swilkinson

Kev, design your own routines. I do "Just Dance" on the Wii and know the value of movement. You may not dance but movement to music will take off weight if you do enough of it. And it will warm you up too. Thanks for your weekly update. I live a very different life to you so your blog gives me a little insight into a different world.

Another good blog Asha. We can learn from all experiences and all ages, people with insight whoever they are can pass on that wisdom to us. Thank you for sharing how this has benefited you.

Sarah, I am glad you have plenty to do, keeping busy was my solution to being lonely and missing Ray. Hope you find some good, fun things to do too, you do need some laughs. There are a lot of people thinking of you my friend, it will just take a while for them to get back in touch.

Heather, thank you for that explanation, it makes things plainer to me. In Centrelink we had a saying: "We have time to discuss a situation or to fix it." So we would rush into a new situation with very little discussion, very little training and of course get it so wrong! So your alternative of looking at the variables first before accepting changes makes a lot more sense. If only I knew then what I know now....lol.

Asha, I can see you're learning to share your husband's enthusiasms and that is good. Being a good companion is about those guestures that say: "You matter to me." As a widow I spend most of my time alone and really miss the things Ray and I shared, especially when I am surrounded by people doing couple activities together.

I have just been on a cruise. The last time I went on a cruise I was twenty and went to Fiji and Tonga, we can't go from here to Tonga any more. This time I went to New Zealand. I shared with the sister-in-law of an old friend, the old friend and her husband went too. Also on board were two couples from the Stroke Recovery group WAGS that I still belong to. It was good to have other friends on board and I did spend quite a lot of time with Bill and Jill. Bill was on his scooter. Being a survivor of a massive brain stem stroke he has no balance but all his cognition so he enjoys cruising but with a lot of help from Jill. They are a delightful couple to be with and as there is a lot of help available for disabled people on Princess cruises it is also an ideal holiday for Jill. Dave and Cheryl I saw less of, it was their first cruise and I think were finding it difficult to get used to. My stateroom companion Theresa and I were compatible and enjoyed our time together and I was glad of her company. It is nice to have someone to talk things over with at the end of the day. We often had breakfast and lunch together. We split up for the evening meal as she had that with her family and I went to one of the restaurants where I could order meals that were okay for my food allergies and I had some really excellent meals. It was so great to have a variety of foods which were well prepared and tailored to my needs. Because of the cororavirus a lot of Asian cruises had been cancelled and so we had a lot of Americans on board and some were going to New Zealand as an alternative to the cruise they were originally booked on. As a single person I was a "share" and so I had a meal with many delightful table companions. I enjoyed meeting so many kind and interesting people. Many like me were seeing New Zealand for the first time so we have lot to discuss. We were fortunate with the weather and with the skill of the navigator as we managed to get into all six ports despite some swell. Another ship just ahead of us missed the last two. What did I learn from this experience? I learned that it is okay to lose your way if you can get back to a place you recognise and start again. A ship's long corridors can all look alike and as I was often hazy about whether my destination was FOR or AFT that was a problem for me. But after a few days I started to recognise the landmarks. Unlike my poor friend who with the onset of dementia was often lost and had a lot of kind people endeavouring to find her travelling companions for her. I learned that it is okay to do my own thing which was listening to piano music at night rather than going to the latest extravaganza. I learned that sitting alone is acceptable, doing something that is special to me rather than just falling in with other people's plans. I was a bit dubious about that at the beginning of the cruise but it worked out well. I didn't find a special place to sit and read which was a pity but with over 3000 people on board there were crowds everywhere I went which made that impossible but I can be quiet in myself and meditative anywhere really with a little effort. On the return journey to Sydney on the last three nights the sea was a bit rough and the weather not so good and it was a little hard to sleep. But the weather in Sydney had been rain a lot of the time we were away. Leaving the ship was delayed by a screening of passengers for the coronavirus which took a couple of hours but no problems were found and eventually we were back on shore. It is a long journey home for me by train and bus and in this case taxi but it was worth it. It was a long-term plan of mine to see something of New Zealand and that is now crossed off my bucket list. Now it is time for more tests and hopefully next week the thyroid operation. I can't say I am looking forward to that but it is essential to me being healthy again and living the best life possible. Not to mention seeing my grandchildren grow up. There will no doubt be a complicated recovery but eventually what is hopefully my last operation will be over and I will be free to cross off another item off my bucket list.

Wow! Asha sometimes you knock me off my feet with your ideas. To walk through life not judging events as good or bad would!d be a great thing to do. I can see the advantages in that. I will write a blog in a few days about my experiences today so you will see what I mean.

From my point of view as a Christian it is God within us that is my answer. What I do, what I say, how I live my life is related to that.Whatever religion we follow we have that in common. So glad you didn't take your own life and so not be here to influence mine. As I have said before: You are the guru. You are the person who taught me to go with the flow. Thank you Asha.

