GeorgeLesley

Asha, Your entry reminded me of the critisim I got after my first wife died and I almost immediately started dating again. In the end, it worked for me. Others ask why Lesley and I live in Northern Minnesota and put up with the cold winters. The answer is because we like it. You go girl!

I guess Sue that if going to this group fills a need in your life and you enjoy it, why not keep going? If, on the other hand it brings back memories you would rather not relive then drop it when the time is right. After my first wife died, I never went to any support group because I just didn't want to relive the past. I wanted to focus on the rest of my life, since I could do nothing to fix the past. But that is me. Groups serve a purpose and go if it still suits YOU.

Good entry Fred.

Without hope there is no future to look forward to. Expectations are what others want for us, hope is what keeps us going. Keep hoping!

Well winter is on the way, hope we get more snow this year than we did last. Lesley is sitting in her deer hunting blind as I write this, today being the start of deer hunting season. She and I sighted in her rifle yesterday. I hadn't shot a rife for about 40 years, but did make one shot. I hit about 1" away from the red bullseye at 75 yards. It felt good, I may try deer hunting next year. I told Lesley I could do blind or tree stand hunting, but walking thru the woods flushing them out would not be a good idea for me to do. I just can't hold the rifle steady enough without something to rest it on, and tripping with a loaded gun is not a good idea either. We already have half of three road kill deer in the freezer, so we have plenty of venison for the winter. We got a call from the sheriff last week for another road kill, and on the way to get it we saw another one down. A quick call to the sheriff and we got the OK to pick both of them up. Needless to say, our basement has been a busy place with all the meat processing going on. Lesley and her friend do all of that, I don't like to be that close to sharp knives! I had a fall about three weeks ago in our garage. I tripped and fell on my left knee and my forehead hit the wall fairly hard. I was a bit nervous about the head since I am on blood thinners, so off to the doc we went a few days later. A CT scan found all OK, and a xray of the neck found all OK there as well. The knee has finally come right, swelling and pain pretty much gone. I am resuming normal activities at last. I plan to restart my exercise routine next week. I hate not being able to do it for the past three weeks. As I posted in Sandycaregivers blog, it is all about risk management. The more activities you resume, the more risk of things happening. I usually can catch myself or roll, but sometimes stuff happens. You just do the best you can to be prepared. I always carry blood clotting sponges with me when I am alone in the woods with my canoe, have bandaids handy, etc, etc. Life has risks, you just manage them as best you can. Another example of risk management: a few months ago I took two young boys and their grandpa fishing. While there, we saw some cliffs towering over the lake about 400' above the water. In years past I have climbed a trail I know around the side and back of the cliffs. It is steep in a few places, but the trail is nowhere near the sheer drop of the cliff face and is perfectly safe. Naturally the boys wanted to go up the trail. The grandpa asked if I would be OK waiting on the shore with the boat, and I told him I'd come and bring up the rear slowly. Near the top, there was a stretch near the edge of the cliff. The young boys and grandpa walked that trail. I chose another way, farther from the edge because of footing and balance issues. Years ago I would have taken the shorter trail near the edge. No more. That is what I mean about risk management and doing what you can to mitigate risk. Life is full of risks but to eliminate all of it would make for a boring life. So Sandy keep on moving forward and good luck! Anyway, my coffee cup is empty, you'all know what that means.

Well winter is on the way, hope we get more snow this year than we did last. Lesley is sitting in her deer hunting blind as I write this, today being the start of deer hunting season. She and I sighted in her rifle yesterday. I hadn't shot a rife for about 40 years, but did make one shot. I hit about 1" away from the red bullseye at 75 yards. It felt good, I may try deer hunting next year. I told Lesley I could do blind or tree stand hunting, but walking thru the woods flushing them out would not be a good idea for me to do. I just can't hold the rifle steady enough without something to rest it on, and tripping with a loaded gun is not a good idea either. We already have half of three road kill deer in the freezer, so we have plenty of venison for the winter. We got a call from the sheriff last week for another road kill, and on the way to get it we saw another one down. A quick call to the sheriff and we got the OK to pick both of them up. Needless to say, our basement has been a busy place with all the meat processing going on. Lesley and her friend do all of that, I don't like to be that close to sharp knives! I had a fall about three weeks ago in our garage. I tripped and fell on my left knee and my forehead hit the wall fairly hard. I was a bit nervous about the head since I am on blood thinners, so off to the doc we went a few days later. A CT scan found all OK, and a xray of the neck found all OK there as well. The knee has finally come right, swelling and pain pretty much gone. I am resuming normal activities at last. I plan to restart my exercise routine next week. I hate not being able to do it for the past three weeks. As I posted in Sandycaregivers blog, it is all about risk management. The more activities you resume, the more risk of things happening. I usually can catch myself or roll, but sometimes stuff happens. You just do the best you can to be prepared. I always carry blood clotting sponges with me when I am alone in the woods with my canoe, have bandaids handy, etc, etc. Life has risks, you just manage them as best you can. Another example of risk management: a few months ago I took two young boys and their grandpa fishing. While there, we saw some cliffs towering over the lake about 400' above the water. In years past I have climbed a trail I know around the side and back of the cliffs. It is steep in a few places, but the trail is nowhere near the sheer drop of the cliff face and is perfectly safe. Naturally the boys wanted to go up the trail. The grandpa asked if I would be OK waiting on the shore with the boat, and I told him I'd come and bring up the rear slowly. Near the top, there was a stretch near the edge of the cliff. The young boys and grandpa walked that trail. I chose another way, farther from the edge because of footing and balance issues. Years ago I would have taken the shorter trail near the edge. No more. That is what I mean about risk management and doing what you can to mitigate risk. Life is full of risks but to eliminate all of it would make for a boring life. So Sandy keep on moving forward and good luck! Anyway, my coffee cup is empty, you'all know what that means.

Reminds me of the treatment I went to Canada for and paid out of my own pocket to get. The main thing is that it worked and was worth every penny. I assume you have looked at the saeboflex. It made my clenched fist of a hand work again, and costs much less. Good luck!

Sandy, As mentioned by others it is all about risk management. When I stroked I told Lesley if I was a couch potato the stroke would not have affected me since I can still click a remote. But since I carry a canoe and do other outside activities, I must get better. Yes I fall once in a while. I have fallen back on my parachute training in the military and do the "roll" parachutists are taught. Walking sticks also help. I now put rocks in the front of my canoe for balance when I am out alone. We all adapt and move on, not looking back. Glad to hear of the improvements, keep on keeping on!

Ken, so sorry for your loss. I know the pain, lost mine to cancer after 28 years together. I have never forgotten a conversation she and I had when the end was approaching and we knew it. I asked her while she still had time, was there anything she still wanted to do that we hadn't gotten to? She thought it over for a bit then said "no, I think we have pretty much done everything I wanted to". I hope I can say the same when my time comes.

Well, here comes winter again. Just a few snow flurries so far, a promise of things to come. Lesley is back from New Zealand, mum's 90th party went well. Lesley is now immersed in putting up garden produce, apples from her annual trip with a girlfriend to Bayfield, Wisconsin. While she was gone I did 6 gallons of green beans and peas from the garden with Lesley's coaching. That is the limit of my gardening skills other than eating the results. She is also getting ready for deer hunting next month. Speaking of deer, we got a call from the local sheriff the other day asking if we wanted a fresh road kill buck. It was only a few miles from us and apparently not hit badly Went and got it, it was still warm and not in bad shape at all. The rest of the day was spent processing it. It is all in the freezer now, which takes the pressure off hunting, but we still would like one more for the winter. Lesley is getting very good at cleaning and processing them. I just do the donkey work, helping where I can. My successful summer of fishing is over, the freezer is full of walleye and bass, even some lake trout there somewhere. I am hoping to get out maybe one more time and get some late fall fresh walleye, it is supposed to get into the 50's this week, so if the winds allow I will likely try it one last time. The water temps are now in the 40's, so safety is the primary concern, any wind and I won't go. Life jackets this time of the year won't save you, just give you a few minutes to get to safety and make it easier to find your body.Don't worry, I stay close to shore and only fish shallow, small lakes that I know well this time of year. My big project while Lesley was gone was building a heated lean to on the end of our house for the ATV to park in. What I thought would take a week too a month, lifting all the sheets of plywood alone was more work than I thought it would be, but it is done now. I am really excited about next summer. Because of the success of this years canoe trip, we are planning two more next year. I have also made a friend on another forum that does similar things. He has a few health issues, is about my age, and has been looking for a trip partner, so we are pairing up for a week or so next June. On the stroke side of things, while working on the lean to I stopped my exercise program. I didn't have energy for everything, Now that that is finished I have been a bit lazy about starting it back. The shoulder soreness and arm/hand spasisity are starting to return, so tomorrow I will start it again. Don't want to lose what I have gained. Well I must go now and help Lesley move her deer hunting tree stand to another tree. Just one final thing. As the gizmo, gadget guy, I love to see a simple, well designed product. I have been helping Lesley peel apples with an apple peeler. Most amazing thing. It peels, cores, and cuts all with a few turns of a crank. Love it! Bye for now.

Sandy, you are correct about him going on medicare after two years of disability. He will then have his part "B" medicare premium deducted from his disability check, currently about $100 a month. You are also correct that the new health insurance law does away with pre-existing conditions for all in two years. Unfortunately, there is no free lunch, expect premiums for all to go up even faster and more than they have been. I used to sell health insurance and I can tell you that you haven't seen anything yet that will compare to the premiums then. Of course, the upcoming elections might just change it all, maybe for the better, maybe make it worse. The more politicians change the insurance laws supposedly to make it "better" the more the laws governing the insurance business become like our tax code. Hows that working out for everybody?

Cat, since I am often out in the woods fishing alone far from cell phone coverage, etc, bleeding is constant concern of mine and Lesley. There are several products available to help this problem, new skin for one and some others as well. Having some of it on hand is not a bad idea. I am never far from it no matter where I go. Cabelas outdoor stores and I am sure others have some skin patching stuff in foil packets for just the type of injury you described. I would look into it, especially when Mike starts riding his motorcycle again.

