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Lorri, It's not like PTSD, it sure sounds like that's exactly what it is. Joey certainly suffered the physical impact of the trauma, but not all traumatic events are physical. There of course is no paralleling the two. While you did not suffer the life threatening effects and do not have obvious lasting issues as a result. The psychological and emotional impact the accident has had upon you does not make it any less real, just a bit less tangible. The nightmares and flashbacks are not as obvious, but have lasting issues as a result as well. You won't take anything away from him by admitting you got hurt in this accident too just in a different way. You wouldn't be selfish if you got a little therapy for this, in the long run you'd be helping him.

Ken, Congrats on your progress :Clap-Hands: . Keep living the dream and moving forward! Merry Christmas and a Happy and Healthy New Year to you :ChristmasTree: Maria :friends:

I'll repeat Joey was lucky when he was born with you as his mother. You did an extraordinary job of caring for him and managing his medical needs. "Normal" mothers are just people and people make mistakes. Some are just brave enough to admit them and get help.I'm sure through the strength you've shown in your recovery and resilience especially through this, Joey is proud that you are his mother. Maria :friends:

Kathy, Before I go on let me just say I love you and SNAP OUT OF ITof course you know you're just as warped as me so you really needed that. There's nothing wrong with feeling like hey, I didn't sign up for this! You dust off and move on with a smile, but this is a tough one ~it leaves residual soot. So my little fellow Polly Anna don't beat yourself up because you feel like the stroke has stolen your spirit. it hasn't girlfriend, we're tough birds. We'll be fine Maria :friends:

SHORTLY AFTER I MOVED TO WHERE I LIVE NOW A FRIEND SUGGESTED I USE HER FEMALE GYNECOLOGIST RATHER THAN TRAVEL 25 MILES BACK TO THE SHORE FOR MY ANNUAL VISIT. I WAS SOMEWHAT RELUCTANT BUT FIGURED WHAT THE HECK. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE EXAM SHE NONCHALANTLY ASKED "DOES CANCER RUN IN YOUR FAMILY?" I PASSED OUT COLD ON THE TABLE. WHEN I CAME TO SHE ASKED WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM? WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT? I RESPONDED SEE THAT DEGREE ON THE WALL LADY... YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY NOT TOO BRIGHT. SO I'LL GIVE YOU A FEW SECONDS TO PROCESS THIS. THINK... YOU'RE EXAMINING ME AND WHAT DID YOU ASK ME? DID YOU HONESTLY THINK THAT MIGHT NOT HAVE SOME ALARMING IMPACT ON ME? A WEEK LATER I WENT BACK TO MY REGULAR DOC. I NEEDED A D&C (DUSTING &CLEANING :silly: ) HER OFFICE IS CLOSE TO MY HOUSE AND I NOTICED A FEW WEEKS AGO IT'S NOT THERE ANY MORE. GOOD GIRL PHYL BE PICKY THEY'RE NOT ALL THE SAME

Whether or not insurance covers is moot. According to their site they don't accept or process any type of insurance, but if it really works it's worth it. Thanks Phyllis

You're right the shore is beautiful. I'm much further north than Wildwood and considering a townhouse goes for at least a million, I'll deal with my 25 minute ride to the beach. Congrats on making associate member.

Kimmie, Sound like you have much to be proud of and have earned the right to brag

I know it may still be early on, but have the arrangements been made yet? Please keep us informed or would you prefer for donations to be made to the Florida DOA in its name in lieu of flowers. Maria

THE OTHER NIGHT IN CHAT I MENTIONED THAT I HAD A FUNNY STORY ABOUT MY DOG AND A CALL TO POISON CONTROL, BUT IT WAS FAR TOO LONG TO SHARE IN CHAT SO I'LL SHARE IT HERE. THIS WAS ONE OF MY CLASSIC "LUCY" MOMENTS. I HAD JUST GOTTEN MARRIED AND WE BOUGHT AND MOVED IN TO OUR FIRST HOUSE. I SAW SOME ANTS IN THE BATHROOM SO NOT HAVING ANY CHILDREN, I THOUGHT IT WAS FINE TO BUY AND PLACE ANT TRAPS THERE. AS I WAS ABOUT TO GET IN THE SHOWER TO GO TO WORK ONE MORNING, I NOTICED THE TRAP WAS FLIPPED OVER AND THE DOG HAD A TINY DROP OF WHITE FROM THE TRAP ON HER NOSE. THERE WAS NOTHING ON THE BOX TO INDICATE WHETHER OR NOT IT WAS HARMFUL TO HER. I THOUGHT IT BEST I CALL POISON CONTROL TO CHECK RATHER THAN COME HOME FROM WORK AND FIND THE DOG DEAD. I'LL WRITE THE REST AS DIALOGUE TO MAKE IT A BIT EASIER TO FOLLOW. KEEP IN MIND THE OPERATOR THINKS I'M TALKING ABOUT A CHILD. ME: HELLO, MY DOG MAY HAVE JUST EATEN A SMALL BIT OF ANT POISON OP: WHAT HAVE YOU DONESOFAR? ME: JUST GAVE HER SOME MILK IN A BOWL. SHE LAPPED IT UP. SHE SEEMS OKAY. OP: HOW OLD IS SHE? ME: I'M NOT EXACTLY SURE. I THINK A LITTLE OVER A YEAR. OP: WHEN IS HER BIRTHDAY? ME: MMM SOMETIME IN FEBRUARY I THINK OP: HOW MUCH DOES SHE WEIGHT? ME: ABOUT 45 POUNDS BY NOW SHE HAS TO HAVE FAMILY SERVICES ON THE OTHER LINE! OP:WHAT IS SHE DOING NOW? ME: SHE JUST LAYING ON THE KITCHEN FLOOR BY MY FEET. WAIT I'LL NUDGE HER WITH MY FOOT. SHE JUMPED UP . SHE SEEMS FINE. OP: WHAT'S HER NAME? ME: BEN OP: EXCUSE ME? ME: BEN OP: CAN YOU SPELL THAT? ME: B E N J I OP: YOUR DAUGHTER'S NAME IS BENJI??? ME: NOT DAUGHTER....DOG!!! OP: OMG I THOUGHT YOU SAID DAUGHTER YOUR DOG WILL BE FINE BEN MANAGED TO OUTLIVE MY FIRST MARRIAGE AND LIVE TO THE RIPE OLD AGE OF 17.