I went to a counsellor in February -April 2013, four months after Ray died. I found it really helped me to sort out what I was actually worrying about. She also helped me free myself from a lot of hurt, resentment etc that I had carried with me for a long time. I have thought of having more counselling because of my many medical problems and the emotional problems that accompany them. I may do that in the future. I hope it helps you come to terms with whatever is bothering you.

Janelle, I don't know. Will probably depend on if the operation takes longer than expected. It will be at least two weeks before I am allowed to drive so that will slow me down. I will stock up on reading materials before I go into hospital so I have something to do.

Went to the Melanoma Clinic today for my annual check up. All is well except the thyroid nodule is growing, good thing I have the operation coming up in March. Next check up in a year's time. On Tuesday I went to the. Pre-admission clinic for the operation In March. All booked in, only an overnight stay this time and then home and afterwards no driving for two weeks. Here we go again.

Sarah, hope you are over the bronchitis soon, that's my bugbear in winter. The dogs will give you comfort with their attention. Just give them a hug now and again. You take care my friend.

Life does not always go the way we plan. Sometimes when I am sad and lonely and I want to give myself a lift I lay down and shut my eyes and go to my secret place. It is a rose garden. The scenery is based on a real garden in a little country town I have visited but the nice thing is that in my meditation it is whatever I want it to be. I can build a pergolas and cover it in pink roses. I can put garden seats along a long wall. I can even have a fountain if I want to, it is my secret place. For those of you who have to stay inside think of doing this, building a magical garden in your mind. I come out of that meditation refreshed and able to go on again. Men your place may be a hunting lodge or fishing spot or some place you went when you were young. I don't think it matters where it is as long as you leave it with a more tranquil mind. Some people would call this day dreaming and in some way it is similar but I benefit so much from that time of relaxation and enjoyment so I thought I would share it with you. The bush fires are officially out as of today. Of course there is a lot of work to do now rebuilding, reaforesting, remaking and repairing of roads, parks, the very expensive job of rebuilding infrastructure which will take years to do. But at least the fires are out. The blame game has been playing out in our media, according to them the fires have been lit by all kinds of "bad people". The truth may never be told or maybe never be listened to. It is so foolish to spread rumours but spread them they do and distract people from what they need to be doing, lending a helping hand with the clean up. But the rains came, well actually floods in a lot of places and sometimes exactly where the fires were so debris and ashes washed into dams and waterways. Friends of mine were cut off from town for three days, finally out today. And many people had to be evacuated and will get home to face a huge clean up. So not as much rejoicing as it would have been if the rains had come earlier in the year. But some brave farmers will try a late crop and we will all rejoice in the green grass and the flowers in the garden beds. A peach tree next door is in flower, no chance of fruit this late in the season but the flowers are lovely. I live in a land of such contrasts, the dry outback, like the country around Broken Hill where Trevor lives, such wonderful open blue sky country. Then there is the rolling hill and plain country, now in urgent need of restocking now they have grass and water again. The coastal areas, over burdened with houses, roads and commercial areas but still beautiful in parts is where most of our population live . It is what most people think of as home. Sure some of them go out to "the country " but many have never crossed the Great Dividing Range to where I think of as the "real Australia". I have Ray and our time with Fisheries to thank for that. I have been having to tests that go with my annual check up at the Melanoma Clinic. I have a new doctor as my old doctor retired and he ordered blood tests and yesterday I went to see him after a phone call from his office and he wants me to have more tests. I did persuade him that wouldn't be a be a good idea now, better to hold off till after my next operation. Most of what he found wrong with me was pretty trivial so I hope by the end of March he will have forgotten most of it. I can't see the sense in taking a lot of medication or starting to worry about minor problems when I don't get my Melanoma clearance for another two years. Shirley, my daughter and family are coming to spend Saturday night here. They are going to Gosford Corps, the Corps they left to become Salvation Army Officers, for a catch up. Craig is going to speak about his job as Chaplain to the Salvos Stores. I have to preach on Sunday at my church so won't hear his speech but am sure it will be good and they will be able to catch up with old friends. We will have lunch together here before they go back home. I love any family contact. Last night I played phone tag with my older son Steven, finally getting to have a chat about how the kids had settled back into school etc. I wish they all lived closer so I saw them more frequently. The sun is shining outside again so time to do the Autumn gardening chores. We still will have some really hot weather ahead but I think that will be summer's last hurrah as March is generally much cooler. Which a lot of people will be thankful for, hot weather is harder for older folk. And so life goes on here on the lovely Central Coast. Wild wind, torrential rain and all kinds of bad weather comes and goes but despite that it is still a great place to live

My daughter Shirley puts on morning teas as fund raisers. She has a lot of lovely tea sets and utensils so provides all that and her ladies make the cakes etc. at least that was when she was in church ministry. Now at the nursing home it will be for smaller groups. There is something special about a High Tea isn't there?

