GeorgeLesley

The news of the day is very bad indeed. We have a raging forest fire north of us. Over 55,000 acres have burnt so far, many homes, cabins. and resorts gone. We have friends that have had to evacuate and may not have a house to return to. The fire is about 20 miles from us at present. We have packed both cars for quick evacuation if needed. Last night I video'ed the entire house and contents. We had ash all over the property. Thankfully the winds died down, and the immediate threat seems to have subsided. The fire has been overshadowing everything else around here. Our little county will not be the same in my lifetime. Some outfitters and resorts will not survive. Even when the fire is out, customers will not come to cabins surrounded by burned forest. We are a tourist town that will be very hard hit by this. Very, very sad. All started apparently by an unattended campfire. On a brighter topic, Tippy is becoming more settled everyday. She now sleeps most of the night without crying or needing to go out. She will be a great dog for us. We are learning the signs and times for a quick trip outdoors. She and our Bichon Jasmine now play together without problems. In the next week I will report on my progress, much to report, but today just isn't the day for it.

Training Tippy is my new fulltime job. When she is not sleeping, I am busy. She and Jasmine are learning to get along, hopefully pictures attached. Night time is a real challenge. She goes into the crate, protests vigorously for 10 minutes or so, then quiet. Last night I tried to put down pads with attractant scent on them in our bathroom to avoid taking her outside. She woke me up about three hours into my sleep. Into the bathroom we went. She licked my feet and laid down on the pads. Twenty minutes later, I gave up, back into the crate, 10 more minutes of protest, then quiet. No potty. Had I put her on the carpet there would have been a potty for sure. Repeated process at 2AM. Same result. Finally at 530AM I took her out after 7 1/2 hours, potty. So much for her having to go every two hours. Except for night time she does not go into the crate. Our breeder was really against it, and I fear if I tried to force her into the crate all the time, she will come to hate it. Plus, her and Jassie need to learn to get along, so I just watch her very closely all day. Any triggering event ( awakening after sleep, after play time, eating, drinking, etc) we go outside immediately. After two days she now knows her name and the word "come". I know the way to the potty area well. I can only type this because both dogs are asleep at my feet. If they were awake, I would be busy. My stroke rehab has now taken a back seat to Tippy training. I will exercise on the days when Lesley is home. Otherwise, Tippy is my exercise. She is a sweetheart, and lots of fun to have around. More later, time for Tippy to pee pee.

As I try to type this, Tippy is laying beside me wanting some affection. She has already won our hearts. Our other dog Jasmine, a Bichon, is a bit jealous, but the two of them are starting to get along after a day together.I suspect in a few days they will be fine together. They had a great time playing outside together today. A few thoughts on the recovery process. Some will not agree with me. What I am going to say may apply only to me. I do not know if my experiences are typical. The severity of the stroke is different for all of us. Insurance coverage, energy levels, age, caregiver status, many other things affect recovery. None the less, I have come to believe for me at least, there are some truths. One is nothing comes easy. It is all hard work. Two: each provider or therapist you use has their bias and way of doing things they are used to. They can only take you so far. I have gone to some therapists who wanted me to do certain exercises I wound up not doing at that time for various reasons, such as didn't see need, hurt too much, couldn't do exercise effectively, too many exercises to do every day, etc. I now find myself doing some of those same exercises I wouldn't/couldn't do earlier for other therapists. Each therapist can only do for you what they are trained in. There is so much available now no one therapist can know it all. Examples: while in the rehab hospital, the Saeboflex was not offered to me nor was Graston Technique or myofacia release. Yet this is the same hospital I went to for each of these treatments. These treatments have mostly eliminated my muscle spasity, but the doctor that treated me in that hospital told me he had nothing more to offer me for muscle relief other than more pills. Just because they work under the same roof is no guarantee they all know what each one does or can do. Bottom line: This stroke rehab is a tough deal. It is up to you to manage your own rehab. You must do the research appropriate to your needs. You must be willing to try things not commonly known. Example: the active release I presently go to Canada twice a week for. What may not have worked for you in the past may work for you in the future. I have had such experiences recently. There is no one looking out for your total need except you and your caregiver. I just can't stress enough how true I believe this is. If you are expecting one doctor or therapist to make you better, good luck. It takes a team, and you are the coach. It is possible my experiences are atypical and my not apply to others. However, having talked to many stroke survivers lead me to believe otherwise. Well, I must give Tippy her nighttime run before bed now, so away I go.

