swilkinson

Don't you just hate those long medical days? We have them too. You don't have to like it, just DO IT!! Sue.

Got a new prayer for you Pam: "Lord, give me the strength to put up with the people who are going to p**s me off today." This is not original thought. It is the slogan on a Tshirt I am giving my youngest for his birthday, I bought it today. He too gets impatient with people who seem to have thoughts which are mostly about themselves. Please stay and give us the benefit of your wisdom. And sometimes your more stringent answers to life's "little problems" allow us to see life more in perspective. Sue.

Butch It is an attitude thing with Ray. We have been married 36 years so we know each other pretty well. I've been cheerleader here for six years and it does get tiring. But it is 'move it or lose it ' so exercise has to be done.He is unmotivated since strokes in 1999 but if I say:"Come on mate, it has to be done, let's do it now and get it over with, then a nice cuppa, right?" a sort of pragmatic approach, he does the exercise. For me the tiredness is now part of life. It regulates my day because of Ray's need to sleep all afternoon we are now morning people. I get tired toward the end of the day too because I do all the house and yard work so I space out for half an hour around 5pm. BUT there are a lot of good things in our life, it isn't the life we want, it is the life we have chosen. Well I have chosen to stay and look after Ray. Ray, like Lisa, didn't have the choice!!!

MM, we need to look at our kids/grandkids enjoying life and be more like them, make a bit of mess, have a bit more fun. How can we say we are preparing for "holidays" it we make them seem drab, dreary and just plain hard-work? I too make blessings into burdens and then complain that I am Soooo busy. And that doesn't leave a lot of time to just love life. I'm with Bonnie, I think your life has a lot of worthwhile stuff in it, so relax and enjoy it more. Sue.

This is one of the problems of our mobile society, we all move away from home and when there are problems it is hard to decide what to do. Firstly I guess your dad is on anti-depressants, if you can you might ask if there is another one he can take to help with the crying. Then consider how you can help him through the visit, taking special food, favourite music, magazines he likes etc. to make it a happy visit. Have you talked with the staff to find out what his emotions are like day to day? It might be that he behaves differently in front of you as a release of emotion occurs. I agree with Jean that it would be good if he could be close to one of his family, unless there is a special reason for him being where he is, such as access to old friends who will visit him. I moved my parents in with me, made for a lot of work and stress but I would do it again. Have a conference of family and friends and get a few options to look at. Also, if possible at the facility he is at now at have a conference with some of the staff and find out their slant on his future. it is all a very big decision. You will be in my prayerss. Sue.

Mary You forgot to mention you are a most talented artist! And an amazing woman too. Sue.

Hi Phyllis Our church has just gone into the season of Advent so our current colour is purple! Prayers for you building program coming your way. Sue.

Ray and I bumped into old girlfriends of his sometimes, I was good friends with the sister of one of them and didn't know. I guess all you can do is smile and be gracious. And try not to be jealous if you are going to be seeing a lot of her and her kiddo. Like Asha I always enjoy your blogs about family. Sue.

Phyllis, sometimes we are blessed to be one of the witnesses and not the main participant in a drama. I just keep praying that the person will have good care and be restored to good health. Glad you enjoyed your dinner, even though you ate too much. Sue.

No Thanksgiving Day in Australia , due to our history, but I do wish you all the best on your special day. Funny how special holidays often have attachment , like your memory of your son's death. Mine is St Patricks Day which was also my late beloved Dad's birthday. Bonnie, there sure is a lot to be thankful for and we'd be more cheerful if we sat down more often to remember our blessings. Sue.

Hi Jan We all get bitter and twisted sometimes. I can be the soul of patience with Ray up to a point and then one ounce more trouble and the volcano blows!! And I haven't had a stroke. Frustration just builds up without my even noticing. There should be a red light coming on to warn people. Loved your blog. It could be mine some days. Sue.

We don't have Thanksgiving Day is Australia, having a different history but it's nice to share in a "virtual" one with friends here. Acceptance leads to peace with yourself that makes life much easier. Congratulations Linda on how far you have come with your recovery. Sue.

Strokes, for survivor and caregiver, do sharpen the ability to rejoice at the small things. Amy, hope what you put in the dishes brings joy to others too. Asha, I love your blogs about your kido. Perry playing with dolls, or any other games small children allow you to join them in, is very therapeutic. Happy Thanksgiving to you all. I am just so thankful for this site, and all of you.

Too much on your mind. SLOW down! I'm smiling, Ray has gone to Camp Breakaway till Friday morning, it is expensive at $200 for three days but it is like one big party, lots of entertainment and great food and he loves it. And I have a couple of days free of worrying about him. Hope tomorrow is a better day for you. Sue.

Caregiving is a day-by-day activity. Some days you wake up strong and can take on the world, other days you wake up and want to shut your eyes and make it all go away. I've been doing it for over six years now and it is like a rollercoaster ride. But if you can use humour, silliness and fun to keep you going it does lighten the load. You have to be serious most of the time but that inner child needs to be let out to play too. Keepongoing is a name I could have called myself too. Sue.

So much food!! Wish I could just "drop by". We have nothing like Thanksgiving in Australia. The first settlers were convicts, soldiers and the original inhabitants who got rapidly decimated. The next wave were free settlers and political refugees then other migrants. In the 1850's the gold rush brought people from all over the world. Our holidays are Australia Day, Anzac Day which falls close to Easter, Queens Birthday weekend, Labour Day weekend, Christmas, Boxing Day. Family celebrations are birthdays, Mother's Day, Father's Day. Enjoy all your get-togethers. Sue.

Stan A day is not a problem, it is when they want to move in for three months!! Seriously though I usually make as much time as I can for friends and family but sometimes someone calls when I am fully timed out myself, and they must think I am not much of a friend then when I say "no". We just all do our best, well those of us who come here anyway. Sue.

Sorry you are having a "down" day, I think they come with the territory. Be glad Rolly still asks what he can do, Ray never does now, just assumes I will do it all. Put on your red hat and have a special dessert, whatever usually cheers you up. Sue.

Hamburger (or what we call minced meat) also come in chicken, pork, veal as well as beef and that gives you more variety too. Do you have ideas about what you would like to eat that would be easy to prepare and simple to write down step by step so you could teach her how? We like some foods our children eat but not others. Difficult for our son who lives here but I compromise, sometimes I cook what he likes, sometimes I cook what I like and sometimes I cook two different meals. His contribution is the BBQ which we have with hot or cold side dishes.

Coffee anyone? Sue.

While I now live in place where cold is just sweater weather I was born in England. I remember snow as something cold and wet and after being out in it taking a long time to warm up again. I have driven over icy roads during our time out west but not snow-covered roads. I think you are very brave to do such a long trip under such bad circumstances to help your husband in his recovery. Bravo. Sue.

Hi Mary The struggle to recover is hard. I too sit here crying some nights, not from my own struggle but looking after Ray. I too have a son that ignores me when I ask for help. But that is normal. So he is treating you as he would if you were well. Time to pin the list on the wall! Floor washing - Wednesday-Jimmy. Take courage. Life isn't perfect. Sort out what is manageable for you when you achieve more pat yourself on the back, when you don't, relax. The world is going to go on spinning anyway. I think you are doing great. Sue

Sandy, don't worry about how life is going to work out if John becomes more dependent, it may not happen. And do you have any thoughts on how you uncombine your life again? That is beginning to worry me more. Sue.

Good on you Vicky, not only for being hoe alone but in striving to achieve all you do. Hope this time of making you own decisions and doing your own thing leads to new confidence. Sue.