Hi Mary.....
I would say that you've taken the first step to break out of the negative feelings and emotions by coming out of lurkdom and bouncing it off of others....
Most of us, if not all, have been where you are at.....Everybody's situation is a little different, but there's lots of things that are the same....
Let's face it, you are stuck with this thing....Just as I am stuck with my scenario and so forth....
Once ya accept that, then you can take it apart and start fixing it.....
And believe it or not, you will find out that you are the most powerful and effective force in dealing with it.....
Don't hesitate to reach out again if needs be, because you've just signed on to one of the toughest jobs you're ever going to have....
The rewards are outstanding....