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Sharon,

I'm sorry you are so sad and that you have lost hope for any change. Keep in mind that as you stated in the beginning you were completely sure you would bring him home. I don't want to offer you false hope, I'd have nothing to base it upon, so your acceptance of the current situation is best to help you cope for now. Just enjoy the time you spend with Mickey, enjoy the Yankees, your arm rubs, and keep in mind you do never know when it comes to what you think you're sure of.

Love ya,

Rea :friends:

Janine,

When I first came home I was much further along than Larry but I was still incapable of walking and doing most things by myself. My mother came to stay to help out and I would become very angry with her because she would not even let me do little things I was capable of. She would take offense to my being irritated with herand my husband tried to explain to her that she needed to back off a bit. She of course thought he was just cold and mean. He tried to encourage me to be work toward being a bit more independent and saw that I resented not being capable of doing things on my own. As time went on it almost seemed that she would never see me as anything more than what I was like when I came home and would always expect me to be that way and treat me as such. He finally said he thought we needed to ask her to go home or I'd be in my wheelchair for the rest of my life. Sticky as it was, I delicately did. She called him a few choice names between her and me. She went home to New York retired from her job sold her house,and bought a house a few miles from me. When she returned a year later I was walking completely unassisted, and showered and dressed myself without help. Now she still comes over every day and insists that I need help. It still irritates me, she doesn't at all, but the fact that she will not allow me to trust my own judgement in that I am not stupid I know when I need help and will ask I will not put myself in harms way. I feel like a child all over again who is trying to grow up and gain independence. The anger is not directed at you. The reality of the whole thing is a tough pill to swallow. I'm with Donna..listen to Jean she is a very, very wise woman.

Janine,

I must echo Vi's words you've come so far in such a short time and if you had been told then you would be doing this now you would never have imagined you could. As you have learned you are a much stronger woman than you gave yourself credit for. All will be fine, it will be tough but you can handle it and we are here for you!!

Enjoy having Larry home in any way you can.

Maria :friends:

Sue,

You're a brave and couageous woman to offer to be PMed for prayers around here, but your proven record speaks for itself and we already knew that. Glad you and Ray enjoyed your well deserved holiday with your family, milk that holiday mode for as long as you can.

It sounds like quite a magical night. I cried as I read it. I can only imagine how you felt seeing her do things you thought she never could.

I'm sure they'll be many more tears of joy for her many future accomplishments!

Maria :friends:

Happy Birthday katrina!! Great presents and the best of all is that you weren't sad. It shows in that beautiful smile on that beautiful face. Enjoy the beach.

Kimmie,

I think we should ship you east so we can all go shopping and complain about the cold. i can't reach the really high things I tip, but I can throw things at them and hope they tumble down. We'll improvise, be rebels and reek hovok. Sorry Matt is going through this. He'll be far better off in the long run of course we know, but that doesn't make the hurt less now.

Gee I wonder how you knew the baby would be a boy LOL

Janine,

One way to spend more time with him is not in the next bed. Slow down and just do the best you can at a normal human rate. You won't be much good to him financial or otherwise as his roommate. You don't need to cram more in, you can only do what you can do.

Be well,

Maria :friends:

Janice,

You were never selfish just very frightened and unaware of the inner strength which you possessed. You're not "growing up", but rather channeling that strength into the self confidence you need to make decisions without falling apart at every turn.

I've always tried to look at life's challenges as opportunitities from which to build strength...maybe the stroke thing I could have done without. "What does not destroy me makes me stronger". There's nothing wrong with being vulnerable and needing help; it's very different than being helpless, which you most certainly are not.

It's okay to complain. It's just being human. I swore if I could ever walk again I'd never complain about trivial nonsense. Three years later I walk fine and complain about nonsense all the time. I just try to keep in mind how fortunate I am to be here to have the opportunity to do so.

Keep up the good work lady you're doing a great job!

Maria :friends:

Janine,

Larry seems to be progressing quite nicely and it is wonderful that they will continue to work with him there and then move him to an acute rehab, In acute rehab they will work him very hard and expect much more rapid results which is what they need to evaluate he's ready for. At that point though you will be astonished at what he will be able to do.

I agree with Jean. As I was reading about your not understanding what he meant by you won't go?. My first thought was not right then, but you're not going to leave me? I'm sure just as you've cried because you longed for having him and things back the way they were. He's an intelligent man and he knows that you felt that way and fears that you'd bail. As Jean said it's fairly common, many do. Lately your blogs have been more upbeat. It seems you have been more focused on him when you visit which may give Larry a sense that you're not overwhelmed and complaining but rather are supportive and sticking by his side. Interesting that question came a few days after you stopped talking about changes to the house etc. He may have thought you were setting him up to be able to live on his own and that's why he got so freaked out about it. Don't try to explain and potentially give him any more food for thought, just be there. That'll do it he's not stupid he'll get it.

Maria :friends:

Sherry,

Glad to see you made it through your week at rehab and are safely back to your keyboard we missed you.

As you can see by the weight loss forum, that also seems to be a common issue with stroke. I have always been a size 8 also and always been petite. Thanks to the wonderful side effects of some of the anti convulsants I've been on and living life at a snail's pace, I've slowly worked my way to a size 14 over the past 3 years. I've never been into junk or fast food. I still eat the same so the fact that I can't get it off really perplexes me. I expressed my concern to my doctor because I said at this size I'm a sure candidate for a heart attack. His level of concern was about the same as when I was whining about my hair. The only way I see to get my wrists and neck to match my butt again is to run and move fast enough to increase my metobolic rate.

