swilkinson

Now you need to master the wok, heat some oil, throw in thinly sliced meat and stir for a while, throw in sliced vegetables,chopped up herbs etc, stir a few minutes more. Serve, hot, fresh, seasoned to perfection. My youngest son has it down to a fine art. He taught himself from illustrated step-by-step books. Marvellous what you can do when you put your mind and enthusiasm together. Sue.

Ray's diagnosis was the result of a series of tests including MRI and MRA, cognitive, brainwave (forgot the initials), and a discussion with a psychologist. I think I would say he has seriously slipped cognitively in the last six months by my observation. It is noticeable now that he answers most questions: "I don't know." whether he later talks about the same issue or not. It is no good glossing over his defects, from time to time I honestly now that he is losing his memory both short and long term. There is no question of him going into care, he is only 63 and most is funded for the over 65's so I have a couple of years grace (I hope) but I may have a look at a couple of weeks respite early next year and see what that does. My GP is against respite but he is like that. Right now I am exhausted at the thought of what lies ahead but Jean, like a rubber ball I just keep bouncing back. Don't worry, all will eventually make sense, or we will make it into nonsense for our own amusement. Sue.

Also widens your vocabulary and language skills. I never got past the sentence:"But me no buts and and me no ands." It's fascinating stuff isn't it? Sue.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, remember? As 99.5% of the people looking at you don't really see you anyway that's not a lot who do to bother about. You probably look a lot more awkward to yourself, you know what you used to look like but if you sit down for a coffee and study the rest of humanity walking by some of them look different too. Sue.

I'm the picky one in our family now and sometimes I just hate myself for it. When the home truths start to get too much, just walk away. I think mine stems from frustration and from the "if only" feeling. If only they would just do as I say life would be perfect, or alterantely NOT. Breathe in slowly, turn, walk away. Sue.

Throwing a TT from time to time is like laughing or shouting, it's good for you. It also is good for those around you, it shames them into helping you as they should have in the first place. Sue.

Just an echo of what Pam said. We grew up poor and different (English accents in Australia, were called Poms and immigrants) none of it harmed me, in fact it made me more compassionate. Give your kids some credit and some choices. Make some wish lists. Dreams can come true. The face in the mirror is not the 'real' you. Sue.

Hugs and prayers for you both. Sue.

Big number of guests for the weekend are a mixed blessing. When we lived in the country we used to greet guests with:"What did you bring?" If it was beer or cold food it needed refrigerating on hot days. If it was a pot of soup or pies it might need to be heated. No-one came empty handed and expected meals served to them, they all got up and helped. It is a good idea to ask guests to bring a contribution if not the whole meal, fresh cookies and cake make afternoon tea, fresh eggs and bacon make breakfast (sorry Sandy!!) .Some do need to be asked but they fade away after a while. Take Jeans suggestion, order take out, sit down and enjoy! Sue.

If you are amused by Australia being on the other side of the seasons you should be here for Christmas! Some years it is a HOT summer day, long cool drinks, wilting salads, seafood and cold meats are what our family prefers but some folk still try for the full European hot baked dinner and all the veggies. Pure madness in our heat. Feel sorry for Santa still in the big red suit! Will try to cheer up. And thanks for reading my woeful blogs.

Hi Bonnie Adverse medical reports send us into a tail spin too. You are doing so well in your own life that what your body is doing seems irrelevant until the doctor points out the realities. Sometimes I know where the saying "ignorance is bliss" comes from! I am so glad you have support from John when you need it. Thanks for what you do here. I look forward to you posts and blogs and when I am feeling blue just have to think of others whose load is so much heavier than mine and it helps me make that extra effort.Hope your rest day has the effect of giving you the boost you need. Sue.

I think manopause hits when you finally slow down enough for it to catch up. Here we call it "mid-life crisis" so somewhere between 35 and 45 you get to the spot where you say those things like "Is this all there is to life" and "Where do I go from here?". It's not a bad thing to look at your life and see how you can make it better. We all have room for improvement. Sue.

Sandy, funny you should mention your Mum and using the phone to keep friends. I was talking to a slight acquaintance today whose husband has had quite a severe stroke. She says they never go to Sydney any more and that is where the majority of her friends are. Instead she has scheduled them to ring her and chat on designated nights of the week. One woman at either end, each with a glass of wine, two hours later, two tired but contented women. I can't see that working for me but it might for some people. Sue.

Yep, that's the spirit. Get your own camera, make your own career. Go Janice!!!

Friend of a friend started her own business with a camera. She photographs flowers, grasses etc, mainly in friends gardens and prints her own cards and business cards using her own copyrighted designs. She is as much an artist as she is a photographer but says she can do it at her own pace (she has health problems) and that's what she likes about the new business. Can't help you about when you get out of the whiner stage, I climb out of the black hole for a while and then fall in again. Sue.

Ray and I both worked prior to his stroke. At first having the Disability Pension and Carers Pension as they are called here seemed demeaning. Now six years post-stroke we think of ourselves as retired. It is no big deal. Our retirement is working out well, not what we planned but what happened is the reality. Sue.

Phyllis, I think it is aloneness rather than loneliness that a lot of people suffer from, the fact that they can call out and no-one will answer. When Ray was in hospital for 41/2 months I would be with him most days and then come home exhausted but by 9pm that alone feeling would settle on me. I hadn't found this site of course, didn't think of the internet in those days. I am glad you find plenty to fill in your time. If you get lonely I am sure you know how to reach out to others who would enjoy a chat too. Sue.

Joy, does Hans have swallowing difficulties? I have to notify my doctor if Ray has a low fever as it can be lung infections from aspiration. An antibiotic usually fixes it and his appetite returns. I am heading towards thickened liquids now for him. Selling your house is a big thing isn't it? My yard and the garage full of junk are two of the things stopping me selling but down the track it may have to happen. We can't move close to relatives as ours live all over the place. Sue.

Mary, you seem to be iiving life to the full, that's what we all aim for. Have a great week. My "me" time is things like making the chutney, I really enjoy cooking. Sue.

My husband Ray was in hospital 41/2 months and we had a few false starts before he came home. I think we both felt it was never going to happen and were real glad when he finally was home. That was just over six years ago. Hang in there. Sue.

Had a mentor who said: "If you want to know who you are strip naked and look into the mirror. That is who you are going to be all day." It works for me. I know who I am but dressed, with my makeup on and a sweet smile on my face I can deceive a lot of others. Sometimes I am a fat, ugly blob taking up space too. Sue.

I miss you when you're not around. Glad to hear you got rid of a lot of the garage sale items. Leave what you don't want in the house, the buyer will think he got a bargain!! Moving is stressful so take it easy for a while and when you get settled we'll expect to see words of wisdom gained from going through another of life's interesting experiences. Sue.

Maybe you are looking on the outside instead of the inside. Remember it is what is IN the package that counts, not what it is wrapped in. Think sunny days, it is a lovely morning here as I wirte this to you. Absolutey super. Hugs from OZ, Sue.

Hey , by the time Jan 21st comes you surely will be perfect. There are many walking styles and you just adopt whichever one suits as long as you are safe! Hope the venue is perfect, the weather sublime and the bride radiant and upright. Sue.

When Ray used to yell I did what you did. Walk away. I used to have high blood pressure, the advice from my doctor was: "Just walk away." I asked :"What about running away?". He said:"That's okay as long as you are prepared to run back." He was a good doctor and a good friend, gone to glory now but still remembered. Keep courage, there's a long way to go yet.