ksaul

hey bob, spring IS right around the corner. i am looking forward to getting out too. it is strange how we can have these super great, get things done, feel good days and then bam! we are down for the count. like you, i am still learning patience and i am not too patient about the learning! lol volunteering is good for us - like you said we are all human beings and have made mistakes. addiction is a terrible curse....remaining non-judgemental is tough. i hope the person who wants the mechanic job does it. gotta have faith! cheers - kathy

RLT, wow, i would be feeling black and blue too. i can only speak for myself, but i would stay out of that "friends" way. saying you are doing things wrong when in the middle of a crisis is not being a friend or trying to help! i hope you will keep using this site for support and share with a member of a stroke group locally, a spiritual advisor or another friend. please do not submit to this abuse - tell her to stop - that she is not helping. i hope that your husband is doing better and i am sending you a hug! :friends: kathy

hi kimmie, you are so right, things change and it is hard to see it happening - even when we know it is for the best - like for your dad. i know you have a picture of your family farm - have you ever thought of just sitting quietly and writing down some of your memories? it would be something for you now to help process the change and maybe later for grandkids. you also might remember some cool stuff and want to share with your dad and sibs. anyhow, my thoughts are with you - i do so wish we had more control over the events of our lives - illusions never stop huh? take care... :friends: kathy

yeah donna! :Clap-Hands: i am so thrilled about your progress! you are right to just forgot the old doc who does not believe in the strength of the human spirit and recovery. i once had a very smart neuro doc who was honest and said medicine just does not understand the brain yet - we are still in the dark ages in a way. he felt most anything is possible in recovery and you proved it. survivors on this site prove it every day too. now, beware of lili - i think she may have some sort of special kitty powers --lol--never heard of a kitty returning a ball. cheers! kathy

it has been ages since i blogged and i really missed the satisfaction of sorting through thoughts as i wrote. even more, i missed catching up each week with my cyber familiy. the move from florida to new england is finished complete with horror story about the moving company --but i won't bore you with details. we were blessed to find a great little one floor condo in a very small 55+ community. we ended up right over the cape cod bridge so i can no longer say i live on the cape but merely say the cape area! snooty! we did a lot of looking but the prices were way beyond our budget for what my husband kept refering to as " a dump". there are still boxes galore in ever room and nope, i have not unpacked my brain yet. actually i am just thinking of leaving it wherever it is.......in the mean time i am fighting my type a tendencies to get everything done, organized and perfect. i honestly wonder if i will ever learn. i am so tired my eyeballs hurt - the move has really thrown me in all seriousness. i was doing okay in my small little florida world and then boom.....moving is what living in a wal-mart must be like. everything is new, nothing where it belongs, new people, doctors etc. i have been reminded and, quite rudely, of my mental and physical deficits. when i get right down to it i loved being in my comfort zone and i know i fooled myself into thinking i was pretty much okay much of the time.........this has beena bit like being confronted again with acceptance .......now i ramble....... we have seen our kids, and our beautiful grandson connor, many times over the last six weeks and i would make the move again to live near our family.....why did we ever go to florida anyway.....ah yes, winter. well, winter is okay with me as long as i can have those connor hugs and kisses! cheers! kathy

hi all, i love fridays as that is the day i try to set aside to read everyone's blog and get caught up on many of my cyber friend's lives. it is snowing to beat the band outside as i write this and i know - like perry - i am going to be a shut in for a bit. it really is lovely - especially when viewed from inside. not too much happening here. we have two weeks till we close on the new house. barry said we will take our time getting settled and then get the perfect things we will need. he knows how much my home means to me as i spend so much time in it nowadays. i am also looking forward to getting to know my new neighbors and making some new friends. then of course there is the thrill of getting to know a new library. yipeee. i must say given the state of the world i feel truely blessed to have a home and such a nice one at that. it is too easy to think about what we don't have and i am very grateful for how this move has turnned out i have loved staying here with andy. he has got me into this wii business and i can't say enough about it. it is great for the brain! last night we stayed up late - that's past 8pm for me - and played this totally stupid wii rabbit game. i can't do the two handed games but i give it a try.i can't remember having so much fun and just being relaxed. of course i am tired but who wouldn't be? i also am trying to take my pain meds when i need them and not feeling i have to be tough all the time - being tired and all the change has meant tears now and then but everyone has been right - much of the emotional up and down gets better with time. that is it for me - cheers! kathy

donna - 42 and 48 really spoke to me! i don't think i could do this type of list but i sure am glad you are..kathy

i had no idea the e. cleaver wrote that quote - we used it alot back in my old organizing days. anyhow - thanks for the blog. kathy

beth, i am so pleased to hear things are looking more positive on the home front. i believe that the fact you two are doing therapy (which is no picnic) says that you hit a huge pothole in your marraige and together you will make it through. it is cool you are going to cut back on your volenteering - sometimes doing less is more cause you have more to give when you focus. hope that makes sense. i still pray your headaches will let up. take care - kathy

bonnie, life is such a mix! i am glad to hear that john is feeling better and sorry to learn of your mother-in-law's cancer. it is good you have people to rely on while john is gone - i hope you don't meet with any obstacles during his abscence. it is soooo cool about the smoking - i am so proud that you would try again. while we miss you on line --if you can get away from your"triggers" then that is what you have to do. keep up the hard work - you are so strong i know you will meet with success this time. cheers! kathy

deenie, i am sorry to hear of your mom's passing. please take care of yourself - you and your family are in my heart and thoughts. kathy

