swilkinson

I will add my prayers too. You guys are all very special to me.

Nancy, in the last nine years since Ray died I have gone over and over what I could have done differently, what we could have done to prevent his stroke etc. But every time I come back to what I would have lost I had never met the people who have been so important in my life since then yourself included.Then I come to the conclusion that life is how it is meant to be

I try to be positive about the lockdown which looks Iike going on until the end of October. I have a daily diary on Facebook that a lot of people seem interested in. I do try and keep in touch with as many people as I can because I have time. Housework can wait. But it is sometimes emotionally tiring as most people are going to tell me their problems. Anyway one day this will be over and I can't wait for that to happen.

I am still in lockdown, just as we were due to come out of lockdown our numbers in our local government area (LGA) began to rise. Only about 25 a day but with all the other late winter ailments that send people to hospital ours can't cope if numbers get too high. So the stay-at-home order continued. I am disappointed that once again I will miss out on a visit from any of my grandchildren for their school holidays. I so look forward to Trevor and Alice coming but once again that is impossible. Today is Day 76 in lockdown and tonight I will do another entry on my Facebook page and tell my friends what I did today. Not exciting stuff but people seem to find they can relate to it . I guess it is a little like Seinfeld's program, much ado about nothing. I keep in touch with as many people as I can from church an the other groups I belong to but it is no substitute for seeing them in person. Life is hard for single retired people but harder still for my disabled friends in the WAGS group who have so few resources they can count on. I still talk to Peter every second night, we have been doing this for eighteen months now. We talk about everything and nothing but it breaks down the isolation for us both. His LGA has been released from lockdown so he will have more to tell me about his day. I also still belong to the nightly prayer group so have a different form of communication with that. I sometimes attend church by YouTube and this morning attended West Armidale, the church Peter attends, by Zoom. My old iPad is good for Zoom and Messenger. So you see me on Facebook and want a chat that's fine. My garden had been my major occupation since the beginning of the lockdown so it is good that it is showing some results, more blooms, stronger plant growth. I also potted up bulbs, daffodils and jonquils and have enjoyed their blooming. In past years I have been do busy with other pursuits and my garden received little care, so the lockdown has enabled me to spend more time on it. I can still call in to the local garden centre and buy seedlings as that is considered helping my mental health. Although that is the more expensive part of gardening it also adds t the pleasure. I still crochet the cat mats for the RSPCA, write letters, sort boxes, do the housework etc. I know for me it is good to have a routine but also to have the opportunity to change it if I want to. I think I am finally contented in my own company, something that has enriched my life of solitude. I know it has been a long time coming as it is nearly nine years since Ray died now. Sometimes I feel sad, upset, lonely but that is inevitable. My children have busy lives, I cannot see my friends in person but I still have a lot to be thankful for. So friends, wherever you are, whatever you are doing, be well, keep safe. And I will do the same. We need to come out of this with a new purpose in life. To live life to the full.

Team spirit

Janelle I really hope so. The Premier keeps saying we can come out of lockdown when we reach 80% fully vaccinated, that could be November. I am like everyone else and sick of lockdown but don't want to do anything to cause it to be further extended. So it is stay home and stay safe.

Still under lockdown, not unexpected as numbers are still high. One commentator was saying people in the Western suburbs still live fifteen to a household. Really? Makes us sound Iike a third world country.

Baby Doll

Janelle, I am not usually a jealous person but that freedom to go out for coffee or lunch sounds so good!

Sounds wonderful, after nine weeks of lockdown we are hoping and praying for a release that will allow travel again. The stair climbing is impressive and the jewellery reward even more so. May you have many more weekends away to build memories worth keeping.

Looks like Sydney is in for another extension of lockdown for the month of September too. At the end of August the Central Coast is being unhooked from Greater Sydney and will become a regional Local Government Area again. We will still have lockdown but hopefully with hair dressers, clothes shops etc

Ring master

Telephone call

Willis. A huge move but you took it at your own pace and that worked in your favour. A downstairs bedroom is what you need when you are older. I hope you are very happy there.

Heather, it is the uncertainty I think, the rumour is now that this will be extended into September for us as daily figures are getting higher not lower. And I have done a lot of the things suggested. So life becomes tedious. I am usually good at amusing myself but there are gaps in my life that are harder to fill. Last year with the thyroid operation etc I was aware of my own vulnerability so that was a factor. This year I want to get back into life again.