Donna, Wolves are not a great threat, especially with a dog handy, although a healthy wolf could easily handle any domestic breed dog. The spray should hopefully be effective on any animal. I may be a bit over cautious, but when it's you and the animals in the woods, you want to be careful. Having said that, in over 40 years in the woods around here, I have only seen a few wolves and a bear or two. Did have a moose and two calves walk thru Lesley's and my camp early one morning a few years ago. Woke us right up.

Well just an update on our life. The active release continues, more tomorrow and Thursday. My range of motion for the left arm has dramatically improved. Pain is way down, but the bad news is that arm strength is not what I want it to be. I can reach up high, but don't have the strength to lift much more than a coffee cup up high. I really want to work on that, but am afraid I will hurt the shoulder again if I try too hard. So now it is a waiting game, waiting for the shoulder to strengthen with the light exercises I now do until I can add more weight bearing exercises. Rather like which came first, the chicken or the egg. If I don't work the shoulder it won't get stronger, but if I work it too hard, it will get sore again. Sigh. The good news is that both legs have gotten much stronger. I can now walk quite a distance with a normal gait, and don't have to think about it too much anymore. The foot no longer turns inward, and doesn't drag unless I get tired or lazy. My friend "Mike" (a stroke survivor) has ridden his bike 7 miles non-stop. He signed up for a 25 mile tour in August. Lesley and I plan to go there and cheer him on. I picked up the canoe yesterday again, but am not happy with how I do it. Must work on my technique some more. Mike got after me and told me to get out there and practice more. I will. Fishing season opens in two weeks, I must get stronger. I will. A change on "Tippy" our new puppy. Lesley really wanted the tri-color female. I finally agreed, and we will pick her up in a week or so, she is ready now (two months old). Same name, it is a more female sounding name anyway. Dickons, you will still get a picture. We have been busy puppy proofing the house, cords, etc. Lesley already has a list of "must haves" at the pet store next time in Duluth. This will be one spoiled dog. We changed because we already have a female Bichon that has been fixed, and we were concerned that even "fixed" a male might still get interested. Also, due to the "plumbing", when a girl puppy has an "accident" at least it is confined to the area directly under it. When a boy has an "accident", it can be wherever they raise their leg, not always a good thing in the house. Anyway, the breeder was quite cooperative and helpful. Anyway, I also am excited to be getting Tippy and have a companion to go out with me into the woods when Lesley is not available and hopefully Tippy will eventually be canoe trained for fishing. I will feel a bit more secure walking alone in the woods with a good sized dog along. Black bears really don't like dogs and will stay away. Tippy will alert me to any other dangers out there, some of which are more concerning to me now. The wolves have been getting a bit more aggressive lately and a few cougars have been reported in the area. I do plan to carry "bear spray" from now on, it is a super can of high powered mace. Hopefully that and a dog will keep me safe, running is no longer an option. The threats really aren't that bad, but I am more aware of them than previously. Must start my exercises now, today is a full workout day.

