Robyn

Good for you...working is therapeutic in so many ways. It is symbolic of all you've accomplished...bravo!

Love ya kiddo! :hug:

CoQ10 is a great thing to take for anything brain related as far as I understand.

Thanks Mel!!! SMOOOOCH! Keep smiling love and sleep tight! Rest when your body says to rest!!!

June, I can't concentrate JUST on the kids, any more than your husband or anyone else's wife could have just walked away from their spouse/significant other. I cannot and will not move on yet. I have a comittment which is as strong and as meaningful as any marital vow, even without the legal documents. Even if we don't speak often right now I am committed. We are a family in every sense of that word and her stroke has affected ALL OF US. My son said he dreamed about Jane last night. My daughter prays every night for Jane to get better and return to our family...so this has had an impact on each of us. Moving on isn't an option right now...not yet...not while there is still hope.

Agreed...what Jean said...that paragraph resonated with me as well. Being a step parent isn't easy and you may still be seen as an interloper of sorts, no matter how much things have been resolved since you and Bill got married. As many have told me, illness can bring out some tough unresolved stuff for people...just as Jane's sister has not dealt with her own unresolved stuff.

Let your love for Bill and for Trey shine through...he'll see it eventually! :hug:

Love transcends all physical conditions!! There is true love in Ray even if he doesn't have the physical abilities any more. Hold on to that as its precious...

Thanks...I appreciate you saying that!!! It is hard and there's no right way to do this but I'm trying!!

Best of luck with the interview...I look forward to seeing it on the news. Let us know about the airdate!!

It's nice to have time on your own! I hope the cat provides you with enough entertainment for the time being!!!

Oh gosh...there's nothing in Alton...or Edwardsville for that matter. Barnes-Jewish in St.L. is a wonderful resource so I hope they can help. They're highly ranked for neurology too which is great. That was my concern bring Jane here...I wasn't sure there'd be good resources in Edwardsville but I figured there would be in St.L. Good to know there are resources in case things change in the future.

Since we are so close -- 15 minutes-ish, if I can be of any support, let me know!!! :hug:

Amazing what kids will share and when!!! I agree with June...she will carry that experience with her for a long time!

I agree...I was very mindful of that last night!!! That's why I laid with him for over an hour and we hugged and talked and I just let him express his worries and concerns.

You are absolutely right! :hug:

Tina...anniversaries always carry mixed blessings. On the one hand, it is a memory of something that was devastating yet on the other hand, think of how far he has come in a year! Focus on the positives and the day will be a celebration!

From your entry I can see you are near St. Louis...I am in Edwardsville, IL, right across the mighty Mississippi. Are you in Illinois or Missouri?

As for comprehensive care...I don't have first hand experience with this sort of stuff but if the Rehab Institute has the experience with stroke patients then that could be beneficial, even one year post stroke. I know Jane is at Spaulding Institute in Massachusetts which is one of the best for stroke rehab so I feel confident they are really focusing on her needs.

You are right...everyone recovers at their own rate. That was a very informative blog...thanks!

Three Cheers for Independence!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :Clap-Hands:

It was insensitive but don't internalize it...perhaps she didn't know you had a stroke. Either way...as June said, you are doing your best and that's ALL that matters. The two people who's opinion count the most are YOURS and your husband's...no one else matters! :hug:

I'm definitely blogging for me, THANKS!!!

Yes...it does effect everyone, unfortunately the stroke survivor doesn't recognize that for a while, if ever. I'm hoping this time and space has really helped her clear her head. I'm just continuing to do my work to make myself healthy and comfortable with this new situation. I keep hoping and praying she'll come around in time...that's what everyone has told me should happen so I'll just keep up the faith!

Thanks Ruth and Jean...I am heading towards a better place. It is still a journey and a process but both my therapist and my coach have said that I'm doing all I can do to manage this situation and its frustrations. I'm enjoying the UPS when they happen and am not letting myself stay in the DOWNS when they come back to haunt me. Its a roller coaster ride for sure.

I miss her and I'm worried about her but I've accepted this is how it has to be right now. I think in time it WILL be fine but I'm just having to learn a lot about myself until then...

Thanks for all your support. I don't know about telling Jane about the site yet. I don't know how our next conversation will go but I DO know she's getting plenty of physical, cognitive, and emotional support at Spaulding and with her therapist/coach so I'm thinking right now she has what she needs. I think in time yes she should know about this place but frankly, if I may be a BIT selfish, I need this place as my refuge and it would be hard for me to be honest and share what's really hurting me and frustrating me if she were lurking over my shoulder. Right now she doesn't have her computer with her anyway...it is in Colorado so it isn't really an option at this point.

I'm sorry you are feeling down :friends: Don't censor yourself here...this is where you can share and get support from people who get what you are going through.

I can't even imagine what you caregivers go through and I have a lot of respect for it. You need to do what is best for you and Ray, no matter what...

Advisors can be such Jack*sses, can't they??!!!! Bravo that you are gaining your confidence!!! Congrats!

My vocational test said I'd be a teacher...EWWWW I said...now I have a PHD and teach college students and LOVE IT!!! ah well...life hands us what it hands us!!!

Give 'em hell Nurse Susie...get the test done right!!

Happy Anniversary!!! What wonderful news!!! I'm glad you are eating more too!

Thanks Tina...I'm hoping the worst of it will be over after I chat with her in a few weeks. But I REFUSE to let myself get immobilized by this. Regardless I have to help my kids out...keep them focused...and I have to get my work done. Life DOES go on despite my sorrows, right? I have already been on the Cymbalta otherwise I don't know if I would've started it. But I won't increase it...decided it would mask all I needed to experience and learn about this time in my life, you know?

I'm glad to hear it gets easier...never easy, but easier. Keep plugging away!!! I am doing the same!

Cheers...R

ABSOLUTELY...working on abs and back will help you keep balance and stand! That dreadful feeling will eventually fade away as you come to trust in your body more and more.

As for the pneumonia...you can't live in fear of it. Just work on keeping yourself healthy...you are STRONG...you are LOVED!!! :hug:

I couldn't agree more Asha...That is what I've been reflecting on all weekend and what I'm working on to build! I'm glad we are on the same wavelength!!

It feels so good...and peaceful right now for me. There are moments when its hard but when I really do focus on my inner strengths I can almost feel it BURSTING out of me!!!! It is glorious and rewarding!

Thank you for reflecting on that point...I appreciate it!!!