GeorgeLesley

I do not live in a fantasy "positive thought" world. My point is that what we think of most, we will eventually do. Positive thoughts begat positive actions, negative thoughts begat negative actions. I always try to give positive actions to support the thoughts. Thoughts alone without actions are soon empty and meaningless. I stand by my belief that hanging around negative people is not where I want to be. Yes, I have bad days too, but thinking and then acting on positive things helps me recover faster than the opposite would. I plan specific examples of this in upcoming blogs. I will try to be clearer on that point in the future. I do thank you for the insight and another point of view, hostsue.

Thought it was time for you to meet Lesley and hear her side of the story. She has awakened, reheated her coffee and is ready to write. I did enjoy the sun rise this morn.There is something to be said for living in the north woods area.I work night shift as an RN at our local rural hospital and it takes me a day to catch up on sleep when I come off and have some days off. I guess my biorythems get screwed up.My story. Dec 8th 2006 our whole life got turned 360 degrees.My George had his ischemic stroke with an extension 8 hrs later. Due to our rural area he was driven to Duluth 2 1/2 hrs away,from Grand Marais.I followed the ambulance in our car and this started a month of adaption,new terms,new people,Drs,PT,OT, Shrinks,Pastoral,watching,listening and on it goes.I was the care giver not the Nurse.I was the one being educated.I was very thankful that I was proactive and at my husbands side during his stay at the Hosp and Rehab.Christmas '06 was one to remember. George and I met on the internet.I was in New Zealand he in the U.S.A and I came here to marry him. We had both lost our previous spouses to Cancer and found each other. Married 5 yrs then this bump in the road happened.You can imagine the anger,frustration and why us questions that we asked.Not only did they give him a happy pill but I to went on it and we both continue on it.We do not feel shame on this as I know in my heart that I could not function very well with out it,to this date. I am back full time at work and our household is starting to get back to semi normal.Only through our love and being glued at the hip have we got through to now.Also George's determination to do the things he used to do has carried us through also. He is and example for all of us and. I watch his daily progress. Go get him George. As a caregiver it is very hard to sit back and not help him do all the daily activities and as a RN this is what I am suppose to do, Help people.34yrs as a Nurse has tought me this.But I have learnt to sit back and if he asked for my help then I give it other wise I just go about my daily chores.I still however call him from work before he sleeps to remind him to take his pills and check on him,but I do not worry the same at work as I know he is sleeping the good majority of time I am away from the house. This is why nights works for us. Today the sun is shining and we are expecting snow tonight 3-6in.This spring we are looking forward to the bulbs popping through and the Lupins showing.Also I get my outside brick bread oven completed.Can't wait to get it operational and eat that wholemeal/wheat bread.We have a Sat morn market in town and they may even see Lesley's bread on a table down there. Well this is the 1st of many add on's to George's info.Enjoy the moment, and take one day at a time,We Do. Regards Lesley. smilie

Got a new gadget in yesterday. Yes, UPS knows our driveway well. This one would be useful to anyone that does detailed crafts and occasionally needs more working hands than you have. It is a magnifying glass held on a sturdy base. It also has two alligator clips that can be moved and clamped in any direction. Perfect for soldering two wires, perhaps even threading a needle. For about three bucks I just had to have it, even if I never use it. Hostmel has given me some good instructions on how to post pictures here, I'll give it a go in a few days. Today is an exercise day and tomorrow is Duluth again for more OT with the Saeboflex. The Saebo continues to help.The grip is getting quite strong. I can now carry 1/2 carton of milk with the left hand. I was able to add 5lbs of resistance to the left arm with the Bowflex yesterday. Have not gotten to the Neuromove yet, will try later today. My days are quite full at the moment. In the next few days I want to talk about setting goals, motivation, etc. We become physically what we eat and how we live. Eat bad things and do bad things to your body, and likely bad things will result. Eat good things and do good things for your body, and ususally anyway, (not always) mostly good things will result. I believe the mind is the same. If we dwell on bad things, hang around negative people, we will become negative in our feelings about life. If we dwell on positive things, set positive realistic goals, associate with positive people, the mind will adjust and become more positive in all things. I am convinced that just as we are all trying to reteach our brains to do physical things, we must also teach, or reteach it positive thoughts. The words self fulfilling prophecy come to mind. Example: if you constantly think woe is me, poor me, why me, etc, guess what! Woe is you, poor you. I no longer give the wife a morning update on my physical condition unless something is substantially different, good or bad. She knows that until I tell her differently the ears still ring, the foot is still sometimes cold, the hand and arm are still spastic, etc, etc. I could go on, but you all know what I mean. Why keep repeating it? When it changes for the better or gets substantially worse, I'll let her know. I do the same around anyone else that asks "how are you today?" I really don't want to be just a medical reporter on my condition, so I say "fine". That is what they want to hear anyway, and it allows the conversation to move onto other non-medical issues. Speaking of the wife, poor thing, I just had to wake her up to watch what was obviously going to be a beautiful sunrise. My pause control does't work on such things, so I had to get her up. She is now sleeping in her recliner, coffee getting cold. Speaking of which, my cup is empty, time for a refill.

We have a similar problem and while our solution did not fix it, it does provide someone besides ourselves to blame. We invented two mythical helpers "Gretchen and Elbert" who are supposed to help us, serve coffee in bed, etc. Unfortunately, the wife and I do not do a very good job of coordinating their days off, and it seems one of us has usually given them the day off without the other knowing it. Sigh. Lists religiously kept up do help some. Same with post it notes. Going over the same things repeatedly also helps and gives you something useful to do. I give my blog entries three "final" proof readings before posting and still make typo's but a lot fewer than I used to.

We have a tradition of pancakes and bacon on Saturdays. We have substituted Canadian bacon for regular bacon a few years ago, trying to eat right you know. Seems we missed something along the way. We are now enjoying looking at the frost on the leafless trees. Absolutely beautiful. Many people have a hard time understanding why we live in this cold climate. Well the simple reason is that we love it. The wife said yesterday she actually prefers the winter over summer. Not sure I would go that far, fishing is better in summer you know, and paddling a canoe on ice is hard to do, but I agree winter here is a beautiful thing. A few years ago I did break ice with the canoe and nearly got stuck. Never did that again, a canoe makes a poor icebreaker. Before settling here a few years ago we traveled border to border, coast to coast in our motor home for three years. We have seen most of this country along with over other 30 countries, this is where we want to be. No offense to anywhere else, there are many beautiful places out there, The Tetons in Wyoming, the Swiss alps, Eastern Tennessee in the springtime. all awesome, but for us, this is it. Finding contentment in whatever state you are in is one of the keys to happiness, I think. In my 20 years in the USAF I never had a bad assignment. Even the year in Vietnam where I tried to extend my tour, turned out to be OK in the end. Got the Neuromove in yesterday afternoon. Spent the evening reading the book and watching the DVD. Will give it it's first go today. Will give first report on it tomorrow. Must confess, only did one session with the Saeboflex yesterday (don't tell my OT). After the AM Saebo session, we walked about 1 mile, then did the daily Bowflex and bike sessions, and I was pooped out. Hey, I'm 61 and had a stroke, that's enough for one day. Just got a call from the mail carrier, she wondered if we were going to be home since she had a package for us a did not want to leave it out if we were off to Duluth again. If we had been gone, she would have driven down the drive and put it inside the backdoor. The wife is reading the local gossip in the weekly paper. Turns out, one of the big contractors in town is delinquent in his taxes by $33.00. Ah, the beauty of a small town, no secrets. Yes, everyone knows I had a stroke, and pats me, smiles at me when they see me. My goal is for them not to notice me again. Some more gadgets to talk about soon, but now an observation for the day. The wife is getting the dog ready to go outside, putting on the booties, coat, harness, etc. About 0 out today. The dog is getting ready to make yellow snow. Survival tip: Don't eat yellow snow.

Thanks for the very kind words. It inspires me to keep onkeeping on. In the future I want to start getting us to "think outside the box" and not focus all day, everyday on our condition, but rather focus on the world we live in and how we still fit into it. Thanks one and all!

Yesterday was a busy day, driving to Duluth and back in snow. But the news was good. Went to OT for the Saeboflex. She asked how I was doing, hadn't seen her in over a week. I smiled and said let me shake your hand. We shook hands, she started really laughing, and the Saeboflex never came out of the bag. As we left, she asked if I needed any adjustments to the Saebo, I laughed and said you are talking to the Gizmo, Gadget Guy. She laughed and said just keep on doing what you are doing. I will. What she did spend her time doing was a new (to me anyway) therapy called something like Grafton I think. she spread a cream on my fingers and messaged each knuckle, then used a metal rod to work out the bad stuff. I think she called it facia or something like that. I was more interested in the results she was achieving than the names of the therapies. The good news: my fingers moved almost into a complete fist (90%). I thought the thumb had full range of motion before, but it really does now. Could even bend the index finger at the last joint. Absolutely amazing. The bad news: This morning some of the movement has been lost, I suspect the bad stuff facia? has moved back in, she said it will take time. Next time I'll be more agressive about moving the fingers the rest of the day after the treatment. I got lazy. I guess. I am confident that additional treatments will continue to restore my finger movement. I'll write more about this as I do it. She said she just went to a weekend seminar on this in January. I thanked her for giving up her weekend, I appreciate the results. On to the Dr. appt, actually she is a PA, but many years of stroke experience. All the numbers look great, a few potential clouds on the horizon, (don't we all have some), but nothing of immediate concern. She did ask me to speak at an OT conference in Oct and also a stroke survivor conference in Oct. Assuming I can get to Duluth then I'll do it. Not sure what I have to say that would help anyone, but if asked I'll try. I also gave her several websites, including this one, to look at. I also told her about several gizmo's and gadgets she had not heard about. Amazing how much info is available to us today. Long entry today. sorry. But talking to the Drs I now talk to I realize that we, and our caregivers are our own best advocate. We must be deeply involved in our own care. We get 15-30 min a month with a Dr. We have hours every day to do our own research. We must educate ourselves so that we at least know the right questions to ask. The time with medical professionals is precious, spend it asking the right questions, not talking about our grandchildren as we all want to do. For those unable to do your own research, this forum is a great place to start. I found the same thing with my first wife and her breast cancer and diabetes. By the time she died, I could have probably taught a diabetes education class. During her cancer treatments, I found new treatments even her Oncologist didn't know about, and he offered to try and get her into them. In the end, it didn't matter, she died anyway, but she was the first in our area to get a device implanted in her chest so I could vacuum out the fluid building up around her lungs at home. Not tooting my own horn, this is not about me, it is about each of us taking control as much as possible of our own situation. As I started my research on this new affliction in my life, I told my wife I don't want to chase straws, but I don't want to overlook a straw that might help me, either. Man have I been blessed. Two great wives in one lifetime. How lucky can one guy be? 28 years with the first one and I hope at least as long with the second one. I don't do this marriage thing very often. Anyway, the sun is rising over a few fresh inches of overnight snow, temp is -5 outside, and I get my Neuromove today. It qualifies as a gizmo, since it is pretty complicated. I hope this simple brain of which there is now less, can figure it out. Didn't have much brain to start with, really can't afford to lose anymore. As chatty as I get, I am sure I'll have lots to tell about the Neuromove. Also have several other gadgets to talk about in the future, but enough for today.

We just got back from Duluth (250 mile round trip), I drove down, she drove back, wife and I are bushed. Will give a full report tomorrow, lots of really good stuff to report. I think I just got dealt a better hand (really).

Still struggling with the senselessness of my aunt's death. Ya I know, she was over 80, lived a good life, had three successful children, 64 years with one man, happy, but a fall in the night killing her? Could happen to any of us anytime. Anyway she'd want me to move on and not dwell on her passing, so I'll try. Did the ususal exercise yesterday. The hand continues to show real improvement. Finger strength continues to improve. Dexterity still leaves a bit to be desired. Can't move all the fingers at all joints, particuarly the last joint. Still a work in progress. Only been at it a week. The Saeboflex really is not designed to fix all of that. But grip strength, well it really helps that. The Neuromove should be in this week or so, more exercise then, only two months to go until fishing season starts. Assuming the water is soft by then. Still two feet of ice on most lakes at the moment. The canoe is still frozen to the ground, but we did see 50 yesterday. We are building a brick bread/pizza oven outside this spring. We put the foundation in last fall to let it settle over the winter. As always, if I can figure out how to post a picture, I'll do it after it is built. The wife says any and all of you are welcome to come and make bread/pizza with her, she loves the company. If you are up to it we can have that race down our driveway I spoke of earlier. I will even consider giving a head start, depending on situation. I refuse to use the "H" word. If you use a walker we might shorten the 800' to say 25' or so. BTW, for those interested, you can see our photos of our house, travels and the area at www.georgelesley.smugmug.com. I would make it a link if I was smart enough to do it. I may post future pics there, I know how to do that. May not post tomorrow, we are off to Duluth (125 miles for guess what, a Dr. and OT appointment). Got to leave at 6AM. Musing for the day: I didn't make the rules for the game of life, nor even ask to play, but since I am here I am playing the cards I have been dealt as best I can, even though some of the hands are not particularly good. The next hand may be better. Keep on keeping on!

I am not a financial wizard, but fat chance of them ever paying you back "when they can afford it". Just starting a new family? Never happen. If you really expect the $$$ back they should refinance the mortgage and give it back to you in a lump sum. As far as 1/2 the mortgage payments, consider it rent. Most of it went to interest anyway, and actually helped reduce the principal very little. Mix money and friends, soon you will have neither. Mix money and family, soon you will be broke and lonely. Consider getting your own place and if you are over 62, consider a reverse mortgage to improve your cashflow. If you can afford to do that then you could let them consider the down payment you gave them as their inheiritance. PM me if you want more details. I used to sell reverse mortgages, no longer do and am not tolling for business. I make nothing on this advice.

Going to hard to be super motivated today. I just got a call that an aunt of mine died rather unexpectedly. She was about 80, had cardio problems, but all was going very well according to Dr. She got up during the night, fell, hit her head on a table, and because of Cumiden in blood, developed a massive brain bleed and died. Married 64 years. Crap. They have a cabin up here and she and my wife had planned a bread baking party this summer. Not to be. All I can say is live everyday like it might be your last. It just might be. If this doesn't motivate all of us to get on with it, I can't help. Her name is Melba. For those of you that pray, a prayer is appreciated. For those of you who don't, your thoughts are appreciated. Thanks. George

I start a new day feeling better about the possibilities of life and the future. The arm and shoulder pain have receded. The hand grip strength has dramatically improved in all fingers. Still a long way to go, but much better. I can now make the wife wince when I grip her hand. Before all I got was a smile and "thats good dear". I can now touch all fingers with the thumb, although touching the little pinkie takes a lot of effort. Could not do that two days ago. The Saeboflex is helping. I really squeeze the balls hard now when I move them. Did the Bowflex and bike again yesterday and the left side spacisity have improved. Definately cancelling the Botox sked for later this month. Have heard it weakens the muscles, sure don't want to do that. Speaking of the Bowflex, sorry guy and gals, but the models with perfect 6 pack abs do not come with it, even as an extra cost option. It is fun getting up earlier now and watching the sun rise as it now marches to the North a bit more each day. We actually had rain last night, spring is soon coming, got to keep exercising so I can lift the canoe. Assuming I am successful I'll post a picture of me carrying it if I can figure out how to post it. Probably have to ask Jean how to do it, she has been very helpful guiding me thru these computer challenges. I have a gadget I want to share with you. When I returned from the hosp I could not zip up my jacket. Just couldn't hold the left side to do the zipper. The wife sewed a loop on the bottom of the jacket near the left side of the zipper. This enabled me to put my thumb thru it and hold the jacket tight on the left side so I could zip it up alone. Still was hard, but it worked. Used it for a month or so, now I have enough grip to do it normally. The loop will stay on the jacket as a reminder of where I have come from. Effort pays off eventually. In future entries I want to talk about how to set realistic goals for yourself. More later, time to do the Sudoko puzzle for the day, then morning Saeboflex exercise, then Bowflex, etc. Did I mention breakfast and a second cup of coffee?

Today is a back to work day. This morning I paid the price for not doing much yesterday. My left arm was tighter than an overstretched rubber band. Think I'll make today a fairly light day, no new records, but a good workout to get the spacisity under control again. The good news, The left hand almost closes into a fist now, and I have some strength returning to the little pinkie finger. Still isn't a great fist, and I won't hurt anybody if I hit them with it (might hurt myself), but it is much better than a week ago. First week Saebo summary: fingers now straight, except index finger still has slight crook in it. I think I might have a tendon that shortened , might have to live with that. Thumb now moves in all directions at will, lower palm tightness to thumb pretty much gone, strength in all fingers improved, especially little pinkie, can now make 3/4 fist, better than 1/3 fist a week ago. Swelling geatly reduced, feeling in fingers more (but not completely) normal now. Tightness in wrist less than before, still there somewhat. Opinion: a lot of work, but it is working. Moving balls back and forth for 45 min twice a day is not exciting, but using the left hand to help type this makes it worth it. Yesterday I promised a report on a new gadget. Sorry non fishermen, but this is a fishing gadget. It is a fish grabber. Really neat, the wife is happy I got four of them. You slip your hand into it and it grips the fish in a firm but non hurting way, allowing me to remove the hook safely It is called the fish grabber and is available from HyPark Specialty.com Minnetonka, MN. They have some other neat stuff as well. I promise the next gizmo or gadget will apply to more of us. Should be getting the Neuromove in next week or so and will give reports on it here as well. Weather wise, we have been sunny and up to 40 during the days, some melting going on, may be able to try and get the canoe up off the ground again soon. Not really an urgent matter, the water is still hard here anyway and will be for the next six weeks or so. and fishing season doesn't open intil mid May. BTW, the balance is getting better, yesterday did 30 seconds nearly still on the left foot, no support. Two months ago could not do it at all. Keep on keeping on!!

Ah, a day of rest, sort of. No Bowflex exercise today. I ususally do three days on one day off. Today is an off day. Yippee! Actually, I enjoy doing the Bowflex, have a hard time doing the exercise bike first, because I really want to do the Bowflex. I think doing it three days in a row is probably a bit much, should probably do every other day, but I really want to get better fast. Once my left arm catches up to the right arm, or at least where the right arm was when I started, I'll back off to every other day. I did back off the resistance a bit on the left arm yesterday, the shoulder told me I was going too fast. No such luck for the right arm or legs yesterday, I increased resistance for both. The reasons I like the Bowflex so much are: no heavy weights to lift, setting up the various exercises is good therapy (isn't everything), I can simulate virtually all exercises PT has given me to do with Theraband with it, and I can set different resistance for each side. They are not cheap, we had ours about six months prior to stroke, and it mostly collected dust. Now it gets regular use. We got one of the lesser models, you don't need all the bells and whistles, we got the Motivator II model, it may not be in production anymore, but they are still around. Anyway, about the Saeboflex. No day off for it. Insurance is getting their money's worth. Fingers remain straight, and not swollen. 45 minutes twice a day is a lot to do, but so far, worth it. Finger strength and grip are improving. I can now open a ziplock bag, or a string cheese package. You know, the individually wrapped round 6" long cheese strips. It is hard, but I can now do it without using my teeth. Look mom, two hands. Yea Saeboflex. The thumb now moves normally, and the tightness in the palm leading to the thumb is nearly gone. In it's place is a skinny palm. Discouraging how much muscle mass I lost in all members in ony three months of inactivity. The good news is that with what I am doing now, it is coming back sloooooowly. Even the right (good) arm lost much strength. Since I have started my exercise regimen, it has doubled in strength, don't be impressed, it was weak to start, doubling a small number is easy. BTW, a non stroke item, we finally got some snow last week, about one foot of much needed new snow. We now have about two feet of snow cover. Between the daily feedings I give it (that part still works fine, thank you very much, no more Colace for me) and the new snow cover, the septic should not freeze now. Tomorrow I'll tell you about a new gadget I got the other day. BTW, a gizmo is something like the Saeboflex, or other more involved device, a gadget is something simple, like a shoehorn, etc. (my blog, so my definitions).

