slowe

Hard to believe that just one short year ago, Rolly and I had blissfully gone to sleep, after trying out a new Mexican restaurant, and little did we know that we would be awakened in a few hours with what we would later find out was his stroke. Life goes on, and things are so much different than a year ago. We have given up much, but are thankful he is still here, and keep on trying every day!

Sue You keep me and Rolly hanging on. Hang in there. We all love you!

Rolly and I are again making a concerted effort every single day to avoid the confrontations and silly arguing that has arisen since his stroke. That, plus me working out 20 minutes a day on the elliptical trainer (like a nordic track, I think!) and cutting out junk food for the last two weeks and found me in a much better mood, feeling better about life in general, and 4 pounds lighter! It's a good thing!

Sue, Hang in there, honey. Whoever told us life was "fair" was lying! (~_~) We just have to keep on keeping on and know that there is a reason for all of this. I know on a "good day" you believe this. It's just the bad days that wear us down.

Happy Birthday Pam!

We had lunch at new restaurant yesterday. I liked it more than Rolly. Quaint little old house with one room being a small wine bar, and two rooms turned into dining rooms. Let's see, he didn't like the tap water, the french onion soup was too salty, they should have used bigger shrimp in the shrimp croissant, the kenneback fries were soggy. He did like the mixed spring green sald with champagne vinagerette though! We shared---he had most of the salad and half the croissant, I had most of the soup and the other croissant, and shared the fries. I didn't think it was awesome or anything, but it wasn't as bad as he seemed to think. Which leads me to the point of this blog. He seems to be much more negative since the stroke, and yesterday seemed to be a particularly bad day. He's been battling a stomach big this week, and that's what I chalked it up to--since the stroke it seems that everything "throws him for a loop" more quickly and easily than before. One day at a time, one baby step at a time!

Seems as soon as I posted the last entry, things got better around here. Rolly and I are getting along pretty well, and he seems to have made peace with things (at least for now!) Yesterday he surprised the girls with "homemade doughnuts" for breakfast......refrigerated biscuits that he cut holes in and deep fried! They had a ball frosting and decorating them. Somedays it really is the little things!

Seems like every day it's something. Rolly has been in good spirits the last week. His biggest issue is with the girls (granddaughtersw we live with). They are 6 and 10. The (seemingly) constant noise and confusion bothers him. I try to play the mediator. I understand his issues with "sensory overload" since the stroke. But I also know this is THEIR house we live in, and it seems like I'm always the one trying to smooth out ruffled feathers, explain what the other person meant. etc. And as I reminded him yesterday, this is the life we chose (after the stroke chose us! (~_~) and we need to find a way to make it work, at least for the next couple of years. It'll be 3 years until he gets social security, and realistically, we can't do anything about living arrangements until then! And life goes on............................

Tomorrow is Rolly's birthday. He will be 59. Happy Birthday my love.

Another morning of bickering. When does it stop? You tell me it's "all" my fault, that "I" am the one who causes all our problems. I think you forget how hard this is on me. How hard it is to lose part of you. How hard to be the one to take charge of every single aspect of our lives, to make all the hard decisions. To lose part of my best friend, my helpmate, my lover. I know it's hard on you. That's a given. But please remember we've BOTH had to deal with the future not being what we expected. You know I love you. Please remember that.

Cold and windy and rainy here in Northern California today. Good day for a fire, which we have roaring in the fireplace as I speak. Rolly is making chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes, and roasted asparagus and proscuitto for dinner. He's been really tired and out of it this week, fighting a head cold. Times like this it's really obvious what the stroke took out of him.

Rolly had a good trip. I think we appreciate each other more when we have a little break from each other! I am making plans to go to my niece's wedding in May, and then spend a few days in TX with our daughter and family. Thanks, Sue, for asking where we were! Just busy with "life" you know. But I should never be too busy to chat with friends!

