swilkinson

Congratulations Sarah and Gary, you're both strong people. Sarah I know how much you have struggled to get this far, 14 years of hard, continuing caregiving surely takes its toll. And yet you maintain your sense of humour. You and I had our time together in Hawaii and I am so glad we did. Hope you have the best summer ever. Blessings on you both. 

(((hugs)))

Ray had a lot of resentment that he was disabled, sometimes about me being well and so not understanding his plight. That is why Scallywags, the men's stroke group  he belonged to was so good for him, they were stroke-affected men so understood what it was like to be male and disabled.

Thanks Tracy.

I know I don't understand, only another stroke survivor who has similar symptoms can. And unfortunately fewer and fewer of them are reading the blogs  and posting comments now. That is why sometimes I just say: " (((hugs))).

I got that way for a year or so after Ray died, I put it down to anxiety attacks. It passed after a while. It could also be related to the stroke in your case. You might mention it to your doctor, maybe there's a solution. In my case it was easier once I got my head around being alone. I rarely get that now.

Thanks Pam and Kelli. I really value you both. Got to keep on keeping on, the only way we can go is forward.

Asha, I hope you have soon pain free too. Pain takes away the joy in life.

Prayers coming your way. So sorry your doctors don't "get" your disabilities. I found that with Ray too, I was always asked to help him stand, sit, climb up , hold still. I know that is what caregivers do but what happens to those who come without a caregiver?

I can't comment on the aspect of living in a disabled body but on the subject of loss and disbelief  I have been known to hear a noise and call out to Ray, who has been dead over five years. I do know he is not here but still waking out of sleep think he is. Some things we can never truly get over or as Heather says can't internalise.

Kelli, that is amazing, you just walked into the woman's life just when she really needed someone like you.I am glad she took up the offer of free classes, hopefully your friendship will blossom there. You have so much to offer as a friend and may be a way of helping give her new enthusiasm for life.

Happy Birthday, hope you and your twin enjoy every minute of your time together. You are right, a little practical help is the best present. Hope you have/ had fun together. 

You know how much you mean to me Pam, and how much you have helped me on my journey. I am one of those strange people who do remember others are worse off than me. When I am in pain  people like you inspire me to be brave and stronger because my suffering is only temporary. Keep on being you my friend and in the process educating and empowering others.

We say: "Keep on keeping on." I guess that is the same thing. Asha you always have an inspirational thought that resonates with me. Thank you.

Hope Spring happens for you soon, just sitting out in the sun can raise your spirits and make you feel better. Mum used to give us lemon juice and honey for sore throats, much better than steroids. Some viruses seem very hard to shake off so hopefully you are better soon .

Thanks for reposting this Steve, we all need a challenge. Come on bloggers - I am sure you can do a 100 things blog.

I can see in a way that a picture without sound does enable you more control. I think we've all wanted to  rewrite an ending so maybe that is what your husband is doing. I did go through a stage when Ray was in the nursing home when out of a large collection of DVDs I could only watch about three of them. I put this down to stress. I simply! I wanted some stability in my life and so I wanted movies where I knew the ending. Perhaps you could take your husband to his doctor to see if this behaviour is anxiety based.

Love, crush or not, is always a good feeling as long as you know it cannot be reciprocated. Look around there might be someone almost as attractive among your present friends. After all it is almost Spring in your part of the world and in Spring a young girl's fancy may turn to love 😘

Finally got the two leg drains out so only one more to go but that one will have to be on for up to three months. I need to make an effort now to stop being the patient and start being me, even if it is in loose fitting dresses to disguise the drain, another learning curve for me.

Sandy that is a fantastic idea , especially with Spring and warmer weather on the way Then you should be able to plan some outdoor activities too.

Asha you have a very special husband, exceptional really. I know you appreciate what he has allowed you to do, I know from experience how hard it is to stand by and watch someone you love struggling to relearn old skills. I hope the happiness you two have found together continues as you live out your lives.

Hard to believe that kiddo is a grown man of 21 now. As his parents you have done a great job of raising a fine young man. Yes, he probably has his faults but we all do. He will do things in ways you would have done differently but by accepting him as he is you will regain your peace of mind…

Hope you get the summer you deserve. You work so hard you need time for you to enjoy the activities that relax and renergise you. Sarah I hope you get the help you need son, someone steady and reliable.

So true, parents that gave us a great start in life, gave us support and encouragement and helped us to have values. I am very grateful for that and tried to do the same for my three children. Like you I do have some days when things go wrong and I am down and it takes an effort to get back up again so I look for inspiration. I don't have to look any further than this group. You and Kelli and Sarah and so many others inspire me to go on, to have faith, to look forward not backward. Thank you Asha.

I went to the WAGS meeting today and it was so good to see those who have been an influence in the journey we have taken together due to Ray's strokes. The people in the group are showing their age now as I am sure I am but old friends are the best friends. So good to have them in my life and that we are ageing together.