spyglass

Hi spyglass,

 

I'm a fellow caregiver, Sue, caregiver to Ray who had strokes in 1990 (went back to work six months after that one) 1999 (x2) those retired us, me to look after him, 2001, 2005.

 

Like Deloris Ray has some cognitive non-functions, described here as vascular dementia, not a lot of memory, long term or short term now but some days he seems to be able to remeber, other days not.

 

Like you we just do day-to-day but I do have a framwework for our days and weeks and I do make a big effort to keep up with social and church happenings and the couple of other groups we belong to. Ray is 65 and needs to do what people of his age normally do, as long as I am able to enable him to do that.

 

Caregiving is a hard, stressful, often frustrating sometimes thankless job but it is the working out of that expression "till death us do part" and a way of showing your love for your partner in a unique and special way.

 

Welcome to blogging, I have had a blog here for over two years (Sue's Sentiment) and reading back over the blogs give me a lot of insight into where we have been, what we have done etc.

 

 

All we can do is do our best.

 

Sue.

Hi Sue--

Thanks for the welcome and the note. Deloris seems to have a routine, revolving around Adult Day Care programs at our local senior center three times a week, twice weekly sessions with a personal trainer, lots of naps, crossword puzzles and movies on DVD. Thank goodness for Netflix. We see friends socially about once a month; it's about all she can handle. I try to do better with my own social life. I am also active on the board of several local community organizations that I have convinced to meet at my house. I have a small group of caregivers who come in once a week or so, to give me a break. They are professionals, but came to me as friends of friends and are now friends. I feel blessed with their support.

While I would not choose to be in this position, and I know Deloris would not either, the lessons we have both learned from it have been amazing. I have been going back over my emails, trying to put them in some sort of coherent order, both so I can see the trends and also because I think there's a book somewhere in the midst of it.

I have a sense that this site will be a great help to me; might have been nice to have found it earlier. Oh well . . . .

Hi and welcome to Strokenetwork and to the Blog Community. I like your metaphor of learning to float. As a survivor myself I can relate to that completely. Stroke affects the entire family not only the survivor. Through the blog community we are afforded the opportunity to further get acquainted with a member. We're on this stroke ship together and are here for each other to support and encourage one another. Strokenetwork has been my life preserver and I'm so glad you found us.

 

Please extend a Happy Birthday to Deloris.

Thanks for the welcome. I will extend birthday greetings to Deloris.

Thanks Asha. I have found my emails to be a source of great therapy and connection with friends, so I am sure blogging will be even more so.

I appreciate reading this review of Dr. Taylor's book. I have not read it yet, but was impressed with her talk which is circulating on the Web. Of course, I found her right brain, "new-agey" experiences encouraging and far from nonsense. But, that's my world view. It doesn't have any more credence than someone else's.

I think it is important that we recognize that Taylor's experience was her experience. Other people's experiences are no doubt different. To call her a fraud, I think, is discounting what she may have actually experienced. I have not had a stroke, but my wife has. Her experiences were not the same as Dr. Taylor's. I am sure they are not the same as anyone else's, either. They are certainly different from those Dr. Taylor discusses. Yet, they are real; they are valid. They are hers. Just as I have no reason to believe Taylor's experiences were anything but real, valid and hers. One may like the book, or not; one may agree with her conclusions or not. We do not have the right, or the knowledge, to say that the experiences she described, and the lesssons she learned, were false or fraudulent. They just may not be ours.