AZ Leah

Stroke Survivor - female
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  1. AZ Leah

    Update

    By AZ Leah,

    This was the blog I was working on when my computer crashed. So instead of trying to edit it, I'm going to publish it as is. Stroke has taught me it doesn't help to try to be a perfectionist..
    So here 'tis: written about October 1:
     
    It's been a couple weeks since we've been back from California. The trip was nice but I am now spending time un-tripping (LOL I know that isn't a word). What that is for me is resting from the travel day, unpacking, doing and sorting the mail, paying bills, checking email, phone messages, ya da ya da ya da. I have the job of the bills and Jerry now does most dinners. The better I am the more responsibility I take on which is partly my fault. Anyway, I sometimes wonder if going away is worth it. We've gone away 3 times this year; two too many although I enjoyed seeing our friends the last two times in California.
     
    I do prefer being home amongst my creature comforts and routine and it takes me a while to get back into feeling comfortable again. We just finished wash and I'm just about caught up with paperwork. I've been in the dumps a little lately...I don't think its depression altho' it could be a little of that too. I'm on an mild antidepressant and don't know if it helps but am not about ready to try without. I also think I am going through another level of acceptance of my physical, emotional condition since stroke, but lately I think it's more of adjustment and not acceptance. I do accept that this is what has happened...no denying that. But the adjustment of my life compared to my "old" life isn't coming all too easy. I try to focus on how much I have improved since I came home a little over 2 years ago and also thank God daily for saving me and for my recovery and for everything I am able to do which is a lot. I feel that I don't have any business feeling depressed but then again I know I am allowed to have my own feelings.
     
    I went to Tucson's stroke support group (they meet monthly) and it was good. I also started working out with my trainer again and did 1/2 hr of pool on Sunday. I'm grateful our weather is still good. I've started my "routine" Dr. appts. Went to a new urologist last week who changed my RX and next week I start a neurostimulation program. Its 30min 1x/wk for 12 wks at her office using a needle electrode. I sure hope this helps. One BIG advantage is that I am now on Medicare and have a medical supplement which covers this program. I also have rheumatoid arthritis and I see that Dr. this week, then in a couple weeks I have my neurologist and primary care. I went on Medicare Aug. 1 and it's been a pain changing my prescription to the new pharmacy. All but one are done and so far all but one are covered (not all free of course). I have neuropathy in my feel real bad. I can feel it especially when I'm lying down. I take gabapentin for it at night but I don't like to take it in the day because it causes me to be more tired than I am. Without the neuropathy and chronic fatigue I think I could deal with everyday things better. Of course, my lame left leg isn't fun either but with a cane and walker I manage (real) short distances
     
    I'm still optimistic about improving through the years. I think I miss gardening and shopping most. and and and!!!
    Well, that's it for now folks. I finally got this pretty well finished. Oh, I added a recipe to the recipe forum and look forward to doing more. Hugs to all and thank you everyone for being here for me, Leah :hiya:
  2. AZ Leah

    I'm Still Here

    By AZ Leah,

    Hi All: This will be quick because I just wrote a blog update and somehow it got lost. Boy does that p.... me off :Tantrum: To make a long story short we got back from vacation and in the midst of my trying to get back to "normal" and on track , our computer crashed :throw: This has been a month from H...... but I am surviving and am on-line altho everything is not as I am used to. The new office program I had to install looks like greek--give me the OLD stuff for this Old girl.
     
    Anyway I will check in more later but right now I'm more than tired. (The blog that got lost , which I'm sure was my fault somehow, was pretty good I think!). It got lost when I tried to spell-check it and then had to download the spell checker ... and the rest is history.
     
    Hope I can work out my schedule between have-to's and naps to check in more often.
     
    Cherio and hugs to everyone, Leah :giggle:
  3. AZ Leah

    Here We Go Again

    By AZ Leah,

    I think that's a song "Well Here We Go Again" by Dolly Pardon!!! We go to California again Sept 7 for 8 days. This time we are going to fly - nonstop from Tucson to San Diego is only 1 hour and the Tucson airport is small and hassle-free. I've asked for a wheelchair to and from gate. Then we have a shuttle to the rental car. I got great prices on both the airfare and car rental and it sure will make everything easier.
     
    Our destination is Carlsbad again, just an hour north of San Diego. Another timeshare exchange (had it on hold since last year). This one is where we would have preferred to stay in July but it's impossible to get in during the middle of the summer so we jumped at this opening. It's right in the village across from the beach and it will be very convenient for Jerry to walk the beach and me to go to the pool or just sit out in the shade. It's close enough for me to take my walker to a sandwich/yogart place or gift store or full lunch restaurant. More places I can people watch than the last place we were.
     
    Even packing will be simplified and I won't be tempted to throw another bag or book or food or whatever in the car. Last trip we had 3 visits with 3 different couples. This time will be more relaxed because the time will be all ours except we will spend the last night with friends before leaving for the airport on Sept. 15. I always have a tendency to over-pack (a girl thing?). This time I'm limiting myself to a smaller suitcase. A few books, minimal make-up and we're out of here!!
     
    Other than that, I'm status quo. I have a round of dr. appts starting end of Sept. All routine except I'm switching my urologist to see if she can help my incontinence (I hate that word and what it represents). I have never wanted an operation but in this case I would go for it if it would work. I know stroke survivors have problems with this and I had a brain stem stroke. I've done a lot of reading recently about stroke and also some autobiographies written by survivors. It is helping me put some words to what happened the day of and during the first few months of my stroke. They never could give me the reason for my stroke which I understand is pretty common. My neurologist said it might have been my smoking :oohlala: which I quit 10 years pre-stroke. I also read alcohol can hurt the arteries :cocktail: and I haven't had any alcohol in 10 years either sooooo it is a really big ?? :uhm:
     
    The more I know the more confused I get because there is so much to learn but, then again, the more I am grateful and blessed that I have come this far. It's only been 2 years 2 weeks since I returned home and I had to have almost everything done for me. My endurance is a lot better (I nap about an hour/day) but I need to remind myself of the glass half-full on a daily basis.
     
    Going to my work-out this morning, I repeated over and over again all the things I was grateful for to get me out of a self-imposed funk. I am okay now. I used to say I was "lucky". I don't use that word any more; I feel that I am "blessed". Big difference in my eyes. Jerry and I get along good most of the time but once in a while I feel like giving him a knock on the nogin :bop: especially when he gets impatient when I can't get the words out of my mouth fast enough. All in all, we're together almost 25 years and I'm pretty sure that won't change :hug:
     
    Well enough out of me...it was fun using some of these emotions in my blog. Now it's time for a nap :Zzzz:
    Hope everyone has a fun and safe labor day. We're staying on home ground where it's nice and safe.
    Adios for now. Leah **hi**
  4. AZ Leah

    Time for an update

    By AZ Leah,

    I never know how to start an entry so I'll just do it! In July we went to Carlsbad, Ca for 12 day (it's about 450 miles; we drove but stopped half-way). Our condo (a timeshare exchange) was VERY nice with many amenities, a full kitchen, separate bedroom and an ocean view from the balcony. The resort had a work-out room my husband Jerry used daily, a great pool and it was easy for me to get around. I took my walker which worked great when I wanted to go to the pool. I used my cane when we went out for dinner. We were able to visit 3 couples we know, including my best girlfriend and her 4 children, one of which is my godchild. Two are college grads now, and two are in college. The oldest girl is married and we saw her and her husband. We were planning to go to their wedding in June 2006 but I had my stroke and ended up in ICU. The visit with them was the highlight of the trip for me. Jerry wanted to drive home straight-thru so I foolishly agreed. Needless to say, it was awful to be couped in a car for 7 hours, even with stops. My body (and mind) won't do it anymore. At least on an airplane you can stand up and down. It took me a few days to recuperate after we got home.
     
    Since coming home I started working with a trainer with weights and machines twice a week. My left leg may not get better, but I say I will be the strongest lady in Tucson who has a bad left leg!! I am using my walker again at home; it helps with the gait. I use the cane when going in and out of stores, etc., which isn't all that frequently.
    I was going to group pool therapy but the hospital stopped it. There is another place I need to look into but it has been nice not having to drive into town 2x/week. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful I can drive, and Jerry is elated!! :happydance:
     
    I still get fatigued easy and need a nap every afternoon. But it is SO much better than 2 years ago when I needed to sleep the whole afternoon away. I have missed gardening (I cannot get up and down from the floor, cement, what have you without something or someone to hang onto) but I have done some planting in small pots which I have found very enjoyable. I put a piece of large plastic on my kitchen counter, get my small pots and plants out, Jerry gets me potting soil in a small bucket and voil
  5. AZ Leah

    Another Trip!

    By AZ Leah,

    We leave Saturday for a 12 day trip to Carlsbad, CA. Not a bad drive from Arizona and it will be wonderful to get out of the 100+ degree heat. For some reason I am "confused" with my packing this time, maybe because I have been doing too much and am tired - DUH. I will soon have a few days to do NOTHING except look at the ocean, read, do cross-stitch, listen to calm music when my husband isn't in the condo, etc. (he always has the TV on). Well, I was going to write more but we are ready to leave and we are an hour past our projected departure time. So what else is new. I can definitely see the advantage of having a laptop... then I could visit this site every day and get my fill of sane thinking. Maybe by next trip. Adios for now fellow strokers. Hugs, Leah
  6. AZ Leah

    more expectations

    By AZ Leah,

    Just checking in with ME and YOU all after a 2 week trip (only part of it was a real vacation!). We got back April 16 but it takes me a while to get back in my "routine" whatever that is! I keep learning things about this new stroke body of mine. I hope one of these days I can learn to to live within realistic expectations. Our trip to St. Lucia was what I call bitter-sweet. St. Lucia is a gorgeous island not too far north of Venezuela, close to Martinique. It takes a LONG time to get there from Arizona. This year we tried flying to Miami, spending a couple days to see friends, then flying nonstop to St. Lucia from Miami. Tucson to Miami was do-able (a word?) with only a change in Dallas. But Miami to SLU was a different story. What was a 3 hour non-stop flight ended up being 8 hours and there were no delays. Getting to the airport 3 hours ahead of time I think is stupid when you then just get suffled around and wait and wait. Wheelchairs aren't as convenient as they appear when you are hungry and they wheel you past the food court getting to the gate (they don't let you do it alone!). Therefore, we ended up spending 4 days of travel--and sometimes the wheelchair wasn't at the ramp like it was supposed to be which left us disgruntled, inpatient, and eventually tired (at least for me). Of course, the return trip of going through customs and immigration is time-consuming although I must admit it went pretty smooth.
     
    The Windjammer Resort was as beautiful as ever but this time (our 4th year in a row), reality set in. It just isn't disability-friendly and I'm not much better getting around than last year. Walking with a cane and managing steps wears me out just to get to the pool or beach area. I cannot walk in the water because of current; even with Jerry holding my hand. Sand isn't a joy either. I am too unsteady - balance and coordination. So I think that is it for St. Lucia. At least I have some fabulous pictures to look at from time to time.
     
    I faced reality this time (I still cannot swim, which is another topic). I have come to realize it is not good for me to spend time remembering the days gone by. I long to run on the sand again, run into the water and swim or snorkel. I am, however, VERY grateful for what I have done at this resort and many, many other things I have seen and done and places I have gone that some others will never be able to do. I am trying to develop new behaviors - such as gazing at the ocean I love so much and realize I do not need to be at the water's edge. I write this after returning from our trip. When there, I now know that I "stuffed my feelings" so I would not be sad and would not cry. I have lived through another chapter and came out okay. We have a pool at home and we just had railings installed so I can get in and out by myself. I tried it last weekend and it was great. Now I can do some pool therapy at home and float with a noodle. Upon our return I started my hospital pool therapy (1x/wk) and weight training with a trainer 2x/week so I cut one pool and added one weight training. I hope to get stronger which will help my balance. I am thankful for so many things to make this all possible...most of all to have survived my stroke and have the chance to continue living.
     
    I was happy to see you were all here when I signed on. :forgive_me?: Bye for now. Hugs from Leah
  7. AZ Leah
    I've been meaning to do another blog entry since Christmas...I can't believe it is already April 1. My plans of visiting the strokeNet board more frequently have been in vain altho' I have looked around on occasion; I'm just not active. Since we are getting ready to leave on a vacation, what better time to get my "house" in order!
     
