Robyn

Bravo!!! You have a great guy there!!!

SEnding it back to ya, dude!!! I can wait a bit longer!!!!

And so goes the housing market...hang in there!

XO Robyn

WHEW...I love ya kiddo! Take care of yourself!

XOXO R

In my mind, when you are feeling your relationship was based on Jane's lieing to you you are really beating yourself up (how could I "fall" for her? what's wrong with me? how could I be so gullible?) right along with holding alot of resentment toward her about what was.

Yeah...that's about right...!!! LOL!!! I know I won't stay here, but its where I am right now. I really don't WANT to believe it was a lie, but it does feel like a violation when someone one day says I love you, you're my best friend and the next day, CIAO BABY...! I'll make peace with that as well I'm sure...that's what I'm paying the big bucks for therapy to help understand. I know deep down it is the stroke-induced confabulation and her emotional intimacy/baggage but I'm not ready to make peace with that yet, know what I mean? It still hurts too dang much... We all have to work down our paths of healing in our own way!!

:hug: XO Robyn

Good for you. If you don't take care of yourself you won't be able to be there for them ANYWAY! Don't feel guilty...relax and enjoy! :hug:

Yeah...that's the HIPPA (sp?) laws...it's that way EVERYWHERE...

Yeah...4 and 7 are too young to be able to help. Can you get a home health aid for the evening hours to give you a break so you can spend some quality time with your kids, get changed out of your clothes, and have someone help get dinner on the table?

Sherri...My house is outside of Albany in East Nassau, NY...Rensselaer County. Binghamton is way more depressed than Albany was until about May when I put my house on the market. Now the Albany market is flat...sigh...

Jean...I'd agree with you if it were actually something he did BEFORE we moved but he never really called when he didn't have the kids and this has been going on for three years+ . It's just his way. Most divorced fathers I talk to actually call their kids every day...he just doesn't. I've urged Sam to call his dad more this past week or so but that's because Sam has been really acting out and I figured speaking with dad would help. Dad hasn't called regularly so we've had to do it...I just can't get him to call... It isn't that he doesn't love them, but I just don't get it...

My friends are awesome...many have called and emailed...some said "So now are you going to move back home???" It is nice but I didn't move for Jane (although I tried to move closer to her) so moving back isn't an option. They are all giving me whatever space I need and whatever embracing I need which is great!

Take care of yourself...can the kids help you out in any way? How old are they?

Welcome...there are no mistakes in the blog world...just let it flow!

I find journaling is a wonderful tool to help one process. I've used it pretty intensely the last month although now things are leveling off. Normally I journal in private but this place has really helped me deal with the stroke of my ex-partner who has recently broken up with me after 3 years. Now I plan on journaling about how my life is moving onward!

Blogs will ebb and flow depending on our needs...don't try to plan it, just do it.

Enjoy your trip to the UK...have a very grand time!!!

OH SWEETNESS!!!! :hug: Definitely see your doc...get some different meds. If you are tired and unenthused this is not normal...stroke or no stroke. Stupid thoughts are not normal too! I am REALLY worried about you...PLEASE take care of yourself. Email me or PM if you just want to unload. I am TOTALLY here for you!!!!!!

Please please...I care for you so much...PM me if you need me...!!!!

Sue...thank you. The Dead Sea is dead because it receives and never gives out... I agree...when you offer yourself to others you gain so much. The notion of giving back to society, of giving of yourself to others is so important to me. In my teaching I encourage my students to give back to society and to encourage the businesses they work in to give back to society...social responsibility we call it in the JARGON.

Jane used to be amazed at what I gave to others...to my children and their schools...to causes...I've performed in the Vagina Monologues to fight violence against women...mentored student groups... She never made the time to do those things...too busy with her own stuff, she said. As I reflect on the things in our relationship, I wonder how I missed this stuff... Then I'm glad I am who I am...I'm glad I have done and will continue to do what I do for others. It just gives me more enlightenment and understanding that I should've seen the writing on the wall ages ago and I never ever saw it... Sorry to ramble like this here but I'm realizing more and more what a selfish person she was and I looked past it...she couldn't accept me wanting to give to her because she was dead inside in so many ways already... WOW... I think it wasn't a place she wanted to be but couldn't help herself ultimately...how sad for her...

:Clap-Hands: BRAVO...prove them wrong! And I'm glad the creepy guy left!

Pre-defense jitters!!! You can do it! We all have our needy moments though...I have them regularly. Am feeling a bit needy myself now too!!!

:Clap-Hands: YIPPEE!!!

I'm sorry you had such a negative experience...we are ALWAYS here for you!!! :hug:

WHEW!! Thanks...I'll let you know if it works for me!!!!!!

Heck...I'm insecure and I haven't HAD a stroke. Yes, these things happen in EVERY relationship and it is important to talk it out and find ways to reassure each other when the baggage we have comes out to dance!! Keep talking...it is the only way it will work!!!

Can you work with a speech therapist to come up with better ways to help stimulate your memory???

I don't think there are "appropriate" illnesses but I'm learning that there are lessons that a higher power offers us in these moments. Instead of focusing on what you did to deserve the stroke...awful thought at that...focus on what you are learning NOW about yourself that can help you be a better more whole person!!!

How many more days for the diss defense???!!

Sherri...blogging helps TRULY! Let it all out there...the blog hears you without judgment and the perspective from others here helps, too!

I encourage my students to journal as well!!!

:hug: Welcome to blogging...it is therapeutic so I encourage you to continue processing when you can!

Thanks Bonnie! I appreciate that...warms me to my center!!!

thanks...Phyllis! I'm trying...

Thanks Sue...beautiful words! Even though I'll have some closure with things, I know that there will still be a long time to heal. And I know I'll have good days and bad days. I'm in no hurry...I will continue to work with my coach and my therapist and my blogging here...and one day I'll wake up and it won't hurt so much and the air will smell sweet and the day will feel light and airy!!