ASHA, it is the length of time I think that is starting to get to me. I am running out of interesting things to do, running out of wool for the cat mats too. Fortunately a neighbour put out plastic pots he no longer wanted and a friend brought me some potting mix so I'll be right for the next week or two. I can put out lettuce plants and herbs.

It seems a long time since I last posted a blog. I have been in what feels like imposed solitude since June 26th along with 5 million or so other people. We are in a huge area known as Greater Sydney, we haven't had many cases but because so many people commute from the Central Coast to businesses in Sydney and the surrounding areas whenever parts of Sydney go into lockdown we do too. It annoys the locals as we don't get the benefit of living in Sydney just the side effects. We will not come out of lockdown until after August 28th. I had the sad situation of Trevor and Alice arriving on the 26th June at 5am to spend a week with me only to leave again at 5pm to avoid being locked in for the duration. Thirteen hours drive each way between here and Broken Hill so a bad start to Alice's two week school holidays. She and Trevor had to go into isolation for fourteen days when they got back to Broken Hill so deeply regretted they didn't have time at "her beach" here on the coast. Trevor and Alice were confined to his house except for exercise and shopping. Trev said the time flew by with plenty in the craft box plus computer and games on her Switch occupying most of her time. I was devastated by their abrupt departure and sorrowful for days but got over it eventually. I guess because I am a widow I am used to my own company so although I don't have much outside contact the computer and the phone still connect me with friends and family. I have been posting a daily diary on Facebook and today is Day 40 of it so if you are a friend on my Facebook you will have seen how I spend my time. It is mostly gardening and housework and I am still crocheting the cat mats but recently I have added photo sorting as I found two shoe boxes of loose photos. These included some of my Dad's so I started sorting and then found some of his Uncle Jim who was a Beefeater and served in the Royal Household for our present Queen's father so decided to send copies to a cousin who is working on the family tree. I've joined a nightly prayer group, not from my church but a collection of people on the Central Coast, it is an assorted group but a good connection to a couple that I knew a long time ago. I think that this forced isolation has benefited me in the way that gives me extra time to sort out my life. I have in a way enjoyed the fact that there is very little I have to do that is scheduled so I can choose what to do when I choose to do it. I have never experienced that before. I went from my parents home to marry and live with Ray, from being a wife and mother to being a caregiver, from being a caregiver to being a widow and keeping busy doing so many things to block out the loneliness. But now there is none of that social outreach and so I can see life differently. What the future holds none of us knows. My friend Peter and I still talk via Messenger every second night, we can't visit as I am not allowed out of the Greater Sydney area. I still ring or text various other widows so we are up to date with what is going on in each other's life and what we struggle with. I still come on here and another couple of sites, filling in time mostly though I think that is another good connection that benefits others too. What is missing is the up close and personal contact, the socialising, the handshakes, hugs and sharing joy together. I really miss that. I hope that reoccurs as part of our new normal but I do know the old normal is not coming back. Whatever happens next is in other hands. I just have to continue to keep calm and allow myself the freedom to choose among the things I am still able to do and enjoy my life.

Sarah , I am glad it finally happened, that was a long wait for you. I am glad some of your family could be with you at the celebration. Many people who lost loved ones during the lockdowns we had last year and this year are hoping to do the same kind of event. We have been in lockdown since June 26th, won't come out of it until August 28tth at the earliest. Not a lot of cases of Covid locally but the southern suburbs of Sydney are the problem and so many commute to work from here as they can get better pay in Sydney.

ASHA, so good you had such a great vacation, your husband is a brilliant planner. What joy to see bears, elks and so much wildlife.I am so glad you had a fun time. We are still in lockdown for another four weeks so my big adventure ends at my back and front fence. Never mind this too will end.

Tracy. Part one seems fine, very readable. Welcome back my friend. Don't expect anything but the warmest of welcomes from me! Huge hugs to you.

Heather we didn't manage to get everyone together last year at all. Seems as if the Covid has broken the threads of our lives as a family. I hope that mends when our lives return to something Iike normal in the future but I somehow doubt it. For one thing the grandchildren will be two years older by then.And I will be older too.

We in Greater Sydney are in lockdown. This was supposed to be a great week with Trev and Alice here for her first week of the school holidays. They arrived on Saturday morning and left at 5pm on Saturday afternoon. This was due to an order that came out that we were going into lockdown because of cases of Covid-19 increasing in Sydney, the virulent Delta strain.They had two choices, get out of the Greater Sydney area before 6pm to go home and quarantine there in Broken Hill or to stay here for two weeks and then go home to fourteen more days of quarantine. That would mean Alice missing two weeks of school. And break the rules by which Trev has access. It was a very difficult decision to make and we were all in tears as we accepted what had to happen. Alice was particularly upset as she loves her weeks holiday on the coast with her opportunities for walking on the beach etc. Edie, Alice's Mum, was on the phone keeping us up with the new regulations, Alice and Trev were repacking the car and I was piling some food into a box to take with them. It was chaos! All our plans for the week we're no longer viable and thirteen hours drive ahead for Trev on less than four hours sleep! For me the scary part was the threat of isolation again. This was a stay-at-home order so another two weeks alone, no church, no Lions dinner, no coffee in the shops, no contact with friends. For people with local family only five people in the home but for me it will be two weeks mostly spent alone. I did this last year and somehow I survived I know but to go through that again was a daunting prospect. So here I am at the end of day three, still sane so far but only because I am a survivor of so many adverse circumstances. I can survive , having done it before I know I can do it again. But it has been a sacrifice. The extra disappointments were that we had lined up a visit with my daughter and granddaughter, a lunch out with Alice's favourite aunt, Aunty Pamela, and for Alice a visit to her cousins on her mother's side and have a sleepover. All of that well programmed week of activities disappeared. The State never makes moves that enhances the family, the community comes first. I understand that but on an individual basis it is a tragedy. This Covid crisis has put so much stress onto families. Happily I am retired so finances are stable but for workers whose industry have closed down for two weeks without pay it is a disaster. Last week I went to a High tea so had designed a similar event for Alice. I gave Trevor most of the goodies plus the tea set I was going to use for it. Trevor didn't really want to take the china set but I am happy to have him have it, Alice deserves to have something special to look forward to, and we all need that kind of special pampering. The High Tea that I went to was mostly about old fashioned place settings and elegantly served tiny portions of sweet food so I am sure Trevor can draw up a suitable menu. He is up to playing tea parties, Shirley as his older sister did that for him. Little brothers make good guests. As I write this I am counting my blessings. I have a home and a family, friends and colleagues, there are some things in my life that give it purpose. I have my health, I have just had my second vaccination so have a reasonable chance of not getting Covid. I live in an area where the winter climate is fairly mild, though colder than usual this winter. I know love in many forms but particularly in the friendships I am so lucky to have. I just have to keep well, make sure I am safe, keep busy and keep my mind busy. It is easy to fall into depression. I know that from my blue days when I lost hope when looking after Ray. Not going back there again. No life is hopeless, we all have ups and downs, highs and lows, good days and bad days. How we face up to the bad times is about our attitude. I know all of that but once again it is isolation and isolation means loneliness. I have my friend Peter chatting to me on Messenger every second night from his home in Armidale so the other night I can phone a friend or watch a favourite movie. I hope to go through the next two weeks without too much trouble and not too much complaining. Good luck to all who are going through the same situation wherever you are. We can do this!!!!

George I hope all your plans come to fruition. Here in Greater Sydney we have just gone into stay-at-home lockdown. My son and granddaughter Alice travelled for 13 hours to see me, they were coming for a week. They had been here ten hours when the shutdown warnings came. They had two hours to pack up and go back home if they did not wish to be quartered with me for two weeks. Very bad news for me as I love their visits. Iceland sounds cold but if it is where you want to go just go and enjoy it.

Just wondering what made you delete your blog entries? I have blogged over many years on here and sometimes sit down and reread a blog or two from a particular year to try to remember a certain period of time in my stroke caregiver journey. That way the blog is a record of that long journey Ray and I took together. As I grow older that way of jogging my memory becomes even more important. Keep on blogging so your life. Love the camping story.

I should think having a lot on your mind might mess with your balance, particularly lack of concentration. So sorry this happened to Carrah. I had a similar experience at about the same age. There are always predators in every generation. I hope with some counseling she regains her self confidence... Unfortunately we can't be there all the time to protect them much as we want to. Congratulations to your son.