    Things have been busy but not really hectic as hectic goes. We have had something going every month, including relatives visiting from out of state 3 different times which usually upsets the apple cart. I have still been doing 3 days of some type of therapy a week and a face-to-face stroke group 1x/month. I don't see the improvements I used to and have gotten discouraged more often. I guess my endurance is better (I still nap more days than not) and I am able to do more around the house. Usually by the weekend I am exhausted and can't do much of anything. My left leg still isn't taking signals from my brain. But who am I to complain; I can hobble around with a cane or walker and I can drive which is really a biggy. Coming from a gal who not quite 2 years ago was in a coma, completely paralyzed and it was iffy if I would live, I know God has given me a miracle. It helps me to help others which I can with my pool therapy just being an example of working hard to improve and keeping as good of an attitude as I can muster up for that day. I silently pass that same message to my work-out club and to others who have know the "old" me and the "new" me. Of course, as we know, others who haven't stroked don't realize the emotional scars we carry.
     
    I'm trying to move slower after falling several times in the house (due to not taking my time), including a week ago when I ended up with a doozy of a black eye, now almost healed. I have been fortunate none of my falls ended up at the hospital...just scared the heck out of me. I can get up by myself now if there is something to hang on to.
    I am also now trying acupuncture. It has helped my back pain but not my leg "yet"? I've had 3 sessions and will keep trying. One thing I love is how serene it makes me feel lying there with calm Chinese music and I cannot feel the needles.
     
    Tomorrow (April 2) we leave on a much needed vacation. Last year we went to our favorite resort on St. Lucia (a small island in the west indies of the Caribbean) but the plane ride of 12 hours was way too much for me. So I didn't think we could return. A few months after being home, I pondered on the HOW we could go. So we are flying into Miami and spending a couple days (we can see friends there) and then flying NON-STOP and only 3 hours to St.
    Lucia. I mailed our income tax returns yesterday (YEH for me, as I am the number person in the family and I am always the one who gathers all the info for our accountant; I am amazed and grateful my brain still is able to do that). I finally am compleley packed. I seemed to have obsessed more over packing this year...don't know why except for last year I was on more pain medication and lorazapam than I am now.
     
    That's all folks for this blog. We have to get up early which I hate. No fretting; pretty soon I can sleep in every day if I want and not feel guilty!! No laptop, so no temptations to play games and such. Adios. :cheer:
  8. AZ Leah
    My last blog entry was Dec 23 and I thought I had it SO together for Christmas Day dinner etc. I rested while Jerry picked up mother-in-law Dec 24; the house was clean and things were about as ready as they could be. We had a very nice dinner out that night and we all settled down for a "long winter's nap" while vision of sugarplums danced in our heads !!! Well Christmas Day didn't turn out as I predicted...I should know better to predict. I forgot that with my stroke I cannot multi-task and I get flustered and stressed with too many people around and too much noise. And..this was the first time I was supposed to be in charge. Of course, Jerry couldn't figure out what was the big deal, etc. etc. I had to end up taking 2 naps I was so fatigued (the stroke kind of fatigue, not the kind "normal" people have). My brother, and his family came about 3:45 and we ate at 4:30. Jerry had finished my green bean casserole for me after I wrote out instructions; I did it in the crock-pot and it worked great. Anyhoo, Dinner was very good and we all pigged out on dessert. There were only 7 of us but for me this year it was hard. I've had holiday dinners before for 12 or more with no trouble. My mother-in-law (remember..age 95!) helped put out relishes and set the table and my niece and her cousin did all clean up. I had to take a short nap after dinner, then got up so we could finish our family celebration. After all, it's not all about me and if I would have had to stay in bed, so be it. In retrospect, I may have done too much. I crashed yesterday and slept til noon. Today I had pool therapy, tomorrow work with a trainer and Sat. get a manicure and hair done to get ready for NY Eve dinner with friends. I will continue to take it a day at a time and next year will take care of itself, as long as I do the footwork. HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL :happy new yea: and the best of health to everyone. I have learned that is the most important thing after God because I must always remember that without Him, I would not be an earthly being. :cloud9: Leah
  9. AZ Leah
    Merry Christmas to me ! My present to myself is my progress. When I look back at last year I can see many improvements so it is obvious that my rehab is paying off. Last year we only had my mother-in-law for dinner and my husband cooked the whole dinner; my 94 year old mother-in-law cleaned up! I didn't invite my brother and his family because I knew I couldn't handle it. I remember sitting in the family room when dinner was being made and crying. I took a lorazapam and went to lay down so I could calm down. My emotions are SO much better...I seldom cry unless there is a real reason.
     
