the prayers for our soldiers, seamen and airmen of the present conflict and those who sacrificed their lives in the past. But for those known personally to us we go on praying day by day. Sue.

"Like a gold prospector you must resign yourself to picking up a lot of sand from which you will later patiently wash out a few minute particles of gold." (no author) That is a quote from the end of a post that Aleanna made recently. I must say I was impressed with it. It is so true of my life. Sometimes I feel as if the sand dunes of Arabia are on my doorstep, blown here by that particular wind that blows trouble to your door. And yes, if I sift enough I may find that elusive good thing but it will take a bit of doing. But I also know that I have little to complain about in the face of the starving children of Africa and South America that feature on our tv, sifting through tons of garbage for a morsel of food or a little metal to recycle. How can their government, rich philanthropists, charities etc let them live like that? I cannot do much about it but feel so rich by comparison. And I remember what it feels like to be cold, hungry, to feel unsafe and even unloved, we have all been there at some time or other. But today I had a good day in what overall has been a good week. Not an outstanding week though it has had some outstanding things in it. For instance our dear friend who came up and painted the wooden gables at the end of our house so that the peeling paint would not let the water in. He also cut down some branches off a tree that was starting to be a nuisance when the wind blew and also dug one of the drains that had overflowed last time it rained and caused some minor flooding under my house. I as a woman am inclined to make a scrape across the soil to divert water. He dug a decent size trench. Now there is a particle of gold if ever I saw one. And today I bought a couple of reasonably priced blouses at our church fashion parade. I showed two to Ray and asked which one he liked and he said: "Whichever one you want, or you could have both." well, no need to tell me a second time. He even reached for his wallet the dear soul, as once he would have done to buy me a present. Made my eyes fill up with tears, it has been ages since I have seen him do that. So there is gold in my life. The gold of good friends, the gold of people, like those who read this, who do truly understand. There is such relief in knowing that this road we travel we do not travel alone. I spoke to my northern family tonight and they will be spending a couple of days with us the last week in June AND Shirley will be spending three days with us at the beginning of December too when she comes down to Sydney for a women's conference leaving Craig and the children in Cairns. That means some of those mother and daughters moments I hope, the sort you store up and treasure. I do so miss her and her family. And the thought of them being here soon is so GOOD. Good as gold. And Ray's general health has been good this week and his behaviour moderate, and his deficiencies under control. So that makes me give thanks too. I am not a Pollyanna as a rule, quite the opposite sometimes but I do think it is essential to post about the good times as well as the bad. And honesty can be confronting sometimes but other times it does show that nugget of pure gold. Sure we all have our down moments, but we have our up times too. And those where the road is smooth and runs in pleasant places. Hope your week has had some golden moments too.

Katrina, even when you are older life goes so much faster for able bodied people. Ray and I can't keep up with our able bodied friends as pushing a wheelchair restricts where you can go and how fast you can go. BUT that does not mean you give in and stay home, it means you go out knowing it will be difficult and deal with the difficulties as they arise. Good for you. This is your first attempt at going to the State Fair so next year you will be prepared for the difficulties and maybe able to go on one or two of the more difficult rides. Plan it ahead in your mind and your body will follow. Glad you have friends who want to go with you. Forgive your mum, she is just being who she is, I complained about transporting my kids too. Keep smiling, and use all your determination to enjoy life. (((Hugs))) from Sue.

Karen, be careful. You think that you have done it all before so you can do it again but sometimes a second dishing of the same is too much on your plate. So pace yourself. And keep Rob's spirits up too. (((Hugs))) from Sue.

I think you could call your blog "HIs Excellency" that is a nice "title"...lol. I think it sounds good to have an overall idea of what Patrick can achieve as he is still at an age when he needs a "future". And if that involves getting back behind the wheel again it will give him so much more freedom - and you will find it gives you more freedom too. Just hand him a shopping list for starters! Anything you do for the betterment of humanity, like the 5k walk for a charity makes you feel as if you are making a contribution to society and is worthwhile. That is why I try to get Ray to participate in a little service work for Lions still, to be out there and to maintain/improve his self esteem. Thanks for dropping into chat today, it went well despite competing with American Idol...lol. (((Hugs))) from Sue.

