swilkinson

I remember family Sundays, a long time ago, picnics or BBQs in summer, soup and toast in winter.

Yes, sharing events, doing things together, enjoying each others' company, supporting one another, that is what marriage is all about.

Seems to have worked this time Sarah. It is better to go straight to publish if you can, or as you say pull it back up, do a small alteration and then hit publish maybe. I only use draft if I haven't time to finish a blog which happens sometimes when I think I have more time than I do or I get an interruption. Hope you enjoyed the Super Bowl at Dan's place. I do worry about you and sleep though, 3-4 hours is nowhere near enough. I know Kelly is a hopeless butt wiper but maybe an occasional day when you need time alone she could take Gary to play pool and you could have an extra nap? Just a thought.

Well done Scott, I missed having that handy person around the house and car. But of course Ray was not able to do any of that. I bet your wife was pleased you were able to do these small jobs for her.

It may be the format. I use Open Office and it won't always take something I have copied and pasted. With one document I actually typed it into Facebook Chat, copied and pasted it and then deleted it from Facebook Chat, Try that using my name and if I see you have pressed enter by mistake I will just laugh , knowing what you are trying to do.

Scott, one of the reasons I have not left this site when my husband Ray died three years ago is that I never want to forget what stroke can do to your life. He would have agreed with some of what you have written as he had similar deficits. And of course a set of others you don't have. I know how it is to watch someone you love struggling to do a tiny amount of what they once did so easily and without even thinking about it. I still belong to a Stroke Recovery group. I am there for the love of both caregivers and survivors, brave men and women who do their best to deal cheerfully with a life that is far from being full of cheer.

Fred, you enjoy it all. I have never really followed a team here in Australia but one of my sons and I watched car racing for a while. He and Ray used to watch State of Origin (Rugby League), Queensland versus New South Wales but mostly because the "boys" got special snacks that night. Whatever you do go on enjoying life.

Asha, you are such a teacher to me. I think going to the temple for prayers is a great idea for the remembrance of your baby daughter. i wish more people would do that. I hope your Valentine's Day excursion is one of the best. Your husband is such a nice man, you really did find the angel who was so right for you.

Welcome back, always good to have someone come back and update us. I wonder if you are due to see the neurologist again to make sure nothing else is happening to you, to review the medication to make sure all of that is balanced or if fatigue is one of the problems to have a small vacation. Thank you for writing your blog I am so sorry it is not all good news for you, I know how hard you have worked to make these improvements to your life. You are doing so well in many ways that I am sure the things that are happening to your body now must be scary. I hope the medical profession can find some answers for you. Sue.

Some things change with age, and the way we think about life changes too. I am glad to be heading for 70, seems as if at that time life slows down a bit so you can enjoy it more. Hope you and your wife find that too.

I get some colourful parrots in my yard, some seabirds overhead as I am close to the beach and all the usual range of domestic birds throughout the year. I love that about where I live.

Yes, it is a bit deceiving when you get that first warmer spell but you might be able to get outside and enjoy the extra warmth, bit early for sunbathing...lol.

Swans usually come back to the same place. Not sure about geese. Bird watching is a good hobby.

It is hard to live with those who disrespect you and treat you mean and that is what is happening to you right now. I hope they move out soon and you get some peace. I agree with Yvonne, kids do remember if you treat them nice and they do respect you for it even if they don't feel they can tell you that.

No criticism from me. I was 43 when Ray had his first stroke so it could have been me. Keep in mind the extra pressure that may come from your new job and allow plenty of down time so you don't get sick again. Find some things you can enjoy doing alone. As a widow that is what i am trying to do, build a new life alone, not much fun but we can do it.