    This year, we didn't have a tree but I was able to decorate the house so it looks Christmasy..the poinsettias really help. My mother-in-law is coming as usual (she is now 95) and I asked my brother and his wife, adult daughter and her cousin. Cards and gifts were kept to a minimum. I even was able to make banana bread and brownies (last week and then refrigerated them) and arranged an easy menu. I made a raspberry jello holiday salad today, I'll make a green bean casserole tomorrow and then things will be easy for Christmas Day. My husband picked up a honeybaked ham (our favorite), croissants from our bakery plus fruit tarts as a special dessert. Since I can stand in the kitchen for quite a while now, I did some other prep work so tomorrow when my mother-in-law comes I can be rested; we are going out for dinner, so I won't have a mess to content with.I can stand in the kitchen for quite a while now. We even have the leafs in the table and the tablecloth on. Jerry has been a godsend. I can tell nowadays he gets a little tired of waiting on me so I need to do what I can for myself and give him a big break. I have learned to pace myself. I will do a chore, rest a while and then do another one. God has helped me with it. I know He saved me and is helping and strengthening me daily. My faith has gotten so much stronger since my stoke - I know I am not alone ever...between this site and my God, I am indeed grateful this holiday season.
     
    Just writing this is helpful for me to know how far I have come and how much I have learned. I am reading Kate Adamson's second book "Paralyzed but now Powerless". It is really good.
     
    We have plans for New Years Eve with 6 other couples we've joined in past years. I have already found a pair of black slacks that fit (all the other are too small - the have stroke/gain weight syndrome) and I had them shortened because I can't wear heals "yet" - maybe never but the jury is still out on that. One day at a time. I repeat that over and over along with the serenity prayer.
     
    Merry Christmas - I hope to blog again shortly after 2008 ring in. :giggle:
  10. AZ Leah
    I told myself I was going to blog before Thanksgiving which now it is the 4th day after turkey day and here I am just doing it now. I never liked to journal which may be one of my hang-ups or blocks about this new blogging phenomena. Anyhoo, things have been same-o-same-o with very small improvements. I only know this because other people notice it when I don't - YEH for the other people. My husband and I took my 95 year old mother-in-law out for turkey day dinner. She lives about an hour away. She can run rings around me. There is nothing medically wrong with her except some eye problems she is getting treatment for. She drives, does her own grocery shopping, cleans her own house which she has lived in for over 30 years and has a memory as sharp as a tack! She was swimming every day (when the temp reached 65 which is most of the time here in Arizona) until 2 years ago. She dresses well and usually has an answer for everything and usually is right (except for my stroke). She told me she thought it would be good for me to march to improve my left leg. Well, dammit I am!! :Tantrum: And get tired of it but do it because I want to get better more than they want me to. Except maybe my husband so I can do as much as I used to .
     
    On thanksgiving we were gone from the house for 6 hours and I was exhausted when we got home. Of course, I had to get ready before we left, so that's anothe 1-1/2 hr.; I had showered the night before. People just don't get it - this stroke fatigue thing we have. I am glad there are all of you here who understand. I know I am not alone and I know I am doing the best I can do...well maybe not every day but I need a few breaks now and then too...As my husband sits and watches football or AMC movies in between folding the wash I started. I don't want you to think I'm on a pity pot; I feel my attitude is pretty good, but I know I am still dealing with acceptance of the loss of the old me. Today my husband showed me an article written about Xmas decorations in NY City which is something I said I had always wanted to see. I looked at him and asked if he would be willing to take me some day in a wheelchair. He said he would. WOW that was BIG. :cloud9: Of course, I hope I get better enough in the future so that wouldn't be necessary but by then we might be too old (I'm 64; he's 70). He is in great shape and works out 5 days a week. I have learned never to complain if he is gone too long. It used to be the other way around; I'd be gone and he'd be home.
     