Rolly has been gone for 10 days, coming home tomorrow. He's spent some time with our oldest son and family, and several days with his older brother in Oregon. His brother has had a couple of open heart procedures, a failed pig valve transplant and an artificial valve that seems to be doing the trick. His brother just turned 65, and suddently "old" and "health issues" seem not as far away as they did before Rolly's stroke. He tried to hook up with his twin brother as well, but as usual, his brother couldn't make the effort to drive 15 miles to see him. His loss! I think it was good for him to go. He was a bit apprehensive about being out of his "comfort zone" and being totally responsible fore his meds, but he seems to have done just fine! In fact, we've only talked a handful of times. Hopefully the "rest" was good for both of us.

Hey Sue Jean says SHE is "33" (~_~)

Wow, I thought it would be easy to come up with 100 things! So this is a "work in progress". 1. Take an Alaskan cruise 2. See the leaves change color in New England 3. Swim with a dolphin. 4. Go to an authentic New England Clambake 5. Skinny Dip 6. Eat in New Orleans French Quarter 7. Learn to Waltz 8. Make love in the Redwood forests of California 9. Picnic in Tuscany. 10. Sleep in a house on a cliff above the Pacific Ocean, with giant windows to enjoy the view 11. See a Broadway show in NYC 12. Send a message in a bottle. 13. Camp in Yosemite 14. Sit on a jury. 15. Write an article/short story, etc and have it published 16. See "Old Faithful" spout 17. Shower in a waterfall. 18. Volunteer and teach someone illiterate to read 19. Spend New Year's in an exotic location. 20. Get passionate about a cause and spend time helping it, instead of just thinking about it. 21. Sing karaoke and not worry that I can't carry a tune! 22. Drive across America from coast to coast. 23. Write my will. 24. Sleep under the stars on the beach 25. Spend a whole day in bed ----- reading! 26. Drive the Autobahn and not be scared 27. Spend Christmas in Hawaii 28. Take a cooking class 29. Raft through the Grand Canyon. 30. Donate money and put my name on something like a brick in a neighborhood park 31. Visit the Statue of Liberty 32. See Stonehenge 33. Be debt free 34. Go to the top of the Space Needle 35. Go to the top of the Empire State Building 36. Ride in a horse-drawn carriage 37. Hike at least part of the Appalachian Trail 38. See a tornado. 39. See tigers in the wild. 40. Fly first class 41. Backpack in Europe 42. Set foot in all 50 states 43. Tour the White House 44. Get a tattoo 45. Tour the USS Arizona memorial at Pearl Harbor 46. Take a ride in a sailboat 47. Ride a gondola in Venice (second best, in Las Vegas) 48. View the real Mona Lisa at the Louvre in Paris 49. See the Aurora Borealis (Northern Lights) 50. Take a ride on a steamboat 51. Attend a mystery dinner party

Sue Very poetic, and very inspirational. Fantastic read!

Amy, My little sister swore she was adopted, as she was thin and blonde, and the rest of us weren't! (~_~_ Good job! BTW, that sister now lives in Arkansas! (~_~)

Here's another "I am From"...........this one a Christmas themed one. I redid the format and posted it below the essay. I am from aluminum christmas trees and colorwheels, from paper garlands and angels on the top. I am from artificial Christmas trees, from plastic wreaths and pine scent in a can. I am from the silk Pointsetta plant and plastic mistletoe hanging in the doorway. I am from new pajamas on Christmas Eve, opening one present on Christmas Eve, and milk and cookies left out for Santa. From writing thank you notes before you could use your gifts. From champagne bubble bath and bath oil beads. From Dad's gifts, always big red handkerchiefs and white painter hats and socks we'd later make monkeys out of. From waking up early on Christmas morning and opening your stocking, and then going back to bed. From "You'd better go to sleep, or Santa won't come" and "you HAVE to believe in Santa or he won't bring you presents." I am from Christmas Cantatas, Greg Thompsen singing "O Holy Night" and "Away in a Manager." From Christmas caroling, from hayrides and hot chocolate. From Christmas programs (when they were still called CHRISTMAS programs) at the fireman's hall, from chorus after chorus of Jingle Bells, from Santa arriving on a firetruck, from bags of hard candy, an apple and an orange. I'm from Nutty Nuggets and Butter Crunch Toffee and Confetti Bread, from sugar cookies and Agnes' chocolate dipped creams. From leftover Ice Cream Snowballs with candles and turkey dinner on Christmas. From popcorn balls and too many cookies. From the time Dad "rewrapped" Uncle Eddie's present to Judy, covering the impecibly wrapped gift with brown paper bags, and baling rope. From bicycles with streamers, from roller skates with black and pink pompoms. I am from boxes of Christmas decorations, carefully packed away in boxes in the attic, from ornaments carefully saved year after year, from green and red paper cut into into strips and Elmer's Glue to stick them together. From a Baby who came to save us and give us life eternal. FORMAT I am from _______ (type of Christmas tree) from _______ (type of tree ornament) and _______(another type of tree ornament). I am from the _______ (home description... adjective, adjective, sensory detail). I am from the _______ (plant, flower, natural item), the _______ (plant, flower, natural detail) I am from _______ (family tradition) and _______ (family tradition), from _______ (more family traditions). From _______ (something you were told as a child) and _______ (another). I am from (representation of religion, or lack of it). Further description. I'm from _______ (food items representing your family). From the _______ (specific family story about a specific gift, holiday event, etc.) and ____________________(another) and _________________(another). I am from _______ (location of family pictures, mementos, archives and several more lines indicating their worth).

