CagedBird

Hey I am not a caregiver but I do admire your strength. I wish I had someone who cared about me as much as you do your family. You are so strong and caring. Your blog caught my attention in the beginning because I miss work sometimes too. I was so great at school and being a student so after I graduated it was like well what do I do now? I understand how you feel about work too. With all of my doctor appointments and therapy sessions I just could not work up to my fullest potential as an employee. I miss my team of co-workers. I didnt love my job but I loved being able to say I had one. I miss the jokes and life lessons I learned from co-workers and regular customers. I have a degree in criminal justice but I definitely cant do any law enforcement work so once I decided I didnt want to pursue higher education my 4.0 gpa in criminal justice and sociology pretty much became useless. Its easy to say just go volunteer or pick up a new hobby but I understand how you feel when you're so busy you cant commit to volunteering and you have to have the free time and passion to start a new hobby. Well just want to say again you are strong and really appreciated. I guess your purpose right now is to be a caregiver and homemaker instead of employee.

i took a 2 hour nap after this blog and after I woke up it happened again. Here I am laying in bed at 1am trying to listen to music and do passive web surfing to not focus on it and it happened again! Im shaking all over and afraid to fall asleep

Thanks everyone. I still have faith and pray. Im just kind of frustated which the church and churchy people

Thanks its always great spending time with family

i dont hate my life and im grateful for a lot of things i just hate how my arm/wrist/fingers look and i hate the way i feel self conscious about it. I used to think I looked normal but as the spasticity worsened over the years and now that I go out more I realized that I do not look normal. My arm is bent my wrist is bent my back is bent and I walk like Im tired 24/7 (which I am). Its not about trying to make myself happy. I can feel happy but that doesnt change the despair I feel about my arm.

I have known him for 6 months. He said he asked me if I was okay but I kept asking him who he was. He said when I was "crying" it was kind of like what his mom did when she went into diabetic shock. He said he didn't know if it was safe for him to be here since I didn't know who he was and he didn't call the ambulance because he didnt know if this is something that usually happens in my sleep (he doesnt usually stay over). I was upset that he just left me and didnt leave a note or anything but this is the same guy that came to see me in the ER when i passed out on Easter so I think he does care.

sorry to hear of Dan. Thank you for all the advice you gave me. His story and experiences really helped me as a survivor. Thank you Dan R.I.P

Thanks Fred and Henry I really appreciate it!

Hi I just wanted to share my swimming experience. I did not enjoy the beach because the sand was hard to walk on with my AFO and tennis shoes on. Crocs were better (when there wasnt hard rocks getting caught between the bottom of my foot and the brace PAINFUL). I tried getting in my mom's pool one summer at her apartment complex. Getting in was pretty simple. I just sat down on a chair then lowered myself to the side of the pool and scooted into the water until my feet were touching the floor of the pool. I had on swimming shoes so I wouldnt hurt my toes if they curled. Getting out was a nightmare. I thought I would just climb up the ladder using my good hand and both legs BUT my weak foot decided to get scared and spaz out ofcourse my good leg started spazzing as well. My fear of falling back into the water mixed with my fear of taking the next step made both my feet lock up and I could not move. I had to get my mom and her apartment manager to lift me out. Not trying to scare you! just saying be careful, don't be afraid to ask for help, and don't freak out like I did if you find yourself in a scary situation. Just take your time and make sure there's someone around that can help in case of emergencies.

wow you are such a great caregiver! I wish I had someone around to do all those household things. I was so grateful just to have my parents come visit me a few weeks ago. My dad carried my groceries in the house, mom washed dishes, hung up clothes and helped me strap on the splint before bed. Kudos to you for being superwoman!

Hey Fred I never had surgery on my eyes. I am too afraid and with my left field vision gone, I don't know if surgery would make things better or worse. I dont have cataracts. I dont even know what that is lol but I have astigmatisms in both of my eyes. I have been wearing contacts since 10th grade but I just decided to go back to glasses since it will be cheaper for me without having to pay more for the contacts that correct the astigmatism. Contacts are convenient but they do not get along well with the pollen so I usually wear my glasses during this season anyway. glad your surgery went well!

Hi Fred congrats on your long membership journey here at Strokenet I never knew how you had your stroke so that story was interesting. Yes this message board has grown a lot since then. It's bittersweet.

Thank you guys so much. All your comments helped put a smile on my face. I am so glad for this site! You guys always know the right things to say I am glad I made this blog entry instead of keeping it to myself. It helped to read your comments every word

Wow sounds like a wonderful place to work. I wish I could work somewhere like that. You are very lucky.

wow this reminded me of when I had my first grand mal seizure. I was 11 years old playing outside at school. Everyone thought I was having a heat stroke but it was actually a seizure. Stuff happens you know. Don't blame yourself. It was just a lesson to remind you to pack him plenty of fluids from now on. I hope he feels better. I know it can take a while to fully get out of that "daze"

No offense but your daughter in law sounds like a witch. I would just talk to her in a nice way and see if she can be more considerate. I would hate to have someone rubbing it in my face that I cant wear cute shoes cause of my brace! I was 12 when I had the stroke so everyone was extra helpful the first few years but once I got in high school I pretty much wanted to do things on my own so naturally I quit asking for help and my family only helps if I ask. I know what you mean about crying over things you can't do but someday you will. I started out in bed, wheelchair, quad cane, and now can walk everywhere (up stairs down stairs, get myself in and out of big trucks). Things that I used to could not do or needed help with like sitting on the floor or hopping up on the bed in the doctors office, I can now do. So don't give up, one day you will look back and realize how much you have improved (with or without the help)

Wow I have never heard of that. Glad to hear you are okay though. Thank goodness for pain meds

I hate exercising. I always feel like Im doing it wrong or it is not helping. It is interesting though because I never realized my walking got better over the last few years. Just walking around campus was exercise I guess. I think exercise is more fun when you have a partner (not a PT that is just giving you some pointless exercise to keep busy for 45 minutes). If I had someone to exercise with or help me exercise I'd probably exercise more. I remember the last time I got in a pool at my mom's apartment complex. It was fun but when it was time to get me out of there I got scared my feet locked up trying to get up the step ladder and it took my mom and the apartment manager to pull me out. Very embarassing. Haven't got in a pool since

Sorry to hear about your fall. I lift my leg up so high I almost lose my balance sometimes trying to get in and out. It's funny because I purposely lift my leg extra high to keep from tripping on the tub. Luckily we have the tub where the bar is like in the wall and I have a portable handle that sticks to the other side of the wall. Be careful. Im glad you didn't get hurt too bad.

Remember He will never put more on you than you can bare. Sometimes I think He gives us these test just to see how strong we are and I hate it but lay your burdens down with Him and have faith. When it rains it pours but only He can fight your battles. Waiting sucks but when there is nothing else you can do, you can only wait for things to get better. You and your family are in my prayers

wow you're good. I wish I was better at bowling. The last time I went last month, I broke my nails, felt like I pulled a muscle in my good arm, and got in last place out of all my friends for every game (with the gutter rails). I wish there was a stroke group here so I wouldnt feel like such a loser! lol

Hey Fred I had it in 3 paragraphs but I went back and put it in 5 paragraphs. I hope that helps

yes Eva it was a PT at a physical therapy clinic but she is licensed in using the bioness.

wow you stay busy. I hate going to the grocery store when its busy. I never went when I had the cane. My dad would let me ride with him to the store but I would just sit in the car and wait. You eat so healthy. You make vegetables sound good! :laughbounce:

thanks you guys