bob, great blog! sounds like you are having fun and enjoying life. cheers! kathy

ken, yeah for you! i really enjoyed water therapy and look forward to getting back to it. i am glad you are going to go again - the simple resistence of the water makes us stronger and helps balance. i love the added plus of if i fall the only thing that could happen is a bad hair day! cheers! kathy

sue, as always i looked forward to your blog and your sharing of daily life and insights. you recently wrote of some of the good times and travel you and ray were able to share before this last stoke - i hope as you find your world growing smaller that these memories will help to sustain and comfort you. i cannot imagine how difficult it must be to see your life partner fade. while ray is at camp enjoy your time and kick your heels up a bit. kathy

hi cathy, was happy to read such a positive and full of hope and good times blog! can't wait to hear about your trip and party! kathy

hi beth, it is so cool to see you in blog world - thanks for sharing more about yourself. your posts are always so good i really look forward to reading your blog. kathy

sue, thank you for your post. i look foward to your blog each week and always come away with a better understanding of caregiving - not to mention some nugget regarding of living with a positive spirit. kathy

donna- a terrific idea and great list ---plus a way to share the strategies we have learned for coping. i think i too will think on what i have learned - beware. cheers! kathy

as i last posted we made our journey north with safety and success. we have spent the last week looking at houses - now, i thought this would be fun as i am a very nosey person. it turned out to be hard work getting down the condo stairs where we are staying and in and out of the car and into strange houses and then back up the condo stairs! i did not whine :bouncing_off_wall: i did not complain as i had a battle plan - find a house. it is amazing to me what realtors mean when they write "immaculate home", "well cared for ranch house" or"newly remodled condo". needless to say i was annoyed at what we saw and so we went up in price and one town over the cape bridge and bingo! we found our new abode. our offer was accepted on a 2 bedroom, one floor condo in a 55+ community. we see the bankers today - gulp! for a mortgage and have the inspection on tuesday. we hope to close on march the 6th. the place is everything i wanted and more - cheery, small and well set up for birdwatching. i feel truely blessed for finding this place and look forward to making it home. i got back to chat this week and had a few moments to check around the site. i so missed my cyber friends and reading postings. i have found that the move north has really increased my pain level and i am taking a bit more meds. last night it snowed and this morning it was -7 outside(big wind chill factor) i know stu and others would consider this balmy but i must now dig around for my polar fleece stuff! LOL yesterday morning the whole adventure caught up with my being and i had a long and painful cry, whined and generally felt overwhelmed. after about three hours of thinking i can't do this and other stuff i got my act together and did my sunday chat and - with my hubby's help- made a curry for dinner. it is true that the periods when we crash and burn become fewer and take less time as we progress in our recovery. i realized that i am not as scared as i used to be of the "down" times. i guess they are part of who i am now - anyhow thanks for letting me share - kathy

sue, as usual i read your blog with awe! i did not know your war on dust buddies extended to the entire house! :cleaning: i am sad that you had to be in pain for it to be realized you needed some help and a break. i am glad trevor was there for you - slow down when you can! :friends: kathy

george, great blog! so in your theory is it comet dust that creates dust bunnies? inquiring mind must know....cheers, kathy

hi jeannie, hope you are feeling better now. blogging is a great way to think things out, get emotions out and continue recovery! blog on! kathy

i have really missed being on site this last week or so. i was sad to learn louise has had serious setbacks and very happy to learn of donna's procedure success! while catching up i noticed that quite a few people are having some down times. maybe caused by post holiday exhaustion and boredom with bad weather perhaps? i feel as if i have been living in a spinning top. stuff, more stuff, fast, faster --never stopping. i can honestly share with everyone that i did, in fact, pack my brain. i know it is in storage somewhere and i can only hope it is climate controlled! our house closing in florida came off without a hitch and and we were on the road a half hour after signing papers. the only difficult part for me in leaving florida was saying good-bye to some really terrific people. we plan we stay in touch and have already made some plans to see one another. it took us a total of three days to drive from florida to cape cod. the animals were quite good - the cats were whinney but then thats cats for you. the really funny thing was when we would stop for the night. exhausted, we would crawl into bed and soon the dog would follow positioning herself between barry and me. we were then joined by the two cats who would spread themselves out in the most comfortable manner for them - over both of us. it was impossible to move and our furry kids had no intention of adjusting their positions --not even one inch. with thier imobilization plan enforce the furry ones could sleep assured thier humans would not escape in the night leaving them to survive the wilds of south carolina or someplace equally terrifying. getting the cats in their carriers each morning proved a daily challenge - tricks, sweet talk and treats did not encourage cooperation on their part. all in all the human travellers in this small circus did pretty well - we all still love each other and are on speaking terms. the weather was great for travel - we did get lost around philly - but after some rather heated discussions found the turnpike. cape cod, our destination, had been hit with a nor'easter the day before our arrival and we were :yikes: greeted with 12-14 inches of snow and 20 degree temps. kathy, you are not in florida anymore. we are now somewhat settled in our son's condo and in hot pursuit of finding affordable one level housing. i do not think the housing market woes have hit this area and so we are doing some real looking. i am so grateful we lived here for almost thirty years and know the area. so, i am trying to pace myself as i am totally pooped out. here is hoping for a good little house to be found soon --kathy

stu, anticipation of something good and fun is so great. it must feel a bit strange to try on sandals when it is freezing outside! enjoy the "prep" time and don't forget your camera! kathy

donna, so glad to hear all went well! i was concerned about you. kristi is a great helper - you must have given her fits when you snuck downstairs. i was sad that the pats losts. boohoo :Tantrum: but the giants did play a better game. still the pats had 18-0 season. nothing to be ashamed of. cheers! kathy