DIRECTIONS TAKEN FROM A WEBSITE ON WRITING ASSIGNMENTS Where Are You From? This is a repost from November, 2003. I still get visitors or trackbacks from this one. It is a fun exercise in learning about the small things that give us our identities with the place or places we are from. George Ella Lyons is an Appalachian author and poet with a long list of children's books to her credit. Her poem, Where I'm From, begins in this way: I am from clothespins, from Clorox and carbon-tetrachloride. I am from the dirt under the black porch. (Black, glistening it tasted like beets.) Each of us is from a place that is more than a dot on the map. Every experience that we can recall has left its mark on who we are. Nobody is from Clorox, but can't you smell the laundry room at the poet's house as a little girl? I'd like to make a suggestion-- not just to the 'writers' who read this, but to everyone. Actually, putting on my teacher hat: this is your assignment -- Read Where I From, all of the poem is here. Then, write your own version-- where you're from. Here's the format, the remainder of the form is in the "continue reading" section if you want to try this worthwhile exercise. Cut and paste it into a word processor to work on later. (This is a borrowed idea, not mine, but worthwhile, I think, and meant to be passed along.) You might be surprised what you find as you rummage around in those dusty old trunks--your personality, your family history and traits, and the places you've called home--as you complete the poem with your own memories and facts. I think it would be a joy to read this personalized poem from a group of bloggers who "sort of" know each other. This could extend the depth of bond between strangers. The same thing applies within a family. Consider you and your spouse each filling in your own blanks, from your own unique perspective. If you don't want to post it or send a link to it to Fragments, maybe this would make a cherished gift to give your children. I'm willing to bet they will learn something about 'where you're from' that they did not know. I will repost "Where I'm From" (the Fred version) on Friday. Maybe as the week rolls along, you'll post links to your version that you put up on your websites. It will be interesting to see the small, peculiar things we each select to define where we are from. This may be a silly idea, but that hasn't stopped me before, why raise my standards now!? You can read some of the comments and completed poems from November, 2003, here--to get you started. For the WHERE I'M FROM Format: Click the READ MORE link below: I am from _______ (specific ordinary item), from _______ (product name) and _______. I am from the _______ (home description... adjective, adjective, sensory detail). I am from the _______ (plant, flower, natural item), the _______ (plant, flower, natural detail) I am from _______ (family tradition) and _______ (family trait), from _______ (name of family member) and _______ (another family name) and _______ (family name). I am from the _______ (description of family tendency) and _______ (another one). From _______ (something you were told as a child) and _______ (another). I am from (representation of religion, or lack of it). Further description. I'm from _______ (place of birth and family ancestry), _______ (two food items representing your family). From the _______ (specific family story about a specific person and detail), the _______ (another detail, and the _______ (another detail about another family member). I am from _______ (location of family pictures, mementos, archives and several more lines indicating their worth). So. Where are YOU from? A few of you have pondered where you're from using the structure, more or less, of the poem we've used for this activity (read several from links in the comments to the earlier post.) A few more have said they'd send links to theirs today or soon. And as usual, when I read them, I see bits of common experience, but I also see phrases I have not a clue as to their meaning or significance for the writer. This ambiguity gives their memories a certain mystery. I want to know more. Explain: there's got to be a story here. If I were going further with this vehicle of self-exploration and writing, I'd say ", choose one phrase or line from your completed poem and tell us what that is all about and why it is significant to you." You know, you could tell quite a larger story about most every blank you filled in as part of this exercise. Oven-baked Saran Wrap? What's that all about? (See below.) In fact, it might be an interesting project to see if you could weave all these related phrases of your history into a thousand-word memoir framed around these passages about yourself that have come together in the Where I'm From poem. Think about it. Write it. Post it. My version of WIF (along with a short explanation about the Saran Wrap) follows in the READ MORE section that will appear when you click it. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I am from the peaceful banks of a creek with no name; from JFG, toast and blackberry jam and home-made granola. I am from "a house with double porches," a room filled with good ghosts and creek laughter in the mornings before first light. I am from Liriodendron and Lindera, butterfly bush and mountain boomers I am from Dillons and Harrisons, Betty Jean and Granny Bea-- frugal and long-lived, stubborn and tender, quick to laugh. Or cry. I am from a world whose geography my children know better than I, from a quiet valley where I am the proprietor and world authority of its small wonders. From barn loft secret passwords and children who can fly if they only try. I am from oven-baked Saran Wrap and colds caught from jackets worn indoors. I am from pire in the blood Baptists, from the cathedral made without hands, the church in the wildwoods, the covenant of grace. I'm from the Heart of Dixie, son of Scarlett O'hara. From War Eagle, Wiffle, UAB and PT, from Walnut Knob's blue ridge and the soft shadows of Goose Creek. From a "fast hideous" dresser and a home body from Woodlawn, from a grandfather I never knew that I can blame for my love of nature and my stubbornness, they tell me. I am from fragments, the faint smell of wood smoke, and familiar walks among trees I know by name, from HeresHome and good stock. A man can hardly ask to be from more. --Fred First, November 2003 I am from oven-baked Saran Wrap... When Ann and I were twenty-two and newly married, my grandmother, Bea, often gave us leftovers from meals she had prepared. They would go home with us in a pyrex dish or Corningwear bowl covered with plasticwrap. Knowing how new-to-the-world we were (but never quite as naive as she must have thought), Bea would always remind Ann as we left to be sure and take the Saran Wrap off the dish before she put in the oven. Two decades later when we had the last meal Bea prepared for us before rheumatoid arthritis robbed her of her independence, she gave us leftovers to take home. "And remember to take the Saran Wrap off before you cook it" she reminded us. Yes, Bea, we'll always remember. Posted by fred1st at 05:24 AM

From a writing assignment. JRiva should do this for sure! Anyone who wants the format should PM me and I'll send it on to you! I am from powdered milk poured back into empty milk containers, from Tide and Joy and root beer floats on New Year

Well, my son has Bronchitis, and his wife and younger daughter both have pneuominia (excuse my spelling!). Things have been hectic around here for sure!

Sue W said: It was wonderful to go to bed knowing that so many of the people I love were under the one roof. Isn't that just the best thing! I had that happen in July, all three kids and all six grandkids were under one roof. It was so many things all at the same time----fun, crazy, joyful, overwhelming, cluttered, satisfying! Here's to family!

Sorry to hear about your wife's father. May he rest in peace. I echo your sentiments for the new year. Bring it on, world, we'll give it our best shot!

Wow, this is like God telling me "Look here, Susan, here's what you need to read." I read the thread Jean had resurrected on the board yesterday, and forwarded it on to Rolly. Now here you are throwing it up in my face again! Thank you Lord! I needed that!

Count me in as another fan of this essay. I first "found" it several years ago when a dear friend's father died. I sent it to him, only to find it had long been a favorite of his, as well! Success. I think you hit the nail on the head, Pam. It's not how much money you have in the bank, or what kind of car you drive, or ohow big your house is. It's what's inside you.