rdittman

Stroke Survivor - male
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Blog Entries posted by rdittman

  1. rdittman

    My trip to the doc

    By rdittman,

    I have to like my GP. He always finds the time to see me, even on short notice, like yesterday when I called early in the morning, and I got an appointment in the afternoon.
     
    I am so lucky to have found him. I just pulled his name out of a list during an open enrollment period at work. I had moved and needed to switch doctors, and did I get lucky. I would call it divine providence.
     
    I sometimes wonder if he thinks I am a hypocondriac, but he never shows it. I am a bit of a rare bird, and he struggled a while trying to figure out my condition. Even though he sometimes calls me "his guinea pig," I know he means to do his best for me.
     
    I just about burnt myself out getting ready for the visit yesterday. I have been struggling with fatigue lately, probably because I haven't been sleeping well. Getting cleaned up, dressed and down to the doctor's office was a chore, but I got a chance to sit in the office and catch my breath before I saw my doc.
     
    As always, he was great, and after I educated him a bit about CPS, we decided to try Cymbalta as a means of treatment. I had been on Lexapro, and hated it. I am hoping Cymbalta will help me with my CPS symptoms, and also with the fatigue. We'll see in about three weeks.
     
    When it comes to my care, I trust my GP more than my neurologist. My neurologist is a very smart man, but he really specializes in MS and not stroke. My GP takes the time to listen to me, and I never feel rushed. We get to discuss everything, so I feel like I get an opportunity to participate in my own care. I like a doctor who interacts with me. I have had many doctors over the years, who either do all the talking, or the other extreme, where I have to drag words out of their mouths.
     
    All in all, a good trip to the doc. Time to get my new day going with a little food and beverege.
     
     
  2. rdittman

    Restlessness

    By rdittman,

    I had one of those nights where I was up and down most of the night. I really hate it, because my body was tired, but my body wouldn't rest. Usually that means my mind is racing about things, but it really wasn't. So then I try to figure out whether it is my CPS keeping me awake, and that wasn't it either. So that starts my mind racing, and of course that does keep me up.
     
    So at 4am, I decided to leave a message with my doctor about it. He has a message machine I can leave messages on as well as a service, but it wasn't serious enough to have left a message with the service. Besides, he has also left me his cell phone number if I need to call him directly. How many doctors out there would do that? I am really blessed to have this man taking care of me.
     
    So I was able to get back to sleep after that call for a good 4 hours. I attribute that to calling my doc; kind of getting the sleeplessness worries off my back.
     
    When I did get up, I wasn't quite sure if I had called him or not. I almost didn't care, as I was able to get back to sleep. Anyway, I guess I did call him, because the office did just call, and I have an appointment this afternoon now. Maybe we can discuss my medication as a cause of the sleeplesness.
     
    If this was the first time this happened lately, I could dismiss it, but there have been several nights this week where this is the case. Time to get this under control, if it can be. Got to love the fact that my memory wasn't too bad in remembering that I called the doc.
     
    Well, now is now, and I have to get ready. It's off to see the wizard...
  3. rdittman
    Yesterday was a day where I just had to rest. I had so much wanted to take care of some important paperwork, but I could tell early on, it was not to be.
     
    Spending two days out over the past weekend I think did me in. It was the first time out with friends in quite some time, and I had great fun, but retrospectively, maybe one day would have been better. I could tell on Monday that I was spiraling down, but I didn't know just how much. My CPS really started flaring up, and fatigue was extreme yesterday.
     
    On the plus side, today has started out well. I heard from an old friend I haven't heard from in years. He is an outdoor writer, and we used to get together occasionally to fish. We live in seperate areas of the state, but he wants to get me out fishing again, which I haven't attempted since before my stroke. I am looking forward to trying again.
     
    I rested fairly well overnight, and the pain has subsided too. I have to get that paperwork done today, and it seems the energy level will be fine to accomplish this task. The pain is not so bad either. It looks like a good day outside too, just a little cool. The sun is shining, which always cheers me up. If I head outside, it won't be until this afternoon, when it warms up a bit.
     
    I'm going to be careful not to over do it today, but what a difference a day makes.
  4. rdittman
    I had such great intentions today, to get all sorts of things done, but not much got accomplished. It's funny, because I had a good nights sleep and awoke with a fair amount of energy. Ever since my stroke, I get on average 4 hours a night of sleep. I never really needed sleep that much. Six hours was what I used to get pre-stroke. Somedays I get a short nap in to get a little more rest. Then of course are the bad days, where I lay around on the couch and drift in and out all day long.
     
    My morning hours were checking email and I spent some time here on the boards. All the sudden it was 11am and I realized I needed to do some things today. I got a bite to eat and then noticed how trashed my kitchen got in just one day. Everything takes more time now post-stroke, so I spent time getting the kitchen all cleaned up. I spent an hour putting things away and getting the dishes into the dishwasher.
     
    At that point, I needed to break. Back on the internet I go. My laptop resides in the living room and I have a recliner that I sit in when I rest. Sometimes I put on the TV or music while online. It is just another distraction, but helps me pass the time. I put on a West Wing DVD. I really liked that show. It was well written with a supurb ensemble cast. I am kind of a political junkie too. I minored in Political Science in college. I was never smart enough to get into law school, so I went a different direction with Telecommunications. So why is it my adult working life was spent in retail? A lot of good college did me. I did have fun there though.
     
    Suddenly it's 5pm, and I'm getting hungry. So I made a simple dinner, and then cleaned up right afterward, so tomorrow I won't spend an hour cleaning up.
     
    And now is now, and it is too late in the day for me to have enough energy to get started on any project. My CPS has flared up a bit tonight and my hand feels like its on fire. I'll spend the rest of the evening online and watching TV.
     
    Tomorrow I have to get some paperwork together for Social Security. I am applying for SSDI and have to get all my info together soon. I am on State Disability now, and it will run out next June. The amount of things they ask at for Social Security is almost unreal. For the state, it was fairly simple and straightfoward.
     
    I think I am done ramblin' for now. Time for a cup of cocoa and then "settle in for a long winters nap."
  5. rdittman

    Getting out and about

    By rdittman,

    The last two days were my first days in over a month that I wandered out for anything other than doctor appointments. Yesterday, I visited with friends for a late Thanksgiving get together. There were about 20 people, and it was great to get out of the house and be with friends, even if just for a few hours. I even drove myself (have a left footed accelerator fitted in the car as my right side is affected), mainly due to the fact that if I became tired, I could leave. I would not have to bother someone there to take me home, or have to wait until they wanted to leave.
     
    Anyway, I found I wanted to remove myself from the the ruckus several times through the evening. It was more than my brain could handle. I found it easier to have one on one conversations when I could find them. This is the first time I ever had this issue, post-stroke. I will attribute it to my Central Pain Syndrome, of which I was recently diagnosed with.
     
    Today, I really wanted to get to church. I haven't been to church, again, in over a month, and being a pretty devoted Christian, it has been hard not going. My church has been very good to me, facilitating people to come to my apartment to help me. The church even paid some of my bills.
     
    Friends came to pick me up at 8:30am, and we went to church together. I really needed to have my wheelchair for church, and since I can't get the chair into my car by myself, it is easier to ride with friends. My church is what is sometimes called a Megachurch. It is a large property, and I knew I wouldn't make it with just my walker. There would be too many miles to walk and I would have been exhausted.
     
    I went to my Sunday School class and enjoyed it. After class we got a short break, and then off to the Sunday Church Service. Service is in an auditorium, and being so large in size, the sound is large in size too. Again, I nearly couldn't handle the volume from the Worship Band. I almost wheeled myself out. It never used to bother me, but today it was overwhelming. I liked the choice of music, but it was just too loud, and my brain was in sensory overload. I managed to get through it, and through the rest of the service. I have decided to get some earplugs before I go next time; hopefully it will help with the volume and my brain.
     
    Getting out the past couple of days has been great, but I now know I have some new limitations. What a learning process stroke rehab is. Just when I thought I figured it out, a new wrinkle occurs. It does make life interesting though. As the old cliche says; "Never a dull moment."
  6. rdittman

    Woke up early again

    By rdittman,

    It's 6:30am here, and I have been up since five. I so wanted a good nights sleep but only got 4 hours. I guess thats what I get for doing nothing yesterday. That's only part of it though, as my shoulder hurts from hanging over the bed. Of course this is on my affected side.
     
    I have worked my shoulder and arm a bit since arising, but it is still sore. I will have to be very careful today as to how I am holding my arm as I get out and about. I don't want it popping out because I am being careless.
     
    I am getting together with friends today for an extra Thanksgiving get-together. I haven't seen some of these folks in over a month, so we will have lots to catch up on. :chat: These friends have been so instrumental in helping with my recovery, especially during my hospital stay and upon release.
     
    I need to make some pumpkin bread before I go, so I'll be busy later this morning. I like to cook and bake, and now that I had my stroke, it is a bit harder in the kitchen, but I found a few kitchen gadgets that have helped me continue with my psuedo-hobby.
     
