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Janine,

As you can see Jean is a very intelligent and caring woman who is well versed and experienced with aphasia. Her firsthand knowledge and story of how far her husband has come will surely be an inspiration to you as it is to us all.

Don't beat yourself up for standing up for your husband or yourself and don't let it deter you from doing it again if need be.

This is fine for a blog....you just sounded like you needed some help too. We wanted to be sure you got all the feedback and help you can get

Janine,

This is way out of my realm. I'm a survivor not a caregiver so I don't have a clue. I think you'd get a great deal more feedback on this from other caregivers who may have suggestions from similar experience if you pose it to the board where it will get more exposure.

Maria :friends:

Kathy,

Coloring, talking stuffed animals, lots of hugs, hungry tweetys and your family was obviously just what you needed to "snap out of it"

You always sound so happy since you've moved with nice anecdotes to report and things to look forward to ~ best move you ever made!!

Love you,

Maria :friends:

Katrina,

The very best thing you will give to the children with disabilities with whom you will work is that they can accomplish great things. A better role model and truer inspiration they could not have WHAT A GIFT! The awards you earned through your hard work despite your challenges make them that much more admirable and awesome. :Clap-Hands:

We are all sooo very proud of you. You are truly an inspiration to all of us

Maria :friends:

Sorry dear we're not tired of you not even close, you can't get rid of us that easily we're a tough bunch

It is good to hear that you are starting to look up and forward for both your sakes. There is life after a stroke and yes it will be different, but it is what you make of it. I would complain to my husband that everything had changed and we couldn't do things we always did. We liked to go antiquing which was a bit tough before I could walk again. We do everything we did before maybe a bit more slowly or taking into consideration that I tire more easily but we still do it... just a little differently.

Hang in hun

Maria :friends:

Janine,

If there's any truth to that stepping in dog poop is good luck, then you hit the lottery. I'm sure that's just what you were thinking at the time.

Try not to beat yourself for crying and getting down. You're not being a baby, just human. What you're going through is very stressful and emotionally draining. It would take its toll on anyone especially now while in the thick of it.

Keep chugging along things will get better!

Maria :friends:

Janine,

Being Scarlet is good

Amy,

Step in to a school and the germfest magnetically attaches to you. i recall as with most new teachers my first few years being sick half of September and October. After a while you build an immunity and never get sick anymore.

Have fun and stay well

Maria

Janine,

I cried as I read your blog. As a survivor i can easily relate to other survivors, but don't always have a clear understanding of what it is like for you guys. I was in such a disjointed state at the time, I don't think I was cognizant enough to even give thought to what state my husband might have been in. Thank you for giving me some much needed perspective.

It does get much better and we are here for you 24/7.

Maria :friends:

Doug,

I would tend to think that her goal in suggesting the intervention is not to restore the trust. I'm sure she realizes it's a bit beyond that and knows she has no control over his behavior and an intervention is not going to suddenly wake him up. It seems more likely that it is in hopes that it will alleviate some tension and enable you to move away from it without it eating at you. She's not trying to get the two of you back together, she's trying to get you to let go.

In between clippings if you walk or let Teddy run on cement a bit it will keep his nails filed down a bit so they don't get too long.

Good luck

Maria :friends:

Sherry,

Glad to hear you're going to rehab. Try not to be anxious and worried...this is a really, really good thing. It will help you so much! As Anne mentioned you will also learn a great deal of coping strategies so that you won't get panic attacks. If you can hold off a few days take your paperwork with you and they will help you with it rather than overwhelm yourself. You don't need to go into detail stroke is more than sufficient.

Good luck honey, we'll be here waiting for you when you get back!

Luv and hugs,

Maria :friends:

Miss Bonnie,

Welcome home :bouncing_off_wall:

happy to hear mom is doing so well and you and all other made it through your trip well too. Your absence here was felt and you were greatly missed. We muddled through and held down the fort without you, but it just wasn't the same without our ray of sunshine. If we could we'd all jump up on your lap and lick your face like your furry friends ~ just thought you'd enjoy that mental image.

love you,

Maria :friends:

Kathy,

My mother was also very much enjoying her feeder when she first moved here from NY 2 years ago until the fallout attracted every critter in her development and they ate her expensive newly planted flowers. In addition to her morning coffee and bird watching she called to moan about this daily so out it came. They are beautiful and very relaxing enjoy them and your refound climate. Good luck with your cake. I'm sure it will turn out fine. As long as it's red and as sweet as you, he'll be just as tickled as Elmo. Enjoy!