Sue, so sorry to hear of your loss. I know the feeling of losing someone with a lingering medical issue, as my first wife finally lost her six year battle with breast cancer. You will likely get a lot of advice on how and how long to grieve, but just like strokes, each of us grieve in our own way and in our own time. I know you gave your best and I also know you will feel like maybe you could have done more. Don't you believe it dear, you did the best you could at the time just like Ray did. Know that he is in a better place and in perfect health now. Take whatever comfort in that that you can. God Bless!

I am not a real fan of lawyers, but at this point I would contact one to see why all the options and consequences were not fully explained to you. Good luck.

Cat, Don't beat up on yourself for thinking of possible options. Using this forum as a sounding board is on of the many great things this forum is good for. Sounds like you have talked it out with yourself and have come to a decision. Blessings on you and Mike!

Cat, You said the grand daughter did not ask to be born. True enough. But Mike did not ask to have a stroke either. As a stroke survivor myself I can tell you having a child around all the time would be the end of my marriage. A few hours and that is it now days.Life is not fair for sure. It sounds like to me you are trying to be all things to everyone. I would suggest letting a few things go and focus on what is really important to you. My wife Lesley is guilty of the same thing, she is gradually weaning herself off that. Let the adults, children or not, in your life deal with their own messes. It is the only way they will ever learn. Mike needs you now. If he is the love of your life now is a good time to prove it.

Bob, you might try a muscle stimulator. The VA gave me one it is more than an estim. It masks the pain while you are using it so that you can actually exercise. It then has a deep muscle stim mode that really helps. The first few days I used it the pain immediately returned when I took the thing off. Over the period of a few weeks, the length of pain free time got longer and is now gone.

Sue, the hills you climb everyday are taller than anything I could ever hope to conquer. Lesley says "hi" from "down under". She has mum's actual birthday party done with, but has the big celebration Sep 8. That one will be about 50 people.

Congratulation! Keep up the good work, the rewards will eventually follow.

Fred, you are so right about this being a great time of the year. After a warm muggy summer by our standards anyway, I am glad to see it go. The sweaty 80+ days have given in to dry 70's and 60's. I love it, looking forward to winter soon. We already have some early leaf color, snow will soon follow (I hope anyway). The fishing here is winding down, and a good season it has been. Still a bit of fall fishing to do then plowing snow!

Sandy, yes it can hurt a bit but it is a "good" hurt. You can feel the muscle uncoiling and know that it is helping. I found the key was for me to then keep forcing myself to do the motions required to not lose what had been gained. Sometimes the wife had to help with certain motions and a bit of encouragement. The more you do the less spasisity there is.

Cat, Sorry I missed your question about what active release is. Do a google search for a provider in your area. It is a physical therapy on steroids as I call it. It made my arm stop curling up against my chest. I now have about 95% arm movement back to prestroke. The treatment hurts, caused bruising and pain, but the results were immediately worth it. I pushed my provider to get on with it and not be easy on me. I promised him I wasn't going to sue the socks off him if he hurt me for a moment. He did hurt me for a few minutes, I never sued him because of the pain, I did go back for a total of 10 treatments which cost me about $50 each time. Insurance did not cover it. Between active release and the saeboflex my arm and hand came back rapidly. I did both during the same time period. I was possessed to get better so I could carry my canoe again. You can see the results on my gizmo, gadget guy blog.

Cat, I just looked at the saebo.com website. After going there click on the saeboflex picture. Then click on the small red circle that says "try it free". There will be info on a session in Columbia, SC in early Oct 2012. I looked into the bioness systems but they were expensive and the insurance did not pay for them. Being a mechanical guy, I liked the look of the saeboflx as it is a purely mechanical thing I can adjust and understand. I did try the walkaid also, but just felt the improvement was not worth the hassle of wearing it. I think for foot drop the carbon fiber AFO is more practical and easy to use. I do know where Westminister is, I used to sell insurance all over SC. I would urge you to find a way to try one. It sounds to me that with the progress he is already making he would really benefit from one. It sounds like he is farther ahead now than I was at the same point. When I got my saebo I had virtually no finger movement at all. All I had was a clenched fist. You can also call Saebo at 888-284-5433 and see what you can work out. Good luck and please keep us informed!

Cat if he has made as much progress in two months as you describe, some work with the saeboflex and he will be using his hand again. I was told in rehab that I might not carry my canoe again. Six months later I carried it. The first time it snowed here after my stroke I had to have the wife operate one side of the snowblower, since I could only operate one side. What a sight we made walking down our 1000 ft driveway together behind the snowblower. By the end of that first winter I was blowing the driveway by myself again. He is showing enough improvement already to make good progress soon, just get on with it!!

Hey catbleu where in SC are you at? I lived in Lexington 17 years before moving to MN and still visit friends there from time to time. Once the hand gets better, to improve coordination get a set of Lincoln Logs for coordination and Tinker Toys for dexterity. I did both and now am able to build with my beloved Erector Sets again. They are metal construction toys from the 1950's.