Keepongoing

Are we sisters and I just didn't know it? Your mother sounds just like mine. I do the same thing as Sue, yes mom....They really do mean well. I have told my daughter to shoot me if I ever do that to her, so far so good. Hope you get some rest, I just got done going through a bout of not being able to sleep which in turn gave me headaches from lack of sleep. The nights can be pretty long when that happens. Feel better. Lynn

Hi, Glad to hear about the improvement with your father. One thing I did ask my husband was could he understand what was going on and what people were saying in the beginning. I always included him in on decisions even when he could only nod yes or no. I was not really sure he understood what was going on. but, He said he always knew what was going on. Once when Rod got a kidney infection I thought he was getting depressed too. It could be both causing the problem. Hang in there, it will get better day by day. Lynn

I got to spend most of the weekend at a regional flower show. I was recruiting students for our progam. I teach landscape contruction and design. The flowers were so beautiful and really gave you the itch for spring. Plant people are really great, they are like caregivers they always have a smile and want to talk. This is the first time in a year I have done this and I had so much fun and met so many good people. I also realized I needed to get back into my field and do some speaking events and writing about plants. I have been putting it on hold. Rod can come with me and maybe we can meet some people this way too. I did find out that the Doctor doing my surgery is the best in western NY that people go on a waiting list to have him. Good sign.

I agree with Kristen. I love reading your posts. Ray has a very special lady as his caregiver and wife. Lynn

It's getting expensive for the tooth fairy to come; for us it was 50 cent to 75 cents. My oh my, how the world changes. I can't wait to see what it will cost my daughter. Enjoy your children they grow up so fast Lynn

Welcome Bill, My husband had a stroke 3 years ago and he is getting better all the time. This is a great place for your wife too. We are glad we found this board too. Lynn

Sue, I would go over that persons head to their boss. Carpentry what in god's name is that person thinking. That person has to be accountable to someone. I would make an appt and say everything that you are saying here. What have you got to loose. The only one who is going to fight for you and Ray is you. I would give them all a piece of your mind and then some about the situation. Their job is to help you which they don't seem to be doing! Lynn

Most nights I just come here and read the blogs. They lift me up when I am down, and make me realize that things are really pretty good. I started reading tonight and it was like listen to my daughter the other night. She made the comment that I always use to see the upside to everything my glass was half full. That I am only focusing on the bad lately. Is this a caregiver thing? Then I read Alpine and Asha's blog and I heard the same thing my daughter was saying. I want to get to that point where I just apreciate all that I have that is good in my life. Not let the ups and the down affect me so much. I have been so worried about how I was going to take care of Rod after my back surgery it was really getting me down. Now, I am finding we really do have friends out here and we have people offering to help. Even Rod has stepped up his trying to do things for me. I need to Stop rushing through life and not enjoying it, I can't always be in control. I said I would do that after Rod's stroke and now I am caught up in the the rush of the world again taking care of everything. I need to take the time to feel the sunshine on my face. I guess I will always be a work in progress.

Sue, I am lucky because Rod can stay alone during the day and I can work. It gives me some time away. The rest of the time I am home. I couldn't stand dealing with people who weren't caregivers who thought they really knew how to handle everything. It took me three years to get to the point that I am not tired all the time. Now with my back problem It will start again. We are a tough lot aren't we. Lynn

Sue, You will do fine on making the decisions. You been making them along without thinking. I had to buy a car right after Rod came home and I let him help in the decision. What a mistake but, you learn from these mistakes. Do what your doing take your time, think about what you need it to do. It's scary when you were not the one making those choices before. I have learned so much in the last three years I amaze myself sometimes but, you know it's still scary every time I have to make a decision even to this day. Good luck on your car hunting. Lynn

HI Sue, I too love your blogs, just remember when one door closes another will open. It's still sad to see that happen though. Cherish the time that is left. Hope both you and Ray are doing well. Lynn

Kristin, One year post stroke is still not long. Rod will be 3 years post stroke in May. In the last two weeks he has done some amazing things, today he told me it was like a light switch turned on. There is always hope. I was at the stage you are now about a year ago I really felt maybe he need to just accept he had all that he was going to get back. What a mistake that would have been. What we did do was to accept where we were for the moment and to start living again just differently. Hang in there. Lynn