I am a 61 year old married guy that stroked in Dec 06. My wife and I live near Grand Marais 120 miles up the lake shore from Duluth. Would love to meet others. George Gradek

Another good day so far. I'll try to make this short. but I have so much to say. First, anything I do, be careful. Do not do anything that hurts or is unsafe for you. If your Dr or therapist do not agree, DON'T DO IT. If I can be an inspiration to any of you, that's good. If you try to emulate me and hurt yourself, that's bad. Example: my friend Mike, survivor I met in Rehab, still call each other every day. Mike told me he could lift 10lb with his bad hand. I tried it and hurt my shoulder and set myself back a week. The saying "no pain, no gain" is not true for us. If it hurts or is unsafe don't do it. OK enough of the warnings. Now to the latest info. The hand continues to improve. If I hold the hand quiet on a pillow sitting on the couch, it almost feels like a regular hand. Spasisity is much reduced, swelling way down, numbness in fingers reduced. I can hold the fingers straight, grip is improving. Actually using left hand to help type this. I think the Bowflex exercise is also helping this. Really trying to resume normal activities, think that is important. Sleeping in til 9AM, getting up and having breakfast, then exercisng, checking email, watch some TV, eat lunch, nap, exercise, eat supper, watch TV go to bed, that is no life. Got to return to normal. Now getting up at around 6AM, shopping, work outside, housework, read a bit. Do a sudoku puzzle (takes longer now) live normal life. You must, within your safe abilities, challenge yourself. Example: when I got home from hospital in late Dec 06, could not stand on left foot and balance. Tried everyday. Now I can do it for 20 or 30 seconds. Just keep trying. Regaining my balance is essential to do the canoeing I will do next summer. I try this standing by the bed and make sure I fall into it when I lose balance. which I always do. Mike and I have challenged each other to a race down our driveway (800' long) next summer. I will now extend that challenge to any other stroke survivors, if it is safe for you to do so. We have a spare bedroom, the wife is a great cook, the area is beautiful, and the house is now handicap friendly. A word of warning: I don't like to lose so I will train very hard. No cameras allowed as it could be the world's ugliest race ever! A word on spasity. It seems to lessen with exercise. About exercise, I would not wait until Botox wears off before starting. You can do more with less spasity. And for you ladies, I know strength training is not your thing, but to build or regain muscle mass and strength you have no alternative. Treadmills and bikes are good for what they do, but if you want to regain arm and leg strength, you must weight train those limbs. Not fun, but they won't get better just thinking about it. That's why I so love my Bowflex, smooth resistance training, much easier than theraband strechy stuff. I have put all of mine away. I'll talk more about this soon, this entry has gone on long enough. Bye for now, time to run the dog and then AM Saeboflex session.

I saw the same thing when my late wife died of cancer. During the last weeks and the first two days after the funeral, much company. After that, friends we had socialized with for years forgot my phone number. I don't know why, but it happens. Same with me now that I have had a stroke.

For those wondering what a Saeboflex is, go to Saebo.com. Thanks to all for the replies. You folks are an inspiration to me. I told the wife I'll try this blog thing for awhile, if no one reads it, I'll quit, if anyone does, I'll do it for awhile longer. For years I have said that in America we find the time and money for what is important to us. To that I now add the word effort. If clicking a remote is what you want to do, that's what you'll do. If riding a bike is what you want to do, do what it takes to do it. I must carry and paddle a canoe again when the water gets soft again, so I MUST do what it takes to make that possible. Don't give up! I have found when I am having a tired day, exercise more, work thru it. Yesterday I did PT had a nap, ate lunch, wife said why don't you go to bed. I was tempted, but did the driveway, then did one hr exercise. Showered and felt great! BTW, the way the muscle spasity is getting better, I will probably not get the Botox sked for later this month.

Jean, tried to post reply to your question, not successful, still learning this blog thing. Anyway, an OT will fit you initially, lots of measurements, etc, then will adjust for you upon delivery. The good news is that it works, at least for me. Your results may vary. After two days of use, the hand is much less swollen, can actually see the tendons again. May actually be able to get the ring off again soon. The fingers are straighter than they have been since the stroke. I can hold the hands together as in praying (probably not a bad idea to do more of that) and now the fingers touch, except for the index finger, together all the way. The index finger still has a tiny bit of crook in it but getting better every treatment. It takes a lot of adjustment, good if you or your caregiver are are mechanically inclined. I think the adjustments may be part of the therapy. I have found using a lighter spring is better, 45 minutes of a heavy spring gets tiring quickly. If you can use it at all, this thing will definitely increase your grip strength. I can now do the side to side finger separation, interupted the movie we were watching last night to show the wife the "Mr Spock" of star trek peace sign, gapping the two middle fingers. First time I could do that since the stroke. Not sure the wife was impressed, but I was. Still have a lot to spasity (sp) in the hand and wrist, but less than before. A least the fingers don't look or feel like overstuffed sausages anymore. Reading this forum I have come to realize that I was just a few neurons away from being a lot worse off than I am. Kudos to those fighting tougher battles than I ever could every day. The doctors say my stroke would have been worse except I was in pretty good shape at the time, ate right, cholesterol was good, non-smoker, Normal weight, etc. I really don't believe that. A stroke is what it is. I had no control over which vessels clotted off. I do think that my general condition has helped my recovery though. It sure would be easy to give up and let my caregiver do it all. But yesterday was a busy day, PT in AM then a "I am exhausted nap", then snow blowed the driveway for one hour, then the Bowflex and exercise bike for an hour, shower (need them often, I sweat more now), then the Saeboflex for 45 minutes. Slept well indeed. Will talk more abouit the Bowflex later, great machine, use it everyday. Also have a few more gizmos and gadgets to talk about. More later, time for the AM Saeboflex session.

. Amen to the regressing quickly. Thanks for the input.

Finally got my Saeboflex yesterday. It is quite a fancy gizmo. Lot's of springs, adjustments, etc. The bad news is that it will require much work and effort on my part. This is particularly distressing because I am a pretty lazy person. I can lay down right beside work and not be bothered by it. Now I actually have to do more each day. Ugh! In fact, the OT said that she went to a stroke support meeting to show the device and was not well received. Most there felt it was too complicated and took too much work. Surprise! Everything in rehab is hard work and takes effort. We all wish we could take a pill, go to sleep and wake up tomorrow with everything being OK. My Dr. does not have such a pill. I think we can get into a comfort zone and not want to be disappointed again, so we stay where we are. I tried the mad, sad, why me, woe is me routine, but still felt bad the next day. In fact, I felt worse because I was too upset to sleep. Sorry, but to get better we will all have to keep working at it. Not fair, wish it wasn't so, but that is the way it is. Dr says my days of playing the piano are over (never did anyway), but hopefully I'll be able to build things with my beloved Erector sets again. With just one session I already see a bit of improvement in the left hand. Just having it around has made me focus on using the left hand more. I am now more aware of it. Anyway, I've got to get busy and do my morning session with the Saebo flex, fishing season opens in May, and this is the first day of the rest of my life!

Was going to wait a few days for this, but can't. We are off to Duluth, MN tomorrow AM for the initial fitting for my Saeboflex. Also got approval from ins co for botox treatments, scheduled for sometime later this month (wife does scheduling, I just show up at the appointed time/place). Also got a new gizmo in today, a fingernail clipper with round ends like scissors. I can hold them with my affected hand and actually was able to clip my nails on my good hand with the left (bad) hand. One more job my over-enabling wife will not have to do anymore. Took me awhile, had to nibble my way across each nail but got it done. I want to develop the enabling caregiver thought in another entry later, maybe have some discussion about it then. Early to bed tonight, 5:30 comes early!

I have decided to take admin's suggestion and create a blog. I'll continue to post as GeorgeLesley, but called this blog what I want the focus of the blog to be. I am a former car mechanic and general handyman. I am trying some of the gadgets and things we all hear of, and will post the results here. Hopefully others will post about their experiences as well. First up is the Saeboflex I already posted about. Should receive it and start therapy within a week or so. BTW, the OT is in Duluth, MN, 125 miles away. I drive part of the way, the wife takes over in the city. I also ordered the Neuromove and it is due to be shipped next week. I also tried the Walkaide and posted about it already. Suffice to say, it worked, but too many $$ for now. I have many general musings like we all do, will slip them in as the urge strikes. Hopefully we can all benefit from this, I'll do my best to keep the spelling errors to a minimum. I'll post every few days at first, then as warranted. I'll get to the bio later, can only do so much now. Thanks for reading, GeorgeLesley