Hopefully attached are two pictures of Lesley holding Tippy at age two weeks. We made a long trip to see Tippy yesterday. It was a 250 mile trip one way, Lesley was so pumped up she drove all 500 miles of the trip in our new Honda. She is still grinning from ear to ear. She was in her glory with new puppies all around her. Tippy's mother and father were there and are beautiful, lovely dogs. Tippy comes from good stock. We are now busy "puppy proofing" the house. Hiding wires, shoes, etc. I told Lesley that in spite of our best efforts he will find something to chew up that will distress us. Expect it. Anyway, we will probably get him the first part of June. Dickons will get her picture then. A side story to the name Tippy. I grew up in Indiana and am well familiar with Tippicanoe and Tyler too. Thanks again Dickons for a great name that means more to us than you ever could have guessed. Away to Canada again tomorrow for another Active Release treatment. Shoulder continues to improve. I have been taking an anti-inflammatory med for shoulder inflammation. It is much better now, hopefully I can start more strengthening exercises soon. I did check the left leg against my good right leg a few days ago. The exercise I am doing with the left leg is up to 150 lbs, the right leg could hardly do it at all. Looks like the left leg has nearly completed it's comeback. I am now doing both legs to equally strengthen them. A beautiful day here, saw our first robin today. Lesley is away getting Jasmine our Bichon groomed, I must start my exercises.

Just a bit more on the active release. Shoulder pain is way down. Stopped one muscle relaxer completely, cut other one by 1/3, plan to phase it out over next few weeks. Upper arm a bit tight in mornings, but stiffness goes away with a bit of exercise. Good reminder. Next treatment is Thursday. Talked to my OT in Duluth today, she is interested in learning Active Release. Don't know if a sublaxated shoulder would rule this treatment out Vi, I would ask an Active Release therapist. We are off to Bemidji, Minnesota today to see the new puppy. Can't bring him home, but Lesley just can't wait to see him. We have considered all the great names suggested here and the names of my previous dogs. All sound neat, but we are only getting one dog (for now anyway). And the winner of the "Name the puppy contest" is: ta ta!! Dickons! We both found the name "Tippy" catchy and cute, so "Tippy" he shall be. And your prize Dickons: ta ta!! A hearty Thank You!! And an autographed picture just for you when available.

Thanks to all for the suggestions for naming our new puppy. The name will be announced soon....

Dickons, There has been no manipulation of my spine, but I cannot say there never would be. I suggest you share the doctors concerns with the Active Release therapist. As far as it has been done to me, primarily shoulder and upper arm/back, no spinal manipulation needed. Hope this helps.

The Active Release therapist just left a few minutes ago. I got an in home session and will see him again next Thursday in Canada. The therapy is really focused on the problem areas of the shoulder. The range of motion has dramatically improved with this therapy. There is discomfort during the therapy but it stops immediately after the session is over. I can tell we are really working on the exact muscles that need the work. I can feel the muscles release and lengthen during the treatment. I had already done a full days exercise before he came, so am taking the rest of the day off. I would recommend this treatment to any with shoulder impingement, or frozen shoulder issues or muscle spacisity problems. It has given me enough range of motion so that I am actually using the arm again, and with what the Saeboflex has done for my hand, I can now force the arm to be a functional limb again. It is amazing how many bad and compensating habits I am having to unlearn. There is still shoulder pain, but considerably less than before. I have also been able to reduce the muscle relaxers I have been taking. Stopped one completely, gradually reducing the other. Not everything I have tried has worked, but this one is. We reserved the spaniel puppy today. As soon as it is old enough, we'll get it. About 7 weeks to go. It is a male, still deciding on a name. Any suggestions? It will be mostly black and some white when grown. I am thinking maybe Spot, but open to almost anything. We finally agreed on which one to get. We are getting the smaller one I wanted, mainly because it will be a smaller adult. I gave Lesley the choice, and she decided smaller was better. We would like to have some bed left for us.

Dickons, I agree that many factors can lead us to living a life of stress. Just living life itself can do it. Genes, environmental factors, education, how we were raised, many other things. Very good point. My point however is that we can each make our own decisions about this. My father was an alchoholic. It eventually claimed his life. Many on his side of the family are or were. I am probably predisposed to being one if I choose to be. I could use that fact as a crutch if I wanted to. I used to drink far too much in my younger years. Finally realized I was going down the same road. Quit cold turkey. Not a drink for 25 years. I choose not to be an alchoholic. Thanks for the point. I don't go to meetings or any support group. I just quit. Period. I understand that not doing something if we were raised that way or used to doing it that way is difficult to change. But it can be done if we want to do it bad enough.

Well, some great news from my friend "Mike" a survivor I met in rehab. Mike was an avid bike rider prior to his stroke. While in rehab I dreamed of carrying my canoe again, and "Mike" dreamed of riding his bike again. When I called yesterday, he was bursting to tell me he rode his bike. He rode it about a mile. Not as far or as fast as he wanted, but he rode it. I suspect the race he and I are planning down our driveway this summer might be tough for me to win. All in all a great week for both of us. I am still disappointed that the canoe carry was not as easy as I had hoped, but I know it will soon get better. Dickons has given us a great new topic to talk about. Stress. Anyone else out there ever feel any stress? Stress is a mind function we can ultimately control with practice. We know that physical issues require time, practice, patience. We are told that the brain is growing new pathways and neurons to reprogram itself after a stroke to replace that which was lost. We don't like it, but we accept it. The mind is part of the brain, right? It took however many years we have been around to arrive at the place where we are physically. It took the same number of years for us to arrive where we are mentally. All of the stories I have told here that affected my life took time and practice to implement. Some are still a work in progress. We were not born a worry wort. We had no stress when we were born. It is learned behavior. It took many years to develop these worry habits, it will take time to overcome and change them. It will take practice and effort. I think because it is a thought process we expect immediate results. Not going to happen. All of us know someone who has had a "conversion" experience of some sort or another. Such people often claim a miraculous change in their personality. The core of that person is still there. If they had anger management issues before, they likely still will. If they smoked, drank or anything else, it probably is not far from the surface. True complete instaneous mental changes are possible, but quite rare. Just as there is no magic pill to fix the physical maladies a stroke causes, there is no such pill or therapy for the mental stress living life can cause, even without a stroke. Earlier in my blog I stressed to please start at the beginning and not skip any steps to my mind cleaning plan. I repeat that request. You can't read the last chapter in the book and expect it to stand on it's own. You must follow each step in order, and not progress to the next step until you have mastered the one you are on. Some of the steps will come easy, some hard. Takes time and work. Some parts may never be completely mastered to perfection, we are human. Several years ago my late wife and two best male friends all told me within a few months of each other, all without the others knowing what they told me, that I had a tendency to be overbearing and intimidating. After the third person told me that, all of them important people in my life that I respected, I finally realized there must be something to it. First, that I was blessed to have three people in my life that would be that honest with me. Then I had to admit to something I really didn't want to face up to. Since that time I have worked very hard to soften the personality and talk less and listen more. It is still a work in progress and I work on it everyday. You will have to do the same on whatever mind adjustments you need to make. Start small, grow into it as you can, just like the PT & OT we all know so well. You will fail sometimes, and it will hurt sometimes. The result of a happier you will be worth the effort. About the dog(s). Well, since we already have one, our Bichon, I think two more would just be too much right now. One more is probably enough. Lesley disagrees. Oh well. The Active Release therapy continues Sunday. The therapist is coming to the house for an in home session. I will report next week on the results.

We have decided to get a springer spaniel puppy. I grew up with a spaniel and would love to have one to walk with us in the woods. We found a breeder in MN we feel good about. He has two pups we are interested in. As always, Lesley prefers one and I prefer the other. We invited our neighbor lady over last night for a meal and movie. We showed her the pics and she naturally preferred the one Lesley likes. I then employed a man's favorite two words "yes dear". Either one will get us out of the house more and help us be more active, as spaniels require lots of exercise. Sorta sounds like me. Anyway probably have it in a month or so. Will try to post a pic when we get it. Want to pick up on a topic hostsue started on her blog about well meaning friends. We are facing a similar situation with mom in New Zealand. She is 84, in good health, but a widow. Lesley is an only child. Ultimately, her care if needed will be our responsibility. If we had to put her in a nursing home in New Zealand, that would be devastating for all concerned. Thus, we have started the process to get her over here in MN as a legal alien permanent resident. Homeland security has approved her as Lesley is an American citizen and can sponsor her. We are now in the final stages of the process. Mom would prefer to stay in NZ, and have the one son of Lesley with his two lovely daughters live with her until she dies. They have moved out, she didn't like it, but he has a life too. A new lady has entered his life and being on his own became important to him. Anyway, now that you know the story you will appreciate this part. The same people that caution us to not move her away from what she knows and likes, these are the same people that would criticize us if we had to put her in a nursing home in NZ alone. They would then tell us how terrible we are. We understand the point, but like the other possibilities less. Until a person has walked in your shoes and knows the entire story, I don't place much stock in what they say. We must bring her over once she passes her medical exam within six months. We must do all of this while she can still pass a medical exam. If we wait and her medical condition deteriorates, we will have no options left. Hostsue, do what is best for you and Ray. My coffee cup is empty again and Lesley just got up, so I must go.

Phyllis, The opomologist can give you reversal drops to speed recovery from pupil dialation. You may have to ask for them, we did, but they have them.

Dickons, I don't know much about it, but I have read about and seen machines that help you regulate your breathing and allegedly thus relieve stress. I do believe that a proper breathing rate will help, there are probably some therapists that can help. Regulating and cleaning the mind is every bit as difficult as the other therapies we go thru. Practice, practice, practice, just like everything else. Just like we practice to get our brain to do physical acts, we must practice mind control the same way. Start with a very simple thing, like maybe what you will have for supper, don't expect instant results anymore than you would from PT, then graduate up to bigger things as you can.

I have already started a topic on this, but this is important. Anything that helps us get better needs to be told. Today we went to Thunder Bay, Canada for my first Active Release therapy. It immediately increased my range of motion for my left arm. It is not without discomfort. The therapist told me because we had come so far (75 miles) and were paying ourselves and he noticed I am pretty pain tolerant, he would do more than usual on the first treatment. He actually gave me only two new exercises to do. He told me that most of my improvement would come from the time in his office. It is not OT or PT or myofacia release or anything like a message. Obviously I don't know if it works for anyone else, but it might just be worth a try. Go to www.activerelease.com to find a provider near you. My search continues, and I am more convinced than ever that each treatment has it's limits and when they are reached, time to move on. I shall continue to do so. Another treatment I have mentioned previously is the Graston technique. www.grastontechnique.com. The OT in Duluth did it on my hand and shoulder. It helped. I watched her do it on my hand, no reason I can't do it myself. I have started it. Probably not doing it as well as my OT, but it has helped already. I plan to do it every few days myself. It seems like a crazy simple treatment, but it helps. It costs me nothing to do myself at home. I know some of you are well adjusted to your situation, but some of this stuff I am finding really seems to work, is affordable, and I'll be happy to talk to any of you about any of this.

Lesley now reports that the body parts she helped handle last night were those of an itinerant man known in the area and not seen for some time. It appears he went for a walk in the woods, probably last fall and died of unknown causes and wild animals ate his remains which were hidden by snow until recently. No signs of foul play. An amazing ER she works in. They never know what will come thru the door. Anything from fish hooks in hands to vehicle accidents, skiing accidents, baby deliveries, nursing home patients. They call it "womb to tomb" It is the same ER I went thru four months ago. Life's seasons. I submit that there are seasons in life and when that season ends, that opportunity is likely over. When I was a teenager (many years ago!), myself and two buddies planned a bicycle trip after high school graduation around the western USA from our homes in Indiana to the west coast and back. Crazy, but that is what teenagers think about. We trained hard, got the equipment we needed, but the older of us got drafted (Vietnam), and dropped out of the trip. 10 days before departure, my other buddy decided he was in love with this hot girl and had to stay home and court her. I was left alone. I talked to my dad and asked him what to do. Dad and I didn't often agree in those years (remember I was a teenager about to graduate) but he said a very profound thing to me that has always stuck with me. he suggested I take a short trip of a few weeks and circle Lake Michigan alone. He told me that if I didn't do it now, I never would. He was right. I didn't do it then and I never did. That season in my life passed, never to come again. I am sure we can all think of seasons in our life that have come and gone. People have asked me since my stroke what I think of life now. I tell them don't let your dreams get too far ahead of you, you may not be able to catch them later. Think of the seasons in your own life. Child raising years, college years, good job years, golden retirement years, etc. Many of us (like me) are in what is likely the final season. All of the afore mentioned seasons are behind me. Lesley and I moved up here two years ago the culmination of a life long dream of mine. To have all summer to fish and walk in the woods here wherever I wanted to. One evening last summer I was alone in my canoe on a glass smooth lake with beavers and moose swimming around me, a few nice walleyes on a stringer no one else on the lake, the sun slowly and beautifully setting in the west. I thought to myself "I have to keep this going, this is as good as it gets". Little did I know of the challenges a few short months would bring. I expected to have maybe 20 such years to live my dream. I got one. Our first year we were building the house, fishing was a secondary priority. Last summer was my dream come true. Then December 8, 2006 changed my life. My final life season nearly got cut short. Why am I working so hard to recover? To finish living out my dream for the length of time I expected to! If I have anything to say about it, a stroke will not stop my dream! It interupped it, but if I can help it I will not allow it to end the dream I know will not pass my way again. I am not fighting just to live, I am fighting to live out my final dream! Living is one thing, over six billion people manage that on this planet at the moment. Living your dream, that is a privilege few enjoy for long, if at all. Now you know mine, what's your dream? Share it here so we will all know.

Sue, Thanks for the very kind words. Since I have not walked in Ray's shoes, I can only admire his courage to keep on keeping on. I hope I do give some new inspiration. I try to be very, very careful to not raise false hope. Everything I am trying is either covered by insurance or is of modest cost. I put short time limits on treatments to keep costs down, the providers on notice that I am not their retirement plan, and I must do my part to see the expected results. Keeps everybody motivated. The closer fishing season gets, the stronger my motivation. Thanks again, and good luck with Ray, I'm sure he is doing the best he can.