Maria :friends:

Sue and Louise,

She is a very nice woman and her intent was to not to put me on a guilt trip. I think she was actually trying to make me feel better by trying to have me see that I may be too hard on myself t times by defining myself by my stroke so she defined it for me in what could be more devastating terms like her husband's. The guilt was well deserved because it was refective of my own vanity and lack of appreciation for how blessed I am.

Jean,

I have to admit. You had me going there for a bit with your title ~ lol the wonders of brain damage.

You blew Seinfeld's theory out of the water. The baby is absolutely adorable

Maria

bill,

Don't waste your time trying to analyze who should bear the brunt of the blame, it really doesn't matter. In 10 years you'll look back see it all differently and it still won't matter. It's not worth the energy, it won't change anything. There really is nothing to win except the chance to have the final nanadodo I was right all along. Who cares? You're going to part ways in the end anyway. It's not worth the stress. People spend a fortune and have strokes for that final haha. It never made sense to me. If they're willing to sacrifice that much for the other person, they must mean an awful lot to them ~ just stay married to them.

You're so right. Keep it out of court, keep the kids out it, give her what she wants (within reason), be the bad guy, and get it over with with your health and sanity.

Good luck,

Maria :friends:

Sherry,

I'm so glad and relieved that you have Ann yo help you with your angst and the emotion impact of this.

It's great that she put you in touch with the resources you need to enable you to further your recovery and get much needed financial assistance. See there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it's not the oncoming train.

You sound soooo much better already. You're looking ahead and sounding positive...something you hadn't done before. Keep up the good work!(((((((hugs))))))

Maria :friends:

Pumpkin,

On the upside....sure beats still being in Florida and not getting to hang with your grandson until he had his car keys and drove down for spring break with a host of different animals. The rain isn't helping the whole pain thing. Once the weather breaks a bit, hopefully it will ease up a bit.

Maria :friends:

Honey,

I know I keep telling you this and I'm sure they sound like empty words right now, but you are going to be fine. The crying is normal and all part of the nightmare, but it goes away in time and your smile comes back. It takes a while but it really does happen, this is the hardest part.

Starting a blog was great. Keep at it, it helps to work through your feelings.

Maria :friends:

Elondie,

I'm crying on my keyboard.

Don't for a second underestimate Tootie and think she is not aware of every event you attend and moment you are there for her. She feels your love in everything you do and say just as we do here. She's always loved you just hadn't yet found a way to verbalize it.

I can only imagine how incredibly wonderful it felt to actually hear her say it and am so happy for you to have delighted in that long awaited precious moment.

Maria :friends:

xoxo

Honey,

Sorry you're having to deal with this. You're sort of doing this in reverse. Most of us wake up and have to deal with the facing we lost our job/career and must deal with that loss. You were away from it when it happened and now have stepped back in to your old world so you're in a sense back at go. Not really, but only in that you never had to deal with that aspect of it and now you do. It's no picnic, but it goes away. Give yourself a chance to start anew rather than recreate.

Love,

Maria

Katrina,

Your poem is beautiful, but honey please don't feel that way. Of course I know what it's like to have a stroke and what it was like to be 18. It breaks my heart to think you have to deal with this at that age, but don't offer to give it any more than it has already taken.The pressure and stress of having a lot going on with school certainly doesn't help. You can wait around being miserable until something changes or you can make the best of the moment. Your dad is afraid something will happen to you, parents are like that. I'm 46 years old and when I had my aneurysm, my mother sold her house in New York and bought one right near my house so she could make sure I didn't do things that she didn't think I should be doing. She hides my car keys. Most of her statements to me are still you can't do that...to which I bark back WHY NOT? As I've gotten better and more back to my former self, I sometimes make a run for it only to look in my rear view mirror and see her tailing me. I'm sorry in good conscience I can't tell you to defy your father despite his over protectiveness, although I did it for years ~ so I guess I'm a hypocrite but he just loves you, would rather see you miss out a bit than lose you to something worse, and would gladly trade places with you in a second if he could. You're not going to change him, trust me I've been trying for years, you'll only frustrate yourself trying. Please please don't give up hope for the future or for being happy ~ it may not be in exactly what you think you want, but something you hadn't anticipated.

Maria :friends:

Deenie,

Apologies for overdue condolences. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Maria

Elondie,

Challenger ball is great! My friend's son is autistic, has been playing for years, and has really gotten a lot out of it. Enjoy every minute of how adorable teeball is. I'd love how no one would notice the ball in play because they would all be too busy sitting on the floor playing with the dirt or a kid would hit the ball and run to third instead of first, or when one has to go to the bathroom and then the whole field realizes they have to go. I know you have that video camera fired up...been there. She'll have a great time and so will you.

Maria :friends: