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I love you all so much. I know if I did not have the support from this forum Id not be in nearly as good a place to keep dealing with all this I am so SORE!! On top of the central pain it one would not think it so noticible but it is Bill really is not doing well One hour one minute at a time thats all thats required of me and at times that is what I have left to give Hugs Karen

This is not FUNNY anymore. First of all let me tell you yesterday we were in a rear end collision accident that will most likely total our vehicle. Our Grandaughter was in her car seat in the back She wast getting over the Strep Throat so we took her to her Pediatrician Got another Script went to go to VA Hospital to ge Bills medication. Prayer for him please as he awaits the Biopsy That will be Dec 15th Then we will know if we are dealing witn a benign mass or Cancer. He still cannot eat and is in horrible pain so we try not to let negativity get us on the blind side. Back to the car accident we were rearended The driver simply never saw us and admitted that and he hit us full speed I am so sore today . The Belt really grabbed all the wrong places and I hit my head on the passenger window. We immediately took Kaylee in to be checked out Poor little doll. She was terrified but only received one contusiont of her left clavicle area where the car seat straps held her in place. She should be fine. Anyway it seems that I am keeping the prayer chain on their knees so dont get up quite yet As Sue says I come to you Somehow you always are here and know just how to encourage me my dear friends Bill cant tell if he was hurt he hurts to bad all the time Love you all dearly Karen

Its the night before Thanksgiving and for the first time in years Bill and I did not make it to the soup supper at our church. Many things are different in our lives right now but I want you to know that you all are a huge part of our gratitude list this year I dont know where we would be without you all but we would not be in as good a place as we are in as we face Bill upcoming surgery and whatever that brings God Bless you all Love all good things to each and every one of you Karen

Asha Suffering itself may not be a choice the extent to which we make ourselves available to the extent of the suffering may be somewhat optional. Hugs to you dear friend for noting we never have to surrender all our options Karen

Jan I so love you and your courage and strength. I think you know most of if not all of my story and ours was not so different, Mine was brain hemmoraging and it most definitely affected the brain stem area It took me a very long time to wake up once I did I think I might have recovered maybe a little bit quicker but some of that is relative as I never think I have had it nearly as bad as the other stories you know You are one of my Heros Wanted you to know that has not and will not ever change Love Karen

Hugs and Thank you The one thing I have not doubted is that this group of friends will be by my side through it all. One thing about stroke survivors and their Husband and Wives and loved ones they have been sorely tried by fire and not found lacking in strength, courage and determination Love Karen

I Will not cannot give up hope Its just such a reminder of when our friends could not cope with the stroke we lost many good friends the ones who remained were Rock Solid. Now I am seeing our friends glance away and down and looking for a way to escape once again Acutally I feel sorry for our friends right now They are as cluless as we would be if they were in our shoes I know my friends at strokenet are praying and doing all they can do because these are the friends who know intimately the pain of the loss when the road gets long and all up hill I love you all Its you that I turn to when I need to share the things that require strength in knowing and sharing each others burdens. I think the reason I do this is I know you are the ones who are survivors and can take it without sugar coating. I love you all dearly you are my strength as I am yours its lile we all get to take our turn at goodnews and the not to good news Hugs Karen

I have sat here for what maybe 10 minutes I have a million things running through my head. Bill has not had his biopsy yet his primary care doctor admitted that Gastroenterology must have messed up Its not scheduled and for certain the notation is there to do the Biopsy and refer on to all all appropirate departments based on results and decisions for continuance of care. This is my biggest road block ever in life The tallest hurdle the biggest test I have ever faced If its pancreatic cancer where do we go from here I want someone anyone to be able to even look me in the eye and say they even care besides the closest of family. Its like the stroke all over againg no one is looking at me or Bill now its like its all to big to deal with so they have a need to be normal and we are not normal not if its Cancer pancreatic cancer and since its a very large mass in the pancreas the chances are ...... I cant say it ok. This was not on our to do list we I am reminded to remain positive I am I am positively scared out of my mind. Say a prayer we know how to beat the odds on strokes not on pancreatic There go all those million thoughts again. Please understand I am not whining and Bill absolutely is not the whining type I need hugs and please dont let go right away I am so scared Karen

Brian that really got me thinking Is Stroke Survivor my Identity? I cannot answer that with a resounding No! I think maybe if I had not had so many strokes to survive or so nearly fatal my need to so strongly indentify with the survivor mentality. You know what though you are so Right I am Karen Thanks for this Blog you really got me examining some stuff.....Thanks friend!! Hugs Karen

Annie it looks like your perseverance has paid off Here is your Blog and as close as I can tell it was globaly published WHOO HOO!! And the same can be said of life after stroke as well Perseverance pays off This is indeed a new stage and phase in your life and recovery. If you ever need anything just give us a shout out and I think you will find that many of us will be there to help you find your way through. Karen

I know your situation from the other side. Bill has been recommended for the Cochlear implant. I am thinking next time he will go ahead and do it. He was hesitant but I think almost certainly he is resigned now. It want so bad to tell him I love him and have him hear me. I have assist him all the time despite the most expensive aids on the market and he has ever gadget as his aids are linked to BlueTooth Karen

Bruce I have several aneurisms When I had my last stroke they looked them all over really good and suggest that maybe surgery should not be the first choice due to the areas of the brain Not sure I can make up my mind on what to do if anything Do what you can live with and have no regrets Hugs to you It is not easy knowing they are there either. Weighs heavy on the heart Not so much for me but Bill is the one who would have to take care of me would it make it harder on him? **sigh** Was it Roseanna Roseanna Dana that used to say on Saturday night live Its always somethin!!!! Now if I can remember that why cant I remember anything else for over 20 minutes? Karen

Fred you are indeed amazing I have got to call you but I want to do it from my cell phone and had left it at my sons house. My grandaughter found it back so You will get a call soon Tomorrow is Kaylees B day She is 3 and so tomorrow is her day with Grandma my concerns can wait another day but your going to be getting that call from me. Fred you are an Inspiration and always remind me its all good God is in control Indeed its all Good Hugs Karen

You can rest assured the first thing I did is say a prayer Bless your hearts Karen

Bill and I celebrated our 41 st wedding anniversary on the 15th I am still trying to figure out how to blog on our new board. Hugs Karen

If you are very fortunate and meet and marry your lifes love you will build the years one on top of another year after year. Bill and I celebrated our 41st wedding anniversary yesterday on the 15th of June. Isnt that really something 41 years if you count dating 43 Love Karen

Oh dear if only you could see the bruise I have from a fall. I will have to see if I can take a picture and post it. Gentle Hugs Karen

No matter what they say they have not had your experince, It is so hard to understand that there are those what will think that if we just tried a little harder we could overcome anything. That is not true. It is true that we need to give it all our to retrain and establish alternate pathways. But we cannot just our eyes and click our hees 3 times and somehow if we follow the yellobrick road all will be wonderful Just know that we have this place where we can come and be with those tho understand completely as we live it in our own individual way each and every day . Perhaps if you print this out so that they have a way of connecting to others who like you strive every day for any measurable indication that we can ever be the same again. I like to think that in ways I am better than ever. That is because I am focused on the important things of life with a new passion. I know my own limitations and each and every day I strive to regain all thet I can and leave the rest up to God. Karen

Tammy I can tell that you are going to fit right in. That is fantastic. I hope to see you in chat and would love for you to join with us in the chat I host. It is Thursday afternoon at 3:00 pm EST. The forums have a wide range of topics. Hugs Karen

Fred you are so right. Thank you Hugs Karen

Love your hair.... not to long ago I had my Bob cut. Id worn it so long that way.... I had it cut into what they call the chicken butt hair cut. I dont know if you got the show Jon and Kate plus 8 She sort of made the style famous. I really find it much easier to care for than the Bob. I dont know what in the world made me have my hair cut short, it is easier care and thats good. I need all the help I can get after recently re stroking. Hugs to you Sue you are always such an inspiration. Karen

Stessie It is always a real boost to read your blogs and post to the forum and chats. Congratulations on your anniversary and know that we are celebrating it with you. I am still trying to not let my latest stuff get to me or let the prognosis be a worry. I am glad I saw your blog it really got me smiling on the inside. Hugs Karen

Fred I got our hanging tomatoe thing at Lowes and I think it was $12 something as I got the tomatoe plant and the hanger on the same day. We had a bumper crop compared to yours...with ours we had 2 tomatoes and a small tomato. Not even tasty!!! I am not doing it again I am going back to the traditional way of growing a tomatoe. I have the plants bought and Grandpa Bill and me and Kaylee are going to do the planting on Sunday afternoon. I am going back to the traditional way as I dont want to disappoint my darling Kaylee. The main thing she is so excited about is we planted a new tree last year and it has grown to beat the band and I also planted Poppys and she helped and Bless her little heart she gets so excited then again She will be 3 in July. I dont know what in the world I will do when these special time start to loose the magic. I still say that Kaylee is the reason I lived. Greg and his wife Cindy were expecting her when I had the brain bleeds. Kaylee and I have such a close bond. I must tell you that I had a friend in Iowa that did the tomatoe upside down planter thing and she really had tomatoe's. She even put up tomatoes. So I wonder if its the size of what you plant in the first place or what the reason is for her sucess and my failure. I noticed they have them now for strawberries and peppers and hummingbird flowering feeders and ones that claim to grow 90lbs of tomatoes in like 4-5 openings I just dont trust that anymore myself. Hugs Karen

Hi Wes I want you to know that we miss seeing you here strokeNet. As long as your on facebook we are only a click away. I am so glad to hear you are doing your rides and continue to have succes in restoring your abilities post stroke. I wish I could say the same I had another stroke a few weeks ago but as you know you cannot keep a good man or woman down for long!! Thanks so much for stopping by and letting us know how you are doing. You are a huge part of our family here. Karen