Phyllis gave us a great insight yesterday with her comment that it takes 34 reps to learn something if we are healthy, unknown how many if we are not healthy. Lets count a days reps as once. That means a healthy person could do whatever in a bit over a month. An unhealthy person like many of us will take longer so lets say thrice as long. That works out to a little over three months. I think some providers want to make it a lifetime. There may indeed be cases where that is necessary, but I don't plan to be one of them. I think Phyllis' numbers are about correct based on my own experience recently. In two months of work on my Bowflex, my good (right) arm strength has doubled. The Left arm has gone from zero to about where the right arm started. I am only holding it back out of fear of hurting my shoulder again. I am on track to make my goal of being able to go fishing on opening day (May 11). I have found this same number of days works well in calculating other expected improvements. I have only been doing standing toe raises for about two weeks. When I started I could not support myself at all on the left foot only. Today I did ten reps supporting my body weight on the left foot raised only. Just about when I think I am at a standstill, my body gives me a wonderful surprise, and rewards the work. I have been stuck at about 45 degrees of left arm lift out to the side while standing. Since the Myofacia release and Graston, It has crept up to 90 deg or parallel to the ground. Today It shot up to nearly vertical, probably 160 deg or so, almost as good as the right arm! Still too much pain, and not smooth as it should be, but improving. I do the exercises my OT gave me every day. Still use the Saeboflex as well, have graduated to some new exercises with it she gave me. I report these things to you to let you know what is working for me and what is not. I realize these treatments may not work or even be possible for some of you, but possibly some of you have wondered about some of this stuff, and my reports will help you make your own decision. I hope so. I deeply realize my experiences may not be typical, and may well not work for all, but appears to be working for me. My friend "Mike" I occasionally speak of is not doing a full exercise routine anymore, and from what he tells me his progress has nearly stopped. When we both came out of rehab nearly at the same time, he was well ahead of me as far as what he could do. We are much closer now. All I know is that when I try something new it seems to usually trigger more rapid progress than I was having. Part of it is I can now target very specific things to improve, not everything. I am also deeply aware of what Donna said about finances and insurance. My Military retired Tricare has made much of this possible. Thank you Tricare. I am now entering the areas where insurance will not pay. Thus, I am being very selective and letting the providers know I expect results. Most of the websites for these therapies promise quick results. I am simply holding them to their promises. No results, and I won't be back. I also have picked up on the fact that some long term survivors are well adjusted to their situation and have had hopes built up in the past, only to be dashed by reality. Some of those are not willing to risk another disappointment, or some of these therapies may simply be too late for them. A neighbor of ours has a husband in the local nursing home from a stroke five years ago. It breaks my heart to see him with a claw hand and in a wheel chair. I told Lesley were he 10 years younger, I would go there, kick his butt, get him a Saeboflex even if we had to pay for it, and get him home again. The only reason he went to a nursing home is that she is 78 and became unable to care for him at home. With what is now available, he could be at home with proper treatments. Unfortunately, he is 86 and his time for all of this has past, and his motivation to even try new things isn't there. I did give him a hand atrengthener I had, and his loving wife goes to the nursing home and works with him using it everyday. The system we live under talks a good game, but has failed this man and many others like him. I don't know the answer to all of this, but having him spend his last days in a nursing home when he could be in his home with available treatments isn't it. I have not walked in their shoes and will certainly not judge anyone. We each must do what we feel is best for us and play the cards we have been dealt as best we can. I may well lose my motivation in years to come and plateau. If I do, I want that plateau to be as high as possible. Thus, I'm doing all I can while I can do it. I do hope that nothing I have said here has offended or given false hope to anyone. It certainly has not ever been intended to do so. What works for me may not work for another. I don't completely understand complacency and comfort zones, but that doesn't mean they are not real to those that have them. I didn't understand depression until I was in the hospital, now I take happy pills and have a much better understanding of it. There are many things I don't understand, but that doesn't make them any less real. Please reread this last paragraph. It is important. I am just reporting my results for all to see and hopefully help some others along the way. Well, Lesley has just come home and reports seeing a large Grey wolf at the end of our road. Last night a body was brought into the ER where she works in pieces and partially decomposed, apparantly eaten by wolves. Whether they killed the man or just ate the remains will have to wait for the med examiner to determine. Lesley is now running the dog and as always using a leash. Anyway, a beautiful sunrise today, and breakfast awaits

Donna, You bring up an excellent point. One of the reasons I require a new treatment to show results is that our finances are also limited. Every provider I go to knows there will be a limit on what I will do. I have already passed up some things that would likely help in the name of cost. Where you are in life also matters. What is appropriate for one may well not be appropriate for another, but that is the subject of another blog. Thanks for the insight.

Iwisman, You said in a few well chosen words what I tried to say in many. My wife is a nurse. One of the issues she has working here in a very small rural hospital is that she is expected to know how to do almost everything in nursing. She often comes home and says "Today I was out of my depth". Just a person has a certificate does not mean they have the experience or all current knowledge in a particular area. I used to sell health insurance and finally quit because sooner or later every client I sold would eventually would be mad at me. I have seen Insurance companies do some really stupid things. To be fair however, my Tricare plan for retired military has been very good to me overall. An unintentional slip of the typing finger. I'll try not to use the "v" word again. Thanks for the reminder. I submit again that we are our own best advocate and it will always be so.

Dogs can be the same. Our dog Jasmine, a Bichon is fortunately only 20' long. any longer and the wife and I would have to sleep elsewhere as she finds a way to sleep crossways in the bed.