swilkinson

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Blog Entries posted by swilkinson

  1. swilkinson
    I used to dream one day I would leave, walk away, never come back. I would get in my car and drive, far, far, away. I used to have that dream early in my time as a caregiver. I think it was saying that I had the choice; I could leave any time I wanted to. We all know that is not the case; life is far more complicated than that.
     
    Ray used to work at a mental hospital; he carried a large bunch of keys, door keys, cupboard keys, ward keys, safe keys, keys to padlocks and keys to openings and gates all over the large mental hospital. He used to say:
  2. swilkinson
    A word to the wise that is what caregiver chat is all about. Speaking about any issue on caregiver chat we are discussing what our lives are like now and how we can move that forward in a practical sense.
     
    Ray and I are going away for a few days, Trev and Edie will be using our house as they move into their new rental a few houses down. It has been chaos here for three days as we have all muddled in together.
     
    Yesterday when Ray went off to Daycare Lukie and I went out in the car and did a few things, shopping, visiting his Nanna, and taking a birthday present to my old friend Claude who turned 92 on Monday. We also went to an old bargain store and he roamed around and we bought $3 worth of bargains for him. All kids like a new monkey, a coloring book and a video they can see over and over again at Granny Sue
  4. swilkinson
    Facing reality is always tough. I have been doing it a lot lately as I have realised that I am not as strong as I use to be and some of the heavy work I used to do is now not possible. That includes picking Ray up off the floor. Each time I have a massage the masseuse asks me if I know how bad my back is? It is not bones it is the muscles I pull from lifting Ray, they don
  9. swilkinson

    away this weekend

    By swilkinson,

    Just back from my weekend away, it was so hot! And sleeping in a long low building with bunkrooms on these humid nights was not so much fun but it was a change, and a change is as good as a holiday, or so the saying goes. Pity we were kept so busy but I did get a walk along the lakeshore this morning so I mustn
  11. swilkinson

    coping day to day

    By swilkinson,

    Lately I have been fending off people who tell me it is time to put Ray into care. Largely it is because they like me and want me to survive being a caregiver. I know what they mean about the chances being loaded against the caregiver and the posibility that the caregiver will die first. A lot of caregivers do here. And those who outlive their care recipient often don't go on to live a good life as their health finally breaks down from the stress and strain.
     
    I'll go on looking after Ray for a while yet, with maybe three breaks this year as I can afford to fund them. I used to save money each year to go on holidays, now we don
  12. swilkinson

    some positives

    By swilkinson,

    Time to feed some positives into my blog. So here are some good things about my life.
     
    Trev came over yesterday and steam cleaned the carpets. He is busy with his new little family so I don
  13. swilkinson
    It is 3am,
    A thud, a groan
    Shine the light
    He is gone
    Down on the floor
    Groaning
     
    A pungent smell
    Reason for rising
    In the dark
    Without the light
    Crying out
    Not again
     
    Make the call
    Which service?
    Ambulance please
    Man down
    On his back
    Gazing at the ceiling
     
    Pressures and pulses
    He seems okay
    Previous damage
    He's had strokes
    Can he get up?
    Turn on the shower ma
  15. swilkinson

    busy days ahead

    By swilkinson,

    I hate to even think about it but the summer school holidays finish on Friday and it is time to go back to all the organisations to which we belong to start a new year again. This means the annual general meeting season is upon us with all the usual
  17. swilkinson

    getting inspired

    By swilkinson,

    Where do you get your inspiration?
     
    I think this is a good question. It has been something I have wondered at all my life. I know where I get my inspiration, it is from the people around me. It is as if there is a vast pool of
  19. swilkinson
    I always feel so sorry for the third wife, the first wife gets the years of high energy and vigor, the second wife gets the middle income years and ends up with the money and the third wife gets the pain and suffering and learns the true meaning of:
  20. swilkinson
    I spent a few days last week trying to find out what the complaint mechanism process was for putting in an official complaint against my care provider for not sending someone last Friday. In the end I decided it was just too much trouble at this time of the year and I just haven
  23. swilkinson

    a "lovely" weekend

    By swilkinson,

    Some weekends are more like running a marathon than a relaxing time off. We had our grand daughter here from Friday afternoon. I was meant to mind her little brothers all day Friday but finished up only looking after them for a couple of hours late in the afternoon and when Tori came she wanted to stay so soft hearted Granma said:
  24. swilkinson

    joys shared

    By swilkinson,

    If you have never been away for a weekend with 20 or so other women I guess you will not understand a lot of what I am writing about here. This was my fourth WAGS Women
  25. swilkinson

    end of respite

    By swilkinson,

    Just this weekend to go and Ray is back full-time into my care. And from second week in December it is full-time as that is when all the services disappear until the end of January. That is when all the helping hand agencies take a heap of time off. I guess that is because the volunteers are all old and the Christmas period is full on for them without all they do as volunteers adding to that busyness.
     
    I have spent a lot more time with Mum, which has been really good. I do so feel I neglect her sometimes just squeezing visits into when I have the time. It has been good to be able to respond to her good days by spending longer with her and one day it was two hours as I was able to help her with lunch and then take her out in the wheelchair for an hour in the lovely gardens and she could hear the parrots in the trees and feel the breeze on her face. It will soon be too hot for that.
     
    My time off has been a mixed blessing. I have caught up a bit the housework, sorted out a few things for Christmas, and washed a few curtains. I have bought most of the grandchildren