Keepongoing

I just realized today that Rod and I will be celebrating our 18th anniversary on Feb 13. We married on the same day as our first date which was a friday the 13th (we figured if we survived the day then it was lucky for us). It was a second marriage for both of us each with our own children. They say second marriages are the hardest. I say it has been the best even with the stroke. We have been through a lot of stuff but, our relationship just always got stronger. I use to be the one always in a rush forgetting what I want to say and there would be Rod finishing my sentences. Now I am the one who finishes the sentences for him, on the days that aphasia is winning the battle. Today it happened about 5 times he was getting so frustrated and I felt so bad for him. I said with a big smile you know you use to be the one that had to finish my sentence and I didn't have an excuse. We both started laughing and realized it's things like this that makes our marriage work; love, laughter, and caring. I survived the test on my back. Hopefully in the next couple of weeks we will have a verdict on whats wrong with it. It was so nice to have my daughter and grandson out to help us for two days. The last couple of months I have been doing a lot of worrying about what to do if I get sick, who would take care of Rod and me. Our grandson is 18 months old and a doll. He sure kept Rod busy, he wore him out. I am not sure how much Rod really grasps the seriousness of my back injury. He has been really clingy all of a sudden. For now I just need to keep him laughing and finishing his sentences.

Sue, All the flying buttresses I have seen on churchs continue to stand even when the walls come down from age. It seems to be the one part of the church that never falls. Something tells me your the same way. Lynn

calendulady, You have survived a stroke, that is amazing in it's self. The distance between your sister was not created just by you, maybe she has realized that fact and whats to change your relationship. If she can't deal with the conditions at your home then she can pitch it and help or go to a hotel. I have been having trouble with my back and Rod is not capable of doing the house work. So my house is mess and right now thats not what is important. You should not feel less than anyone, we all are important in this world. People who snub their noses are not the kind of people I want around anyways. I'll bet and I am hoping your visit will go better than you think. Give it a chance, don't let your fear get the better of you. As far as marrying for love, you have 10x more than someone who marries for money. Love conquers all and it sounds like you have a good husband. Take care and try not to worry about what hasn't happened yet. :hiya: Lynn

I have to go and have a test on my back on thursday after which I have to lay flat for a day and a half(Mylogram). I was so worried about what I was going to do to feed Rod or help him if he needed it. He can do a lot of things but using the stove is not one. Then I remembered I said I was going to reach out from now on and ask for help when I needed it. Reaching out is so hard for me, I do have that super women attitude sometimes, or maybe I just don't need to be let down. Well, I reached out and to my surprise people responded. What really surprised me was my daughter. She is going to make the 6 hour drive out to help us. It just goes to show maybe outsiders really don't know what you are going through and are just waiting for you to ask. They see so many of us as a towers of strength and don't want to interfere. I am sure there are many that don't care but, I am beginning to think there are more that do.

Thanks Jean it really is. I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

Today was a good day, I am starting to have a good time at work and enjoying our life even with the changes the stroke has brought us. I hurt my back just before thanksgiving and found out on Monday it going to be a continual problem. I am just finally beginning to realize life is tough for everyone not just us, and that it could be worse! We are going to start living the life we have now and the heck with thinking about what we had. What we still have is each other. We need to find new things to do with both our limitations. Rod is trying to be even more helpful because of my back, he is truly an amazing man. He just never gives up and always has a smile for me. I have to stop trying to be so independant, always having to do everything myself. I have decided that what ever help I get from family and friends I will take. If family can't bother to pitch in then it is their loss. When I need help I am going to ask from now on and I am not going to think that I might be bothering them. It time to have a new outlook on life.