It's great to hear you're going to try volunteering. It will be great for you to get out and your strengthwill be inspiring to others....the feedback you'll get will help you see how far you've come.

Love,

Maria :friends:

Janine,

Happy to hear you and Larry had such a good day. Keep up the great work!

:cheer: :cheer:

Sherry,

I still second guess myself and do things like go back and check to see that I've locked the door like 3 times ~ you'll thank me for putting that in your head I'm sure. Who knows? You may be a trendsetter and it will be all the rage. If sales start cropping up on intimate apparel and the new outerwear, you'll know it's time to hit the catwalk. Don't worry honey you're doing fine. It's just more of par for the course.

Good luck in rehab this week. I'm sure you'll get as much out of it as you did last time. We'll be here waiting for you when you get back looking forward to hearing how well you've done.

Love,

Maria :friends:

Beth,

Sorry to hear you've had another stroke. I'm glad to hear you're doing fairly well though. It must have been horribly scary especially because you thought you'd go back to square one. Fortunately you seem to be recovering pretty well. I began cooking again using a crockpot so I wouldn't become overwhelmed trying to do too many things at once. I could do it in the morning when everyone was at school or work and I could work at my own pace without being hovered over. If it's something that needs to go over noodles I can't dump boiling water so he'll do that right before dinner when he gets home. it's sort of a I can do what I can I know my limitations, I'll ask for help if it's not safe for me. Sometimes I ask for help when I may not really need it too much just to reassure him that I will ask rather than take a chance. Give it some time all will work out

Be well

Maria :friends:

Anne,

Very nice!!! You can run but you can't hide dearie Lot and block front and center was a big mistake...so when do we close and move in??? Feel free to decorate my room as you like I'm not picky. This might be a good time to begin to pray for patience.

I don't know about the Bissel, but stay away from the Hoover. I had one it was absolutely worthless.

End of June....I'd better get packing

Love you,

Me

Doug,

You sound a great deal less angry the past few months. I think that speaks for that you have already made the choice. Try not to throw yourself back into a place where no one loses but you. You've really come so far and seem to have some peace of mind now. As you've seen and been told by us many times some people just will never get it and are not worth it...so why bother? Most of us have experienced this with friends, but I'm sure it has to be tremendously more devastating and incomprehensible when it is family.

Try to stay focused on Teddy and those you have around you now who care about you and are positive and supportive. You know you also always have us because we care about you and will always be your friends.

Maria :friends:

Janine,

All information is on a need to know basis... and there some things Larry just does not need to know. One thing that Jean said that really struck me was how hearing about these changes may make him feel his chances for further progress are poor. I recall my husband being told to order items for me such as a one handed cutting board, etc. and questioning why I had to continue therapy. It seemed rather obvious to me that if he was being told to invest money in these things for my home use that my arm damage was permanent and therapy useless. Apples and oranges I know, but I would think and I obviously have no experience as a caregiver. Doing what needs to be done without his knowledge is not a violation of any trust ~ you are doing it in his best interest, not for some selfish purpose. When he gets home the bathroom hopefully should be a welcome accommodation to where he is in his recovery instead of a predetermined glimpse into his prognosis. It may also offer him the comfort of knowing that he did not lose his role as man of the house, but in his absence you had the inner strength and capability to hold down the fort without emasculating him. As much as they hate to admit it, they actually admire that

Katrina,

Your internship is very rewarding and surely does make a difference which is a very importance service.

As you said maybe your driving has been delayed for a reason. Just this short delay may have spared you some unfortunate fate, God works in mysterious ways. Leave it in His hands sweetheart. He'll put you on the road and be in the passenger seat.

Kathy,

Your cakes could not have turned out better they are perfect!!!! Sorry about your bank card and Sasha. With the lymes caught early Sasha will be fine. Be sure to check yourself often also those suckers(literally) run rampantt up here as I'm sure you know being a native. The last thing you need is lymes. Try to enjoy your excursion. Be safe and remember you're not Thelma and Louise.

Maria

:friends:

Stu,

It seems you did learn the most valuable lesson. You can't let the stroke dictate your life!

One week food shopping will wipe me out, the next I'm fine.

You may have just been a bit run down, might have come in contact with a little germ you were fighting off, too much fresh air and pollen. Too many variables to live your life not doing things fearing what if?

See you have learned... go on a cruise, go shopping, enjoy being alive then take a nap after you take pictures to share and have a blast!

Maria :friends:

Sherry,

I'm happy to hear you're continuing to find that things will be fine and you now are finding some peace of mind in things that you don't necessarily want to hear, but at least put your worst fears to rest.

You sound so much better already!!!! Keep up the great work and be proud of yourself ~ you are the one who put all these wheels in motion.

Be well and hang in.

Luv ya,

Maria :friends:

Kathy,

I'm glad you're enjoying the serenity of your garden

It's good that Barry is receptive to the meds...you really need to share how you pulled that one off. :Tantrum:

Maria :friends:

Sherry,

I

Kimmie,

As I've told you I so feel for you. I don't have any great words of wisdom-not that I ever do. In time he'll be better off it just kills you to see him go through it now. Maybe a little something to keep you calm would be good so you can be healthy for your new grandchild...congrats.

Maria :friends: