AZ Leah

Time for another update. I am finally healed from my injured rib (it took a month!) and will have my first work-out in a month with my trainer on Monday :Clap-Hands: . If all goes well, I will head for the pool class on Thursday but will probably not do much more than move around in the water a so as to not overdue. I feel I have taken a step backwards but like they say with horses, if you fall off, get back on. So that is what I intend to do. It would be easier to just say forget it and stay home everyday but my guilt won

Hi Phil..saw you in chat tonight. I am also a brainstem stroke survivor. I can identify with all the different stages of recovery. Every step taken is a step toward progress. Glad you have joined us. God bless. Leah (from Arizona)

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Good going Bonnie. If at first you don't succeed, try try again! And you have proved that old addage right! I can't use my spellcheck or else I lose my blog so maybe I'll have to try a test like you did. Leah

hi sue: you have sure faced a lot of challenges the last 10 years and it is obvious you are a strong, courageous woman to have gone through it. My husband comes back tomorrow after 9 days away - the first time since my stroke almost 3 years ago. I know he really needed it and I'm happy for you that you can get a much needed break. God bless you. Leah

Things have gone pretty well except for one big snafu. Wed. night I was watching TV and I heard a commotion and a crash on our screened porch (which adjoins our fam room with a solid door). So of course I had to see what it was or I should say which kitties created the noise and ensuing problem. I went out on the screen porch and one cat had chased another into a round table, tipped it over and took with it a vase and plant --KOBOOM .:yikes: In peeking over to see how much mess there was, I lost my balance and (yep) fell, hitting another smaller round table on my way down. :oops: Luckily no cuts or brakes but I have a bruised rib which will take a while to heal. I have learned YET another lesson the hart way - never go out on the porch without my cane. I am sore and tired due to pain but have til tomorrow til Jerry comes back. He arrives in Atlanta tonight and spends the night there with his sister. I figure he'll call. I am not goint to tell him what happened til he gets home. I figure he can do with another night with no problems. I almost feel like a schoolgirl ready to get a scoulding than a 65 yr old woman (although immature) who didn't do anything on purpose. A friend of mine came up on Wed and cleaned the littler for me and picked up the broken vase mess. Bless her - She is actually going to glue to back together!! My neighbor is picking up my mail til Jer gets home and I was able to clean the litter today. It's hard finding a comfortable position to sleep but I guess I did okay. I took an early nap yesterday so I could watch U OF A WILDCATS (#12) BEAT UTAH (#5) YEH YEH. His highness :horse: gets home tomorrow around noon so I may miss chat. But all is well and I have taken care of things myself -- thank you very muchy!! :happydance: This is a great venue to vent. I've talked to someone every day so I am not alone ! Leah

I want to thank everyone who has given me support while Jerry is gone. Today is Day #3 and I am doing just fine. I went into chat on Fri. and then again today. I've also talked with some friends each day. Yesterday was busy...actually too busy. I had my hair done, had an hour workout with weights and machines and then a manicure. WHEW I was pooped when I got home but it made for a very good nap. Today I am still tired and feel a little disjointed. I ran a load of wash, tried to do a little on our tax return (didn't get far with that), made a cinamon streudel quick bread (I felt like something yummy) and read some. I have 10 more minutes until the bread is done and then I will try to nap. I had plans to have lunch with a lady friend tomorrow but I don't feel like it now - I'll just wait until tomorrow. She is the type of friend who won't get ticked off if I cancel. I told you I would let you know how I was with Jer gone and I really am fine (only got weepy once for a VERY short time -deep breathing worked to get me out of it). I'm not sorry I'm not on the beach; I would probably still be resting from the long flight. Opps, the oven is calling me. Hugs from Leah :friends:

Thanks Fred for your post. I haven't done "why me" since my stroke because I don't think anyone "deserves" ill health. But that doesn't mean I don't have trouble copying, accepting my lot, and adjusting. I pray a lot and know that things will happen in God's time, not mine. I also did a lot of wild crazy things in my youth but I don't believe I'm being punished. God is giving me the grace to deal with this one day at a time. Leah

I promised myself I would do a blog entry today and here it is 9:45pm and I haven

Way to go girl!!! You've come a long way baby!! And, yes, you are a miracle. God obviously saved you for a reason and you are proof that with faith all things are possible. I am blessed too after my brain stem stroke (I think the clot must have disapated pretty fast altho' I too was 100% paralyzed). I walk short distances with a cane or walker - no mall for me either but I can do CVS or Hallmarks if the parking is close - My big accomplishment was driving. God gives you angels wherever you go and he certainly did on your walking day. That is so awesome. You are a miracle and do soar. Leah

Hi Sue: Thank you for sharing my thoughts. I cannot put things in words very well. I like Wesley's comment that he didn't know you had been running around in his brain! I try hard to live one day at a time, not project and do what I can. I read a lot which I think is some kind of escape. So be it. I try to do something for someone else every day, just if it's a phone call or email "thinking of you" and smile for someone who doesn't seem to expect one. In the beginning I think I was trying to do stroke "perfect" ... no such thing. I don't know if I will get any better but that is okay because I have come so far since May 2006 (second brainstem big stroke June 2006). We are all survivors, whether we are caregivers or the stroke survivor or in many cases an older person going through life. Bless you for the wisdom you share with us. Hugs, Leah

Hi Kathy: I wish I was there to give you a real big hug right now. :hug: You and I have been on the same page lately. I believe your giving in (not giving up) is your moving forward in the acceptance process. I've had help with housework since I came home from hospital. I cannot get down on my hands and knees. You have reached and accepted your limitations more than I have. I am pacing myself better now but I am still pushing. I often wonder if I could accept giving in and spend more time at home doing things I really love to do. Everyone is on their own journey and I pray for God's guidance to make decisions in line with his will. No matter how hard I try, high expectations are constantly hitting me in the face. It happened again today but this time I am not crying about it. So that is progress. It isn't easy getting use to the "new normal" and we are all a little different. I try not to compare myself with anyone else but accept the me I am while not giving up. We are the survivors. Many who have given up do not have any quality of life at all. I think it is fabulous that you paint and draw - cherish the natural talents God has given you (mine is cross-stitch which I do for relative or friends). I can't draw a straigt line without a ruler!! I am in your cheering section all the way :cheer: We will become more comfortable in our own skins when we have reached the degree of acceptance you have. I can't wait ! Hugs, Leah

Thank you everyone for your hugs and support. I am taking today (Friday) off. I'm going to practice taking care of myself which means not making any decisions either. I'm still confused about the psychologist but I will pray on it before my next appt in 3 weeks and have faith the right answer will come. Leah :friends:

This blog entry ended up being "too" long but I'm posting it anyway so bare with me. This last Monday, January 26, I had an appointment with a psychologist. From talking with her on the phone I thought she would be a

Hi Kathy: Are you sure I didn't write your blog for you !!~ LOL I am feeling exactly the same way. I am in the process of do a new entry to my blog which will parallel yours. I get so frustrated that I cannot do more (facing the fact that ONE event a day is enough for me is just not sinking into my pea brain). So tomorrow I have my pool class and that is it, altho' I want to have blood drawn before the class - shouldn't be too much I think!!. I think of you a lot. I honestly think the answer to our problems is ...giving time the time needed to adjust to our new self. My husband says it plainly. I was one person for 63 years and then when things went BOOM I cannot expect to change everything overnight. Hugs, Leah :friends:

I can identify, in one way or the other, with what everyone has said. I had quit smoking and drinking (completely) 10 years before my stroke, was in good physical condition, low BP, decent CHL and boom - my life changed. The drs and me don't know why but it happened. I try daily to have a positive outlook but some days or worse than others. I'm here today, cried a lot last night and this morning but it has disappaited now . My emotional lability stinks and "normal" people don't get it. I reach to God for strength and courage to go on and just maybe I have some more recovery in me Is it Fair - probably not. But instead of why me?, why not me? If God thinks I am strong enough to get through this, I guess I should be honored. Sound nuts? yep I am!! My brain is injured and I had to remember that. Leah

Marie: As I mentioned before, we never know what God's plan is, not only for ourselves but for another's journey. Leah

Marie: I'm so sorry for you that you cannot share in your son's joy with him at this moment. I pray all will be well within your family so you can be united again and share the moments of his wedding. I hope to see you in chat on Sunday. Your volunteer work on the strokeboard is appreciated by me and I'm sure a lot of others. All we can do is try our best, let go and the rest will follow. We never know what God's plan is for ourselves or others. Leah

Thanks Maria, for your input. I haven't really found peace of mind but it is better and I am working on it one day @ a time. Today I do have a pool class; I would rather pull the covers over my head and hibernate, but that wouldn't help, would it ? DUH. I know I'll feel better when I am in the pool. Leah