AZ Leah

Very clever, Sue. I just got through emailing Lin to get a copy of the Nov. newsletter which I missed reading. I told her I wanted to get back into strokenet and seem to be at a loss of words as to what my problem is. It seems that since I was diagnosed early in 2010 with spinal stenosis I feel I don't belong in "stroke" anymore. That is very irrational thinking. I stroked in June 2006, almost died and know I have a lot to share. Tomorrow I have 2 tests at my dr.s clinic and another dr. appt Fri, but I am now going to do my "homework" per teacher Sue and read all the blogs since Dec. 12 and blog back comments plus some of my original thoughts. I've always said God works in mysterious ways! Hugs to all. Leah

HUGS HELP ANYONE ANYWHERE WHETHER IN PAIN OR JOY. I HAVE BEEN DEPENDING UPON MY ANGELS SENT BY GOD TO HELP ME KEEP GOING EVERY DAY. IT ALSO HELPS KEEPING ME OUT OF DEPRESSION AND TO LIVE EACH DAY AT A TIME. I PRAYED TODAY WOULD BE BETTER JUST SO I WASN'T IN AS MUCH PAIN TO TAKE A SHOWER AND GO HAVE MY HAIR WASHED. MY ANGELS LISTENED AND CAME TO MY HELP...TODAY I HAD A LITTLE RESPITE. THANK YOU SUE FOR YOUR CONCERNS. HUGS LEAH :forgive_me?:

Hi all: Wanted to check in to let you know I'm still trying. My 3rd epidural didn't work and the pain in my right leg is really bad in spite of pain pils. I have a condult Nov. 1 with the M.D. who has done my epidurals. I am not willing to go on for a year with this pain. Epidurals are hit and miss. I called my Primary care (neurologist wouldn't get back to me) and asked about a small increase in dose and he wants to see me tomorrow "about the epidural" whatever that means. I hope he is an advocate of surgery. I found a good neurosurgeon who has helped a friend of mine immensely - pain gone. I realize nothing is for sure. So my stroke rehab has gone slow and slower with this other problem. Darn, it sure doesn't help my positive attitude. So I continue to pray and read spiritual books and look in strokenet. DONATE DONATE DONATE. My motto, Steve. Leah

I know there are a lot of wonderful books which address stroke or related feelings or life in general. A friend of mine recently gave me "I will not die an unlived life - Reclaiming Purpose and Passion"by Dawna Markova. It addresses many areas of reminding you of who you are and healing your life. It teaches how to navigate our lives rom the inside out rather than being at the mercy of life's changes and also deals with negative emotions of years gone by. It certainly has helped me when I am in a negative, despondent place that we all face from time to time after a stroke. Another little useful book is "Attitudes of Gratitude" - I read a passage every night and it puts my mind right where is is supposed to be. Yeh for gratitude altho' I don't feel that way every day. There is always tomorrow. I also learned I can start my day over at any time ! Hugs to you all, Leah

WAY TO GO GIRL :happydance: I looked at the Cincinnati web site to vote again and couldn't find any reference :yeahrite: I'm happy you let us all know the results - 7 to 1 - that is way cool !! Keep us posted on what your "make-over" will be all about. You are stronger and braver than you think you are !! Hugs, Leah

Dearest Asha: I wouldn't want to follow in your shoes. You have been a wonderful blog moderator and were always there for all of us. Many volunteer jobs are thankless ones so I hope you know how much everyone, especially bloggers, appreciate all you have done. I'm happy you will still be around so we can enjoy your wisdom and humor. BTW, I have another good book for you. I'll post it in the blog comunity so I can share with all. I will always remember some of the spiritual books we shared a few years ago which I am sure helped us both on this mysterious path. You are a courageous, smart and brave young lady (I can say that since I'm now 67!) It is where our hearts are and how we give to others which makes a difference on this road called life. :hug: Love to you, Leah

Hey Mike: Thanks for the idea for a helmet but it would mess up my hair. LOL :happydance: Leah

Hi Stessie - I voted today and will every day until the voting ends. You are definitely an inspiration for me. It is terrible dealing with another illness - stroke can be a full-time job. I know mine is (May & June 2006). I feel I keep going backwards because of falls but each time I learn something and have gain spirituality along the way. Earlier this year I was diagnosed with spinal stenosis and the pain in my legs- has made it impossible to keep up my therapy the way I had. Had 3rd epidural this week. In case you didn't read it my last fall (and I hope LAST) was Aug 3 and I cracked 3 ribs one of which punctured my lung, collapsing it and I had to have a chest tube put in. My breathing is still shallow ... but I've been there before when I first had my stroke. So one day @ a time and I do the footwork and let God do the rest. I HOPE YOU WIN. I love your picture and your video. :You-Rock: Hugs, Leah

Hi Mike: Ditto to everything you said. I have learned to always have one hand free which makes it inconvenient to carry things, set the table etc. I have a rollator walker (4 wheel) which has a seat and then a basket. Don't use the basket too much cause I usually have things on the seat which means I can't get to the basket? I always carry my cell phone and water and at least one book. By planning ahead I can make less trips. I have a little notebook in my walker pocket too and when I think of another grab bar or anything else to make my life easier and safer, I write it down. My epidural is still settling in, I have an appt with a pulmonologist Wed. and then I'll see how I feel to go to my trainer for some light training. C U later! Leah

Thanks Sue: We have made fall risk home improvement every year too. I know we will add more grab bars but I'm not sure where yet. I'm good about lights and for now am tethered to my walker!! :bungee: :bungee: Take care. Hugs back to you, Leah :giggle:

Hi all: :cheer: After my fall and hospitalization we looked to see how we could have prevented it (it happened in the middle the night…we do have a nightlight). The bed we have is one of those high pillow-top mattresses. We had it rigged it so I could get in and out with a railing to help pull me up and my walker right by the edge of the bed. However, If I sat on the edge of the bed, my feet didn’t reach the floor so I kinda’ had to slide down.. We should have paid attention to this before; in fact after my stroke a person from out-patient therapy came over to check out the safety of the house and she should have remarked on the height of the bed. It has worked for 4 years, but it really was an accident waiting to happen. To solve this problem between Jerry and our trusty handiman, we removed the boxsprings. Then a platform was built to put the mattress on. I can now sit on the edge of the bed and my feet touch the floor which enables my walker to be an inch away. We also had 3 more grab bars installed (we already had them around the toilets, the shower, and going into the garage). I will continue to look for areas in the house where grab bars are needed. When in the hospital I had a yellow wrist band that said “fall risk”. I now had it on my walker! My balance is a little better since I’ve been home but I am taking nothing for granted. In 15 minutes we are off to the pain clinic for my epidural. I pray it works. God is in charge. Hugs, Leah :giggle:

Hi Sue: I love your posts. It's like sitting down and talking with you. You write with a comfortable way with words. Life has a lot of ups and downs as we caregivers and survivors definitely know, as well as "normal" folk. In the long-run I think we will be "judged" on how we treat others, not how we look, but how sincere our heart is. Thank God we only have to do this a day @ a time. Don't worry about tomorrow because it will take care of itself. Hugs, Leah :giggle:

Thank you Fred :forgive_me?: ...you are one Tuff Saint too. What does God want from us!! I am determined to make more of my life than it is right now. I pray that you pain lessens. Take care yourself and it is good to be missed somewhere!. Next blog will be what changes we made in the house, especially the bedroom so this NEVER happens again. Hugs, Leah

Sue: I am the survivor but can identify with everything you wrote both for me and my husband. I printed it out so I can read it again and show it to my husband. Caregivers do not have an easy job that is for sure. Your life changed at the same time as Rays. Marriage says for better or worse but I'm sure my husband didn't realize what it might mean. You are one strong, courageous, spiritual soul who has a lot of wise words for all of us. :forgive_me?: Hugs Leah

HI FELLOW SURVIVORS: After quite a while, I finally got it “together” enough for a biog entry to let you know where I’ve been. On August 3 in the middle of the night I got up to go to the bathroom. I don’t know what I hit on the way down but I broke 3 ribs one of which punctured my right lung. After an ambulance ride and many tests, the dr. said I had pneumothorax (i.e. collapsed lung which created air between the lung and chest wall. He inserted a chest tube in my lung to drain out the air and fluid. This also had caused pneumonia. I was placed on antibiotics, monitored, x-rayed daily, and the chest tube came out in about a week (I have a lot of memory blocks during that week due to meds). My next stop was rehab to get me breathing better and walking again with my walker. I arrived home Thurs Aug 26 - tired, sore and in need of much rehab to get back to where I was even a year ago. I don't know if I can do it so...back to one day @ a time. To top it off my spinal stenosis has crept back in. I’ve been in quite a bit of pain but being careful not to overdue any pain meds. (My 3rd epidural was supposed to be the day after I ended up in the hospital.) I need to remember not to have high expectations, try to stay positive and pray that God will give me a sign for when and what the next step will be. As I was drafting this bog I received a call from the pain clinic for my next epidural (a sign from God?) which is Sept 9. I hope it relieves the pain this time and then I will get back to my two trainers. Till then I’m trying to do some at-home exercises. I can only pray and do the best I can do each day. The following was in my reading for today: “I have been through the valley of weeping, the valley of sorrow and pain; But the God of all comfort” was with me, at hand to uphold and sustain. As the earth needs the clouds and the sunshine, our souls need both sorrow and joy; So He Places us oft in the furnace, the dross from the gold to destroy. When He leads thro’ some valley of trouble, His omnipotent hand we trace; For the trials and sorrows He sends us are part of His lessons in grace.” I miss you all and am looking forward to joining chat on occasion. Hugs Leah PS: A "new" Strokenet member "Grumpy" is my ex-husband's ex-son-in-law!! Small world, huh.

:Tantrum: THIS MAKES ME SICK. I HAD A WHOLE POST WRITTTEN. AND I TRIED TO PUT IN A PICTURE AND I LOT EVERYTHING. WELL, The crux of the matter is we leave Sat for Phoenix for a week and I plan to meet Kimmie Anderson. Hopefully she can re-introduced me to the "new" stroke website. New things are hard for old birds like me to learn. Move later. Love ya all , Leah :friends:

Fred: As you have said we get in trouble with ourselves when we project. For us, expectations shouldn't be a word. My rehab has been up and down for 4 years now. I used to use my cane for almost everything but now I'm back to the walker. As long as I don't fall I'll try to keep things in perspective and like in the NOW. Tomorrow tho I'm going to work out - don't know if Jerry will go or not which is OK. I can drive (grateful for that), then when I get to the gym I call them and they come and get me so I'm safe. I don't have an electric wheelchair and don't know if that day will come or not. Anyhoo, your attitude is one we all can learn from. Keep it up. God will let us know when we are needed more up there then down here!! :giggle: LEAH