Deb, Rod had the same thing happen to him and it was a seizure problem but, it still could be TIA. You need to see a Dr. will they see you at the ER. If so then go. Since Rod got on the medication he has started to go forward again. Every time a therapist tells him he might not get more back he proves them wrong, my take on it is "it ain't over till it's over". If they stop your therapy it just maybe for a time. Rod has started and stopped more times than I can count.Wishing you well. Lynn

Well winter finally found us, darn. This Lake effect snow thing is for the birds. We are starting our third year here and I still can't figure out why anyone in their right mind would live here if they didn't have too. When I was first hired for the job I asked about they snow, I was told we get around 6" and it stays that way the rest of winter. Yeah! that because it usually snows on a daily basis. The year we moved here it snowed everyday until the end of April. At least this year has been my kind of winter so far, so I guess I had better not complain. Rod got some good news the seizures are under control and the Dr. is going to take him off the baclofen for his clonis that seems to be under control as well. Two days of Dr's appts but, some good results for a change. Sometimes it just feels like Appts are our social life. Heres hoping to an early spring and an even healthier one.

The best part of your new bag is the sass. I had Rod start carrying his wallet again and he get about $25 to hang on to that way if he wants to get something special at the store he can. I also gave him a set of keys one of which is for his scooter. Lynn

Amy, I too did the same thing but, I haven't had a stroke. I even lost my car for over an hour one time in a parking lot. Lynn

Hi Sue, I am one of the new ones and I don't blog as much as I wish I could. But, I love to read what others have wrote. Every night before I go to sleep I read all the new blogs and messages. It helps me to know I am not alone and many of the blogs make me smile. Your blog, as are many of the others, are what helps to make my life OK. Lynn

:happydance: I haven't posted in awhile but something happened that is so wonderful and I figure I need to talk about the good as well as the bad. Last night Rod made a comment that he was worried he had forgotten so much and that he could remember things that happened when the kids were little. He started talking about his stroke for the first time and told me what it had felt like and what he remembers of all that he went through. 45 mins. had past I just let him go on and on, I couldn't believe what I was hearing my husband having a conversations for the first time in 2.5 years, using sentences and talking about feelings. We were talking again something we use to love to do. I was so afraid to let it stop, that it was a fleeting moment. He all of a sudden seem more aware and wants to get back more. This has been a problem with him no desire to try and get his life back. He's doing his exercises for the past week and trying to help me even more. I just hope now that the desire to fight is back he won't get down if it doesn't go as fast as he wants it to. For now I am just going to be happy with the conversation and the little pieces of my husband that are coming back. :happydance:

Sue, I know how you feel, I am in the same boat only Rod tries most days. It still is loney and I get very tired of doing everything my self. One thing I have started doing since coming to the board is "ME" time. Whether I read, or go out for a coffee, or an evening with friends.You need to make time for yourself by your self. Get someone to come over and stay even for an evening. Hang in there its a tough row we hoe. Lynn

I couldn't have said it better myself. Lynn

Sue, You said it better than I could. Like you said sometimes it takes time to get back up and be up beat. Maybe it's our healing process. If I didn't have the blogs like yours, I know I would feel so alone. Thanks for sharing your real feelings. Lynn

Butch, It seems you are still new to all of this. I too am a caregiver and what you are feeling right now is more than likely tired frustration. I can't tell you how to feel just that you are not alone and it will get better. You are doing the hardest job of your life something you were never prepared to do. But, your doing it and I am sure it is making a difference. It will take time, but your wife will become less dependant on you constantly being there. One thing I did was to discuss the situation with my husband and explain all that I had to do and that his job was the therapy. It really does get better, I have been in your shoes. Your tired, you have to take care of everything, your frustrated at the speed of the changes. You may need some "me" time. Get someone to stay with your wife go to a game with friends, or a movie. A little break goes a long way. Lynn

I brand new to this board and I can't believe all the questions I have had that other have as well. My husband just went through a recent set back and now I am beginning to feel he may not get back to where he was before the set back. I have also spent many of times thinking this is it, this is as good as it will get because he just isn't moving forward, and then it starts again. I am normally very upbeat and keep my husband moving forward. I know this is one of the things that help him to get as far as he has. This last set back has me very down and having a hard time getting the win-win attitude back, it's like I am grieving again. What a roller coaster and now I am feeling guilty that I have lost my positive attitude.