Robyn

And yes...I will make it...with everyone's help and support...!!!

Thanks Sherri..I would ABSOLUTELY switch in a heart beat. I'd throw myself in front of a train if I thought it would help her, but I know it won't...

Know in YOUR heart that YES, if we family/caregivers could make it better for you, we would... :hug:

thank you Sherri...I really appreciate hearing from you on this. someone asked me about what would be hardest for me...leaving or staying and waiting it out...honestly, staying and waiting it out is the hardest for me...so I know that is where my learning is for me right now and is what I have to do...

Nothing in the stroke recovery process comes easy or quick and you are beating yourself up over things that can't hope to be resolved in such a short time. Can you find a way to put your fears on hold for a while and quit trying to project how Jane feels now or will feel down the road a month or two?

Jean...this statement keeps resonating with me...I keep rereading it and it is giving me some peace...thanks!

Robyn

I do yoga and pilates and meditation...and I begin a workout regime this week at the Y...I agree...channeling it all will help...

Yes...I can do that...I'm working on that. I really want to do that! That's why I'm just letting my stream of consciousness out here...trying to let the fears OUT so they don't stay with me INSIDE. I'm trying to disassociate from the musings because I know it is my minds way of coping with all going on. My meeting tomorrow with my life coach should really help me on my way with that...but these are the questions that float around in my head and if i don't ask them, I can't answer them and find a way to peace around it. Does that make sense??

Thank you...thank you...thank you...I needed to hear that Bonnie...thank you...

Jean..I hear you and that may be true and I'm SURE is true at some level. BUT, I always checked in with her...always said, is this comfortable for you...do you want me to stay...do you want me to go. What do you want from me, and I always did as she asked...ALWAYS...would any lover/husband/wife do anything else but that? Stroke is a FAMILY DISEASE. It doesn't just affect the stroke survivor but the family as well...I am her family and YES, I am affected to... So yes, I am checking in with my heart...yes I am concerned about how this affects US and ME, but I've never wanted to do ANYTHING but support her and I always told her that...always told her not to worry about us...to focus on her recovery. And I believe my actions supported that...

And yes, under the influence of her family. Even her therapist confided in me that she was/is concerned about having Jane enmeshed back in that place but unfortunately it is the best place for her right now. OK...I don't want to sound mean...I don't intend to, but I know what she's shared with me and what I've observed...and I recognize I'm speaking from a place of pain right now but...well...whatever...YES, she is under the influence of her family. All I can hope is that she escapes soon...soon...