I took Ray to his neurologist today, he goes every six months to get his Reminyl script and for the neuro to see how he is, he has been Ray's neuro since he came back to the local hospital after his first stroke 17 years ago. It is not unusual to go in for an appointment and have a strange conversation. The neurologist is very easy to talk to. He does clinical trials and a lot of lecturing and stroke education seminars both for lay people and medical professionals. He tends to talk about whatever is on his mind right now, bouncing ideas off the patients to get an idea about how non-professionals think he says. The neuro said that there is a lot of research being done on what causes predisposition to illness or certain diseases. It is all very interesting, says he, but we should also be looking at the genes that help people survive. This is because a lot of people, like Ray, have illnesses that one would think would be enough to kill them and yet they survive. So he also thinks there must be in some people a pre-disposition to survival, so if we find these survival genes, the ones that make us tough, we may have some more answers. I found that a very interesting theory because as he said the stroke that is intensive enough to kill one person will have a lesser effect on another. This can be regardless of age, fitness, other illness or pre-conditions. There are some people who have a "toughness" that seems to fly in the face of reason and medical probability. Most of us put it down to having strong minded ancestors, the kind of pioneers that could walk miles with bullet wounds, axe wounds, fevers and snake bite and through whatever kind of weather and conditions nature threw at them. So is the survival gene some kind of gene left over from the pioneering days? We have a good friend staying a few days, he is actually the godfather of our youngest son. We have known him for over thirty years, he lives about 300 miles away and came up for a few days as he said to "do a few little jobs for Sue." So he is painting the gables at the end of our house which are wooden and were starting to peel and flake off paint. As a house painter he saw something he could do for us that we could not do for ourselves. How blessed are we when friends see a need and do the job without being asked to? Mighty blessed. I have been chatting with people on Dementianet, mostly late evening my time. This is a site for dementia carers so as they often have to put the one they are caring for, be it spouse or parent, to bed before they feel free to sit down for a while 9.30pm on seems an ideal time. I am enjoying talking to another set of people who are struggling with the same problems as we are here but from a slightly different perspective. This will not take away from my chat hosting here as it is a very different time slot but I feel in a way what I learn at each site I can use on the other, for the benefit of others. The rest of the week is a faster pace as we have several things on each day, tomorrow is my chat day and I have other things to do as usual. On Thursday the "biggest Morning Tea" which is a fundraiser for Cancer research will be held in a nearby park by our Lions Club and I want to help out there. I haven't done any service work recently and it is about time I gave a hand when and where I am able to. We have physiotherapy for Ray that afternoon. On Friday I want to go clothes shopping for Mum so she has plenty of warm winter clothes to wear. A lot of her clothes are really faded and no longer warm as the automatic, industrial strength washing machines used by the nursing homes seem very hard on fabrics. Mum is a survivor too. She had a tough childhood. Her father was away from home a lot and she lost her mother at 16, her father remarried at 17 and Mum had to make her own way in the world. She lived in London during the Blitz, working in a munitions factory as her contribution to the War Effort. She had her husband ( my Dad) missing in action, then taken to Germany as a prisoner-of-war. After the war they started a new life but realised that they wanted more say in how they lived. They came to Australia with two small children, my sister and me, and made a fresh start. It was not pioneering but it was still a hard life, starting again from scratch. Good survival genes there, in both of them. So I hope as you read this you will take heart, thinking of all you have come through to get yourself to this part of your life. We all have genes that pre-dispose us to all kinds of nasties, strokes and heart attacks among them. But hopefully we also have survival genes that will allow us to be overcomers.

Madison Jane you have said some of the things that are on my own heart. How much I too miss the two way conversations, the animated discussions, the shared memories. Sounds like your Wes has vascular or multifarct dementia and it is slowly stealing his mind away as it is Ray also. I really grieve for you and for all who go through this painfully slow erosion of relationship caused by dementia. We still have our partners with us and yet the relationship is not the same. I guess this is a test of our love and commitment and being strong women we will get through it somehow. Just remember you are not alone, many on this site are thinking of you and praying for you. ((((Hugs)))) from Sue.

