ksaul

Stroke Survivor - female
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  1. ksaul

    we made it!

    By ksaul,

    i have really missed being on site this last week or so. i was sad to learn louise has had serious setbacks and very happy to learn of donna's procedure success! while catching up i noticed that quite a few people are having some down times. maybe caused by post holiday exhaustion and boredom with bad weather perhaps? i feel as if i have been living in a spinning top. stuff, more stuff, fast, faster --never stopping. i can honestly share with everyone that i did, in fact, pack my brain. i know it is in storage somewhere and i can only hope it is climate controlled!
     
    our house closing in florida came off without a hitch and and we were on the road a half hour after signing papers. the only difficult part for me in leaving florida was saying good-bye to some really terrific people. we plan we stay in touch and have already made some plans to see one another. it took us a total of three days to drive from florida to cape cod. the animals were quite good - the cats were whinney but then thats cats for you. the really funny thing was when we would stop for the night. exhausted, we would crawl into bed and soon the dog would follow positioning herself between barry and me. we were then joined by the two cats who would spread themselves out in the most comfortable manner for them - over both of us. it was impossible to move and our furry kids had no intention of adjusting their positions --not even one inch. with thier imobilization plan enforce the furry ones could sleep assured thier humans would not escape in the night leaving them to survive the wilds of south carolina or someplace equally terrifying. getting the cats in their carriers each morning proved a daily challenge - tricks, sweet talk and treats did not encourage cooperation on their part. all in all the human travellers in this small circus did pretty well - we all still love each other and are on speaking terms. the weather was great for travel - we did get lost around philly - but after some rather heated discussions found the turnpike. cape cod, our destination, had been hit with a nor'easter the day before our arrival and we were :yikes: greeted with 12-14 inches of snow and 20 degree temps. kathy, you are not in florida anymore.
     
    we are now somewhat settled in our son's condo and in hot pursuit of finding affordable one level housing. i do not think the housing market woes have hit this area and so we are doing some real looking. i am so grateful we lived here for almost thirty years and know the area. so, i am trying to pace myself as i am totally pooped out. here is hoping for a good little house to be found soon --kathy
  2. ksaul
    yes, today is moving day. in a few hours all our stuff will be gone and only the final house cleaning and last good-byes to be said. i have spent the last last 10 days saying good-bye to my friends and former co-workers. reflecting on my 4 plus years in florida it is here the stroke demon struck and here i have been blessed with getting to know some very good and interesting people making many new friends. tonight we will stay in a motel and tomorrow sign house papers and begin our road trip home. it has all happened so quickly! like life - we blink and suddenly the time is gone.
    please wish us good driving weather and remember us in your prayers for a safe journey. i will get back on line at andy's condo - until then....... :scooter: .kathy
  3. ksaul
    dorothy had the right idea when she clicked her heels to get home to kansas. :out_of_here: too bad i don't have any shoes with heels much less red ones!. we leave for the frozen north in 4 days! i am NOT looking forward to the days of driving (really riding) and so hope for decent weather. i bought a "calming" spray for my cat's carriers and pray it works. they are very naughty and noisey travelers. maybe i will take the sedative and let them howl! ( lol )the house has an echo with all our books packed up and i feel we have already started our new adventure. our son arrives on tuesday and we will begin the final tasks that need doing. what a great guy to spend his vacation time helping out the "old folks." :thumbup:
    i have made some super friends here in florida during my 4+ years and we have been getting together to say bye for the time being. they took me to a cute play in tampa on wednesday night and last night we all went to see some chinese acrobats. AMAZING! needless to say i am not great at public or evening events but i had the best time. i am so,so exhausted from everything but i figure i will recuperate. i will miss my friends here but i am looking forward to seeing my MA girlfriends. i rarely loose touch with people i care about - after all, what would a woman do without good girlfriends? :chat: kathy

  4. ksaul
    so long to 2007 and howdy to the possibilities that 2008 will offer. looking back at the year i see how far i have come in accepting my stroke. yep, i have had a few melt downs but i am beginning to see my core self again. i have never, ever done anything the simple way and stroke is no different. of course i have always expected the maximum from myself - hey perfection - and i wanted to be the perfect stroke survivor. NO CAN DO! sometimes i am strong and sometimes i just feel sorry for myself. i read the pain management article in january's newsletter and i am so grateful to lin. it was a great essay. we do the best we can and give ourselves a break when we are less than perfect
    as many of you know my husband and i put our house on the market 3 weeks ago. it was barry's wish to move back to the frozen north - his anger at the stroke and the affect on his life has been tough for both of us. he felt returning to cape cod would help him in many ways. our kids and grandson are there as well as 28 years of friendships (we will not go into the issue of the move to florida - which he thought would be a great adventure ) i think i can be content most anywhere and i have been more than willing - if scared - to move back north. we did all the house things sellers do to prepare for the real-estate market. the sign went up and on new year's day we accepted a decent offer. :Clap-Hands: the inspection is saturday and baring any great problems we head for the north on 1/25/08. i am stunned the house sold so quickly given the market. i keep looking for quiet and routine in my life and have come to realize it is not in my stars.
    the frenzy around here is not to be described. at times i just wander in the land of boxes and stuff. my furry family of sasha(dog) bella and merlin(cats) look at me with dazed eyes. i gaze back with loving and dazed eyes. :juggle: my son is flying down to help with the driving i can't do anymore and he says it will be the coolest fun driving north together. i have to smile at his enthusiasm and agree! wheeeee......! :laughbounce: kathy
  5. ksaul

    a yank at my boot straps!

    By ksaul,

    well, it was a quiet christmas here in safety harbor but i really enjoyed reading about everyone's holiday hustle and bustle. it was great hearing about the snow some people were having, the joy donna and her daughter experienced as they celebrated with family, kimmie's happiness at having both of her sons and pets home to celebrate, bonnie's unceasing energy(bill's unceasing appetite), phyliss' mixed holiday review and on and on. so many people at strokenet - many i have yet to know have touched my life this past year. i found joy in a member's recovery progress, felt the tentative reaching out a newbie and wondered at the love and support of caregivers. i found chat to be the coolest thing and only wish i could remember who is who! the virtual christmas party was my holiday event and i loved the sense of creativity and humor the party goers brought to the bash.
    that said, i am glad to say good-bye to 2007. i have been in a funk lately and posted a few weeks ago regarding how crappy i felt and generally did a huge whine. the support i got from everyone was reassuring and i knew i was not alone. tonight,before i started to write this blog, i read the message board posts, other blogs and realized i needed to find my bootstraps and give them a big yank upwards! part of my recent depression is once i passed the two year stroke mark i began to realize this stroke thing is not going away! stroke is here to stay and i need to get a grip. i can list the issues that keep me down - fatigue, pain,lack of mobility, useless parts on my left side, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH! sometimes i have been so angry because i took such good care of myself pre-stroke - and other times i have been overwhelmed with sadness as i see my husband try to hide his anger at the situation. i can go around and around yet always return to the fact i had a stroke. so, for me 2008 is about acceptance and getting to know the new kathy. the key, for me, is to learn to take life as it comes - live in the moment and to laugh whenever i get the chance. of course i won't do it perfectly - i'm just human!
    i wish you all a blessed new year! kathy
  6. ksaul
    well, leave it to kids to remind us of the spirit and wonder of the season. too often, as adults ,we can be so rushed with the responsibility of daily life that the holidays just bring additional "to do" lists and stress. i know pre-stroke i had the gift lists, mailing deadlines, baking activities, card lists, party list - blah, blah,blah. i loved it! by the end of december i was exhausted,happy and looking forward to the new year. :yay: i have found it harder to get into the holiday spirit since my stroke and like many i am dogged by a never ending fatigue, a true discomfort in groups and a burning desire for routine and quiet. so, today my husband was walking our dog in the neighborhood. it was chilly -he had his red flannel shirt and red vest on - i know, is was 63 degrees - but this is florida and it seemed cold! adding to this picture is that barry, my hubby, has a beautiful head of white hair and a beard that nearly matches.. well, he came home from his walk with a big smile. it seems noah, our neighbor's grandson(age 4) had thought barry was santa. noah out playing had spotted barry coming down the block and started jumping up and down yelling "hi santa" hi santa" and ran over to hug barry! later, noah's grand dad came over and told us how thrilled noah was to see santa had a dog. i think this all came about as noah had joined neighborhood children the previous night sitting on blankets, sipping hot chocolate, waiting for santa to drive by in his big red fire engine. every year our local firemen drive through the neighbohoods blaring their sirens with santa waving and throwing candy. :reigndeer: it is big event for safety harbor kids and so noah knew santa was in town! later i sent some magical reindeer food over to noah's grandma so santa's team would have a snack when santa was eating cookies and milk on christmas eve night. so, imagination and a child's belief gave this household a real gift of joy and a wonderful injection of smiles.
    otherwise, the week was one of fatigue and trying to deal with it. i had my oral surgery this past monday and found that 7 stiches do not keep me from eating ice cream! lol !! i attended quite a bash with my cyber family and friends on friday! :ChristmasTree: i had no idea what fashion plates i was hanging out with and the food and drink was the best. i never cease to be amazed at the humor and imagination of my friends.
    i was productive in that i finally submitted a short story and a few short poems to lin for the feburary newsletter. i also found 26 cents to add to the family coffers. so, ho! ho! ho! wishing you all the joy of the seaon. :santa: kathy
    p.s.(magical reindeer food consists of a small amount of oatmeal, a few chocolate chips and some glitter - reindeers love it)
  7. ksaul

    queen for the day!

    By ksaul,

    well, since i already joined the 100 club this week i will just add the exciting news that i will be getting a new crown - tooth type - on monday. along with this i also get to have one tooth removed. my bridge fell out on thursday as i was eating cake. now, i know for sure, cake is not my friend! when i told my husand and gave him the dentist's estimate he said - merry christmas. i do have a plan to defray the cost. since my coin business has not been going too well this week (i think everyone is spending their change) i have decided to put my old bridge - with the two beautiful perfect faux teeth- under my pillow for the tooth fairy. i bet they are worth something. the kid next door got $5 for his tooth. cripes we got a dime when i was a kid. i told my husband my plan and , as usual, he just rolled his eyes. :head_hurts:
     
    not much is going on in the housing market - things are really dead. i hope we get some interested people after the holidays. i went back to the pain clinic and am trying some new hip injections - keeping my fingers crossed.
     
    i had a real and total melt down earler this week and posted a major whine. people were real supportive and i was grateful but embarresed for being a cry baby.
    i do however, cry way lots these days and am thinking of asking my doc about all this boohoo stuff.
     
    so, i am grooving on the 100 list info - i am a real nosey parker.
     
    also, i have given up the battle with verison dsl :Tantrum: and am having cable internet put in on tuesday . so Ho!Ho!Ho! :santasmiley: kathy
     
  8. ksaul

    my 100

    By ksaul,

    1. I was born in the Midwest
    2. I was raised in Colorado
    3. I have one sister and one brother
    4. my sister is my best friend
    5. I am the first born child
    6. my father is a Lutheran minister
    7. I am not religious but consider myself a spiritual person
    8. I respect what other people believe
    9. My middle name is grace(ha ha)
    10. I fell off a ladder when cleaning my house and broke my leg and knee
    11. I have been married more than once
    12. I have two step children I adore
    13. I have one grandson who is a delight
    14. I have two cats and a dog
    15. I love the sound my dog makes when drinking from her water dish
    16. my cats have me well trained
    17. all my pets were rescued
    18. I was in the navy for 4 years
    19. my rank was petty officer 2nd class when I left
    20. I was an aircraft mechanic in the navy on F14s
    21. I got hit on the head while in the navy and knocked out with a propeller being repaired (1st head injury)
    22. I was in the reserves for three years after my enlistment
    23. I used the GI bill to go to college
    24. I got my degree in social work
    25. before college and the navy I worked as a house cleaner, waitress, made donuts and a bank teller
    26. I was when I got my first job with A&W root beer as a carhop
    27. my husband was a English teacher for 32 years at our local community college
    28. I often wish I had been a teacher
    29. I worked with children and families for 20 years in MA
    30. I worked as a health inspector in Florida for three years
    31. I was tying my shoes when I had my stroke
    32. I like things tidy
    33. I love lists
    34. I do not feel comfortable around negative people
    35. my sister and I talk every day on the phone
    36. I do not like knick knacks
    37. I do not like crowds
    38. I have grown fond of TV since my stroke
    39. I love detective shows
    40. I shun medical drama
    41. I love books
    42. I just finished the Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon
    43. my favorite poet is Emily Dickinson
    44. I have to read at night before I can fall asleep
    45. I am pro-choice
    46. I have an extensive collection of cool beach glass
    47. I have socks for every event and holiday
    48. I do not like to shop
    49. my car is 13 years old and that is cool with me
    50. I am a poor cook
    51. I love the ocean and the variety of color in the water
    52. I like to walk on the beach
    53. I love sunsets when the evening air is soft
    54. I am known for my goofy sense of humor
    55. my favorite clothes are sneakers,T-shirts and jeans
    56. I never take a bath
  9. ksaul
    well, it was a disappointing week as far as my efforts to generate additional income. only 4 pennies ALL week. i am sure however that each one is a lucky one! my husband dragged me ( almost literally) to walmart on tuesday to check out some object he wanted. i can't even remember what it was as i felt like a deer caught in the headlights after a few minutes in the store. my idea of shopping is the internet and my idea of a venture away from my safe little home is my local library. oops - i got side tracked about my extra income activities -so, as i hobbled in the parking lot i was scanning furtively for a big find - my husband knew right away what i was doing and told me to knock it off and pay attention to where i was going. i was quite annoyed until i missed the curb with my cane and went lurching madly towards the salvation army bell ringer. hubby caught me by my belt loops before i crashed. it was a close call but i intend to continue the search for easy money but with a bit more finesse.
    on a fun note, i got a flat stanley in the mail this week from a little girl i knew up north. stanley is a book character about a little boy who got flattened by a board. even though he is flat he wanted to visit california so his parents put him in an envelope and mailed him off for his visit. now, kids at schools send him out to unsuspecting adults for a visit and we are to show stanley a good time while he learns about the place we live in. we then send stanley back with a discriptions, information etc about the visit. well, of course i focused all my energy for two days on stanley's visit. i shrunk him down and took off his long pants, shirt and tie and dressed him in shorts ,ballcap and summer shirt cause i live in florida and it is still stinking hot! anyhow, we visted sea world, disney world, went surfing,fishing and such. i put it all in a small picture book and sent it off. i was always a bit of an over achiever and i wanted an A for this project!
    i have been enjoying my visits to the chat rooms and am grooving on getting to know people better. i have to say that while i know serious issues are often talked about in chat i look forward to the silly and funny stuff. each day is such a challenge between the brain issues, pain and mobility that i thank the gods and goddesses for the gift humor. when i venture out into the world i am amazed at how many grumpy people are out there.
    i have been very tired lately - more so than usual. i started some new anti seizure meds and that combined with all this house hullabaloo has me exhausted! then i went to the cardio doc - they found all in good order (yeah) but i have put on the pounds! after he read me the riot act i thought okay and pulled out the weight watchers material. what a drag - but my underwear is getting snug so i best knuckle down!
    the holidays are a bit hard for me cause since my stroke my parents and brother don't contact me much. maybe they just feel uncortable but it still hurts. i am so grateful for my sister's love and the support of my friends and of my cyber family here at strokenet. i will have to groove on these positive thoughts as the holiday season begins! cheers! kathy
  10. ksaul

    my life as a pin cushion!

    By ksaul,

    [b]well, thanksgiving is over and it was a very good day. i feel like i should be providing juicy details but honestly it was just a lovely day - not even any family dramas! i do need to report that this weeks's search and rescue actvity of loose change on the ground was not nearly as productive as the previous week. i did, however, add 11 cents to my income. i highly recommend doing this as you can experience a tidbit of joy when finding these lost coins.
    my big activity this past week was doctor's office visits - hence my titillating blog title. this week i was able to experience the thrill of two blood tests, five botox injections(i am sad to report they were all on my shoulder,arm and hand and NONE for my face), my weekly visit to the pain clinic got me two injections in my hip and the dentist gave me one for a filling. i am happy to say i was a very brave girl as i experienced my medical travels. i am sure that if i can ever get my medical issues under control i could save a fortune on my co-pays and, along with my change rescue activity, i would really be in the money! haha!!!
     
    one another note, we believe we finally have our house ready for the market. it is amazing how much stuff two people can accumulate - and we are not "thing" people or knick knack lovers. our realtor is stopping by tomorrow and i would say i am on pins and "needles" (but i won't) and we will see where we stand. the kids want us back in MA and we want to go. not only to be closer to them but to see our our adorable grandson who is 18 months old. things have a way of working out and so i am not gonna get my knickers in a twist over the whole issue. but honestly i hope it all works out for us to go back home.
     
    i continue to groove on my chat hours and try to get to other chats as well. now that the house is ready i hope to have more energy for the things i enjoy like, strokenet chats, reading other member's blogs, reading my favorite books and water exercise. i still am not sure how i made through my first year post stroke without strokenet for support. i guess things happen when we are ready. i will say that there is not a day that goes by that i do not feel stronger in knowing that i am not alone in the journey of recovery. i am lucky to have found this site. i guess there are all sorts of "luck" out there in our big universe - personally, i could go with some lottery luck - now would that not be cool? well, i am off to take a nap - i wish everyone a happy week full of peace, health and joy. cheers! kathy
  11. ksaul

    another week in paradise

    By ksaul,

    it has been a busy and scarey week for me. we are working hard to get our house ready to go on the market so we can leave the warm paradise of florida and move back to the frozen north.this requires somes hard work(painting, re-mulching,super cleaning/) and i feel angry and sad that i can't do the work i used to do. these feelings come and go and i try not to dwell on them, but at times i would like to pitch a fit. i don't - i just try to stay focused and in the moment. of course i worry about the housing market and our timing, but we are moving cause we want to be back with our kids and grandchild so there is not the pressure of "we must" move. if it takes a year that's okay. plus i have good friends here and my doctors are quite excellent.
    i had a real scare this week when my hubby,barry, came in from walking the dog and said he was having light flashes in his eyes. he did not feel sick and said he was just tired and wanted to go to bed. i, on the other hand,was on high alert. that night after he went to sleep, i went into all the "what ifs "should something happen to him. he is older than me but has always been so healthy!!!! well, so was i until i stroked out of the blue. i get so scared sometimes at how i would live if he was not here with me. before my stroke i was so independent and made good money - i was planning for my retirement so i would always be secure. poof - all that went up in smoke in 2005. anyhow, after getting myself quite a upset i tried my breathing exercises and remembered that there really is not anything i can do other than hope for the best.
    the next morning the light flashes and arcs were still there so barry took himself off to the eye doctor - after two hours of tests he was told he was having ocular migraines and that he was fine. sometimes they are stressed induced but never life threatening. thank the god and goddessess for that! i asked barry if he was more stressed than usual - and he just said there is too much going on. he left it at that. knowing how he is about this kind of stuff i backed off. i will try to keep an eye on him while he is keeping an eye on me! now that should be interesting!
    on another note, i have found a way to increase my income , i have noticed that when i go somewhere with my cane i spend time looking down(so i won't fall). on my few adventures out i have found alot of change on the ground. today i went to the drugstore on my own and found 43 cents! i came home and told barry and we had a good laugh.
    on friday i saw the doctor and got my botox shots. i have to go back in 6 weeks so he can do my shoulder and scapula. i am anxious for the stuff to kick in as my arm and hand are in dire need. i always laugh after these procedures thinking my arm and hand have now been cosmetically enhanced. they are so lovely! lol
    that is about it for my week. the weather here in florida has turneed cold(haha) and it is 47 degrees out. my neighbor is walking her dogs in a ski parka,gloves and earmuffs. goes to show you how people respond differenly to situations. my hubby is still in shorts! well, the coffee calls.......kathy