    Well, enough of my blabbering :yadayada: I want to add a few things I am thankful for which is really what I wanted to blog about to begin with (I can't get used to the word "blog"...who came up with that word anyway. :uhm: First and foremost, I am thankful to be alive, and I am thankful I believe in a God who I feel saved me to continue to live and get better. I am thankful for the progress I have made and for everyone who has helped me and stood by me from family to the nurses, doctors, techs, therapists, friends and most of all my husband Jerry. I owe so much to my physical trainer who is also a friend. When I was cut off from PT, I was not afraid because I knew she was there to help me. I am thankful I can drive and that I have a car all my own. I am thankful I have a one-story houses to live in and flowers to look at. I am thankful that my hands and fingers work now (after my stroke I was almost completely paralyzed). I can work on the computer and even knit and cross-stitch. I am happy to be able to eat and swallow as I still remember the feeding tube. I am grateful I can talk, as I still remember the trachea. And I can walk slowly from room to room in the house and can get up and down by myself. I can even roll over in bed. I am grateful for this website to give me a forum to express myself and occasionally chat and help others. One goal of mine is to somehow free up some time to visit the website more often so I can help others more.
    I could go on and on because there is so much more. I am thankful for my faith and the hope I have that I am going to get better. Faith and hope keep me from being depressed.
     
    Thank you everyone for being here for me; I will try to be here for you more often.
    Hugs to all, Leah from sunny Arizona :hug: :giggle:
     
  11. AZ Leah

    Leah's update

    By AZ Leah,

    It's been over a month since I started this blog and I am WAY overdue for an update. It helps me to know if I am growing forward or backward and right now I feel like I'm going backward. But this too shall change. Our trip to Carlsbad, California, was bittersweet for me. I had to adjust once again to life after stroke and go through another level of acceptance that I could not walk down the steps to the beach or walk to dinner and stroll through the village in the evening. We rented a wheelchair (a first for me) so Jerry pushed me to dinners so we didn't have to take the car all the time. I didn't venture out with it on my own. We also visited with old friends which was wonderful and that is what really counts when all is said and done. The place we stayed had a pool with a railing so Jerry helped me get in the first time so I could do some pool therapy (just walking and marching- good exercise) .I found I was able to then get in and out by myself. Unfortunately I only used it twice as there were too many kids around.
     
    The trip tired me out more than I thought it would (we drove from Tucson- 4 hours a day) We had been home for a week and I was still recuperating when my sisters flew in from Michigan and Kentucky and stayed with us for a week. It was wonderful to see them and they were so happy to see the progress I have made (They were last here in June 2006 and I was in a medically-induced coma; I didn't remember anything about that month). With my brother here in Tucson we alll drove up the Catalina Mts. about 20 min. from our house to about 5,000 feet and scattered our mother's ashes. She had died in 2005 and this was the first time we were all together. I'm going to put a picture of us "kids" in my gallery. We also had a nice lunch with two of my angels - Sandra and Jane who have been by my side since this life changing expterience, called a stroke.
     
    As of last week I am back to pool therapy and Wed. started again with my trainer. I feel like I have slid backwards since not exercising. My left leg is weaker again and I still am so tired. Thank God I can live life a day at a time because right now that is what I am doing. I had a good experience last week in pool therapy and met a woman who had a stroke 3 years ago. She and I have a lot in common and it is nice to share with someone who really understands. It also gives me another incentive to go to pool even if I don't want to. Today is Friday...I started this on Tues. and I am taking a day to relax and recharge.
     
    I'm going to sign off now; will do more at a later date and hopefully learn how to add a couple pictures to my alubum.
  12. AZ Leah

    Leah's vacation

    By AZ Leah,

    Well, here goes nothing! I am just starting my blog today and I'm not sure what all a blog is for but I get the general drift! I stroked on May 24, 2006. and was in the hospital in rehab when 2 weeks later I had a large (aren't they all large?) brainstem stroke on June 7, 2006. "They were losing me" so I was put in a medically-induced coma and tubed. To make a long story short, it was pretty apparent I was going to make it after all, after hundreds of prayers from family, friends and people I didn't know, and so I was given a trachea and feeding tube and on July 7 taken off the ventilator. I did intensive rehab and then went home August 15, 2006, followed by intensive therapy, PT, OT, and speech. As they say, I've come a long way, baby. My biggest problems are walking (my left leg is bad, use a cane and limp; can hobble but not go far) and fatigue among other things.
     
    I didn't know where else to put this, but my husband and I are taking our first driving vacation this Thursday from Tucson, Arizona, to Carlsbad, California. We rented a one bedroom with kitchen on the bottom floor with it's own small patio. My husband can watch the beach and I can be independent during the day. I took a deep breath and admitted I needed more help, so we are renting a wheelchair so we can go places in town without getting in the car. Six months ago I would have broken down and cried all week if I thought I was going to need a wheelchair. I need to add that my husband has been my #1 angel and caregiver through all of this.
     