Thanks for the good ideas. I met up with some old friends at a mutual friends birthday party today and got similar suggestions from them. Most said to plan days out with a lunch out in the middle of the day. With winter coming it is time to concentrate on nice venues where the interior is warm and the meals are of the old-fashioned "comfort food" variety. :cloud9: One woman said to forget travelling long distances until Ray is much better, just mark out a 25 mile radius from home and do the sights on that then increase it to 35 miles etc. She also reminded me that our WAGS group is having another bus trip and she will try to be on it to give me a hand with Ray. Isn't it great to have good friends? I am blessed to have some both here and in real time. Sue. :chat:

I have just finished chat, taken the laundry and hung it on the line as it's a sunny day, set up some soup for lunch. Phew! there is so much to do. But I don't really feel like doing anything much. I just want to sit down and sort a few things out in my mind. So if you are not into that read no further. I'm in a bit of a quandary again. I have just joined another board, this one is about dementia and is based in Australia so I thought it would be good to speak to the locals. Compared to Strokenet the site is in its very early stages. The chat board is there but as it is not organised it is rare that two people (out of maybe 200) are on at the same time. I have been sending emails to the Webmaster and recommended she come here and have a look. I know that sooner or later I am going to be asked if I want to be a monitor or host or whatever they are going to call it and I don't know if I want that kind of responsibility. I came here looking for some answers on strokes as Ray had just had his fifth, that was roughly two years ago. I resisted chat for a while but realised that there would be a benefit in talking to others in real time. Even if the subject matter isn't serious, as it really isn't most of the time in caregiver chat, the support network is worth the time and effort. Far from exposing me to crackpots as I initially thought instead I have found loving, informed men and women who are ready to give of themselves and use their experience to help others. One of the things that has really impressed me about this site is the fact that everyone is ready to post in support of others who are hurting. If you don't have a solution to the current problem it is no problem to send a hug, a welcome, a few notes on your own stroke, or your survivor's to give the newbie that feeling of having come to the right place. We are not health professionals but boy! do we have the hands on experience! And in sharing we do find a way of making something good come out of what was initially a bad situation. And also realising that there are folk much worse off than ourselves who are really struggling yet still managing to smile in the face of woe. Yesterday Ray and I went to see his Rehab specialist from his hospital stay. Due to road work it took us an hour to do what should have been a half hour run. Then I had to pay for two hours of parking which I knew I wouldn't use, push Ray up a slope that wasn't designed for wheelchairs, wait for the Doc to call us, and the interview took ten minutes and could have been done over the phone! Guess we have all had those experiences eh? And so back in the car, back through the roadworks, s-l-o-w-l-y home. One thing I did find out is that my expected estimate of when Ray should be back to full fitness was WAY out. I was told 12-16 weeks. Specialist said 6-8 MONTHS. You have to double everything as far as retuning the body goes after a stroke it seems, and also take into consideration that in the case of bed rest (Ray had eleven days in bed initially) the fitness loss has to be made up too. So he thought 6 months was the soonest I would feel that Ray had regained what he had lost. ( insert swear word here to express my extreme displeasure at that prospect). So... holidays are out of the question, too much danger of disorientation and lack of balance resulting in falls and further hospitalisation. The disorientation is more from the vascular dementia than it is from the strokes and of course that will increase too as time goes by, so to do what we want to do as soon as possible has been my aim. I really do not want to wait six months before we venture out of this area again. Of course we do live in a beautiful part of the world and tourists pay thousands to come here for holidays but you all know you never get a real break if you stay at home at the time and caregiving is a real 24/7/365 job for me. So... no sense in getting bitter about this and as usual acceptance is some way down the track. So I will try and think of a few projects to keep my mind focussed so the time passes quickly. That is always the best thing to do. Because time passes anyway whatever we do. And tomorrow could be the best day of the rest of our lives..

Ray's five strokes have all fired along the same line. The neurologist says this is because he has a narrowed artery in one spot and the clots are trapped by that. He says as the area of dead cells increases this causes other deficits to occur. Sorry this is happening to Rob. There is always one more thing to cope with post-stroke, it never really seems to be "over". And having a stroke doesn't stop you from having other things go wrong. As the saying goes :"life is a lottery". I am sure Rob will recover from this one as he did from the last, the cognitive after affects do seem to linger though. (((Hugs))) from Sue.

