swilkinson

Ray was overdosed at the nursing home he was at because someone didn't sign off on giving him his meds. He had to go to hospital as they had doubled his insulin and his heart medication. Just stayed there six hours and back to the nursing home. I got an apology from the manager and was told the person involved had to be off the meds trolley for a week to get some more instruction.That is what should happen.

Jay, you are a treasure.

Jay, all of life is a miracle.

Great blog Katrina, thank you for sharing your stories with us. The wonderful thing here is that so many people blog and the combined result is that people can find a blog or blogger they relate to, just as your customer found your story so like her daughter's story. We can see how our life journey although so different from one another's when we share and comment helps us to learn to be supportive to each other too. We learn so much through what we experience as we struggle with life.

One of the things I hate about being a widow is not having someone to do things with. I had a dear friend who went to the movies with me or we would watch one in our own homes and then ring up and discuss it but she has become frail and no longer interested I am so glad you and roomie can share this pleasure.

If I read back in my blogs I see Ray and I going from one medical situation to another,a crisis, then hospitalization, diagnosis, treatment, physio...a period of stability and back on the merry-go-round. Julie all we can do is deal with each situation as it comes along and as you say in your case hope it is stability for the rest of the year. I hope so too. And you have to stay well yourself so you can deal with it all. (((hugs)))

Great news Pam, so glad she made it back "home".

Sarah, glad you are hanging in there. Good you can finally post a blog. You do have one still saved as a draft. If you have typed one and can't post it let me know and i can see if I can publish it for you.

Veta!!!! Welcome back, so glad to see you back on again. Sunshine comes from the feedback you get from all the friendly and supportive folk on Strokenet, that is why I am still here. My husband Ray died three years ago but the need to support others is still strong in me so I stayed on as Blog moderator and co-host of Caregiver Chat. You sound as if you have done really well but I know, from my experience as a widow that ongoing support really helps. So don't be afraid to reach out and we will be there for you. Sue.

Fred we certainly do d a lot of different jobs in a lifetime and now you can add "Kennel Operator" to you list. Have fun watching the puppies interact, we had a lady who bred poodles nearby once and I loved watching the pups play and tumble over one another. It will be quiet when they are gone and then you can go back to doing what you did before. Well done Kennel Master.

You're welcome. (((hugs)))

You have found an element of happiness in what is a bad situation for you. I love to read your blogs because of that. You are a great human being! (((hugs)))

As you all know I do a lot of visiting on behalf of the church and my Lions Club, I also visit people who have gone into nursing homes who have been in other parts of my life. I do it for a lot of reasons, partly I do it because I can. I can visit because of Mum being in a nursing home for so long. I got immune to a lot of what stops other people from visiting. As stroke caregivers and survivors we have learned a lot of different skills, some of which overflow into other parts of our lives. We learn tolerance, we learn compassion and we learn how even a small acknowledgement of how stroke and illness has changed our lifestyle and an affirmation that our day-to-day living is still relevant and worthwhile can make a huge difference in our lives and the way we feel about ourselves. And some of that carries over into my nursing home ministry. I am not afraid of death, disability or difference. When I walk into the nursing home I know how people will be, I know they will deteriorate over time and a lot of ugly things will happen to them but throughout that process they are still worthwhile human beings. Of course the same thing happens with people in their own home, we just don't see it happening and so we can ignore it. But ignorance is never bliss no matter what how the saying goes. We all need to be prepared for the future and aware that what the future contains is not always how we would like it to be. it is partly because I am a realist that I can do this. I have been supporting an old friend through the transition into a nursing home from an Assisted Living apartment. Her son who is her main caregiver is also a friend of mine. I try not to be there at the same time as him as I need to be just a friend who drops by to see her. The family closed her apartment down this week and it has been hard on her, it shows in her eyes but she still puts on a smile for them. She has not got to put on a smile for me. She is accepting of the change, knew it would come but it is still hard, all changes are hard at 95. People say silly things like "she has had a good long life" but we all know those platitudes don't mean much to the person having to go through it. Our lives are lived day-by-day and we all live them as bravely as we can and in a way we all need to have others acknowledge just how tough the journey can be. Sometimes I do get tired of the struggle as I accompany people on their journey. I trained to be a Chaplain, finishing in 1995 and although I have never had a job in which that has been acknowledged or paid for in a way I have done a lot of chaplaincy work. I have done it for the church and in other organisations I have been in, including Lions. Sometimes as you know I do get weary of doing good and I do wonder, in my own times of need, who will be there for me. I know this is a selfish thought but we all have them, us do-gooders. I have to remember I don't do it for that reason, I do it because my life training has enabled me to do it. On a brighter note my Salvation Army family (my daughter's family) is being moved from four hours south of where I live to an hour's journey north of me. I am sooooo pleased. They of course are devastated as they have lived in Shell Harbour for six years now and have put down deep, deep roots and that is going to be an upheaval on a large scale for them, particularly for the children. But for me it will be wonderful to have family so close again when they have all been so far away from me. Just to have an emergency backup when I need it will be so good. And as it will be just an hours drive to see them it means I will be able to go to special days at the school, to birthday parties etc. The move takes place mid-January so not for a while but it is something to look forward to. And it is Spring and the days are longer, the nights short and yes, that tired feeling is back as I try to fit too much into one day, my usual mode of operating. I've got to say I do like most parts of my life, there are those parts where I come under other people where I do not always approve of decisions made and there is a lot going to change in my church in the coming year. But there is still an aching gap where Ray used to be. Can't disguise it, can't extinguish it, still have to work around it. I miss him, plain and simple. But I have to go on alone as bravely as I can. I have got a full month this month and next month is going to be busier especially as I have a week at Broken Hill in the middle of it to support Trevor with the last Family Court sitting for the year. Unhappily his ex-wife has once again refused to negotiate so I don't know what the outcome will be. Anyway it will be good to see him and to spend some time with him and my grand daughter Alice. I love them both heaps. I think in the end it is love that saves us, the love of family, the love of friends and the love of a special person if it comes to that. And with my faith the love of God comes into it too. There is still a missing element in my life but I am grateful for what I have right now.

Well done (couldn't resist that one).

Yes indeed, you are spot on there.

I don't think it is egocentric at all, it is just your world and your way of looking at it. Keep on blogging, I am enjoying looking through the "windows" you show us.

Pam I love your blogs. i can see you in my mind's eye swamping the bathroom as you wash your hair at the sink. I do that too, my Mum was a hairdresser and brought me up to wash my hair over a basin. Of course we dd not have a shower back then. People who hate us, despise us , ignore us, there will always be some of them. Just find a workaround as much as you can and if you can't then a complaint might help, or might not as you know. Sue.

Yes Mitch, garding is good therapy.I'm glad you have the strength to do that. Holidays ahead of you give you something to look forward to. I do try and avoid the thinking about the ex of one of my children, the other is still a good friend, funny how life goes. Wherever it goes we have to learn to cope with it.

Yeah!!! Something to make life easier is just what you need.Great news Pam.

Welcome back Lynn and welcome back to blogging. I hate it when people leave without saying goodbye...lol. That is a lot of operations and procedures to go through in one year for sure. And yes, hospital is never a place to get a nice rest. PS. 65 is not so bad, I am now 68 and that is great!!

Hey you came all the way to Sydney and you did not contact me? I live an hour and a half north of Sydney. Never mind, the main thing is that you came and enjoyed the experience. Good for you!

Sounds really scary. You are learning all the time as a caregiver eh?

A very good thing to do. In the 18th century the posy was invented. It was often made of lavender and highly scented flowers. It was carried by high class ladies to put under their noses so they did not smell the garbage and worse that littered the streets of London. You are a posy for sure.

What a great moment, I know how excited Bob would be to do something that seemed NORMAL in his world view. Good for you and Fred for helping him on, for giving instructions and then trusting your instincts and allowing it to happen. I did wince at the vision of him driving it between two cars though, that could have been a recipe for disaster for sure.

Kelli, just take it a day at a time, as you go on the story will unravel and you will have a clearer view of what happened, what has been done, what needs to be done. Your son has youth on his side, he may not be as wise as you would like but this incident may be a turning ppoint for him. Treat it all as lightly as you can, use your sense of humor and remember to just love him as he is now. Adding you all to my prayers.