When I had kids at home I loved school holidays, I loved having my kids around the house, lots of noise, always something happening. Holidays were always the time when one or more of them would come and have a long talk about what was gong on in their lives, I would make an opportunity to sit down with them for a while without having to jump in the car and take them to the many places they needs to go, Scouts, football for the boys, Venturers and guitar lessons for Shirley. As a mostly stay at home Mum (Ray mostly worked shift work or on call) it was great to have that time with them. Of course the Christmas/summer holidays were longer and more tiring and we often found it hard towards the end to find enough to do to keep them busy so in a way I was glad to see the end of the holidays .By the end of seven weeks they were reluctant to go back but soon fitted back into the routine again. I am sure kids do these days too.And there was all the joy of them reporting who was back, who was still in their classes, who had moved, or had a new baby in the family. Of course I suppose some seemed to have done more exciting things but i would say "one beach is as good as another" and that had to do, we did not have the money to go here, there and everywhere. It was always a time of news, good and bad. I really miss all of that now in my retirement years. This holiday was special for me as I actually got to see all of my grandchildren. The holiday at Broken Hill meant I got to see a lot more of Alice than I do if I am there for a week. We got to know each other better and at her age (3 1/2) she needs to see me frequently to remember me. I spent a weekend at Shirley's place so saw her two children then and last night I had dinner with Pam and my three grandchildren from Adelaide, I usually see them during school holidays as that is when they come up to see their mother. Unfortunately I saw them only once this time but it is good to see them anyway and know they still remember who I am and are glad to see me. And that is the main thing, they were glad to see me. So now life goes back to something like normal as the meeting season starts , all the Annual General meetings, all the little sub-committee meetings. This is when I need the diary to keep tabs on all that is happening and make sure I am at the right place at the right time. This is also an opportunity to decide if I want to take on the same commitments as last year or if there is something else I would like to do instead. Not that I actually usually have a choice. I have three visitors from England coming from the 11th February for a month so whatever I am supposed to do will have to be suspended for some of that time as why would I have friends to stay if I am not prepared to spend some time with them? I spent the day at home today. No real commitments as I have done the monthly visit to the ladies in care. They were all pleased I was back because although life is busy for me for them once Christmas is over any family they have visit will have gone back to the own lives again. The next "must do" visit is Mother's Day in May. So sad that all the ones I visit are not included in their families' every day lives, having families who live a distance away in most cases, while two are singles ladies and have no family. It seems to be a fact of life that while some families are great and rally around their oldies in nursing homes keeping them informed, visiting regularly, including them as much as possible as a integral part of the family for others that just does not happen. We have had a lot of rain and while we haven't had flooding the ground is very soggy so I have long grass the mowing man having not been here since Christmas so the lawn is lavish to say the least. In fact I can get wet legs on the way to the clothesline now. There are also mosquitoes around so no going out gardening on dusk, which of course is an ideal time in mid summer when the days are so hot. My solution is to get out early and do an hour or so on the days when I have not a lot to do, today being one of those. I do love to garden so it is no burden, it is just that without Ray around there doesn't seem to be much point. Sure I like to look out on a neat back yard but who will join me in enjoying it now? I do so miss him still. I still miss Ray in lots of ways, we were such a big part of each others lives for 45 years. I feel that I have a hole in my life where he should be. I know people tell me to get over it, move on etc but that doesn't seem to be what is happening yet and I have doubts that it will,. All I can really do is get more comfortable with living alone, being alone a good majority of every day. I do fill my life up with activities as you know and to a certain extent that works for me, but in the end I come home to an empty house. And that is not yet a comfortable thing for me.

Exactly right SweeetMom, we all have to accept what is ahead of us and go on as cheerfully as we can. Hey Scott, stick around for a while eh?

I think I know where you are coming from Kelli, never been there but I do remmeber the awkwardness of meeting an old boyfriend with his new ladylove, freezing glances from her, shamefaced looks from him. All you can do is accept and try not to bump into them together.

Jay while it is a good idea to spread the support to other facilities make sure you do not tire yourself out. You have a good heart an a love of people that shines out of you. So just keep doing good deeds and much good will come from it.

I can imagine how much nicer it is for you now, to look at the garden, to have someone to talk to, share things with, someone who even likes your family coming to see you. This is real life now so just live day by day. If you can be just try living in the moment, it will be good for you. (((hugs))) from Sue.

Fred, your kids will always be your kids no matter how old they get. I have spent a lot of time this year supporting my younger son through the Family Court and know you just do whatever it takes. I hope your daughter makes the transition happily into the best life she can have. I am sure that is what you are praying for yourself. Just do whatever you can afford to do for her and let her know you are there for her when she needs you. And your grandson too. Grandparents are important, they have time and now you can be there in a way not possible when you were younger and tied to the job. Just keep going Fred, it is all we can do.

Donna, thank you for starting a blog and telling us about your life. We all have a story and reading another's story will often help. Don't worry about the "all about me" side of having a stroke, I think it is par for the course, just go as easy as you can on your husband (caregiver) because i know how frustrating a job that can be having done it myself. We do it out of love so if you can let him know you love him and appreciate what he does that will make a difference. I look forward to hearing more of your stroke story and encouraging you along the way.

Hope has to have a real chance of happening and maybe the nurse is thinking of that Jay, Yes, you can offer hope and prayers and positive thoughts or whatever the person is prepared to accept from you. But as I visit a lot of nursing homes I know that reality is somewhat harsher than we who have loved ones to care for us realise. Just accompany her on the journey as much as you are able to and leave the future to sort itself out.

Great Bruce has a sense of humor Debbie. You take care of your own needs too. All care and no play makes caregivers just that extra bit tired. You have done so much in seven years, working and looking after bruce so Debbie needs to find Debbie something SHE likes to do.

Heather, what you are doing is truly amazing. Keep up the good work. Surgery does seem an extreme idea but if it will be beneficial in your opinion go for it.