We finally got my results and I have to have back surgery (fusion) in May. It's a defect I was born with. I am just so lucky I got all the best genes (LOL). Rod came with me and even asked questions of the doctor. It's going to be difficult but, after the last two days I think we will be OK. When we got back to the car after the appt Rod insisted on taking his scooter apart and putting it in the back of the car, he did pretty well. He had a little trouble with taking the two main pieces apart. When he went to pull out the seat with one hand he couldn't do it, next minute he reaches out with his effected arm and is able to pull the seat out and uses both hands to put it in the car. I was amazed. Today I came home and he had been out to the garage and he was able to bring in two bags of pellets on his own. That made me nervous and I told him so. He told he was being careful and he was real proud of himself. Tonight he kept asking if I needed him to get anything for me. Wow, what a change. It's as if he finally is getting his drive back, I don't know if his concern for me has triggered it, but it's really nice to see him trying. We have family that will come out and help. The hospital I will be in is an hour away so they will bring Rod up to see me. I always wonder why life has to be so hard sometimes then something like this happens and then I know what that reason is. May will be 3 years post stroke and still having major improvements!

Vix, I am so happy for you it is a Big improvement. Yeah!!! Keep working those fingers and the hand will follow. That how it went for Rod. Lynn

Sue, It sounds like you still had a good time. Accidence happen, and it's not your fault nor Ray's. Rod just got done going through a difficult time while he had the bladder stones. We spent last summer traveling in our trailer and I think that is the best way to travel. When he gets tired we can stop and he can rest. We went to PA, Washington DC, Ohio, MD and every where we went we had some difficulties. Just before we left I realized that if I had to push Rod in a wheelchair It wasn't going to work so we got him a scooter. It was the best money I have ever spent. We were better able to get around in more places. We saw Longwood gardens ( here they supplied scooter for their visitors). At our Nations Capital we ran into a few things that really surprised me. You could not use out of State handicap tags, and may of the locations we visited we had to use a back door to get inside. We still had a great time and even with the problems I can't wait to do it again this summer. Lynn

Jean We set up his blog last night, and I am hoping he will start using it.

Well I finally got Rod on the board and got him in a chat with Jean and Sharnett. Thankyou both for talking to him. He was really happy he tried it. He can get over that people are talking on line. This from a man who use to build machines with computers in them. I think he is finally going to start reaching out. Today is a really good day. When he is online you will see RodD, he still learning so if he doesn't answer he maybe be confused how to respond. I will keep working with him on that. :thankyou:

Happy Birthday Amy, I thought my 30's were the best years of my life...so have the 40's. It's what you want it to be. I still feel 26. Lynn

Hi Suzie-q Your just starting your journey. My husband is 2.5 years post stroke and still things get better. You are not a whinner, I still complain at times. I think we all deserve to vent once in a while we have all been dealt a raw deal. Healing comes with talking and getting through these feelings, vent away we will listen and be there for you. We understand how you are feeling right now, but remember it will get better. Lynn

I have been reading all the blogs about love, how it changes, valentines day, and people mistaking us for their daughters instead of their wives. Today is our 18th wedding anniversary and I was thinking of all the things we cannot do or we do not have in our lives right now and it was sort of sad. I brought Rod home a rose and he had a card waiting for me. He had tried to write something special like he use to do all the time before his stroke. He had the biggest smile because he had tried and then he told me what it was suppose to say. "Happy 18th anniversary, Can I have another 18 more?" Love does change in our situations I believe it just gets more real. I still get a flutter in my heart and can't imagine life without him even when it's hard. That's what love is! Happy Valentines Day everyone

Hi Sue, I love the pictures, Ray does look happy. It is so nice to have a little bit of everyday life. Did it give you a chance to relax and enjoy the day too? It looks like from the smiles on both their faces it was an excellent day. Lynn

I was told when Rod had his stroke that more people die from stroke than heart attacks, yet more is said about the warning signs of heart attacks than strokes. After Rod's stroke I was given a list of signs, he had almost everyone, and he had been seeing his doctor to complain. She had over 10 posters on heart attack symptoms and not one for stroke. I think many GP don't even recognize stroke symptoms. There needs to be some way to make the public more aware of stroke and it's symptoms. It's too bad the American Stroke Association doesn't do more TV commercials. I know it may not help in every case but, I am sure it would help a lot of people. Just my 2 cents worth, with all of our technology why can't we use it for something worth while.

Hi Sue, I don't know about Ray but, Rod's taste buds are gone since the stroke. He would have ate it and never taste the lemon. LOL Lynn

Sue, It is so hard when we see these changes. You know they can change back just as quickly. You are saying how hot it is could the heat have something to do with his lack of wanting to eat. Rod has on more than one occasion reminded me of his father right down to facial expressions. It can be scary to see these kinds of changes. Lynn