wiremanranch

Stroke Survivor - male
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  1. wiremanranch

    Last Visit......

    By wiremanranch,

    Well I finished up with my psychologist last week. It was a good experience. He helped me look at the big picture. I approach things better now. I learned to accept things as they are. That I am accepting the new me. It took almost six years to figure that one out. :Scratch-Head: But I am a little slow. I am glad I did go. I had to complete a training class for a whole week at work. I was in a room all week for training, one on one training. My biggest fear was not allowing anyone to see my deficiencies and I was always trying to hide them, or worried someone would notice one. The training went well, I thought my memory would be an issue but it held up just fine. We covered allot of different material, robotics, motion control, interfaces. I did ok. I actually missed one day due to some other issue at work and I made it up last week. So it did not turn in to doom and gloom as I had thought. And , so what if I have a few things wrong with me. Who doesn't? Acceptance has set me free.
    Terry
  2. wiremanranch
    So it's spring right? I got up this morning to check the status of the winter storm. I looked at the driveway.... went out to our little township road..... Nope, I was not going to make it to work in my Honda Accord. So what else do I have to do? I'll clean the driveway. Hop on the tractor, and I begin to clean the drive. Snow is heavy so i am using the loader bucket. Got to the sidewalk to the back deck. Got stuck.... slid and hit the side of the house! Put a hole in the siding. Started fixing the siding. Siding fixed! I should have went to work!
    Terry
  3. wiremanranch

    Many trips

    By wiremanranch,

    We just got back from a Smokey Mountain trip with the entire family. We rented a cabin for our Christmas. Just happened to schedule in Feburary . It was awesome. Then somehow I got suckered in a cruise. A week latter. Turmoil for me. i am a planner. This trip a four day cruise to the Bahamas. My first cruise.( Maybe my last) ; ) I am going with my wife's side of the family. Of course i got the premium beverage package. So maybe some relieve. It is more of a gambling cruise, Alantas. I think I will go to Senor Frogs LOL . Hopefully my caretaker will not desert me or I might be a fallen soldier . LOL Either way the deck is stacked against me. I am not depressed. Just me. : ) Hopefully that drink package is all that it is supposed to be, or I am in trouble............ Wish me luck .
  4. wiremanranch

    From Can to Can't

    By wiremanranch,

    This is from the sound city soundtrack. Sound city was a recording studio back in the day before they went digital. All the legendary performers were there. They made a movie and a soundtrack , it is out this month. This is one song from the soundtrack. it has one little riff :goodjob: in it, But other then that it is a really neat song.Hopefully the link works
     

  5. wiremanranch

    2nd Visit

    By wiremanranch,

    Yesterday was my second visit to the psychologist . I went the first time and was a little taken back by him noticing that I had a slight speech impediment. (Which i do have) He sent me home with a cd and an appointment for a follow up in two weeks. I canceled the appointment, and later decided to reschedule. This session went better. It's all information gathering now. He is trying to figure me out. I think I could do myself but I am too deep in the woods and cannot see over the tree tops. i am 5 1/2 years post and still have not accepted me. The new me. I think the therapy with the relaxation techniques will help me manage some of my anxiety. And what will be tough is letting go of the old me and my expectations. I set the bar pretty high for myself and I know I am going to have to lower it . The scary part is this guy is starting to make a little sense now.
     
    Terry
  6. wiremanranch
    Ok I'm going to try.
    10 things I like about me
    1. I am dependable
    2. I am a planner.
    3. I stand up for what I believe in.
    4. I don't give up.
    5. I play to win.
    6. Keeping my word is important. ( I say what I do, I mean what I say)
    7. I value friendship.
    8. I value each moment
    9. I live life to the fullest.
    10. I am just a little tame. : )
     
