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John, Like Fred said - possibly the friends who ran the other way were not true friends to begin with. I am 2 years post - I can count on one hand the TRUE pre-stroke friends who have really stuck by my side throughout this whole ordeal. My Great-Great-Grandfather always said that, at the end of your life, if you can count on one hand the true friends you had, then you've done well. Not that I'm planning on going anywhere soon, but it's nice to know there are the few who are with me over the years whenever, wherever, however. I must also say that the friends I have acquired from this site have more than made up for the ones who have "flew the coop" Take care.

John, First, don't feel guilty that you were not left with physical limitations. Rejoice that you were physically unscathed. Every stroke is different, deficits are different, recovery is also very different. There's no time-line for recovery...I have learned through this site that recovery is ongoing - no matter what the medical community says about their "imposed" time-lines. Have you spoken with your doctor to possibly receive anti-depressants? Depression is extremely common with survivors. My insurance company would not approve meds for me; therefore, I found things that interested me to occupy my time and turn me away from the constant "pity-party" and crying. Granted, I still have up and down days but the good days outnumber the bad ones. Do you have any hobbies?

Lisa, You've called Rachel your angel - which is true. But also, you and her Father and Sis are Angels too. Rachel definitely has youth on her side for recovery but even more important she has the love and support of her family. Rachel is blessed to have you as I am blessed to have my daughter :cloud9:. Hope you guys have a great time on your mini getaway and best of luck with neuro team.

ladibluej That poem was fantastc. You were able to put into words what even for those who can verbalize cannot convey. Thank you so much for sharing :hug:

Sue, It is officially YOUR BIRTHDAY in Australia...so......from Kristi and I.... HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :happybday: :happybday: :cheer: :cheer: :cheer: You're the Best - Hope you have a Great Day!!!!! :hug: :hug: from Arizona

Lisa, I'm so glad you decided to blog. Rachel has come so far in the past year. Your title asks why did it take so long to do this? There's no answer to that except the time was right for you. Blogging is very therapeutic; hopefully you find it so for you.

Sue, If Kristi and I could, we'd come and stay with Ray for your "special dinner". I too think you should go out and celebrate. Yes, there will be other birthdays but the only one for you this year. You are so loved here in our part of the world, you will have oodles of birthday greetings I am sure. From the U.S. end they may be belated though due to the time differences. :big_grin:

Kakii I sincerely hope you start feeling better. Hang in there - the light is on at the end of the tunnel and we're walking with you towards it.

Susan, ENJOY YOURSELF!!!!! - Remember your sunscreen :big_grin: Glad to hear your Mom is doing well too.

Dalene, Congrats to you for completing the school year and for the progress you've made. :Clap-Hands: :Clap-Hands: Contrary to some beliefs, there are god teenagers out there - glad to hear your students were so supportive.

:thumbs up: Glad you're doing better. Nothing to be ashamed of. Please feel free to pm me anytime if you need someone to talk to.

George, Glad you didn't get seriously hurt - please use caution in the future. Don't want you to experience a nasty fall.

Happy Anniversary to you both as you count your blessings.

Ok......I'll join you for a pity party. Ready.....one.....two....three......awwwwwww :violin: :hug: Times up! :big_grin: walowing there is not healthy for either of us you know. We want you around here for a loooonnnnnnnnnggggggggggg time to come so you need to take care of yourself. I'm sending :hug: :hug: and a guardian angel :Angel: to watch over you.

:Clap-Hands: :Clap-Hands: :Clap-Hands: Yeah Bud - keep up the good progress. It's quite obvious you are being well cared for :big_grin:

Wow - what dreams - you poor thing. I've had some strange dreams myself dealing with me no longer having deficits. When I wake up, reality sets in once again. Are you by chance eating or drinking something before going to bed that could be triggering these nightmares. Suggestion: keep a log of what you're consuming then see if it correlates to the nightmares. Wishing you pleasant dreams :cloud9:

Karen, On occasion, I think back to when I first stroked and lost the usage of my left hand and arm. I have become extremely creative in the ways I make use of my teeth to get things opened. Entering and exiting through doors is also tricky at times. I know most of that is based on fear of falling as I fell once going out the door. Didn't get hurt fortunately except for a bruised bottom. Hopefully with time, Rob's strength will return and there may be a return of the things he was doing around the house. Your positive outlook is very motivating.

Fred, That was quite deep and philosophical. Only HE knows the plan HE has established for each of us. Whatever his future plan for me, I'm quite glad he provided me another opportunity to be a part of this world. For that I'm grateful.

Betty Jean, First, Happy Happy Birthday to YOU! Please see the specialst - you will be in my thoughts and prayers. Obviously, none of us know when our number will be called. It is thought that some individuals "know". I think that if I were to know this was it....I'd do what my former Father-in-law did the day prior to his massive heart attack. He visited with all his family and friends. He also went to the park where he used to walk their Brittany Spaniel Coco (Coco had passed 2 years prior). The police found him in his car in an isolated part of the park. I would want to be in a peaceful place like that, having first spent some quality time with loved ones.

Loiuse :hug: to you. I can give you my right shoulder as that's my good side. There will be better days. When I was in rehab, I was 50 - I ws the youngest one there. As your hubby adjusts, hopefully some of the staff will interact with him to make the time easier. It is a plus he is there. What if insurance did not cover rehab and he was sent home. Are you able, at this time, to provide 24/7 care to him? Is someone qualified running the business at this time? And, can they continue to do so? It's normal to go through the Why us and the pity parties. However wallowing there is not beneficial or healthy to either one of you. Focus on the fact he survived a brain attack/stroke and that he alive each day to face the elderly patients. If he's always been on the go, perhaps his enthusiasm will light a few fires within them.

Fred that blog was very touching and moving. Thank you.

Sue, Thank you for sharing your golden moments. I was touched when you described Ray going for his wallet as in days gone by. That definitely was a golden moment - one to be cherished close to the heart.

Shirley, Yes, friend, by all means REJOICE and celebrate achieving your goal :cheer: :cheer: . The fears amd anxiety you are feeling, I think, are part of the recovery process - letting go of the security blanket/comfort zone so to speak. For obvious reasons, you have become comfortable with the quad cane. It's one thing in therapy to venture out iin new territory (but the therapist is there) but it's another to do so totally on your own at home. I experience the same thing with my hemi walker vs my quad cane. End result...my quad cane is a dust collector/part of the decor, so to speak. The quad is not as secure for me, yet, during daylight hours, I motor around my apartment with no walker at all - go figure. I use my hemi at night once I take off AFO or if I go outside w/o manual wheelchair. As to your "break" in therapy, yes a script must be supplied by the doctor - especially if insurance is covering the cost of therapy. Also, most insurance companies have a maximum of permitted sessions that are allowable. Keep working on your progress utilizing the exercises he gave you - bet you'll be surprised at how far you advance by August. Hope this made you feel a smidge better - you're not alone in the security/comfort zone issue. :hug:

Gary, We haven't" officially" met. I've been a member since 2005 but an active member since 2006. I've been on Staff since March of this year.