    Anyway, I do not have a laptop so will be away from the stroke board and I will definitely miss it. It may be a reason in the future to get a laptop. We are both retired and my stroke has put a dent in our traveling plans (I am grateful to be here, though, and not on the "other side"). So I shall end this first Leah blog and will check on all the posts when we return Sept 4. Keep up the spirits...I will. I am going to take my God with me - I know all will be good :giggle:
  13. AZ Leah

    Day #3

    By AZ Leah,

    I want to thank everyone who has given me support while Jerry is gone. Today is Day #3 and I am doing just fine. I went into chat on Fri. and then again today. I've also talked with some friends each day. Yesterday was busy...actually too busy. I had my hair done, had an hour workout with weights and machines and then a manicure. WHEW I was pooped when I got home but it made for a very good nap. Today I am still tired and feel a little disjointed. I ran a load of wash, tried to do a little on our tax return (didn't get far with that), made a cinamon streudel quick bread (I felt like something yummy) and read some. I have 10 more minutes until the bread is done and then I will try to nap.
     
    I had plans to have lunch with a lady friend tomorrow but I don't feel like it now - I'll just wait until tomorrow. She is the type of friend who won't get ticked off if I cancel. I told you I would let you know how I was with Jer gone and I really am fine (only got weepy once for a VERY short time -deep breathing worked to get me out of it). I'm not sorry I'm not on the beach; I would probably still be resting from the long flight. Opps, the oven is calling me. Hugs from Leah :friends:
  14. AZ Leah

    Vacation for Leah

    By AZ Leah,

    We leave bright and early tomorrow (Friday, Aug 21) for California. We fly into San Diego if we can manuver both the wheelchair and walker. It's a transport wheelchair and too small for me to carry the walker on my lap. But tonight Jerry rigged it to fit on the handlebars of the wheelchair so he can push me. That took some thinking (LOL) When there is a will there is a way and I'm glad Jerry helped with this "small" dilemma. We'll be renting a car, spending a night in a motel about 45 min no. then the next day drive another hour to visit my ex-stepdaughter (who is only 7 years younger than me). Her dad and I met 40 years ago and Vicki's "baby" is now 40. She has always called me grandma even after a divorce 30 years ago. Thus, her 3 children call me grandma too. My other ex-stepdaughter (6 years younger) will also be there with one of her kids and 2 grandchildren. Of course, all the spouses will be there too. I started getting overwhelmed tonight over how many people will be there. I know them all well and have seen them often I can't help my anxiety since my stroke. They, of course, know all about it but, as you all know, not everybody "gets it". I know I'll have to lay down during their visit. I really am honored that they all want to see me and for 6 of them it's not real close.
     
    Now for the real fun...on Sunday we check into a beautiful condo in Carlsbad Village with a ocean view from the balcony. I need the R&R and respite from the AZ heat. I think this is what the doctor ordered!! I will also get to see my best CA friend and her 24-yr old daughter Leah, my goddaughter, and her 3 siblings. I'll post some pictures after we return.
     
    I don't have a laptop so will MIA for a while thinking of you as I gaze at the ocean and sunsets. Leah
  15. AZ Leah
    The luncheon I had in honor of Jerry's one year passing was wonderful. Just 4 friends with a lot in common and we shared and smiled and laughed. No somber thoughts. Three days later I developed a pinched nerve in my left hand. It hurt so much I cried; it affected my ring finger and middle finger which are connected by the same ligaments and nerves. I went to the doctor and he ordered a wrist splint for me which went around my thumb and had a metal brace inside the split which kept the nerves straight. This, once again, put my work-out on hold for 10 days. I started again on Monday and now have a cold. I am still walking upright with my walker and haven't lost too much strength. I know I'll be okay next week, God willing. I got a couple Thanksgiving cards off to distance siblings. I wish I was there but even if the move would be too hard, the weather in MI and IN wouldn't be my choice. We talk evey week on the phone and I get to see my brother and his family on occasion. My brother was going to bring my new great-nephew over, but now with the cold, I'm said NO NO. I'm going to add another blog from a card I got. Happy Thanksgiving everyone, especially the new people. I'm six years and "going somewhat strong". I will NOT give up.
    Leah