My dear friend, wish I could be with you at this time, You are a champion. Your Gary had the best of care from you. His needs were always met. Your love for him was never ending. So glad his death was a simple and easy one. Take life easy now. All my love. Sue.

No it is not selfish to take time fir yourself. We all go through periods when everyone demand we do this or that for them but at any time it is your right to say : "No" and take some time for yourself. You are a person too. And we love to hear from you.

Kelli, it is great that you got all the attention you needed and then some. The description you gave reminded me of some of the things Ray went through. We are fortunate if we live in a place with great hospitals and doctors. Hope you find the solution to the vertigo soon.

You all know about the devastating bush fires we had in January. They were accompanied by high temperatures, the very hot and dry westerly winds and added to the dry bush conditions what devastation they caused. Well we have rain at last. Here on the Central Coast it is very welcome, a full day yesterday and some showers today. In some places there has been flooding and a couple of the lakes with a sea outlet have been "let out" which is a good thing. It has been a strange year so far. In January we had very high humidity which I found difficult. I was on a bus on a hot day a week or so ago and the lady behind me asked: " Have you just washed your hair dear? It is dripping." And I didn't tell her I was sweating because of the heat and humidity. The waist to toes pressure stockings are bad in the heat of summer but lovely and warm in winter. Everything has an up side I guess. I have just been to visit my daughter Shirley and family. The new house she has moved to is about the same size as the last one but although there are four bedrooms upstairs,the living area is all downstairs. It was good to spend time with her and her family. I was very interested in hearing details of her new job as an Aged Care Chaplain. She is learning a lot about dealing with dementia patients in the Nursing Home. I think her common sense approach to people will really help a lot in that job. It was good to spend time with my grandchildren too. Christopher has a coaching job in the science field in his old High School. Some of Naomi's friends have changed subjects though so she is still settling back in again. I have no plans to do any more visits for a while as I have so have some tests to do, the Pre-admission Clinic for the thyroid operation to attend and then the operation itself ahead of me. I did go out west to Armidale for a while to visit friends, a few days in the country from time to time is a real pick-me-up. I am a country girl at heart. This was my third visit so it was a familiar place. The countryside was brown and dry when I got there but after a couple of days of rain the green started to brighten up the scenery again. I always thought I would end up back in the country but it seems unlikely now. Those years out west when Ray was with Fisheries living at Yass and then Narrandera were great years but moving from the familiar Central Coast to the country would be a big move at my age. The Coast is so overcrowded at Christmas time and during any of the school holidays now, it makes it difficult to get out on the main road from where I live so I have started travelling on the bus which with my pensioner pass is probably cheaper than driving. We have had three funerals already of congregation members. One was my favourite 102 year-old and I read the Psalm for that at her daughter's request. I miss those who pass on very much. I sometimes feel as if my life is peopled by ghosts. Nice warm hearted ghosts but ghosts none-the-less. New people will come into my life's eventually but the dying always leaves a space in my heart when they go. I know in a way it is morbid thinking but in other ways it is seemly that we farewell friends in order to feel more comfortable with our own mortality. And so dear friends I go forward, doing what I can to be a comfort to others, a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on. Among my widow friends there are those who need support but also those who support me. I am always grateful for your support on here too. Being a widow would become a lonely life were it not for the support of family and good friends.

Why is it at Strokenet whatever we start the conversation with it always seems to finish with food? Great blog Kevin. The way you put so much into your life you are bound to get a lot more out of living.

Kelli, I have Muslim friends as I do have friends who have views on all forms of religion and those who have no views on religion at all. I have always mixed with all kinds of people, without any thought of race or culture, I was brought up in a neighbourhood where we all came from different backgrounds. All I was saying that by avoiding the discussion of our differences and emphasising our commonality our friendships have blossomed.

Kelli, I am a Christian but often meet up with people of other faiths too. Within reason we get along well by avoiding those things that are awkward for our particular version of faith. I don't post a lot of "Christian stuff" on Facebook, instead I post wise sayings that apply to us all. Love your attitude to life Kelli. Big hugs.

Kev in every plan there has to be a plan for things going wrong. I think you have already realised that. Look after your body and take extra care when you are sick. Plenty of liquids, nourishing food and plenty of rest and you will be well again soon.

Kelli, I am sure you will be the coolest Mimi. What a lovely gift your father gave - a week's accomodation, so no need to rush the visit. It will be great to see pictures. He is so cute now. He will remember you from the next visit.

Fantastic news... I have a PET sca n every year as a follow up to melanoma. I hope it will be a clean bill,of health for me too.

I don't have a big garden but love to grow salad greens and herbs. When I have to buy salad leaves it is never the same. I am glad you have found someone to partner up with and wish you all success in your next growing season. Your daily routine is pretty strenuous so don't be too discouraged by the occasional fall from grace.