GeorgeLesley

Well Lesley is still in New Zealand having a great time with her family. I am here in Minnesota still using the snow blower. I thought I was done with it for the season, but we got 7" yesterday. I just did a fast path down the driveway. Didn't worry about the complete parking area, but at the end of this week I am taking our motor home to Houston, Tx to sign it over to a consignment dealer there to hopefully sell it for us so I had to make sure I can get it out. It is about 1500 miles, I plan to do it in three days. I have an extra day if I need it. It is quite a lot for me to manage alone. Planning trip, getting the RV ready for the trip, getting all the paperwork in order, booking flight back, arranging a place to stay in Tx, packing, planning food, arranging for someone to take care of our dogs, remembering what meds to take along, take afo & cane, etc, etc. Lesley is usually here to help me do some of it The knee surgery has been postponed until Lesley returns in May. My plate is very full now, I have quite enough the handle without surgery as well. Anyway just a short entry to bring you all up to date. After this week I won't be around for a week or so.

Maryjo, When we got our springer spaniel as a puppy she howled in her crate every night for about an hour. After a week it tapered off and after two weeks was gone. Now she won't sleep anywhere else. When she wants to go to bed she lays by her crate until we open the door. We don't even latch it anymore and she still stays in all night, even though she could easily go out. Stick with it you won't regret it.

I agree Fred, as a fellow career veteran as well, I sure don't like the thought of another war. Many people think the military likes wars. Just ask someone who has been in one and you will find out differently. Nobody hates war more that a warrior. I don't think he has the missles yet to reach the western US, but our troops in S Korea, Japan and other places in the area are at risk. I cannot figure out why we still have our troops there anyway. Long past time to bring them home. Fred, never think for a moment you are not able to contribute. You do every day here and elsewhere. I salute you, and thanks for your service!

Thank you Nancy, with all the bad in your and Dan's life at the moment, it had to be hard to say what you said. Thanks also to the other responders, I really do appreciate it.

Well Lesley is on her way as I write this to New Zealand to spend about five weeks with her mum. She goes every year, mum is 90, so every visit is important. The one son there and his two girls have also recently become more a part of the family. Lesley is an only child, so her mum is a bit lonely, and really looks forward to Lesley's visits and longs for contact from the son and great grand daughters. It has been a point of frustration with Lesley and I that they have been mostly ignoring mum, but that seems to have come around recently and mum is on cloud nine as a result. Now that we have Skype and hi speed internet, Lesley calls her mum everyday. My main news about myself is that I will be having knee surgery at the end of April. A bit of cartilage is missing. The surgeon showed me the MRI and explained what he wants to do to fix it. I am not in any real pain, but it "clicks" a lot and sometimes gives out unexpectedly. This is bad when I am carrying a canoe or backpack, so getting it fixed is important. The bad news is that he expects a 4-6 week no weight on knee recovery period, due to the holes he is going to drill in the bone where the cartilage is missing. He says that often simulates the bone marrow to grow new cartilage, but he wants me off it for that long to give the new cartilage a chance to grow. I wanted to do it immediately, but since Lesley will be gone, she went ballistic when I suggested that. So, I decided to schedule it the day after she returns, but the surgeon is not available that day. So we compromised and I will have it done 5 days before she gets back. I'll just have to tough it out for a few days and depend on friends. She was not happy about that, but that is what compromise is all about. This has not made me happy. Summers up here are short and now I will lose some of mine due to the operation. As some of you may remember I have a scheduled camping trip near the end of June with a friend that has his own medical problems. I contacted him and gave him the option of finding another partner since I expect, but cannot guarantee I will be able to do the trip now. He immediately replied and said not to worry, if it doesn't work out this time, we'll do it another day. Now I just have to not overdo the rehab PT. As a stroke survivor I know something about rehab as anyone reading this does as well. As longtime readers may remember, I am a great believer that life has seasons, and when a season is over, it is over. And just like the seasons of the year, life seasons change and don't last forever. So, since Lesley and I are (thank the Lord) in a good season at the moment., we have decided to sell our present motorhome and buy a new one. Our present one is working fine, but is 14 years old, and I no longer like to do the maintenance on it. To replace it we are buying a new modern model that should last as long as we do. Lesley will be able to drive this one as well since it is about the same size as our present one. I am also a believer that we should be as the saying says "to thine own self be true", what that means to me is that we need to recognize who we are and what we do and like to do. Tent camping, canoeing, etc is our first love but when the ice is 3 feet thick like it is now, we like to travel in a small motorhome. I told Lesley that is who we are and what we like to do, so while we are in a good season which we know will not last forever, and we have already seen some bad in our life, we need to get on with it So we are selling the present one, building a garage for the new one, and will likely buy it sometime in the winter or next spring, whenever the right price comes along. Well, I need to wrap this up since Lesley should be landing in New Zealand soon and after many hugs with the family will likely call me. Plus, my coffee cup is empty and you all know what that means. P.S. I came very close not to writing this entry because of all the sadness on this forum recently, but maybe a bit of better news will help some of you deal with the immense difficulties you are facing at the moment. My heart goes out to all here. George

Wow Fred, great blog. Won't the VA give you some help on what you need? I just got a MRI of my knee yesterday at the VA hospital in Minneapolis, MN. Great care. They are sending me to a local (Duluth,MN) doc of my choice since they are too backed up to do the surgery I need. Good luck, great keeping us up to date!

Well we are in the "oh no, it is March again" time. Too warm to do any real outdoor winter activities like snowshoeing (snow is too wet and sticky), ice fishing (lakes have slush under the snow on the ice), etc, etc. So what is a poor guy to do? Well the friend I build the Erector models with has been coming over and we are busy finishing the amusement park models. We now have the airplane ride, ferris wheel, merry go round, and high wire acrobat built. Still have two more to build, probably won't get them done this winter, fishing season starts in two months. Yipppee! Lesley is off to New Zealand for five weeks to visit mum. I will be a bachelor and this time I don't really have any big projects to do. Guess I will get my fishing tackle ready to go. I am going to Elkhart, Indiana the first weekend in May with my model building friend to a display of model steam engines, trains, and Erector sets. We might display some of our models there. I just bought a wooden erector set. Very rare. They only made them from 1943 to 1947 due to the shortage of steel. My friend, who is a majician with wood told me he can make any parts I might need for the set. Neat. Lesley and I might also be going to the national erector set convention in Chicago in mid July. That is yet to be determined, depends on the progress on the garage we are having built for the motorhome. I do have a minor medical issue that has developed. My right knee sometimes "clicks" and nearly gives out on me. It comes and goes, usually doesn't last but a day or so then returns to normal. When it flares I just use my cane for safety. I am having a MRI later this month to get to the bottom of it, I suspect it is just "uncle arthur" visiting me again. What the treatment will be is still unknown till we get the MRI results. If it involves surgery it will have to wait until next winter. I refuse to give up a summer of camping and fishing just to have a surgery. Otherwise medically, all is going well. Weight is down to my ideal weight, exercise is going well. I am being very consistent about it. I tried to cut back to twice a week once I reached my goals, but found I just go lazy and had a hard time even doing it once a week. Now that I am back on three times a week I am having no motivation problems. Strange. Fortunately the knee dr. cleared me to continue my full exercise program, even the leg exercises. More good medical news: no problem with my blood pressure since I have gone off my blood pressure pills or my cholesterol since I went off that pill as well. Losing weight and exercising helps, I guess. Well, time to go remember to set your clocks forward. Spring forward!

Awww come on Asha, we all know you are perfect! lol. Sincerely, congrats on your many years of happiness. It sounds like to me that you both have figured out how to balance each others strengths and weaknesses out. I like to think Lesley and I have made some progress in that same area.

I used to be a life insurance agent. I was independent so I could write for almost any company. I specialized in cases with significant health issues. Find an independent agent or broker, they may be able to help. Be careful with AARP and many other plans that tell you no health questions. Such plans have a two or three year waiting period before they pay the death benefit you expect. If you are confident you will last that long, go ahead, but such plans are usually far more expensive than could be purchased elsewhere. I am now retired so can't help, I'm afraid.

Sue, I am reminded of what Lesley a former RN was always told at work about what pain the patient was having she was told "pain is whatever the patient says it is", much truth in that. If the person says it is excruciating then it is. If they say little, then it is. That advice not only applies to physical but also mental pain. It is what it is for each of us. No one else can know what anyone else is going thru. I remember when I first posted here you wished that Ray had my determination, etc. If I had to go thru what he did, perhaps I would not have been so brave. Not all the thoughts I had immediately after my stroke were positive, I assure you. If he had been in my circumstance, who knows, maybe the result would have been different for him. Yes I have lost both parents and a spouse. But even then although I have an idea about some of your pain, I cannot know it exactly. The only advice I give is to deal with each day by itself, do what interests you that day, if nothing does, force yourself do something anyway. Best wishes.

For us stroke survivors and I am sure for you caregivers it is indeed a fine line between doing too much and doing too little. Risk/reward management is a difficult issue. Does he use a cane or walker always? If not see that he does. I did for some time.

Well a bit of medical news first. Due I think to the heavy exercise and weight loss over the past few months, I am now off my high blood pressure meds entirely. Yippee. Only the blood thinner and a-fib med left. Probably stuck with them forever. My friend I have never actually met yet in person and I are into detail planning for our trip this summer into the wilderness canoeing together for a week or so. As I previously wrote, he has some medical issues as well, is about my age, and loves to camp and canoe as much as I do. Now to the story relating to the title I gave this entry. Lesley and I have a neighbor named Ed. His wife Chris is a lovely lady and she and Lesley get along well. Ed is in his early 60's. Ed has some health problems, not the which of least is that he had a stroke when he was 6 years old. Ed had a tough life, making friends was always difficult for him because of his speech deficit among other things. He also has intestinal problems that strike without warning and can interfere with his plans for the day. We have become the best of friends with both of them. Both will do anything they can for anybody, and are just good, dependable folks and the best neighbors anyone could have. It started last summer that Ed and I began fishing together, from there we all four began camping together in our RV's. Strangely, Even though I have only lived here 7 years and Ed has spent his entire life here, still I have been the one showing him where the fish are. One day I asked Ed if he was familiar with Erector sets. A metal construction toy most of us guys grew up with in the 50's and 60's. He said sure.. I told him I am a collector of them now and spend much time during the winters building models with my sets. I asked him if he would care to join me building models sometime. Well, now once or twice a week he comes over and we build side by side. I have had to buy some special screwdrivers and nut holders to help my affected hand hold things properly since the fingers don't work perfectly, but it is great therapy screwing small nuts and bolts together and we get it done. It is great to have a "third" hand available when I need it. He has just jumped in and started building like he has never stopped from being a kid. We are building the amusement park set of models, ferris wheel, merry go round, parachute jump. I already had build a few others, and someday, maybe next winter we will push one button and all will come to life. Maybe I will be able to post a video her of it all in action. It is great to have a friend that understands what limitations are, has a few of his own, and just get on with life whatever it takes. Ed introduced me to a men's Bible Study he goes to once a week. I now usually go as well. I'll end this with a short joke one of the men told us all there last week. It seems Adam was talking to God in the Garden and told God I really need a helpmate, what can you do for me? God thought for a minute and then said "give me a arm and a leg and I can make the perfect helpmate for you". Adam thought for a moment then asked "what can I get for a rib"? Till next time......

Debbie, I know I get a bit "technical" sometimes with all my gadgets, but something else that might help raise the level of awareness for both of you for his cold hand. I have a :point and shoot" handheld thermometer I got at Radio Shank years ago for maybe $30. It uses an infrared beam and is harmless. With it I can measure the temperature of any surface from about 6" away. When my hand is cold, it measures about 5 degrees colder than the good hand. Perhaps if you had one he could as well as you monitor coldness before it causes serious trouble. Just another idea from the "gizmo, gadget, guy"

Jamie nailed it. I notice that just a touch of almost anything will "right the ship". Carrying my canoe or a pack I have no problems because the extra weight makes me focus on the task at hand. Enough about me, Congrats to Bob!!

Oooops, don't know what happened to my post, but here goes again. We keep our house 63 to 65. I also get very cold hand and foot on affected side. Warm skin helps, but better are the heated gloves, socks, and slippers. Get the good ones with 7 volt lithium ion batteries, they last longer and are lighter, About $200 a set. The slippers maybe $100. www.thewarmingstore.com, Not cheap I know, but what price do you put on keeping your hands? I have also found almost any activity will help keep me warm. A good incentive to exercise! I also wear thinsulate lined blue denium pants and top. I have found keeping the core warm really helps keep the extremeties warm. I cannot tell when the foot is cold, but the hand I can. I wear a glove around the house, sometimes even the battery heated one. It warms fast and any pain quickly goes away. We live in northern MN a very cold climate. Hope this helps!

Your telling of using wax paper on sled runners reminded me of what we used to do as kids. We took wax paper and sat on a piece and then slid down the old metal type slides. Talk about being shot out of a cannon! BTW, we used to wax or sled runners also.

Well folks, I have to confess I have been bad. I had a fitness goal in mind to reach this winter. Well last week I was able to do the weight and repetitions I wanted to without too much strain. I then proceeded to take 6 days off, since now that I have reached my goal, I can drop from 3 sessions a week to 2. I intended to take a 3 day "vacation" from exercise. My how easy it is to get lazy. I took six days off. Today I got back with it and punished myself by adding another new exercise to the session and have decided to add yet more if I ever get lazy again. If I am sick, traveling, etc, OK to skip but just because I don't feel like it is not acceptable. The lesson for all who read this is to not give up any progress you are making. Even a small thing like wiggling a finger, toe, etc. you must keep doing if you want to see more progress or keep what you have gained. I am doing this because Lesley and I have a trip into the Canadian wilderness planned for next July, and I must be able to help Lesley carry all the gear and canoe. I also have at least one other trip planned with a guy friend, and I don't want to be a burden to him. Anyway, not much snow here yet, cold though, which is good. We actually had rain here last week, not a good thing in January as we now have ice under the new snow we are getting, making it quite easy to slip and fall. The leanto I built this past summer to house the ATV continues to do the job very well. I am most pleased we built it. We are still considering when and how to build a garage for the motorhome. Lesley is off to New Zealand again in April. She has switched her yearly trip to the spring because fall is a busy time around here, and spring is a very good time to be out of here. She is also seriously dieting and exercising a lot. She is on a site called myfitnesspal.com and if you want to lose weight, we both highly recommend it. She is steadily dropping 1-2 lbs a week and is more fit than she has been in many years. I am also losing a few lbs as well as a support to her mostly. I am lower now than I have been since I finished basic training with the Air Force as a 19 year old. I have decided to edit this blog. I think there is a valuable lesson to be learned here. Most of my life like most of us I have had 10-15 lbs or so I would like to lose, but just never seemed to get it done.Now that I have lost it, I have discovered there is still maybe 10 lbs to go. We all like to deceive ourselves and put the best possible face on anything that might reflect poorly on us. We can deceive each other, our spouses, even ourselves. The only entity we cannot deceive is our body. It knows how many calories we actually eat. It knows how much we actually exercise. We might tell the PT we are doing exactly what they tell us to do. Our body knows if we are really telling the truth or not. We can and do, fool everyone even ourselves, but we cannot fool our body. The reason Lesley is doing so well on this diet is that she is doing actual portion control, weighing, measuring, etc, and yes, exercise. No more "it's my thyroid, it is in my genes, etc, etc" excuses. We stroke survivors can learn from this lesson. School is out for the day! So we are both reasonably fit, happy, and nearing the weight we should be at. I told Lesley that life has seasons just like each year does. Some are good and some are not so good. I told her we are in a good season at the moment and that we need to enjoy it. Like all seasons, it will end someday, and we want to enjoy it while we can. Well, enough rambling on for now, just keep on keeping on!

This entry reminds me of a true story I was made aware of many years ago while serving on a local church board. The largest church in a mainline denomination in the USA was studied to find out how the growth occurred. What researchers found was that each department head was required to have at least two projects that FAILED each year to keep their job. That simple policy kept all departments constantly trying new things and the church continued to grow as a result. The analogy for us stroke survivors would be to always try new treatment options, some of which may work, some not. Long term readers will recall that shortly after my stroke I reported on many varied treatment options, some of which worked, some not. The main point to remember is that doing nothing is sure NOT to work.

8 months out it sounds like to me he is making good progress. I give much of my recovery success to exercising and working on specific areas when I did note improvement. It is important not to let muscles atrophy if at all possible. Keep him moving, he will complain, ignore it. I noticed improvement even 5-6 years out because I did not stop trying even though I wanted to. When I started I could not lift anything with my left arm, even the arm itself. Now I lift 40 lbs 45 times three days a week. I am actually stronger now at 67 than I was at 61 before I stroked. He CAN do it, put up with his complaining and make sure he keeps it up. Any luck on a saeboflex yet? My hand would not work like it does without it. P.S. Give him lots of encouragement when even small progress is made. I remember stopping a movie we were watching to proudly show Lesley the tiny finger movement that Had just returned to one finger in my left hand. One night I fell asleep wiggling my big toe for the first time since my stroke.

Ken, love your post. Each stroke survivor must pursue their own difficult path. The path is difficult and sometimes painful, and not always paid for by insurance. I had to cash in my IRA to fund my personal rehab in Canada. Was it worth it? You betcha! Keep on keepin on!

I don't know how the rest of you feel, but I feel like all the oxygen just got sucked out of the room. This horriffic tragedy in Conneticut as just made me realize how insignificant any of my "problems" are. Hard to think or write about much else, but maybe a theraputic blog might help. so I'll try. Life here is good, winter is coming on, snow has arrived with more coming. The leanto I built this fall for the ATV while Lesley was in New Zealand is working out very well. After plowing snow I park it inside the leanto which is heated and has a floor drain, and all the snow melts off. I plug it into a charger and keep the battery ready for next use. I have also become a TV weather watcher for a Duluth, MN station. A niece of mine is married to the TV weatherman for one of the local stations and he convinced me to become "uncle George" reporting from up the Gunflint Trail, which is the name of the road we live on. I call in my temps and precipitation totals every day. I did tell him that during fishing season there won't be many reports, because I will be fishing then. Lesley says she will pick up the slack, perhaps he will call her Aunt Lesley. Another big project, for me anyway, has been the transfer of about 200 music CD's onto the computer first and then hopefully onto an Ipod. Wow, Lesley and I are really moving into the 21st century fast. We got cell phones in April for the first time, a new LED hi def TV in Oct, got rid of dial up and got hi speed internet via satellite a few weeks ago, plus Lesley bought her first computer ever last month. She is already doing facebook, tweeting people (whatever that is) doing a site called stumbleupon.com which is a really neat site to follow anything that interests you, also she is looking into skype phone service so she can talk to and see the family in NZ. This old brain is having trouble comprehending all this technology so rapidly, but am trying to hang on. I went to the local Radio Shack and paid a young lad to show me how to move the music from CD's to the Ipod. Lesley is friends with the Best Buy "Geek Squad", but between us we seem to be getting it done. After I get all the CD's transferred, one electronic project remains. We have a few VHS tapes and movies from a video camera that I want to move to DVD and from there probably to a computer. We have the machine to do it, I just have to figure out how to use it. Maybe another trip to the local Radio Shack is in order. After all of this, I may be able to get to reading some books I have started but not finished some time ago. That is what we are supposed to do up here in winter, but have been so busy, I just haven't gotten to it. Oh, did I mention doing the exercise program every other day so I'll be ready for next summers canoe/camping trips? Two trips scheduled so far, one into the Boundary Waters Canoe Area here in MN, and one planned to the Quetico Provincial park in Canada. We are talking about a third trip, but it is not planned yet. Both trips will be about a week in the wilderness with no facilities at all. You may remember the pictures from our trip last summer, hopefully we will have more to post later this summer. Plus fishing this summer of course, and we may build a garage for the motorhome. I think Lesley and I can do it, except for the roof. We'll need help with that part. Whew, just writing all of that made me tired, and worse, my coffee cup is empty, You know what that means.

Nancy, we are getting the snow as well here in the tip of the arrowhead in Northern MN. Ours at the moment is mostly "lake effect" from Lake Superior or the "big Lake" as we locals call it. The storm you are getting will give us some more as it passes by. We love it and are ready. I am looking forward to clearing our 1,000' driveway tomorrow with our ATV. We wear chain type grippers on our boots when outside. Bring it on!! BTW I put a ice gripper on the end of my cane for winter walking when I used a cane.

Sue, our thoughts and prayers are with you.

Sue, I got your comment on my blog, but it is not showing up there. So I am posting the invite here to make sure you get it. You are most welcome anytime around our table to share some of Lesley's bread, venison, and maybe even some of my fresh caught Minnesota walleye. Seriously, if you could get to the USA, we can take care of the rest. I promise it would be a trip to remember.

Not judging anybody, but maybe you doing everything for Mike is enabling his behavior. Make him become more self reliant and just maybe he will. Lesley gradually did less and less for me, and I was then able to do more myself, and now pretty much do whatever I want to. Step back a bit and he will likely step forward. He will complain, us men always do, but live your own life and force him to somewhat live his. Obviously he will need some help, but probably not as much as you are presently giving. Good luck!