Shirley, It's not silly at all, i remember feeling the same way. My quad cane gave me balance and stability. I didn't like a single post cane because it felt wobbly and i couldn't rely on it to regain my balance if I needed to. Just wait til they yank that away from you. Don't worry they won't til they're very sure you're ready. I never, ever fell once. i think you're crying because you've come so far and you're afraid if you do fall which you won't you'll be disappointed in your progress~like you let yourself down Don't worry you will be fine just take your time and be sure to lift that bad foot high enough so you don't drag your toe and trip. see you for a cappachino:)

your fear may not be so irrational, you did not mention how you twice broke your ankle did you fall as a result of a balance issue or from trying to steer using one hand? in that case is there something that can be added to you trike like a wheel with a steering ball that may make it easier for you to handle? No fear is irrational especially after a stroke. I have never had the slightest fear of dentists, in fact, i used to fall asleep through root canal, but after brain surgery, the thought of anyone coming near me my head with a needle or a drill completely puts me over the edge. We seem to gain a new perspective on how fragile ina sense we are, especially because we were just chugging along as usual and didn't see it coming, so now we are more careful...waiting for the other shoe to drop. Good luck and I give you a lot of credit for taking the iniative to get back on that bike twice to begin with :You-Rock

VICKI, I'M SO WITH YOU ON THIS.... I FEEL LIKE PINOCCHIETTE "I WANNA BE A REAL GIRL" I went outlast night and the highlight for me was that i wore real shoes, i kow what you mean i'm so sick of wearing clogs. i'm glad you hung on to those FMPs, ya never know. i was thinking maybe i'll trying wearing them around the house to see if i can get used to them again so i can take them off if they bother me instead of being out and thinking okay what do i do now, and feeling self conscious because i look like herman Munster. DON'T GIVE UP!!!!! WE'RE GONNA DANCE AGAIN GIRLFRIEND WE CAN'T FOREVER LIVE VICARIOUSLY THROUGH DANCING WITH THE STARSand we'll look goodout there :giggle: SO DON'T THROW OUT THOSE DANCIN' SHOES CHICKLET MARIA

Sandy, john has been in the program a few weeks now, and i was wondering how he was making out. i obviously am not familiar with Mount Sinai's program first hand, but if it is modeled after kessler's...we have a whole chunk where we work on interpersonal difficulties and skills that may need to be relearned after a TBI. hope it is going well him and that he is benefitting ~ it takes some time, but it works. maria

Amy, relax, Fred is going to win the power ball, so you're in :thumbs up:

Viv, i think this is something we should have a poll on, okay maybe not, i did not have my period. i know when i am PMSing or suffering from aka mad cow disease, i got very bloopy (lightheaded, off balance, your basic punkiness) and always have, but of course now i attribute it to another stroke. i agree with the other ladies that you should check with your doctor, simply to ease your fears and give you some peace of mind.. i'd offer a piece of mine, but i don't have much to spare these days and the little bit i have left gets cluttered up quickly. maria

HI RICH, SORRY THAT YOU HAD TO DEAL WITH A TERRIBLE PLIGHT SO YOUNG. I WALK WITH A BIT OF A LIMPAND IT MAKES ME EXTREMELY SELF CONSCIOUS, BUT ANYONE WHO SEES ONLY THAT AND NOT PAST IT IS TOO SHALLOW A PERSON FOR ME OF THOSE I HAVE MET THAT HAVE LIVED THROUGH THIS THERE IS A DEEPER SENSE OF UNDERSTANDING AND APPRECIATION FOR WHAT IS IMPORTANT AND A SENSITIVITY FOR OTHERS. I'M SURE YOU FEEL RIPPED OFF WHEN YOU SEE OTHERS YOUR AGE, AS YOU SAID WHO ARE MARRIED WITH HOMES AND KIDS,AND IT IS HARD NOT TO FEEL THAT WAY. AS A SINGLE MOM, I SOMETIMES LOOK AT FRIENDS AND SEE THE SAME AS YOU ,AND THINK...DID I DO SOMETHING TO HAVE THIS DUMPED ON ME?? I WOULDN'T TRADE WHO I AM INSIDE FOR ANY OF IT. NOONE OR ANYTHING CAN TAKE THAT AWAY FROM YOU. LEARN TO APPRECIATE AND GIVE CREDIT TO YOURSELF FOR WHO YOU ARE NOT WHAT YOU HAVE OR CAN OR CANNOT DO DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME OR ENERGY ON ANYONE WHO WILL TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU. VALUE YOURSELF MORE THAN TO ALLOW THEM TO. YOU WILL FIND LOTS OF FRIENDS HERE, WHO ARE CARING, GENUINE, GIVING PEOPLE, WE ARE ALL IN THE SAME BOAT AND TRYING TO PADDLE IN THE SAME DIRECTION. FEEL FREE TO WRITE IF YOU NEED HELP WITH YOUR OAR. IT HELPS TO VENT. MARIA