Ken, you just keep at it and I am sure in the end you will do it. The trip to New Zealand should work as a good incentive . How about booking four or five months ahead and making that your goal date? It is amazing how much harder you work if there is a good reason. An old friend who had had a stroke worked hard so she could stand up for a wedding photo with our daughter. She was pushed in in a wheelchair but when the time came for the photo she stood all alone. So think of walking into the house in New Zealand and surprising all the family gathered there to see you. It would be a mighty good feeling. Sue.

I am reading this on the eve of Mother's Day. It expresses how I feel about my mum too. She can no longer speak with advanced dementia. I just visit her in order to be with her. It is so hard. I admire you for the way you struggle through all your issues. Honesty is a rare attribute these days. Keep on going. We will be here cheering you on. Sue.

Now I know just why Ray loves Camp Breakaway. They treat their guests like royalty, nothing is too much trouble, everything comes to them, food, drinks, entertainment. There is a personal aide or a shower nurse if you need one. There is a nurse on staff and they will get you to the hospital if that is where you need to go. One of the older gentlemen did go to the nearest hospital to have heart pains checked out, he was okay and told to see his doctor when he got home today. It is all covered by the Federal Health and Ageing Department and a small co-pay from the guests and it is a lovely experience. Although Ray usually goes on a small bus I drove him up on Tuesday morning, about a 45 minute drive north of here. I thought I would use the car while I was there but never did. The furthest I went from the camp was down to the waterfront a walk of half a mile or so. The camp is made up little wooden cabins, two side by side and there are 16 of them. There is a big hall which is kitchen, dining room, lounge room and entertainment area. The meals are good, well cooked and served by the staff. There was entertainment in the afternoon and evenings too. There is also an area with A-frame cabins which is used as a youth camp and some larger family cabins which are used for families with disabled children who need a holiday. The accommodation isn't five star but is adequate. There are rooms with twin beds (Ray's was like a hospital bed), and a purpose built shower and a small deck on the front which we used the first day to sit in the autumn sunlight and relax. I also sat out there when Ray was asleep except for yesterday when it was raining and cold. Then I went up to the hall and watched an English comedienne who played the piano and told jokes and had the oldies in stitches with her act. All the entertainment was good but my favourite was a small shy man who was electrifying in his rendition of Elvis songs. The first person to greet us was Ray's usual carer who calls him "Buddy" and had some tales to tell about some of Ray's previous visits. The tales were pretty mild but Ray looked at me to see if I was taking it all in and when I laughed he relaxed and smiled himself. He loves to be made a fuss of and his carer had brought some aftershave and a few little extras to make him feel good. We had another carer at night who slept next door with the single occupant there, a much older stroke survivor who really did need the 24 hour care provided. The night carer had his wife and daughter come in and stay for a while so we could see how much his now four year old daughter had grown. This really pleased the older ladies who fussed over her. All the staff are both paid and volunteer workers, except for a few who are just volunteers. The payment only applies to the showering and personal care which they can claim for, the serving of meals etc they do as volunteers. Some come back at night to put the olds to bed. I loved the shower girls, all young and chirpy, all brisk and cheerful, who brought Ray out of the shower pink and clean and with a big smile. He would do exactly what they asked, no ifs or buts. I loved the large, huggy ladies who stayed through the day and made sure we all got tea or coffee and cake in the afternoon, who also sat and talked one on one to the survivors while their carers had a nap or went for a walk. Is Camp Breakaway for me? Probably not, the age range was from late 60's to one dear old chap on our table who was 98 and as talkative as a jackdaw. The nearest person to my age was a woman who has a complex form of Parkinson's who was probably late 60's. We had some good conversations, her speech was very slow and slurred but I could see she was really enjoying our chats together. But Ray loves everything about Camp Breakaway, he enjoys the company, the entertainment, the meals and the company of the carers who he sees as a band of angels from heaven. If the only way he can go is with me, I'll go again. If he can go alone I will go back to enjoying my three days off at home.