    This talk about food is making me hungry. It's time for some breakfast.
  7. rdittman

    Just plain tired today

    By rdittman,

    Just one of those days, I guess, where I didn't want to do a thing. No; it wasn't because I ate too much yesterday and needed a nutritional break. I just had a day where my brain was telling me to rest. Ever have one of those days?
     
    I usually can get around in my place with my walker, but today, my balance was off, so I decided to rest in front of the TV and watch football. I must admit I dozed off several times.
     
    The day kind of started early, when the garbage men came by about 5:30am. Their truck always sets off my car alarm, so up I go to reset the alarm and try to get back to sleep. No deal though. So I got up to watch a little morning news on the TV and get a cup of coffee.
     
    After that was football and me on the couch. As mentioned, I just couldn't get any energy, and the balance was off, so I spent most of the day laying down. I still have no umph, but thought I would get up and get online.
     
    Stroke is an amazing thing. Somedays are up, and some are down. Even on the down days though, like today, I am still thankful to be around. Tonight-who knows-maybe the energy will come back, but even if it doesn't, tomorrow is a new day.
  8. rdittman

    The Sunday Chronicles

    By rdittman,

    I woke up feeling pretty good today. I kind of had to rush to get ready for church, and managed to get ready in time for my ride to pick me up. I got a call about 8:15am from Kathleen, my ride, that the power went out at their place overnight, and the alarm didn't go off. They wanted to know if I wanted to go to just the church service. We usually go to a class first and then to service. I said sure, and she said that they would be by to pick me up at 10:20.
     
    So I had some time to kill. I turned on the TV and watched some news and had a second breakfast. The first breakfast was a little light as I was rushing to get ready; a time constraint issue.
     
    Anyway, I was watching TV and caught a commercial that had me ROFL. There was a product being pitched called Combos, some kind of bagged snack food. I wouldn't do the commercial justice by describing it here, but I'll give you the tag line; "The kind of food your Mom would feed you, if your Mom was a man." I was crying from my laughter. That got my day off with a real smile.
     
    It was cold and rainy here today, and my body felt it after I got outside heading for church. My CPS was flaring up by the time the service started, and then the music was just too loud for me to handle. Several times during the worship, I was bent over in pain. I was a Worship Leader for two years (former church), a musician, and worked as an Audio Engineer at this church. Noise never used to bother me. Now, post-stroke, I can't handle the volume. I thought it was just me today, but Kathleen and her husband Phil, agreed with me it was exceptionally loud. I dearly love my church, but I don't know if I will be able to handle the music if it continues at this level. The music itself is good, just too amplified. Kathleen has Fybromyalgia, and she was hurting and had a headache too after leaving todays service.
     
    So I got home after service feeling lousy. The day started off so well and I was expecting to have a good day. I rested on the couch for a bit and watched my 49'ers lose to Green Bay. I like watching sports, but I don't live or die by my favorite team's wins and losses. I started to feel better, so I again prepared some food, chicken breast with rosemary and some rice with broccoli.
     
    After my early dinner, TV still on, I watched a Christmas movie called Mary Christmas, one of those sappy romantic made for TV movies. I don't know why, but I am a sucker for what might be termed, "Chick Flicks." I like other generes too, but if you saw my DVD collection...
     
    Then I got laughing at one of those bizarre thoughts that crossed through my mind. I saw a TV commercial (again with the commercial) for the Clapper, the device that turns your lights on and off with the clap of your hands. I got to thinking; if I had one of these in my house, and the Clapper commercial was on TV, and the people clapped on TV to demonstrate the product, would it turn my lights on and off too?
     
    So my day was up, down, and up again. Thank God it is ending on a high note. It is much easier to go to bed that way.
  9. rdittman
    It was one of those picture perfect, sun shining winter days here today. There was a little crispness to the air, bearable of course, and in the big blue skies, you could see for miles and miles. Heading out for church, I could see the snowcapped Sierras off in the distance; the mountains making beaconing calls to the myriad of skiing enthusiasts who were no doubt on the slopes, or were about to embark on a day of snowy frivolity. I chose the safer route for me, which was fellowship in a slightly warmer climate.
     
    There is something about the winter sun that gives me that sense that everything is right with the world. The summer sun is too hot here, and mainly avoidable during the peak of the day. Then it is a time to escape it for the comforts of an air conditioned environment. The winter sun is something to be relished, for it is fleeting, as the days are shorter and the clouds soon return. In the winter, the sun brings me joy, and I don't want it to end.
     
    So my sun shining winter day brought much sunshine to my life. May tomorrow be a day of uniqueness, much experienced by this sojourner today.