    Done!
    Terry
  7. wiremanranch
    I went for the first time to meet a psychologist today.... very interesting. My wife went with me. I think it was more therapeutic for her then me. A little recent history of me. I have a really bad sinus infection, very congested, feel like crap. He is asking my wife more questions then me. Asked about the kids and what was going on in their life and then starts asking me a few questions. And out of the blue he blurts out "How long have you had this speech impediment". Really? He had a couple of strokes too and is on coumadin . He started talking about muscle relaxation. I told him I already heard about it on a support network on the web called Stroke Network. He asked me if that really helped. (He more or less was stating it would be more like a crutch.) I said yes, told him about Edmond Jacobson and his book. He gave me a cd and I told him he should check out Stroke Network. I think he was a little taken back that I knew who Edmond was and that I knew about progressive muscle relaxation.( Thanks Jamie!) He made a couple more appointments. Two weeks apart. I don't think this guy is right for me. I don't want a pity party but I don't need him to go after my irregularities right off the bat. I am disappointed. "I 'm under and over it" = Five Finger Death Punch LOL
  8. wiremanranch
    I am going to see a psychologist this week for my anxiety. i am getting tired of being medicated to deal with it. I had some type of what you would call a social anxiety pre stroke. Nothing to major. Just trouble talking in a large group settings and I had to give production status reports in our daily managers meeting which was around 50 people. This was basically the only time I felt anxiety. ( I still do the meetings) Now post stroke is allot different. I can not handle large crowds; the cafe at work was a real challenge, could not even walk in a store due to the crowds, my job is very noisy environment. I have never been depressed, just the anxiety is off the scale. I have managed my job and life for the past 5 years with zanax, it is extended release and I can tell when it is wearing off or maybe I just basically addicted. Even on the zanax I still have anxiety attacks. I think I can manage it better. Hopefully seeing this guy will give me some different ways to reduce my anxiety and deal with it better then just taking medication. I am going to a least give it a try.
    Terry
  9. wiremanranch
    My first experience with a motorcycle was when I was in my mid 30's. i always wanted a Harley but since i did not know how to ride a motorcycle my wife convinced me of getting a used bike to at least learn on then get the Harley. Sounded like a pretty good idea too me. So I bought a bike. A small 750cc honda... in mint condition. I got my temporary license, tags, insurance. I am ready to roll. I went down the road a few times. Pretty straight shot. ( no curves) My friends wife stopped over, my wife suggested I give the kids a ride... huh? .... no I was not comfortable with that. So I took off from the house. Got to the first serious curve and hmmm,,, I did't lean very good. It was kinda like a sharp curve but it had a side road. So I ended up going straight. Missed the stop sign.... Good. So I thought it was just a fluke kinda thing so I continued. There was a S curve ahead. I basically could have stayed in the center of the road and would have been ok. But as it turned out I was on the right side and had to lean again. Did not work out so well that time. I hit a huge ditch bank... Of course when I hit, I blew off the handle bars. Kinda looked like superman. I continued to roll and roll and roll. The whole time I was thinking this is gonna hurt. I ended up missing the fence, a bunch of trees and had allot of grass stains. Went to the nearby farmhouse. Asked to use the phone, the older lady looked like i should have called 911. I called the wife and said "the bike broke down" well it did.... she was a little upset when she arrived with my trailer. (With our best friends wife) I tried to roll it on but I couldn't. The older gentleman came with his tractor and helped me load it on the trailer with his loader tractor. He said this reminded him of something he did when he was my age. Of course I said "Oh yeah you wrecked your bike too.... No nothing like that ... he was hauling a freezer and it fell out the back of his truck, in town and he had to recruit some people from the local tavern to help him load it.I did't know where he got that from, as it had nothing to do with me wrecking my bike. I will never know. But it was entertaining. I ended up putting a new front end on the ol' bike. Got it fired up and proceeded to take off down the road.... 55 mph felt like 100mph. So I gave up my dream of riding a motorcycle until I had a stroke..... And that is another story.......
    Terry
  10. wiremanranch
    Hmm.... Ok I stepped out a little with my first blog. A milestone to say the least. I have been cutting a little wood.. well splitting allot of wood. It is killing me. I had 4 trees cut down because they were a little aged. Of course I said I would keep the wood.... bad choice. I have spent three.... three days splitting wood. Not at all what i would consider fun. Do not remotely enjoy it. I would have to say i hate splitting wood. I had one maple tree that had a least a 6 foot trunk. My chainsaw has a 20 inch bar...... Of course I am going to use this stuff when I go camping. And I will remember how much pain it caused but relish in the fact that I will have the best campfire next year. Might take a few weeks to heal up.... but I can't wait until spring. Hopefully I did this blog right. LOL I'm trying.